So Mad!!

[Debs]

Told my friend of many years I dress, she was amazing at first, she now tells me if she is coming round not to dress, really!!!!!, told her sorry its part of me and in my dna, don't bother, I'm now hurting I've lost a friend, but will not be dictated to as of when I can and can't dress, rant over.

[Stephanie47]

Her reaction really does not surprise me. I think at first it is somewhat of a novelty. Then it loses it luster. From your posts I know you have issues also with your wife. Do the two women communicate or are friends?

[Teresa]

Debs,
I'm getting this from a very old friend . I am finding this annoying because I feel he's being a hypocrite as his lifestyle is questionable and I have to sit through his conversation telling me how good life is now for him .At the same time he tells me he doesn't want to hear my "girlie stories !" as he puts it . One day I'm just going to walk into his studio dressed and see how he deals with it face to face .

[Charlotte7]

Debs, this is always the risk when someone new finds out. Why can't they see that nothing has changed, you're exactly same person that you were? The only difference is that they know a bit more about you. You're right to be mad, it makes me mad too!

[docrobbysherry]

What Steph said. My old college girlfriend and I kept hooked up before and after each other's marriages for over 30 years. Then, Sherry showed up!:battingeyelashes:

At first she was supportive, even made suggestions on improving my photos. But, after 6 months she got sick to death, possibly jealous, of Sherry. And, didn't want to hear another word about dressing!

That was 10 years ago and she hasn't spoken to me since! She was the first and last of my "non trans" related friends to know about Sherry!:thumbsdn:

[Tracii G]

No reason to be mad get over it.
You can't force somebody to like you and you can't force your lifestyle on them.
They have the right not to like what you do.
Time to make some new friends.

[alwayshave]

Debs, I'm sorry that you lost a friend. I understand that not everyone will accept me.

[Connie D50]

Deb sorry for your lost of a friend, maybe she well come around to understand, keep an open mind if she does.

[t-girlxsophie]

I've only one guy I would describe as a really good friend (sad I know) We reconnected after a dozen years,and unless his outlook on life has drastically changed I see no merit in telling him about my femme life.It comes down to weighing up the pro's and con's of unveiling ones other self and wether losing your friend is collateral damage that you could cope with

Sophie

[GretchenM]

I think you deserve to be mad at your friend. It is perhaps a kind of betrayal of the friendship. That is, the friendship is conditional on you being the right person. Friendships can be built on that, but they tend to be volatile and quickly go south if that compatibility requirement is not fully met. I agree with others - time to move on.

[DaisyLawrence]

Yeah, what Gretchen said!

[Kelly DeWinter]

Sometimes I think about the reasons people give and receive for ending friendships. I've come to the conclusion that a more honest reason is the person ending the relationship just doesn't feel like they fit in. I've had people stop talking to me because I'm not into sports Football,Baseball etc.

I would not give it much thought, you will find others who are more supportive .

[AllieSF]

Not knowing the full story nor details on timing of possibly many conversations, did you give her time to really absorb it all. Could you have said "OK, let's get together to talk this over with me in male mode." I.e. if you had a lot of conversations up to this point to help her understand and to answer whatever questions she had, OK, let her go. However, if this happened over a relatively short period of time, maybe a one on one deep conversation is in order to save what you thought was a solid friendship. Maybe worth the try?

[Fran in skirts]

Hi Debs,
I do not think I would happy to see her after that conversation. I do not tell others what to wear when they come to my house to see me and I will not tolerate someone telling me what I can wear while they visit me. I have a friend that I have known for over forty years, we are the best of friends we have helped each other in times of need and grief. when I told him I was now wearing skirts, he was shocked but said if I was happy doing it no problem. We have a thing we do for each other on our birthdays, we treat each other to dinner at a nice restaurant and his was coming up when he asked was I going to wear a skirt I said yes, he said OK! He had no problem with being seen with me in a skirt.
So if your friend can't live with the skirts and dresses and make-up they are not your real friend.

[Beverley Sims]

Not a good friend, if she does come around and apologises take her in, you never need to lose a good friend.