Having Urges to be sexual with men

[JENQUEEN51]

I have been crossdressing for many years and have urges to be with a man and experience the female side of sex but have suppressed ituntil now. The urges are getting greater but I don't know how or where to go to experince the affair I am looking for. Any help out there? Jennifer

[Robertacd]

You don't know how or where?

How did you go about having sex with women? Where did you go to find a sex partner previously? I think those would be the place to start.

[Maria in heels]

Hi Jennifer! I have read and realize that for many, it is a fantasy that some do choose to live out. Only thing that i can say is that be careful, use protection, and it may not be what the fantasy actually is, and sometimes, the fantasy should remain just that...a fantasy. I did notice that you put in a previous post years ago that you are "bi" so i am kind of confused here...

[Connie D50]

Jennifer all kind of sites out there. Google crossdressers admirers or alterative lifestyles. You should find something.

[docrobbysherry]

Jenn, most of us have had fantasies of being a woman with a man. Mine confused me for years. I thot I had suddenly turned gay!:eek:

But, parts is parts. That's how I worked it out. I was attracted to the idea of being a woman at the mercy of a man. But, NOT attracted to male parts! I was simply a straight crossdresser off fantasizing!:o

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Oh, Lord! I too have those fantasies at times! Sometimes I feel I want to belong to a sweet man and make him so happy, maybe as my husband! Oh, what do I do?
Roxanne

[Leslie Mary S]

I too have thought of this fantasy but quickly realize I can never feel all the feelings of a woman because I an neither physically or mentally totally wired as a woman. With out that, then I can NEVER totally feel all a woman feels. So the fantasy stays a fantasy.

[ClosetED]

As others have said, many have these fantasies. Does looking at a man's body get you sexually excited so it could be seen? If not, then it probably is just a fantasy that you want a man to treat you like a woman, but not to have sex with them.
Hugs, Ellen

[IleneD]

Hmmmm.
What are you doing Friday night, Jen?

..... just kidding.
Hey, I completely understand. These feelings are common. I have them. Don't act on it....especially if you're in a marriage or relationship.
If you are looking for a first time experience or to hook up, please be careful out there. I have a few gay bars (mostly a lesbian bar) I frequent from time to time, and it's a fine safe place. But bars, IMO, are horrible places to develop a relationship or find someone suitable to fairly & decently entertain your experiment.
Good luck.

[phili]

I followed up all those urges in my 20s, and am glad I did. Mostly my partners were just nice sweet guys and I am super happy to draw on those experiences- as the memories are enough so i know what it is like and can more easily forgo it now and relive the moments in my fantasies.

Years later I realized how incredibly fortunate I was to have unknowingly played Russian roulette with AIDs so many times and won. There are lots more STDs now and I wouldn't take that chance again. So protection is super important, even with highbrow partners. You really have to get to know someone before you have a clear idea about STD potential. This is a drag, since it unprotected sex is really what delivers the intimate fleshly pleasures and lets us feel what we are seeking.
The bad part is that the sexual satisfaction we want so badly doesn't last- we want to do it again, to repeat, or to change this or that. But in one night stands we are betting against some serious odds. After the STD risks became known, I made a promise to myself not to expose myself again, but placing myself in temptation, my promise vanished. Afterwards, I lived in serious dread for months, having risked trading off my health and ability to partner with a future wife and have a family, for what was less than a minute of fantasy fulfillment. That cured me of thinking with my arousal hormones.

The other big thing is that real human being men have feelings, and objectifying people as sex objects really isn't satisfying. If you have had sex with women, think of the complications. Much of the experience with men will be the same- the dance of communicating intent beforehand, the misunderstandings, the awkward parts, the pain, the confusion of sensations, the newness, the messiness, the after its over awkward parts, and more importantly, the shall we see each other again, and the fact that it usually isn't a relationship that is going anywhere.

Yes, I got to be the woman, and it was a deep and impactful experience. But it isn't fun to have a bunch of people in my life that I didn't really know, and where we [even though it was friendly and uncomplicated at the time] used each other, and now I have to forever depend on them not surfacing again.

I have discovered to my relief that sex play with toys is more reliably better paced, less complicated, more to the point, and much safer than with real people- if I am looking for emotional role play and sexual satisfaction. It removes the need to use others as sex objects, or be used. And it works well as a sex fantasy practice that is not competing with my real spouse.

If I were seeking an LTR to hopefully experience what ellbee did, I'd go to gay meetups and outdoor activities and get to know the variety of men. I would take time to develop my awareness of my feelings, enjoy friendships first and let the sexual part develop in an atmosphere of trust and positive intimacy. That way I could actually have more and better sex, and not succumb to the Russian roulette danger of changing partners all the time.

I found that generally gay men were not attracted or turned on by my feminine clothes, but gently understood them as symbolic of my wanting to be the feminine partner. That said, i didn't get much time dressed up. I get far more satisfaction in that area just from wearing my dresses out and about and enjoying my flirtatious walk. In my experience the "straight" men looking for sex were conflicted and wanted fast secret sex- I'd choose a gay man who is out and comfortable with himself any day over that option for a relationship.

[Tracii G]

Its a fantasy because you are a male and don't have the right parts to feel it as a woman would.
If you wish to live out your fantasy just be very careful and wear/have him wear protection.
Sometimes you need to hear its a fantasy and leave it as such.
If you are gay thats one thing but if you aren't gay why then why?
If you are thinking you might be gay then you aren't because if you are gay you would know it already.

[mykell]

i would imagine you would have to go to a bar, its hard to trust something like this on-line, in my area they have a meet-up where they let "admirers" attend the functions, some keep the activities private

Others talk of these urges and when push came to shove it was an unfullfilled fantasy....good luck....

[Rhonda Jean]

Tracii,

As far whether one knows whether or not they're gay, not picking on you, but weren't you married a couple of times to women?

[Kelly DeWinter]

In a word "Don't", Most spouses will not appreciate having an affair. It's a great way to turn a happy marriage into an expensive divorce.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I don't mean to offend anybody, but no friggin' way! ;) . But as there are several different "drives" for CDing, Certain types of CDs would be more prone to entertaining such fantasies (or acts) than others. Those that identify as women to a degree, while not actually TS or gay, could, conceivably, consider such things. Those of us who are "escapists" and heterosexuals who are very attracted to the female form might not identify with women and likely would not be attracted to men. So I think a CDer being attracted to men or not is dependent upon what kind of CDer one is.

[Tracii G]

Yes Rhonda Jean I was and it was a mistake both times.
I always knew deep down it was not "who" I was but we do things to try and live life to societies standards.
There are plenty of gay men married to women and I'm sure you know that.
When I "came out" it was the most affirming day of my life because I was finally honest with myself.

[cdsamswife]

Hi Jennifer,

I don't know if you're still married or how accepting your wife/partner is...or if u have any kids or anything... but I would advise against trying to build a sexual relationship with another partner outside of your spouse. My cd husband did so before we got married and it nearly ruined both of our lives (i am not exaggerating).... if you do go down that route... please be very careful and get tested before and after for any STIs .... ive heard people that go to certain fetish events or on fetlife to meet people with similar sexual fantasies...

Another idea... would your spouse be interested in doing some reverse role playing with you? other than actually finding a man to fulfill your desires?

[Beverley Sims]

NO! there is no help here in helping you find another mate, I will advise you to work it out with your partner and maybe she is willing to do role reversal with you.

Hopefully you will find some answer for your fantasy without endangering your health or present relationship.

If it is only a fantasy it can be a tragic one.

[Rachelakld]

In New Zealand, we have some nice gay clubs, spa, sauna, gym, pool, "swings", private rooms, gay cinema.
While nice, and safety is important while at the premises, you're still running a risk
a) viruses
b) if your in a relationship, you'll end up carrying a secrete all the time
c) you might enjoy it so much, it becomes additive.

They are "wham bang thank you very much mam" shops
Gay bars, at least you have a chance of a longer term relationship, dinners, movie nights etc.
My friend has been in a 20 year relationship from such a meet up, he's a "Top" and loves girls like us.

[emma-louise]

I also had this fantasy of being with a man and after i had acted on it i wish it had stayed a fantasy did not enjoy it at all

[Ressie]

There are some adult book store type places where there is very casual sex with men and CDs. That's not for me, but I've met men on porn/dating websites. Post pics or videos of yourself as a horny little tramp and you'll get some attention. Most of the men that you attract will be married though. They're looking for sex outside of their marriage but actually getting together with them is hit or miss, mostly miss.

[Rhonda Jean]

[QUOTE=Tracii G;4285192]There are plenty of gay men married to women and I'm sure you know that./QUOTE]

Yep. A good friend of mine was married for nearly 30 years t a woman, now married to a man. His wife knew, too. His story of dealing with being gay and married to a woman, having a family, a close, religious, publicly visible extended family is much like very much like many of our stories of living similar lives as transgender.

[Emma S]

I have had these urges as well, many times. They seem to come and go like the pink fog. Sometimes the two match up, sometimes not. Last January it was so strong I could barely take it. Eventually for me it went away but in the past I've had a friend who is gay and I've messed around with, mostly just oral sex. It seemed to be exactly what I would need to get it out of my system for awhile and then I wouldn't be thinking about it again and I'd go back to a more heterosexual lifestyle. Weird how that works. Unfortunately he has since moved away so I'm out of that friend with benefits. Oh well.

[April T]

I've had the urges and have acted on them. I like to be with men when I am dressed. I like being the pretty one!

[Micki_Finn]

90% of the time, the fantasy will be far more enjoyable than reality. Definitely not something to engage in on a whim. Do you even have any experience with the “mechanics”? Proceed with extreme caution.

[ellbee]

I can only speak for myself, but it wasn't the attraction of men, per se -- but the attraction of taking on the female role in a romantic & sexual relationship!


And even when the right guy (for this) came along at the right time in my life, I still figuratively kicked & screamed & dragged my feet (which apparently inadvertently made him want me even more :heehee:)... Until I finally succumbed to his persistence. :o


We were co-workers at first, and soon became friends, even outside of work. He left the company, but we continued our friendship. He was openly gay, something like 12 years my senior, and in a committed relationship with another guy for like 15 years -- with no plans of ever leaving. Theirs was a bit of an open relationship, at least on my lover's side, but it was more of a DADT situation from his partner's view. As long as they were safe & used protection, were pretty discreet about it, and he didn't go running off with someone else, then his partner was okay with it. I don't believe I was his first mistress, nor do I believe I was his last.


Anyway, while I valued our friendship & had gained much from it, it wasn't like I was necessarily physically attracted to him (or any other guy), like I could be to certain GG's. When he had started turning up his sexual prowess more & more, and I began resigning myself to the fact that he'd probably eventually be taking my "other" virginity, I was pretty much like, "Eh, he's not that bad, really. I suppose he could do, for something like this." :devil:

In hindsight, I had probably used him as much as he used me, ya know? And I believe we're both fine with that fact.


For the record, I was *always* fully dolled-up during our intimate experiences. Otherwise, it was a no-go, on my end. Heck, before any of that ever started, usually I'd hang out with him while en-femme. Sometimes a bit dressy, sometimes business casual, and oftentimes dressy casual... Pretty much depending on how I was feeling at the time, or what we might be doing, or the day/time/weather, etc. He was always a great dresser no matter what, so me stepping up my own game was almost a must! Though as much as I did it for him, I also did it for myself, too. I mean, what girl *wouldn't* jump at the opportunity to primp & preen herself?!? :battingeyelashes:

And I suppose at some point, when we didn't feel like chilling at his beautiful & spacious home while his partner was away, our one-on-one outings eventually turned out to be more like dates... And yes, I'd be fully en-femme, on the arm of a guy who was now my boyfriend. So, it was only natural for me to start acting like a girlfriend! :D

Of course, I wasn't. In reality, I was his mistress. Big difference, LOL. But again, I had no real qualms with that, at the end of the day. Sure, when he eventually started slowly calling it off after a while, I was heart-broken at the time. I wanted to keep going, but he didn't. Certainly understandable, from his view. I believe he was feeling guilty for the whole cheating thing.


If I could do it over again, I'd probably want someone who was unattached (considering I was, as well). And also a wee bit more on the "straight" side of things. And also taller. Hope I'm not being too picky? :heehee:

No, I seriously don't believe I'll ever do something like that again. Don't get me wrong: It was awesome! I'm very happy I went through all that, to see what it's like "on the other side"... And not even just physically, but mentally & emotionally. Was it technically gay sex in a gay relationship, at least to an outside observer? Yep! But while going through it, it internally felt much more like a hetero relationship... And I got to be the GG! :yippee:


And yes, we "did things" in all kinds of ways & places & positions, LOL. But as mentioned, I was always all dolled-up, and I always took on the traditional female role. And finally, after like a year or so after our last intimate experience, I did get tested for *everything* -- just to be sure, especially prior to any new potential romantic relationship. Happy to report that I passed with flying colors. :thumbsup:



Anyway, is this something for everyone? Probably not. This was my own personal journey (which I could probably write an entire book about, LOL). And honestly, I think I would have been kicking myself for the rest of my life if I *hadn't* gone through it. I say that, because now "I know." Not only do I now know what it's like, and that I no longer have this gnawing curiosity eating away at me -- but it's also confirmed that I *much* prefer to be in that kind of relationship with a GG!

Again, it was an amazing time in my life, no doubt. Taking on the female role in a romantic/sexual relationship with a guy has taught me so much when it comes to all this stuff. I now have a much better understanding of what GG's can go through, of what not to do as a guy, and more important, what *definitely* to do! :p


Finally, I sometimes wonder what if he *hadn't* already been in a long-term committed relationship with somebody else. How would have my life possibly turned out differently? Would ours become a serious & long-term committed relationship?? I probably wouldn't have been fully happy with that, in the long run. Would I have stuck around to try to make it work? Would I eventually wander off, seeking another male partner? Again, I wouldn't have been happy with that, either. Would I have tried to go back to GG's, after that? Or simply stuck with trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole?

I also wonder if I hadn't jumped at this opportunity at the time, and instead stuck with GG's... Would I have this same gnawing curiosity, even after 10 or 20 years into a hetero marriage? What would I do about it *then*?? And how would it potentially affect *that* relationship, regardless?


Fortunately, things happened just the way they were supposed to, in my case. Others may not be so lucky.

Be open to stuff, if you're able to, sure. But also tread very carefully, friends...

[Rhonda Jean]

My advice is much different that it would have been 10 years ago. If you're married, forget it. That part hasn't changed. If you're not, though, if you have even the slightest curiosity, I think you absolutely need to set out to act on it, and definitely don't get into a committed relationship with a woman until you do. If you don't satisfy that curiosity, it'll always be a nagging thought, and itch you can't scratch. You've got to get completely beyond thinking that it's wrong, that you're going to hell, or whatever other hangup you have about it. You have to be and should be as open to a relationship with a man as you are to a woman. There is no downside that I can see. It will be life-affirming, one way or the other.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Its a fantasy because you are a male and don't have the right parts to feel it as a woman would.

Oh yes we do...

[Jaymie]

Hey Jen, I get it... why go to all the trouble we go to be pretty - prob the same for most GG - if not to attract the opposite sex (well in our case men). Idk... but I have come to understand that I love the attention - female, male, bi or gay (in order of preference but prob not likelihood!). Anyway here are some solid resources, if you decide to act on your urges! Hope it helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_zMQGn7etA

[ShirleyN]

Hi Jen, have to admit that i've those thoughts and dreams (but never desires) to be perfectly honest as i'm sexually attracted to women. Still, no.harm in wondering though.

[CourtneyJamieson]

Hi Jenn,
I had the same urges and desires. And I acted upon them. It was awesome. I have never regretted it. I felt sooooo feminine. Just get to know the guy a little bit beforehand and you will love it. The only problem is that once you experience it you will want to do it again and again. I know. I have had three encounters with guys. Makes me want to do it again.

[mbmeen12]

I had the same urges and desires. And I acted upon them. It was awkward but had admirer and it (sex)became easier.

[Felicia M]

Hi Jen,

I would agree with most everyone here that it is definitely something you should proceed with caution in doing. At the same time I completely understand and harbor a very strong desire to be with a man and from what others have intimated it would probably be a lovely experience in the right circumstances. What I thought was so profound is that it was something that had never even crossed my mind until recently and only after I began cross dressing again along with getting a lovely wardrobe, all the accouterments and developing the skills to transform into Felicia. I hope you find what you are looking for.....

[Susan Smokes]

Try reaching out to other local crossdressers. I am sure you will find one who has the same thoughts and desires as you. It worked for me, and I have no regrets. Good luck, and enjoy!

[Krisi]

Oh yes we do...

I think you know what Tracii meant. A vagina. You don't have one so you can't feel what it's like to have "traditional" male/female sex. Of course you can have anal or oral sex with a man but you don't have to dress up as a woman to do that. By definition, that would be "gay sex". Not that there's anything wrong with being gay but strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't change the fact that you are a male having sex with another male. Gay sex.

I think a lot of us have a fantasy of being a woman and having sex with a man but it's just that, a fantasy. I have had those fantasies myself but in my fantasies, there's just the male organ, never a male body or face attached to it. I've never seen or met a man I would want to even kiss, much less have sex with.


I'll finish by saying that if you (or anyone) is gay, that's fine. I don't mean my post to insult gay men, I'm just saying that disguising yourself as a woman doesn't change anything.

[SHINY-J]

If you’re single then go for it. I understand the urges as I have them myself when I dress even though I’m a straight man in my “normal” life. Otherwise, It will probably gnaw at you and grow until you do it... it should go without saying to be careful and play safe...

As others have said... sometimes a fantasy is better left a fantasy... but youlll never really know for sure I
Until you actually take that step and actually do it. if it’s just you and there isn’t a significant other/spouse to consider, then there’s really no harm-no foul... if you like it,... great... do it some more... if you don’t enjoy it,.. then you’ll know you don’t like it, the urge will be gone, and you’ll never have to do it again...

So just do it!

[EllieOPKS]

Good advice Shiny-J. I have posted on here before that when I transform into Ellie aka Ella, I feel like I become all woman. With that being said, I will please the man I am with as he likes. When I am in woman mode I am somewhat submissive. I enjoy being with a man and being treated as his girl. Maybe you can relate to the feelings.
With that being said, I have my own guidelines as to the kinda person I will be with such as safe sex period - no exceptions. We have to be friends, that is I have to know the person really well. He must be clean shaven face and pubes. I prefer someone taller than me - fits my sub side. Over my lifetime as Ellie, this has amounted to 3 guys. I am still k friends with all of them. Explore and have fun and be who you are but adopt high standards
Ellie

[valerie anne]

I have been developing certain feminine "charms" and I would love somebody to sample them!

[phili]

I want to defend those who feel that sex with a cd is not gay sex- I do think this is true for them,most of the time. I am bisexual, and I have been straight in every way with women, had sex as a cd and been sexually attracted to cds, and been with men in gay sex settings.

It has been pointed out technically male with male sex is homosexual, but when you identify with or as a woman you really are no longer operating as a man. And your partner is not interested in a typical man, but as a safe [can't get pregnant/understands men's sexuality] and available person that feels to them like a woman.

And for myself there is no question that with internally I feel like a woman- meaning psychologically and physically, and in sexual things as in ordinary social life I am appreciating a man as a woman does, and wanting to be appreciated as a woman, not as a man.

Here is a short video which covers the subject pretty well in lecture format, but there are dozens of youtubes on the subject!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QK2K1ZX-L4

[Becky Blue]

Jenn, most of us have had fantasies of being a woman with a man. Mine confused me for years. I thot I had suddenly turned gay!:eek:

I have to pick you up on this one Doc, I would say most of us haven't had any such thing... I would say 90% of the girls i know have no sexual interest in men... myself included..

As for the OP, you gotta do what you gotta do, life is too short to ponder.. just be very careful out there.

[phili]

Taking doc and Becky's example- and I know I do this too, we can be mindful about generalizing to 'most of us'! It is a good discipline to speak only our own experience, but I know I seek to justify my feelings - and I sincerely believe I am part of the majority! I can see now I just don't need to claim it's true. Just hearing that doc and Becky feel the way they do is enough.

Besides, we have the little thing called he unconscious to deal with-ooops- I mean I have . I have found that somehow I have prevented my own awareness of a lot of things, so even being certain of my own experience is doubtful. I see a lot of evolution here in the Forum as others begin to talk and feelings start to surface more.

Looking forward to more posts on this important [well, to me] subject!

[ellbee]

Of course you can have anal or oral sex with a man but you don't have to dress up as a woman to do that. By definition, that would be "gay sex". Not that there's anything wrong with being gay but strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't change the fact that you are a male having sex with another male. Gay sex.

What are your thoughts on a pre-op TS (in the female role) having sex with a man?

Do you consider that gay sex, as well?

[Charlotte7]

What are your thoughts on a pre-op TS (in the female role) having sex with a man?

Do you consider that gay sex, as well?

I think that gay sex is sex between two people who are, or who consider themselves to be, of the same gender. In this way, sex between a cross dresser and a man could be considered as gay sex, and sex between a pre-op (MTF) TS and a man, not. Whether or not this could be extended to a cross dresser having lesbian sex with a woman, or a pre-op TS or even another cross dresser may be harder to decide. And, you know what, this is 2018, let's just call it sex and do away with the labels. As long as you keep yourself and the person you're having sex with safe, as long as both parties are fully consenting adults, then nothing else matters.

And this last bit, the keeping safe bit, and the consenting bit, they're the most important messages for Jen, the OP.

[Adelaide]

I've been having the urges for years as well. I've done it once with a CD on a weekend while on a business trip. She had mid back natural long hair and her body was shaven. I loved the experience.... so did she.

[Maria 60]

I myself at times think about it but it was more reflective to story I read a few years ago. A crossdresser meet a guy on the Internet and they desided to meet at a movie. They meet in the theatre and with not much as they thought in common and now getting awkward the man told her to relax and even if nothing comes out of this just enjoy the movie. Little did she know her biggest fantasies where about to happen. With those tight theatre chairs he started slowly touching, first accidentally maybe a feel of the leg and slowly feeling more legs under her skirt.
I'm going to make this long story short it's beginning to sound like a porn story, anyway said and done she found herself with her skirt up, blouse unbottoned and panties and bra exposed in the theatre. He was just feeling her up, and she was stating in her story that she was ok with him feeling her but if he had come in for a kiss or expected her to touch his privates she was probably was going to throw up. She was only enjoying the attention of a man feeling her, but wasn't and didn't want to interact as a women. I believe that would be what I would want, to just get the attention from a man but not kissing or sex, maybe just get felt up. Does this make any sense?

[Roxanne Lanyon]

How interesting, (and full filling?).
Roxanne Dreams of . . . . ?

- - - Updated - - -

Then love, marriage, passion, , oh my! How very sweet! Should I be a bride?
Roxanne, in Honeymoon Lingerie?

[Jodi Yardley]

I've had the urges and have acted on them. I like to be with men when I am dressed. I like being the pretty one!

I feel the same...But only when dressed...and actually prefer to be with others that dress

[Roxanne Lanyon]

It is when I read something like this that my mind wanders to oh so sweet thoughts. I do enjoy being Roxanne - so much.

- - - Updated - - -

Just to, well, be my feminine self. Roxanne

[Susan Smokes]

Sometimes you just need to settle your urges, so you will know if is right for you. If you find out it is not for you, at least you know it was not meant to be.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I think I may need to, . . . . .
Roxanne, A bundle of Emotions

[cinderellaman]

Good advice Shiny-J. I have posted on here before that when I transform into Ellie aka Ella, I feel like I become all woman. With that being said, I will please the man I am with as he likes. When I am in woman mode I am somewhat submissive. I enjoy being with a man and being treated as his girl. Maybe you can relate to the feelings.
With that being said, I have my own guidelines as to the kinda person I will be with such as safe sex period - no exceptions. We have to be friends, that is I have to know the person really well. He must be clean shaven face and pubes. I prefer someone taller than me - fits my sub side. Over my lifetime as Ellie, this has amounted to 3 guys. I am still k friends with all of them. Explore and have fun and be who you are but adopt high standards
Ellie

That is exactly how I feel!! I'd really like to "date" a man. Safe sex. I'd prefer somebody clean shaven with an athletic body. I have seen a couple of men that I felt attracted to, never acted on the urges though. I'd like to improve my make up skills & add to my wardrobe before I pursue these urges.

[Krisi]

What are your thoughts on a pre-op TS (in the female role) having sex with a man?

Do you consider that gay sex, as well?

That is a very interesting question, one that is deserving of it's own thread. It's not relevant to this discussion about a crossdresser being with a man though.


The points I am trying to make are:

1) A crossdresser can't feel what it's like to have sex as a woman because he has no vagina.

2) Dressing as a woman doesn't make you a woman. It makes you a man dressed as a woman.


Now anyone is free to have sex with whoever they want and however they want. Just don't think that how you are dressed changes anything. It does not.

[Ressie]

Sorry Krisi but your thoughts on this are limited to your experience and opinions.

1) some crossdressers have their own perception that they feel like a woman when having sex with a man.

2) Yes, can't argue with that. But for some of us dressing sets off hormones that make us feel very feminine, at least in our own minds. Dressing does change things for some of us. There are all kinds of psychological nuances that makes us all different. And I believe there are shades of gray between CD and TS. There are no absolutes in the TG world.

[Stacy Darling]

1) A crossdresser can't feel what it's like to have sex as a woman because he has no vagina.



I beg to differ! Sex is the action and in this scenario and is pleasurable/orgasmic for the participants!

[Susan Smokes]

For me I just grew tired of over thinking it. It is just another way to have sex, and I enjoy it.

[mirima1992]

In recent years this began to be a strong urge for me as well. There was a huge interest on craigslist from straight men for crossdressers. A couple ads I placed got over 200 responses. I was only offering oral. Doubleist is not as highly frequented but still has a large number of straight men looking for crossdressers. A lot of guys looking for something girls won't give them. I have to talk to someone for a while and do some vetting, but I'll meet someone every few months. Kind of a high having a lot of men pursuing Mirima.

[April T]

I miss Craigslist. I was extremely careful but was able to find several men

[t-girlxsophie]

Have to admit after I got divorced and thinking my crossdressing would be a bar to starting another relationship,I experimented by finding guys online,i had some one nighters and a cpl of very brief relationships and i must admit I did enjoy the veel of bring wanted as a woman,but as others have said the crux of the matter was they never saw me as a woman and it didn't make me feel like one.

Luckily I met my wife and all that faded away another one of life's experience.Never thought of going down that road again

Sophie

[Janine cd]

I have had the fantasy of being loved by a man when dressed as a woman so many times but the reality is that it could never occur. The main reason being that I would never betray my wife by doing something so selfish.

[Patience]

I had an experience with a man once. It did nothing for me and I never did it again, despite having ample opportunity. I identify as a lesbian.

If you try it and you like it, more power to you.

[Princess Chantal]

i must admit I did enjoy the veel of being wanted as a woman,but as others have said the crux of the matter was they never saw me as a woman and it didn't make me feel like one

I am pretty sure this is most often the case.

[Ressie]

Yes, it's pretty much a cheap thrill for (most) men to get some action with a CD. But they keep coming back for more!

[Adelina]

Would love to and can't wait to.

[Lacy PJs]

The OP doesn't say anything about their current relationship situation and that weighs heavily on the subject in my mind. If one is in a committed heterosexual relationship, I'd think that there are ways that one could experience those urges within that loving, committed atmosphere... especially if one's partner is willing to assume the role necessary to satisfy those urges. There are times when my better half indulges in my fantasies and that makes me completely happy.

OTOH, if you have no safe, loving environment/relationship in which to act out on these urges... in my way of thinking, the risks far outweigh the rewards. One would either like it or not... but would face a formidable list of potential harm, both mentally and physically, to find out. Not worth it in my book.

Lacy PJs

[Roxanne Lanyon]

How sweetly nice, Adelina!
Your Roxanne

- - - Updated - - -

I simply think I would enjoy being loved and cared for. Would that ever be possible? (Oh, I surely hope so!)
Roxanne

[Lygophilia]

I think people have those feelings without dressing up. You like what you like.

[Alice Torn]

i totally agree Roxanne. Someone to love and care for me a lot. I am isolated and lonely at times , but like living alone, too. Just to meet up occasionally with a true gentle man as Alice. But, I can live without it. Last time, it did not go so well, with the admirer i met. When i am dolled in the fog, i do have a desire to meet and model my dresses and lingerie and arouse a single older gentleman, and do a lot, but no penetration sex, as I am very health conscious, and have some morals. I would not want to be 24/7 though, as i still like my guy stuff, and side. It is a great conflict in me, that i even have these desires to be fem with a man. I am attracted to women, but never could have a lady of my own, so i emulate the type i am attracted to. But, i know it is what is inside a woman, more important than outer looks. i am not attracted to many GGs anymore, only a few, too. Part of me wants to be all dolled up, for a gentleman, but not for penetration. i must admit, i have these thought when dressed as a guy, imagining being dressed with a man, but it is strongest when dolled up.

- - - Updated - - -

April, I met three admirers on CL. I miss it, but had to screen many men, and rule them out, especially marrieds. I am back to looking to meet admirers again... pink fog! But, i state in my adultfriendfinder.com ad, that i won't do penetration sex. There are a few far away that consider meetin me, but most guys want oral and or anal, so few want to meet. Best to be cautious, though.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Oh Alice, I feel oh so similar! But I ever so want to feel loved, and cared for, so much! One day, perhaps. Oh my, it would be ever so sweet! I want to be a really good girl for him, too!

Roxanne, For Him

[BillieS]

I have urges now, beginning about a year ago for the first time. I'm not sure I'd act on them (I'm in a committed relationship), but I definitely fantasize in ways I had not before!

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I adore fantacizing about sweet, kind men.
Roxanne

[Ressie]

I got into an in depth conversation about this with a pre-op TS last weekend. We had a lot in common on the topic of being with men - sharing stories of our experiences. However her desires are are much stronger than mine.

[Brandi Christine]

Oh my gosh, I'd do it in a heartbeat if I wasn't married (DADT). When in guy mode there is no attraction to men, but in girl mode I would love to make love to a man, be treated as his woman, be taken and to give my all to him. In girl mode there is no attraction to women, only men…

[Michelle8]

I have been having the same thoughts.There is a certain clerk that turns me on and I wish he would say something.i might have to ask him.

[StevieTV]

I gave into my urges to be with men a long time ago. I enjoy how they treat me both mentally and physically. I think I really became more feminine when I was with men and was encouraged by their responses. I've found that straight men have a fantasy of being with a crossdresser and enjoy having me being more open to their ideas than their female partner. Many years ago, I tried sex with females, but it always felt awkward and uncomfortable. When I'm with a guy and I'm femme, it's so much more "natural".

[SueAnncd]

I have never had the urge to be with a man while I am in male mode but when I am dressed I have strong desires to be with a man.

[laura.lapinski]

Like quite a few of the posters stated, I am not attracted to men at all in my normal everyday life, but when fantasizing I imagine myself as the woman making romantic love with a man.

[krissy]

be very careful I did it once to see if I was attracted to a man. I got raped so please be very careful .

[RachelPortugal]

Hi Jennifer,

With so little information in your profile it is difficult to offer advice. So many of the responses assume you are based in North America. There are websites that offer the opportunity to connect with people who are willing to help you fulfill a fantasy, but they are generally geographically specific, it is no use being directed to a UK based "contact" site if you are in the US or vice versa.

From your introduction post, and indeed your only post for more than 12 years, you stated: "I am a bi cd and enjoy that other side of me when dressed only, as I am happily married for 32 years and wish to stay that way."

What is true? Did you "enjoy the other side .. when dressed only" or "have suppressed it until now". Whatever, if you are still happily married, now 44 years, don't throw that away unless your wife is onboard with helping you fulfill the fantasy.

[Joanna50]

I've been with men, dressed up, and with women, as a man. That makes me bi I guess. It's exciting either way, and the men love it.

[mona lisa]

I have no attraction to men but when dolled up, I have felt at times a desire to be a woman for a man sexually.

[StephanieH]

I think a lot of us end up having those thoughts. Thankfully, I have a wonderfully kinky and very supportive wife. We've been able to fulfill a good number of fantasies in the last few years (before we get any older) and I am hopelessly in love with her and always will be. That said, she has discovered her bi side and perhaps that explains why she has always been so understanding with my dressing, and downright supportive - yes, I consider myself very fortunate.

She has had a couple of gal pals in the last six years or so, and we introduced a third-wheel guy into the relationship several years ago that did allow me to fulfill some of my fantasies too, but hers were always paramount. I wouldn't call us "swingers" - we don't just get out there and openly engage in that stuff, but, we have allowed other people into the bedroom after a long and careful process of dinners, outings, and befriending them. Both my wife and I have the "damsel in distress" fantasy firmly stuck in our heads, and I got to share that experience with her a few times with that one fellow. It was really quite amazing. I don't think myself gay at all, I LOVE everything about women, but there is something terribly exciting about being submissive to a dominant fellow when dressed (and semi-dressed) and I certainly hope to have those experiences again.

[toranna]

I am not attracted to men at all in my normal everyday life

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I have been divorced for over two years. I find myaelf desiring a relationship with a nice man, a gentleman, while I am dressed. I just can't stop thinking about it. I guess I may be a bit strange, but I do love the feeling! Maybe one day . . . . .?

[JayeDee]

I very much enjoy being my wife's lesbian lover when I'm dressed for bed, and I "long" to spend some time as the right fellow's eye and hand candy while en femme. Perhaps someday ...

[helenejo]

I have always famcied men when dressed up but lately even when in drab had started looking at certain guys and finding them attractive., which I mever used to do. I feel now if the opportunity presented itself with a guy when I was not en femme, I would go for it anyway

[Rayleen]

the urge to be sexual with a man while dressed as woman to me would be a fantasy which I'm not interested.

With another woman , I would feel like a lesbian and that I fantasize .

[AKADonna]

I was overwhelmed with very similar thoughts and I was conflicted by my love for my wife and our long term marriage. Still feeling the need to experience sex as a woman while not creating a relationship that would endanger my marriage, I decided to seek a session with a Pro Dominatrix in a nearby large city. I found a Pro who specializes in feminization and TG play and called and setup a session, telling her of my CDing and how much I wanted to experience sex as a woman. She was quite congenial and understanding of my situation and seemed anxious to help me out.

I drove to the session as Donna and remained in character throughout the 2 hour session. She instructed me on taking a dildo orally and then, after providing me an enema, deflowered me with her strapon. While this was not sex with a man, it surely made me feel and act like a woman, as best I could with the equipment provided. It was a tremendous experience for me and one that I have repeated a couple of times since.

Fearing STD's and jeopordizing my marriage, I found this little substitute a nice and non-threatening way to act upon my feminine sexual fantasies. I would recommend doing this before taking too many risks. It cost me some $$$, but, since doing this, I no longer fantasize about having sex as a woman as I once did and am far more satisfied with who I am.

[Veronica4me]

Be careful out there, gurls! There is a difference in the concept of being with another man and actually being with one. They are not going to be clean shaven like you from head to toe, and they're not going to be in touch with their feminine side as you are. Sex dressed as a woman is not going to let you experience sex as a woman simply because you are not equipped the same way (without major surgery).