Is it the Clothes or what you do while wearing them?

[Sarasometimes]

Up until about a year ago I found that getting fully dressed with makeup and hair and then going and doing something feminine like getting my hair and or nails done, shopping for women's clothes or accessories was what I needed. When I couldn't do this just wearing them around the house didn't do much for me. Then I found barre exercise classes. I go there in male but wearing plain women's leggings and a tank top and this has totally met my needs. I haven't tried it in men's clothes, but going dressed as I do, and then being accepted and able to do these ballet like exercises in a room full of women just makes it all wonderful.
Since finding barre I have had no desire to do the salon/shop/full presentation thing at all.

Just wondering your thoughts, be respectful.

[Micki_Finn]

Neither for me but, I’m more on the trans end of things so it’s just about being who I am and feeling like myself.

[Allisa]

It's both for me, when out in public I like to look like a woman from head to toe, well as much as I can anyway, so women's activities, hair, nails, clothes shopping only seems natural to me. At home maybe toned down a bit but still total femme in case I need to go run errands and I can feel comfy as myself and in presentation as such. I guess I'm one who is in for a penny in for a pound. I know you posted this for those CDer's who are on the fence about what they do but I felt chatty.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Sara,

It's probably both for me. I certainly love the clothes, accessories, makeup etc. but I also like going out and presenting to the world on the outside the same way I feel inside. I haven't been able to get out and about for a while so my opportunities to dress are restricted to home and that's less satisfying for me.

[Carolina]

I love both. Love dressing up and going out dressed to the nines (actually I’ve only gone out twice), but also love going to a salon, in drab, to do facials, mani pedi and leg waxing. I guess I like showing more and more to the outside world who I really am.

[Phoebe Reece]

I spent far too many years being all dressed up with no where to go. For the last fourteen years I only dress when I am going out. Going out may be going to dinner with friends, going to the movies, running simple errands like grocery shopping, or a million other simple things that are just more fun while presenting as a woman. I rarely dress unless it is for the entire day.

[kimdl93]

For the past three years I have been relatively limited in my opportunities to do anything other than dress at home. While I do enjoy getting dressed and made up, my excursions have been limited to the immediate neighborhood. This is a far cry from several years ago, when I was out quite openly doing everyday stuff. I miss being able to just go out and feel like a ‘normal’ person.

[Tracii G]

Its not about the clothes for me it shows the world who I am on the inside.
100% girl mode I love the best and feel the most comfy in because I feel normal or my body and mind actually match if that makes sense.

[Fran-K]

Hi
I find that the whole thing is what gives me satisfaction and pleasure
I love thinking about, planning, and getting dressed
I love going about my normal activities (paying bills, cooking, reading the paper) enfemme
I love the few girl things I’ve done
I love just underdressing, being in semi-girl mode, and full-girl mode
I love reading this forum:-)

Fran

[Helen_Highwater]

Sara,

Surely this is about a desire to present a public image of yourself? Many of us have felt the frustration of confinement within 4 walls. The barre classes are one more way of presenting your femme side in public. You're fulfilling the desire to be you. As it stands barre meets those needs. It's more intimate, you interact at a more personal level. Who knows how things may change. In time it may alter, even revert back or amalgamate the two. Time will tell.

[docrobbysherry]

Sara, I get to do what u do! Get dressed, hang around with GG's, and get treated like one by them AND the public!:battingeyelashes:

But, only around Halloween when my masks r completely accepted!:thumbsup:
Got to that at vanilla costume events last Fri. and Sat. nites with our GG friends!

Otherwise? My days of dressing at home for no reason except to "prance around" r WAY behind me!:heehee:

[Rissa_Bliss]

Foe me its just being dressed up as a girl that does it for me, i doesn't really matter what I do once I'm dressed up.

[DIANEF]

I have to fully dress, whether staying in or going out, anything less feels like half doing it. Why?, because it is just the way I am.

[Rachael Leigh]

I’m much like Miki too, my clothes don’t define me I’m just who I am and wear whatever I want even if I’m not fully en fem
Today at work in fact I’m wearing a women’s sweater and my ladies jeans jewlery makeup but no wig. I’m being myself
and for me it works

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sara :hugs:, It is absolutely both for me.>>>>>>>>>Orchid..+:daydreaming:+..

[Jaymees22]

I'm just as happy to be dressed at home. I have gone out and it felt good but not something I feel I need. I do go to a support group but that's only once a month. I'm kind of a homebody anyway so even as a male I'm not much of a social person.

[Patience]

Neither.

It's who I am while l'm wearing them.

[Beverley Sims]

It is how you conduct yourself.
With decorum and dignity.

[Majella St Gerard]

Getting dressed up and staying home does nothing for me, I'm out, so why stay in. Before I embraced my crossdressing, that was fine, I've moved on. I do like to listen to music and practice karaoke while playing dress up but I don't get all dolled up just to sit at home, like I said I've moved on from that. We are all different, so whatever works for you, go girl.

[t-girlxsophie]

I'm in the bit of both camp,for long enough I was content to sit at home dressed,always fully with wig,forms,makeup,making the occasional trip out dressed with friends,changing in a hotel before heading out.

But recently my confidence has grown so much and with my wifes blessing I love leaving from my flat dressed and taking public transport into town it's a really liberating feeling

Sophie

[DaisyLawrence]

I hear you Sara. I live my (non binary?) gender identity 24/7 so there is always a feminine/androgenous take on whatever I am wearing. This amounts to exclusively all womens clothes but not necessarily presenting as female, a bit like your barre classes. Most days this will be leggings with tunics or longline jumpers, dangly earings, headbands and longish hair, and that sort of thing. At home I have my favourate things for around the house, mostly denim skirts and jumper dresses, which are comfortable and give me a strong sense of woman. Most of the time this is enough but from time to time (anything from once a week to once every month) I suddenly have a 'need' for more and for the world to see me as a woman only and then I need the works, breast forms, makeup, usually a dress or skirt or sports skirt over leggings if in the outdoors. Most often this need would be fullfilled with a trip to an interesting town for shopping and lunch with my wife but more recently it has morphed into whatever we may have chosen to do on any other day such as hiking or cycling. However, for some reason I have to leave the house and mingle with the world, I need people to see the 'woman' in order to feel like one. I just can't be bothered with the extra detail if I am just hanging around the house, that's what onesies are for. :)

[phili]

Sara,
This is very interesting- I have a similar 'suddenly peaceful' feeling in a particular slinky women's top that looks somewhat like a slinky men's shirt to others, and lightweight pants or loose short shorts, bikini underwear, sandals. It just works [I'm in California! ] and has the benefit of not being complicated for others. But that personality is my daily work personality, and for me it is like an upwelling of need to be understood as sexy. That is when I crave the clothes that communicate that. I save the super VS look for home and am sorry i can't share it with my wife, but wearing a nice dress and heels out to the museum does the trick- as a dress is fundamentally a signal of feminine sexuality for me. I don't flirt or act provocatively- just the ordinary feminine sexuality is enough to deeply satisfy me.

[alwayshave]

Sara, I love dressing to the nines. Although I underdress, when at work, when free to dress, I dress.

[NancySue]

Thanks, Dianef, you said it perfectly for me. I used to get totally dressed, makeup, forms, etc. thinking I probably won’t go out, so I don’t put my wig on. Nah...after a first look in a mirror, all I can see is...unfinished I hurry to put one of my favorite wigs on. The next time I walk by the mirror, I smile and sometimes go out. It’s “all or nothing at all”. Yes, I do dress underneath..go figure.

[Teresa]

Sara,
I go out and do everything as Teresa , it's part of my life now . I do my own nails and care for my own hair , dressing full time means updating my wardrobe with the changing seasons along with general shopping .

Sherry,
I don't see it as prancing at home , those days are gone , I live alone and have a home to run , it now feels more natural to do it as Teresa , I do basic make up and my wig because that is how I wish to be seen, that also means if I have jobs to do in the garden or someone calls at my door .

[Asew]

I kind of find a similar thing. Now I kind of have a routine, working from home means a skirt, once a week at work in skirt and heels, and once a month a girlz night out where I go full femme. So I find that when I have the house all to myself, where as I used to always dress more femme and now the urge isn't really there since I have so many outlets and a routine, so I typically just wear what I was wearing already.

[sometimes_miss]

It's the clothes and the other female accoutrements, nail polish, jewelry, etc..
Most of what we do, is asexual behavior. Perhaps >90% of our daily routine gets done the same whether we are male or female. Wake up, turn off alarm, walk to bathroom, brush teeth, wash, dry, cook and then eat breakfast, walk to car, open car, drive car, etc..

[Piora]

I'm closeted, but it's both the clothes and how I feel about myself while wearing them.

[Taylor186]

I'm a basic crossdresser: it's about the clothes I enjoy wearing. I don't "feel" like a woman or femme or however you describe it and whatever that means even when fully dressed and made up. Out fully dressed feels more like a performance (drag) for me and, yes, I do it and enjoy it. Out to the healthclub in women's leggings/tights is more like non-binary male dressing, with the emphasis on male.

[Sarasometimes]

Thanks and as I expected the responses are across a wide spectrum just like the variations in gender identity and expression are. It does seem like my experience is less frequent in respect that i have gone from needing full presentation as female to being equally or maybe even a bit more content with a mix, as long as I have the feminine expression opportunity.

[toranna]

I do it and enjoy it.

[cd_hope]

Neither? I don't really do the whole 'outdoors' thing. Mostly I stay at home. The big difference is that I've gotten to the point where I can take pictures without being freaked out by the results so there's that. In plain form I avoid cameras like the plague.

Edit: I'm trying to look as 'real' as possible for whatever that's worth all there's just a little prep time. About the only going out I'd be interested in is Halloween, but I'm taking our toddler trick or treating and doubt mama would approve

[Trione]

It's the clothes for me, I have underdressed for over 30 years, because panties are lighter and a lot more comfortable. I could never pass at my age for more then one reason so I will be a MIAD. I have gone out a few times fully dressed over the years was more of a fun thing then anything else. Only about 10 or 12 folks know of my CDing, around the house I find dresses, skirts, and blouses more comfortable. As the weather gets cooler I do like my leggings. Wife got me into fine lingerie and on the night I wear anything to sleep in it is fine lingerie. We each enjoy how we dress for many differant reasons, so go with what works for you.

[Stephanie47]

I only dress when I have ample time to accomplish something. Years ago I had to 'grab crumbs of time' as I call it. I read of these limitations frequently on this forum. A quick twenty minute session while a wife is asleep and so on. I did that also many decades ago. Now, if I don't have a full day while my wife is a work, then I just don't bother. I only wear dresses. I call it the June Cleaver look. It's a pretty dress, bra, panty, slip, hosiery and heels with a wig. I forego the makeup as too time consuming. I do accomplish a lot when en femme. I do the washing and ironing, vacuuming, change bed linens, baking, meal preparation, doing the dishes. I do have the opportunity to relax and eat my breakfast and lunch. When warm I do drink my coffee and read in our backyard. I suppose some find being home en femme boring. However, if my wife is at work, then, whether en drab or en femme, it would not be right for me to just loll around and eat bon-bons. On the occasions I do go about town, it is in the evenings. It may be window shopping. Or returning books to the library. Getting one of those free newspapers. Or just strolling to enjoy the cool breeze caressing my legs and playing with the skirt of my dress and slip. Friday my wife will be working. I have plenty scheduled to do. My first activity will be to bake a nice banana bread and do the white laundry.

[Kimber]

Very similar for me too, when I dress at home, I feel a need to do household chores much more than in male mode. Also I like to read my magazines while having a coffee, just an affect which happens for me. love my Kim time.

Kimber..x