Is cross dressing really just sexual gratification?

[Mermaiden]

I was listening to a podcast by a transgender scientist (who was herself transgender) on the topic of vocabulary to avoid. “Transvestite” was admonished because it diminishes transgender identity to being only about sexual gratification. I was flabbergasted. Of course transgender is not synonomous with transvestism, but as a straight, male identity cross dresser, I don’t think I crossdress solely for sexual gratification. I’m not totally sure why I crossdress, but this scientist doesn’t understand me at all. Am I wrong about this?

[beckypanties]

You're not wrong. I don't dress from sexual gratification either. During my teenage years it was sexual, but then as a teen male just about everything was sexual ;) Those days are long gone. I dress because it makes me happy, nothing more, nothing less.

[Tracy Irving]

I can't even count the number of times I have not received sexual gratification from crossdressing.

[Tracii G]

Remember not all people that call themselves scientists are scientists.
Some just take research poles or survey a few hundred trans people and publish their findings because they received a grant from the federal government.(people too lazy to get a job and earn an honest living and just soak the government)
They may have a website with a fancy name or stationary with their name on it.Maybe even an office with their name on the window.LOLOL
In the end all they are publishing is their opinion and nothing of any value.

Any person that makes a statement in very black and white way has no idea what they are talking about.
We all know how diverse and how wide the gender spectrum is and know there are no absolutes when it comes to gender expression.
I never have dressed for sexual reasons so that throws their study out the window.
Don't listen to people like that because they don't know what they are talking about.

[Beverley Sims]

Not necessarily. for some it is the art of dressing up and passing yourself off as a woman.

There are many facets of dressing, some do it for a political statement because they probably don't h ve a car to post stickers on and advertise that way, others may have a wardrobe full of womens clothing they don't want to see go to waste.. :-)

My motto, wear it out first. :-)

[DIANEF]

The world is full of so called 'experts', a quick browse of the internet can arm you with 'knowledge' very quickly. As every crossdreser is different I wouldn't read too much into what you have seen. On a personal level sex had nothing to do with my dressing from my mid teens.

[Sami Brown]

I don't crossdress for that reason. I'm sure some do, but there are several here who have said they don't.

I think words like "always" or "only" are red flags. I think life is a lot more nuanced.

Sami

[ElianaFrozenflame]

Perhaps, not a direct answer to the question, but ferrets out deeper discussion:


But in truth, cross-dressing is grounded in a highly logical and universal desire: the wish to be, for a time, the gender one admires, is excited by – and perhaps loves. Dressing like a woman is merely a dramatic, yet essentially reasonable, way of getting closer to the experiences of the sex one is profoundly curious about – and yet has been (somewhat arbitrarily) barred from. We know cross-dressing well enough in other areas of life and there think nothing of it. A five-year-old boy living in a suburb of Copenhagen who develops an interest in the lifestyle and attitudes of the cow herders of the Arizona plains would be heartily encouraged to dress up in a hat, jeans and waistcoat and aim his pistol at an imaginary Indian chief – so as to assuage his desire to get a little closer to the subject of his fascination.

We should accept that the adult cross-dresser is no different. He too wants to inhabit the experiences of a group of people he is keen on. He seeks to know what it would be like to cross his legs in a tight cocktail dress, to walk across a marble floor in a pair of heels, to feel a grey cotton bra strap encasing his back, to put a little silver bracelet around his wrist, to feel the breeze on his bare waxed arms and to stroke his smooth long legs in the bath. He might extend to imagining what it would be like to kiss a man as a woman, to feel bristles that are normally his on lips as soft as those of the lovers he has known. Admiring himself in the mirror in a pair of black tights, the cross dresser samples the intense, fascinating satisfaction of being simultaneously himself and the object of his desire.
From "The Book of Life" https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-psychology-of-cross-dressing/

Personally, I think "The Book of Life" is over-sexed, but the observations here made about crossdressing, I found to be rather profound.

[Michaelasfun]

You're not wrong. I don't dress from sexual gratification either. During my teenage years it was sexual, but then as a teen male just about everything was sexual ;) Those days are long gone. I dress because it makes me happy, nothing more, nothing less.

Me too. I have exuberance start to finish whenever I dress.

[Chelsea B]

I’m not sure what issue is being taken with this person. The use of the word Transvestite does indeed historically imply a sexual motive, which is why they are cautioning against its use, correctly implying that many or most of us don’t have a sexual motive for our dressing.
What am I missing. Sounds like this got misinterpreted.

[Darling Micki]

I was listening to a podcast by a transgender scientist (who was herself transgender) on the topic of vocabulary to avoid. “Transvestite” was admonished because it diminishes transgender identity to being only about sexual gratification.

The word "Transvestite" tends to have a negative SOCIETAL definition of "a sexual deviant male that wears women's clothing."

It doesn't actually mean that of course. Just how many in society have viewed the term.

How many in society think the wrong things if I said I was feeling gay, sitting next to a fire watching a faggot burn.*GASP*

I actually really do enjoy watching a bundle of twigs burn. Very calming and soothing, especially in anticipation of marshmallows.

While technically transvestite means the same thing as crossdresser. Crossdresser seems to be more socially acceptable.

I noticed that the podcast scientist chastised about using the word "Transvestite", but every single thread reply used the word crossdresser.

Leaves one to think that even here some view transvestite unfavorably.

I am a crossdresser. I started with some of my mother's exercise wear when I was a toung teenager. Yes the taboo nature of the act did give me a sexual thrill. But I have long since out grown that. Most of the time I identify as a heterosexual male. I enjoy the comfort of a lot of different pieces of what society deems to be women's clothing. I also enjoy the illusion of femininity I can present.

With all things, like you, I have specific personal reasons for why I do the things I do. Seldom are those reasons for "Sexual Gratification", unless they include a cisgender female sharing a bed with me.

Understanding things the way I do. I would prefer to be identified as a crossdresser, instead of a transvestite. Bowing to the whims of society.

[cd_hope]

Re: the title, not for me. It's more of an escape from daily life like others get from going to the movies, but also it's a huge challenge. Anyone can go put on a skirt, but really looking the part to me is the real prize.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Marmaid

For myself no, I guess for a fetishist it would be.

Who was the scientist ?

[Queen Bridget]

Everyone has their own reasons I suppose.

[Kiwi Primrose]

I have crossdressed in some form or other for over 70 years and I know that for me it is not for sexual gratification. I never needed cross-dressing to bring on the sexual urge and now that the sexual urges have diminished my love of crossdressing hasn't.

[Maria in heels]

I also agree that many of us "used" to dress for sexual gratification to some extent in the earlier parts of our lives. I dress as Maria, because as I explain to my wife, is part of my persona and being...she plays an integral part of my personality, and is the person to thank for the warmness, kind hearted and happy person that I have become over the years. Now its just being Maria ....

[Jaymees22]

You're not wrong. I don't dress from sexual gratification either. During my teenage years it was sexual, but then as a teen male just about everything was sexual ;) Those days are long gone. I dress because it makes me happy, nothing more, nothing less.
Just what I wanted to say.

[Robertacd]

There have been many times that I wished it was just a sexual gratification thing...

[docrobbysherry]

Awesome post, Eliana. That I identify with completely!:thumbsup:

Dressing has always been about sex for me. It was when I began 20+ years ago and it still is now at age 75!:o

However, in the last 10 years it's become SO MUCH MORE!:devil:

[IleneD]

yes. next question?

[HollyGreene]

I've called myself a transvestite for years. Crossdresser is a much more recent addition to my vocabulary. Nothing to do with sexual gratification. Just about wearing the clothes that I want to look like like a woman.

[Charlotte7]

I've said before that there are probably as many reasons as to why people cross dress as there are people who cross dress. For some sexual gratification will play a part, for others, not at all. As was said at #4:


...Any person that makes a statement in very black and white way has no idea what they are talking about...Don't listen to people like that because they don't know what they are talking about.

Wise words indeed.

[Andrea2656]

Remember not all people that call themselves scientists are scientists.
Some just take research poles or survey a few hundred trans people and publish their findings because they received a grant from the federal government.(people too lazy to get a job and earn an honest living and just soak the government)
.

I am a senior physician scientist and I want to take strong objection to you characterization of scientists as people too lazy to get a job so they get a Federal grant.

Most scientists who get Ferderal grants have about 12 years of training after college (completing PhDs and post-doctoral fellowship). They are in general whip smart. Even with that, the typical pay line for Federal grants is 7-9%. That means 91-93% of all grants submitted for funding are rejected from some of the smartest people in the United States. Being a scientist today is a difficult and grueling undertaking. Most scientists can earn more and work less if they worked for industry. Scientists who depend on Federal grants to fund there research are the people who have created new life saving medicines, the new knowledge to help us live better. Please do not disparage scientists as lazy loafers living off the government. It is inappropriate.

Andrea

[Bruce64]

This is an interesting discussion, so I shaved my legs is that for sexual gratification also for mr personally it's a feeling of gratification and not just for sex. Strangely the Scientist is a Trans.

[LaurenS]

Well said, Andrea!

[Bobbi46]

I don't think so maybe for some as they start out on their journey of discovery but for the most part it is an inner feeling of want and need to be as feminine as possible and to be happy doing that. sexual gratification never came into the equation for me, for me it was a case of "The Eagle has landed" I found where I was meant to be.

[GretchenM]

I am very well versed in the technical literature regarding transgenderism and transexualism, but I am no expert. According to the literature (peer reviewed papers in journals) it is fairly common in the early years of the development of a transgender behavior, personality and identity for sexual gratification from crossdressing being a part of it. However, this is not true of everyone. As the person matures that usually declines to zero or nearly so. It appears that crossdressing can stimulate the sex drive part of the brain stem as well as other sex related structures that are associated with those portions of our brain that creates our sense of identity and gender. That can be sexually exciting. The taboo factor also plays into this psychology. For a few it continues and usually in those who do not actually fit the transgender profile. In spite of the general pattern found in the population, that pattern is composed of a wide range of behaviors. The general pattern is an average of a highly variable, individualized population. Averages are most meaningful when combined with the variance in the population from which the average is derived. Low variance can produce the same average as high variance. Thus the diversity in the population is obscured by the use of only the average.

I think the responses here tend to reflect what the science has found. Transvestite really only means dressing in the clothes of the opposite gender, but the social interpretations was what got the traction. Calling a crossdresser or transgender person who dresses a transvestite is socially about the same as calling a transwoman a tranny. It is usually viewed as a derogatory expression. Not polite, offensive and disrespectful. But the main point is that the responses here pretty closely reflect what the science has found to be the reality - it varies with the individual, but the sexual element is not unusual or worrisome unless it becomes an addiction.

[Teresa]

Mermaiden,
Transvetsite is just the act of crossdressing they are the same thing , it just means literally to cross clothes of the opposite gender. No mention of a sexual component . The act of crossdressing could be motivated by sexual needs , as it was in my case but in the early days there was no thought or connections with the transgender issue . There is no connection in a sexual way . A TG more likely has a degree of GD but that is not related to sexual needs but to gender alignment .

All of of us the TG spectrum are crossdressers , because it's the simple act of wearing items of clothing from the opposite gender . The line is then drawn when someone transitions , they are then wearing clothes of their reassigned gender .

I must admit now I dress and go out full time it doesn't feel like crossdressing , as Eddie Izzard said , "they are my clothes !"

Going back the podcast it's again the case of the misuse of labels , I agree the person concerned because of their history should have known better

[Ressie]

I'm a transvestite. I might as well just admit that I dress primarily for sexual reasons. But I seem to be in the minority here.

I think the OP should have given the name of the person in the podcast or some reference to the podcast. There are different types of psychology and much has changed in the last 50 years. Without a reference this is just hearsay.

[Kas]

Transvetsite is just the act of crossdressing they are the same thing , it just means literally to cross clothes of the opposite gender.

Teresa,

This is wrong. Transvestisism is different than crossdressing.

"Magnus Hirschfeld coined the word transvestite in 1910 (from Latin trans-, "across, over" and vestitus, "dressed") to refer to the sexual interest in cross-dressing."

[Lacey New]

I think the answer depends completely upon the person answering. For some, yes, cross dressing leads to sexual gratification. I confess, that’s how I started many years ago and it still provides that pleasure from time to time. For others, it may be more of a comfortable identity as opposed to being sexual or erotic. All depends in the person.

[Helen_Highwater]

Elana,

The text you quote;

We should accept that the adult cross-dresser is no different. He too wants to inhabit the experiences of a group of people he is keen on. He seeks to know what it would be like to cross his legs in a tight cocktail dress, to walk across a marble floor in a pair of heels, to feel a grey cotton bra strap encasing his back, to put a little silver bracelet around his wrist, to feel the breeze on his bare waxed arms and to stroke his smooth long legs in the bath. He might extend to imagining what it would be like to kiss a man as a woman, to feel bristles that are normally his on lips as soft as those of the lovers he has known. Admiring himself in the mirror in a pair of black tights, the cross dresser samples the intense, fascinating satisfaction of being simultaneously himself and the object of his desire.

I think there's much to be said for those words as observations. many do dream and aspire to experience those things. I think the comparison;

A five-year-old boy living in a suburb of Copenhagen who develops an interest in the lifestyle and attitudes of the cow herders of the Arizona plains would be heartily encouraged to dress up in a hat, jeans and waistcoat and aim his pistol at an imaginary Indian chief – so as to assuage his desire to get a little closer to the subject of his fascination.

fails to consider the imaginings of a child being equal to the emotions of more mature individuals.

Where I differ from the author is in the conclusions. One big difference from that is many achieve those desires unlike the schoolboy with a toy pistol. One is a world of pure imagination. The other can be a deeply felt desire to express feelings that have been with them for years, even from the time when they played with toy pistols. That said, I will admit there's a certain resonance to the sentence; "the cross dresser samples the intense, fascinating satisfaction of being simultaneously himself and the object of his desire.

[Taylor186]

Anyone have a link to the podcast?

[Stacy Darling]

Crossdressing and sexual gratification are more at one than many see!

I'm pleasing myself by Dressing! , Yet not doing it for the sexual pleasure! ; The sexual pleasure may then arise though?

Stacy!

[Teresa]

Mermaiden,
Transvetsite is just the act of crossdressing they are the same thing , it just means literally to cross clothes of the opposite gender. No mention of a sexual component . The act of crossdressing could be motivated by sexual needs , as it was in my case but in the early days there was no thought or connections with the transgender issue . There is no connection in a sexual way . A TG more likely has a degree of GD but that is not related to sexual needs but to gender alignment .

All of of us the TG spectrum are crossdressers , because it's the simple act of wearing items of clothing from the opposite gender . The line is then drawn when someone transitions , they are then wearing clothes of their reassigned gender .

I must admit now I dress and go out full time it doesn't feel like crossdressing , as Eddie Izzard said , "they are my clothes !"

Going back the podcast it's again the case of the misuse of labels , I agree the person concerned because of their history should have known better

[Micki_Finn]

I’m not sure what issue is being taken with this person. The use of the word Transvestite does indeed historically imply a sexual motive, which is why they are cautioning against its use, correctly implying that many or most of us don’t have a sexual motive for our dressing.
What am I missing. Sounds like this got misinterpreted.


This. The person seemed to be agreeing with you. What’s the problem? Unless you use the term Transvestite and feel that her definition doesn’t apply to you?

[ElianaFrozenflame]

Hi Helen,



I think there's much to be said for those words as observations. many do dream and aspire to experience those things. I think the comparison;

A five-year-old boy living in a suburb of Copenhagen who develops an interest in the lifestyle and attitudes of the cow herders of the Arizona plains would be heartily encouraged to dress up in a hat, jeans and waistcoat and aim his pistol at an imaginary Indian chief – so as to assuage his desire to get a little closer to the subject of his fascination.

fails to consider the imaginings of a child being equal to the emotions of more mature individuals.


Yes it does, but it resonates with me. The first time I crossdressed, was when I was 4 (or maybe even at 3). I was never sexually abused, nor was the crossdressing something compulsed upon me. There was a neighbor boy, pretty close to my age, who had many older sisters. There was a cardboard box full of frilly dresses in his basement, and I went over to play dressup with the neighbor boy and his sisters. It had felt so I right, I snuck in my parent's bedroom and snatched one of my mother's dresses. I was hooked.

Only after hitting puberty did I (accidently) find sexual pleasure wearing the clothes. I am sure that played a role in reinforcing my earlier fascination with crossdressing at later ages. How much, seems really difficult, if not impossible to say.

Like I had mentioned before, I think "The Book of Life" from where the original quote came from is over-sexed (there is another page in that book that compares masturbation with art). So I didn't care for nearly half of the text on crossdressing. If that page drew any conclusions at all, they flew by me, the part I quoted is the only part that caught my attention.

- Eliana

[t-girlxsophie]

When they eye up the grant offered,everyone suddenly becomes an expert.

Sophie

[Tracii G]

Andrea what I stated you may have missed "not all people that call themselves scientists ARE scientists".
I was not calling ALL scientists lazy Federal grant money grabbing people.
You have to admit the Federal government has some grant money that goes to some really sketchy studies.
One close friend of mine that is a climatologist and he gets offers all the time which he doesn't feel are worthy and more often than not the dept wanting the statistics says his findings need to match their model. So what does that tell you?
He works for an energy company BTW and is a real scientist.

[Gillian Gigs]

People evolve over the years, hopefully in character, as well as in growing old. For myself, I started out in the sexual gratification mode and it has evolved into something different today. That was good for me. One of the many problems with people is that they tend to put people into boxes and never let them out of that box. People change and when someone leaves someone in "the box", they never see the changes that happen to the person. If we as a particular group have a difficult time letting people get out of their boxes, then what hope is there for society as a whole? Another problem is that people tend to think that everyone is thinking just like they do. I have a hard enough time trying to understand me, let alone others. Why do I crossdress now, well I am still figuring that one out. It would make great sense to not to do it from community acceptance point of view, but why should I conform to something I am not sure I necessarily believe in. Conformity isn't all that it is cracked up to be. If I have a difficult time understanding me, then how can you expect me to understand someone who wants to go the whole nine yards. But that is not the point! I accept you, so please accept me. Where ever you started out is one thing, where you end up may be another. Self acceptance and acceptance from within this group should be the goal, whether it happens within society is another question.

[Stephanie47]

What the heck is a "transgender scientist?" And a linguist too boot! I don't know the age of this scientist. I've started my eighth decade on this planet. Back in the day (1950's and 1960's) the only term I heard describing a male who wore women's clothing was 'transvestite.' A male who transformed surgically to a female was a 'transsexual.' Christine Jorgensen comes to mind. I do not recall ever hearing the word 'transgender' back then or into the 1970's or 1980's. I do not recall anything at all back then ascribing sexual gratification to the word 'transvestite.' I do not hear 'transvestite' being thrown around these days. The word seems to have fallen out of favor for describing men who wear women's clothing. 'Cross dresser' seems to be the descriptive word. Not having heard the pod cast I guess the 'scientist' may have elaborated on choice of words.

Anyway, yes, in my teen years there was some degree of self pleasing done wearing women's clothing. And, there was a lot more self gratification not wearing women's clothing. From what I have read on the issue of male self gratification men still indulgence in self gratification even if they have a sexual partner. Of course I had to "Google" the subject and did find an internet article indicating a MtF cross dresser can hide his 'junk' more easily after he masturbates. Duh!

Anyway, personally my innate desire to emulate a woman has nothing to do with sexual gratification. I also think the 'scientist' possibly arrived at her conclusions using faulty methodology. Who did she ask to arrive at such a conclusion?

[Anne E]

I haven’t cross dressed in a week or so because I’ve been feeling under the weather and I just didn’t feel pretty. But today I just wanted to. Oh, this feels so good. I look like ick, with bags under my eyes and stubble on my boobs, but I’m wearing my heels and my little black dress and it feels right. It feels right to be tucked away and filling out my clothes. Sliding on my pantyhose over my smooth legs feels right and the tug of my bra straps feels right and it feels right to smile with lipstick on. I’m not going anywhere in this dress and I don’t feel sexual at all, but I feel better and when I look in the mirror I see what I look like when somebody is being kind to me. I see me and I see kindness.

Anne

[Patience]

No.

I wanted my answer to be a plain "no", but this forum's software requires a minimum of 8 characters, so here we are. Sorry to have forced you to read this.

[GracieRose]

Interesting discussion.

I never thought that the term 'transgender' referenced a component of sexual gratification. I always thought of the literal translation from Latin.
As far as the question in the OP headline. At 5 years old, when I first realized that I wanted to do the things that girls got to do, including, and especially, wearing the pretty things, I had no clue about sex, much less gratification.

Ellanna,
Your quote in post 8 is certainly interesting. Some food for thought. My first reaction is that I started this journey wanting to do the things that girls did, not just wearing the clothes. But that could be interpreted as wanting to "to inhabit the experiences of a group of people he is keen on." Maybe there is something there. However, that doesn't explain why it just feels right when I am dressed and doesn't feel right when I'm in drab. Or why when I look in the mirror in drab, I feel that I'm looking at someone else, but when I'm dressed, I see a match to how I feel inside. I'll have to think about this a little more. That's enough self-psychoanalysis for now.

[Rachel05]

Definitely nothing to do with sexual gratification for me, when I was in my early teens I tried to convince myself that was what it was all about because I was confused by who I was and sadly there was no forums back in them days, but it has never been about that

I still don't understand what I crossdress but neither do I need to, I accepted long ago it was a part of who I am and I love cross dressing, I love my nice female clothes and how they make me feel

I am perfectly happy being the me that I am, which is a very different me to the me when I started cross dressing 50 years ago, although back in them days I hadn't even heard the phrase cross dressing

[Devi SM]

Today, after 6 months on HRT, to dress has nothing to do with sexuality but not always was in that way.
Now I understand that in my case, the search for a femenine identity, to dress wasn't enough and sexual was a huge component, no just own sexual gratification but wit men.
Now in transition, my gender has no relation with my sexual activity.
I wonder how many crossdressers could live the same experience as me.
It can't be a rule because the different colors in a rainbow represent very well the variety of human beings in sexual preferences and gender identities.

[stephNE]

For me it has nothing to do with sexual gratification. I first dressed when I was about 5. It has always been about an inner feeling that as a male, things weren't right. But as a woman, I have a feeling of inner peace, relaxed, and less stress. One of you mentioned dressing as an escape. Yes, I feel that too. I know that if I had been born a woman, I would be a happier person. My wife would agree. She recently told me that she wasn't surprised that so many others accept me as a woman, but that she is surprise how comfortable I am when we are out and about.

[Confucius]

To say crossdressing is just about sexual gratification is the same as calling it a fetish.
I know there are sexual elements in crossdressing. However, I was crossdressing as a 3 yr old, and thought it was only fun. It had nothing to do with sexual arousal then. Crossdressing during puberty was sexually arousing, but I also considered the arousal part as unwanted. Even during puberty I made a conscious effort not to get aroused. I wanted to look like a pretty girl because I thought girls were wonderful, and for a few moments I could imagine being a girl.
As I've grown older crossdressing is simply about reducing stress and being happy.

[Shawna]

Perhaps, not a direct answer to the question, but ferrets out deeper discussion:


From "The Book of Life" https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-psychology-of-cross-dressing/

Personally, I think "The Book of Life" is over-sexed, but the observations here made about crossdressing, I found to be rather profound.

I can certainly relate to a lot of what was stated here...thank you for sharing!

- - - Updated - - -


... I’m not going anywhere in this dress and I don’t feel sexual at all, but I feel better and when I look in the mirror I see what I look like when somebody is being kind to me. I see me and I see kindness.

Anne

Beautiful sentiment, Anne!

[Laurie A]

(As I have always thought of it) Crossdressing for sexual gratification is transvestic fetishism. What I don't understand is why this should be considered a psychiatric disorder, or (sometimes) dismissed by others who exist along the lgbtq spectrum. Its just a behavior, that sometimes is a precursor, and sometimes not. Some folks evolve past it and some don't.

For me it was the beginning of a journey. I've moved past it, but with no regrets or shame.

There are no one size fits all labels, which is partly why I think labels they are troubling.

We're all wonderful curious, strange, strong and amazing people let's just breathe, relax and enjoy each other.

[Elizabeth G]

Back in my oh so distant youth, when everything in life was sexual in some way or another, my dressing certainly had its sexual aspects. Those days are long past and dressing has not been sexual for me in decades.

[Panties4me]

I myself call me a "crossdresser ". Having stated that, underdressing is my thing, and has been as far back as my memory takes me. Sure it was sexual, even as a 4 year old, many experiences of "dry comming" before pubity hit. Now 60 years later, I don't always masterbate when dressed, which is just as well because I'm underdressed 24/7, but every time I masterbate, I'm dressed.

[Mermaiden]

I really appreciate everyone’s responses. Thanks. The Podcast is called “The Transgender Scientist” I was listening to an episode dated July 26 2018. the podcaster gives her name as Dana Bevan. She seems legit to me and was endeavoring to avoid offending anyone.
I learned in school that transvestism equates to the common term “cross dressing”, but can see how transvestism connotes an element of sexuality. I’m thinking of Rocky Horror Picture Show.
The threads got off track discussing the funding of science. This is an important question but belongs elsewhere.
It really means a lot to me that other people out there are like me and can share this part of my life.
So, thanks again.

[Sallee]

Right on Sherry. and there is nothing wrong with sexual gratification It is also FUN and all that goes with it

[Vicky Peters]

I don't debate labels, I dress in womens cloths, a crossdresser, for sexual gratification from an early age until now. I enjoy every minute.

[JayeDee]

Crossdressing, for me, is definitely a turn-on, however it's even better than a sexual romp. It has become a motivating lifestyle for me. When I got into my first men's thong a few years ago, I realized that I needed to lose some weight so that it "looked good" on me, with no overhanging abs, sides, etc. Since then I've lost 15 - 20 pounds. Crossdressing has become my motivation to look as good as possible in tight, slinky women's clothing. Thanks, Girls.

[Olivia_laurentitis]

I believe there is science behind cross dressing, arousal and sexual gratification. It's called "Transvestic fetishism" and there are 2 key criteria for this before a psychiatric diagnosis of "transvestic fetishism" is made

1.Individuals must be sexually aroused by the act of cross-dressing.

2.Individuals must experience significant distress or impairment – socially or occupationally – because of their behavior.

Like most CD's, we start early in life with Mom's or Sis's panties and there is a chemical response in the brain. A pleasure response. As we get older and older and go through puberty, then we need to push our dressing to higher levels to get that same pleasure response. Plus, we are having all these changes going on in our young bodies. Hormones, growth spurts, arousals, etc. etc. So we go from Mom's or Sis's panties to her bra's and stockings. Then to her dresses and heels and then her makeup and jewelry. This all happens at different ages and stages for each of us, depending, on each of our unique situations. We start taking photos and dressing all the way, maybe just staying in the house, but that's what it takes to get that pleasure response. Finally, even dressing up at home isn't enough to get that pleasure response , so we start venturing out in public, wanting to be seen by other people, engaging in conversation with folks and all the time working on our appearance. Trying to look better, and being accepted by others. Especially other GG's. As we get much older, our testosterone declines, maybe our libido is pretty much non-existant, so we don't dress up much at all. Maybe months or years, but when we do there is that same sort of arousal from many years before. Now , I know that this is not the situation for all CD's because we all have unique situations. Some of us our married, have children, keep it a secret from one and all.. Others of us are single, never married, no children, not in the closet about it. So it's a different situation for everyone, but quite similar for a lot of us.

[Kimber]

Sexual gratification, I would say so when a lot younger, though depending on what I am wearing I can feel pretty sexy, aroused on occation even, but it runs a lot deeper for me. The emotional relief it brings me and to stand in front of the mirror and see a beautiful reflection...well in my mind anyway :)

Kimber...x

[Leonora]

It was for me at first and I guess just like a taboo I guess but the more I did it just the more comfortable with it. Now just do because I like to.

[Alisonforme]

Since I don't get to dress very often, when I do I usually can't help but get excited. But when I get to dress more frequently, then it's less about that and more just enjoying my femme.

[Georgina]

I don't get excited when I dress but I get a feeling that life is ok after all.

[Stacy Darling]

Or are we not seeing that we beautify the whole world when we present!!!

I'm happily sharing my beauty with the world whilst out, yet when behind closed doors I'm totally into myself ( I LOVE MYSELF!) and accept that!

Is it about Sexual Gratification? Depends on our Honesty!

Stacy!

[Michelle Vinova]

I believe there is science behind cross dressing, arousal and sexual gratification. It's called "Transvestic fetishism" and there are 2 key criteria for this before a psychiatric diagnosis of "transvestic fetishism" is made

1.Individuals must be sexually aroused by the act of cross-dressing.

2.Individuals must experience significant distress or impairment – socially or occupationally – because of their behavior.

Like most CD's, we start early in life with Mom's or Sis's panties and there is a chemical response in the brain. A pleasure response. As we get older and older and go through puberty, then we need to push our dressing to higher levels to get that same pleasure response. Plus, we are having all these changes going on in our young bodies. Hormones, growth spurts, arousals, etc. etc. So we go from Mom's or Sis's panties to her bra's and stockings. Then to her dresses and heels and then her makeup and jewelry. This all happens at different ages and stages for each of us, depending, on each of our unique situations. We start taking photos and dressing all the way, maybe just staying in the house, but that's what it takes to get that pleasure response. Finally, even dressing up at home isn't enough to get that pleasure response , so we start venturing out in public, wanting to be seen by other people, engaging in conversation with folks and all the time working on our appearance. Trying to look better, and being accepted by others. Especially other GG's. As we get much older, our testosterone declines, maybe our libido is pretty much non-existant, so we don't dress up much at all. Maybe months or years, but when we do there is that same sort of arousal from many years before. Now , I know that this is not the situation for all CD's because we all have unique situations. Some of us our married, have children, keep it a secret from one and all.. Others of us are single, never married, no children, not in the closet about it. So it's a different situation for everyone, but quite similar for a lot of us.


Wow, Olivia, your summary is spot of for my CD life!

[MiniRock]

Crossdressing has become my motivation to look as good as possible in tight, slinky women's clothing. Thanks, Girls.

Yes, for me at 55, it's sexual. And a motivation to keep in shape.

[drewcilla]

I'm just a sweet transvestite ...ok, if you didn't get that maybe you weren't thinking about the south park bundle of sticks episode while reading Micki's post. But seriously, I have a bachelor in science of mathematics so using universal quantification such as only is incorrect. My scientific side always does the research and found that the definition of transvestite says someone who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes primarily associated with the other sex. Therefore, the actual definition has nothing to do with sexual gratification and could be associated with any type of pleasure which is what my crossdressing has evolved into just throwing on some heels and a dress and watching tv. QED Ok, I'm done with my math nerdom and my point is don't take life too seriously you'll never get out alive. I said screw it this year and I shave my legs everyday while I wear guys shorts and I dont care who notices. Love reading all your posts it is encouraging.

[Wildaboutheels]

Not only is this simply Basic Math, it's basic Addition and nothing more..

Are Os addictive? Or fun? Or cost free? Is the "drive"for an O simply to try to produce offspring and carry on the bloodline? Os by men AND a receptive fertile female ARE the only thing keeping Humans way more than spreading like wildfire on the planet right now.

If a guy "gets in the mood" and does not have an available partner?

He will have to "improvise".

Who does anyone think is buying all these giant high heeled shoes?

[Mary Lawrence]

Here is what the latest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) says (according to Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia)):

The DSM-5 acknowledges that many dozens of paraphilias exist, but only has specific listings for eight that are forensically important and relatively common. These are voyeuristic disorder, exhibitionistic disorder, frotteuristic disorder, sexual masochism disorder, sexual sadism disorder, pedophilic disorder, fetishistic disorder, and transvestic disorder. You should also know that, beginning with DSM-4, A "man cannot be classified as a transvestite—however much he cross-dresses and however sexually exciting that is to him—unless he is unhappy about this activity or impaired by it." In other words, crossdressing is no longer considered a "disorder" for most posters here at Crossdressers.com.

[Veronica4me]

I was listening to a podcast by a transgender scientist (who was herself transgender) on the topic of vocabulary to avoid. “Transvestite” was admonished because it diminishes transgender identity to being only about sexual gratification. I was flabbergasted. Of course transgender is not synonymous with transvestism, but as a straight, male identity cross dresser, I don’t think I crossdress solely for sexual gratification. I’m not totally sure why I crossdress, but this scientist doesn’t understand me at all. Am I wrong about this?

Hi, Mermaiden,

You are not wrong. How did you stumble on to this self-proclaimed transgender “scientist?” Saying that a “transvestite” is only motivated for sexual reasons is absurd. I’d love to see the “scientific” research supporting that statement. Just because she transitioned from being a man only gives her the right to give her opinion without claiming expertise.

Describing crossdressers, transvestites, and transgenders cannot be fit into a box (unless it's a really, really BIG one). We all were drawn to being en femme for a multitude of reasons, and we all have varying degrees of dressing in our lives, expression (including sexuality), openness (publicly), and evolution in our “cross dressing” lives.

[CDYoga]

I wear women's clothing all the time because I like the way it looks on me & I like the style...

[docrobbysherry]

Hi, Mermaiden,

You are not wrong. How did you stumble on to this self-proclaimed transgender “scientist?” Saying that a “transvestite” is only motivated for sexual reasons is absurd. I’d love to see the “scientific” research supporting that statement. Just because she transitioned from being a man only gives her the right to give her opinion without claiming expertise.

Describing crossdressers, transvestites, and transgenders cannot be fit into a box (unless it's a really, really BIG one). We all were drawn to being en femme for a multitude of reasons, and we all have varying degrees of dressing in our lives, expression (including sexuality), openness (publicly), and evolution in our “cross dressing” lives.
U said what I WISH I'd said, Roni! Concise and to the point!:thumbsup:

[MarinaTwelve200]

Yes, it is Sexually gratifying---An aid to masturbation. But it is also VERY relaxing and De-stressing. Also it is FUN to be "Pretty".---------I enjoy all these aspects when I get my CD "FIX".

[SaraLin]

If cross dressing is just sexual gratification, then I guess the following are true:

Eating is just about gaining nutrition for the body (tell that to your SO the next time she asks "how was dinner")

Sex is just about procreation of the species. (If you're not trying to make babies, don't do it?)

Jobs are just about making money. (there are people that feel that way, but I always enjoyed mine and felt I was contributing to the world)

Oh - and <gender appropriate> clothing is just about protection from the weather (disregard the billions spent on fashion every year)


C'mon. Real life is nowhere near that simplistic.

[novastar]

Im too new to this to really answer. I enjoy feeling feminine and being told im pretty. I dress for my bf. It gives me a strong mental rush.

[phili]

For maybe 60 years crossdressing was sexual because it was only sexual- stolen moments alone which I tried to pack value into and then conclude by orgasm. Classic look of a fetish dresser- but internally it never satisfied, and I could tell I identified with women deeply.

The last few years when I have much more occasions to dress, gone out, and have refined my wardrobe, I see that clothes are sexual when I am feeling sexy and aroused, and are just my preferred comfy clothes when I am not feeling aroused.

I finally realized I was TG in a mixed gender way.

[DeniseK67]

When I dress up it makes me feel like a woman and this in turn causes intense feelings within me of wanting to be with a man. This has always been confusing because I think of myself as a crossdresser, but the feelings of wanting to be with a man makes me think I am transgendered.

When I am not occasionally dressing as a woman, I of course wear men's clothes, but I have absolutely no interest in being with a man. It is only when I dress as a women, do I think about being with men.

So confusing to me.

[laura.lapinski]

When I dress up it makes me feel like a woman and this in turn causes intense feelings within me of wanting to be with a man. This has always been confusing because I think of myself as a crossdresser, but the feelings of wanting to be with a man makes me think I am transgendered.

When I am not occasionally dressing as a woman, I of course wear men's clothes, but I have absolutely no interest in being with a man. It is only when I dress as a women, do I think about being with men.

So confusing to me.

Denise, a lot of us on here are just like you, and there are many others who believe what we say is true, but find it hard to understand it at the same time. I would just say, don't get too caught up in trying to understand it. I'm sure there are many reasons for this type of thinking and behavior and I have my theories, which I believe I have expressed on this site but are probably so well buried they would be hard to find.