I don't care she makes a lovely lady !

[Teresa]

This a follow up thread to , " I'm so glad I broke the ice ! "

I was just returning from shopping yesterday , wearing a skirt and Tshirt when I saw my neighbour in her front garden doing some tidying up so went across to have a chat with her . The subject came round to what her granddaughter said after she met me when they asked if she could talk to my dog . She said the little girl didn't realise I wasn't a lady until I spoke , so then she asked why was a man wearing lady's clothes ? It was left for the daughter to explain when she returned to her own home , apparently at the end of the explanation she replied , " I don't care she makes a lovely lady !" I thought that was very special coming from a six year old .

So I then said to my neighbour perhaps I should try and change my voice , she turned on me sying , " Don't you dare, we love you the way you are, being you is what we respect you for ".

So there we go that is what my neighbour thinks, OK so I don't pass but it obvioiusly doesn't matter , just being you is the most important point .

[GracieRose]

The wisdom of a small child.

[Elizabeth G]

What a great story! You have a wonderful neighbor.

[Gillian Gigs]

This a follow up thread to , " I'm so glad I broke the ice

So I then said to my neighbour perhaps I should try and change my voice , she turned on me sying , " Don't you dare, we love you the way you are, being you is what we respect you for ".

So there we go that is what my neighbour thinks, OK so I don't pass but it obvioiusly doesn't matter , just being you is the most important point .

Maybe this is the crux of a lot of a CD'ers situation. Many people lie, but everyone wants to hear and see the truth. Your neighbour respects you for the honesty of who you are and how you are not hiding the truth of your nature. Oh, to receive this kind of acceptance.

[RADER]

If that is a window into the future generation, there might be hope for us after all.
Rader

[Teresa]

Gillian,
I should have finished the converstaion I had with her apart from a discussion about makeup she mentioned she had seen two Cders in the town and when I first told her about being TG back in Febraury she felt very apprehensive because they appeared more like MIADS and did wonder what I would look like . She had two feelings initially about them , she felt uneasy and then felt she wanted to help in some way with their appearance . She then looked me up and down and said I could learn something from you . Another interesting comment she made was that she wished she had the legs to wear a skirt , I've heard this comment so many times . I almost feel it needs a separate thread , not all women do want to wear trousers but really don't like their legs and feel they have no choice . I know I felt the odd one out in a waiting room because I was the only one wearing a skirt but now I've had fresh thoughts on continuing to wear them because far more women would prefer to wear them .

I don't want to make a big issue out of the MIAD comment but it does show what the public may think , it does give them confusing and unsettling thoughts .

[Rhonda Jean]

That's awesome! I avoid little kids like the plaque. They are very perceptive and have no filter.

Back when I had very long hair I went to a new salon (in male mode) where the owner had her little girl about that age with her. She washed my hair, trimmed the ends, dried it, and either rolled it or set it with a curling iron, I can't remember. Her daughter sat in the chair beside me, totally spellbound and staring at me the whole time. The owner, who was doing my hair, said, "She's just not used to seeing men with long hair." Made me uncomfortable knowing that I'd set her wheels spinning and not knowing what she was thinking. She never said a word, that I recall. I never went back.

[Teresa]

Rhonda,
After my situation I wonder the the little girl was thinking about you , what a shame she never said .

My one thought about my story is wondering how the child's mother explained it to her .

Just a footnote I'd like to add about the child's comment , she did say " She makes a lovely lady !" and not he .

[t-girlxsophie]

That's awesome,a really uplifting story so happy for you

Sophie

[Crissy 107]

Teresa, Another good step forward. Crissy

[Beverley Sims]

As Professor Higgins from My Fair Lady would say, "I think you've got it".

[Rachael Leigh]

Teresa that is what I say all the time I’m just being me. Anytime I’m out in full Rachael mode and if I come home to get my
mail I just go to the box on the street as any normal person if a neighbor sees than so be it. It’s me.
Kids are amazing for sure it shows hate it taught and kids are ok with us as long as their not taught otherwise

[Teresa]

Rachel,
I'm not sure what differences there are in the way Uk schools and US school deal with gender issues . The state schools in the UK are accepting the decision of pupils about their chosen gender . It is early days and as one teacher told me she was fully on board with this policy but they were trying to intruduce the changes without a full traing program . The other issue she raised was her fears of bullying would increase , mostly through mobile phones . That really is a bone of contention should the phones all be switched off or left in a secure area in school time ?.

I commented before about sitting back and let these issues come to my family , it won't be long before my grandchildren will be sitting next to a little boy wearing a dress or the teacher who was MR. Smith last term suddenly becomes Miss Smith in the new term or a friend was picked up from school last term by daddy is now picked up by a new mummy . I'm just waiting to see how they explain it to my grandsons , I would love to think they are as open minded as my daughter and my next door neighbour .

[t-girlxsophie]

Teresa, there is a 3 part drama, starring Anna Friel coming to ITV soon about a transgender child, It's called Butterfly, should be interesting to see if the subject is dealt with sympathetically, hopefully too that it may help people understand a bit more

Sophie

[Barbara Black]

Wow, what great neighbors, adult and young.

[Jaymie]

That is a lovely story Teresa...

[alwayshave]

Lovely story. You do make a lovely lady.

[Teresa]

Take it easy everyone , I won't need to use blusher , I'm blushing enough !

Sharing stories like this one does show others how people can be once you get over your own obstacles , we can find 101 things to convince ourselves it won't happen to me . I know that feeling from when I first joined the forum , I also accept it does come at a price . It is hard to find a breathing space sometimes but when you do you can see your own problems and hopefully how to solve them and also see faults in others and decide the best course of action for all concerned . I know I've done the right thing , I would never have known this side of me and how happy it has made me .

Sophie,
Thanks I did see it advertised I'll have to make a note to remind me , you know how dizzy blonds can be at times !!

[Stephanie47]

I've found over the years that children pick up clues from their parents. My wife is an elementary school teacher. She tells me stories of kindergarten kids being totally brutal towards others. Definitely learned at home. I think your neighbor told you to be authentic when she told you not to change your voice. Happy to read the child is gauging people on their inner beauty.

[Teresa]

Stephanie,
Do you think it was the inner beauty or I gave enough visual signs that told her I was female and chose to ignore the voice apect , I'm inclined to think the latter from her reply .

[Stephanie47]

When I use the term "inner beauty" it refers to the positive perception a person (children included) has of their encounter with another person. I think children have the ability to gauge whether an adult is kind or a threat. I think the child was seeing past the clothes you were wearing and using her senses to gauge your humanity. I don't believe you confused her at all as to the voice issue. She was accepting of the person you were portraying which was yourself. Remember the choice of the descriptive verb she used. She makes rather than she is a lovely lady. The question I would have is whether the child was at ease with you. If you were en drab the child would probably gauge you as a lovely man. Isn't that the goal we should have? Forget whether the presentation is "spot on" or just accept the person for who he or she is? Or reject the person for who he or she is. I think your neighbor has gauged you in the same manner.

[Teresa]

Stephanie ,
The child was at ease with me as were her mother and grandmother , in fact they must have been Ok with my appearance before asking if the little girl could tallk to my dog . I can only assume thay have been watching me and formed an opinion before making the request .

I can't truthfully say if the comment read as my thread title or she did say ," Is a lovely lady !" That was my assumption because of my acceptance of not passing 100% .

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Teresa :hugs:, That was totally Priceless. >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[Bobbi46]

it just goes to show in two ways, one how far we have come and how the level of acceptance of us all is slowly rising, well done you.