My wife doesn't tolerate my crossdressing

[Macey]

A little background. I’m in my forties and have never had a strong desire to crossdress. I’m a man, but have never been afraid of my feminine side, never afraid of sensitivity, never bothered by how other people define gender roles or what have you. Most importantly, I truly like ‘me’ in all of my stages of life. Still do. All of my masculinity, femininity, and all manner in between.

I don’t have the faintest idea why, but about six months ago I was hit with the strong desire to crossdress. Stresses of life? Not allowing enough of my inner femininity to show? Who knows.

So, one day, I happened upon a discarded blouse from my wife and put it on. My entertained thoughts were now manifesting and I loved it. I tucked it away back in a drawer and carried on. I’d put it on when she wasn’t home and just felt so good while getting some chores done.
About a month later, she spotted it tucked away in my drawer and when I came home from work, she nervously sat me down for a serious conversation.
I realized fairly quickly these things:

My wife doesn’t ‘tolerate’ my crossdressing.
My wife doesn’t ‘accept’ my crossdressing.
Rather … my wife EMBRACES my crossdressing.

We’ve always been honest and loving and supportive of one another, and yet I knew this might be troubling. I hadn’t hidden the blouse to ‘hide’ anything, more that I was trying to figure it all out myself. Well, now we were figuring it out together.

Since then, it was her that brought up shaving my armpits, getting a wig (though, my hair is long and we both prefer it to the wig … the wig is just fun). It was her that bought me some perfume, helped me choose more clothes and buy them for me. It was her that suggested make up (though I had already been thinking on it).

I was the one who started crossdressing. She’s the one that has encouraged and helped me get this far!

One day, about a month into it, she sat me down for another serious discussion. In these sorts of discussions, we get so excited that often the phrase “wait, let me finish” is heard as we are desperate for each others’ thoughts. She seriously asked me if I wanted to transition and that she loves me always in all forms and that she would support me. I told her that I don’t want to transition. I told her I couldn’t say that I would NEVER want to transition because I was pretty surprised by the crossdressing and can’t predict the future, but I like my ‘male’ side just as much as my ‘female’ side. In fact, I feel like a complete person either way. Truthfully, I hope to blend these two ‘sides’ with increasing ease. For now, I have been so very male for so many years, that I am dressed en femme most nights when I get home.

On the days that I am home and she at work, I femme up as completely as I can. Not because she’s away, but in anticipation of when she comes home. She positively lights up seeing just how pretty I’ve tried to make myself for her and for myself, and she delights to come home to a nice dinner.

She can’t wait to take me out one night and show me off.

Whether I continue to crossdress or not, both of us can’t wait for the rest of our lives together with all of its wonderful twists and turns.

[ElianaFrozenflame]

It is so sweet to find our better half to be, not only supportive of our feminine side, but also "embracing".

My wife responded exceptionally well. And while she was never eager to parade my femme self around in front of others, she has not expressed any objection to going out with my femme self sometime in the future.

My wife had also expressed that she would support me should I ever decide to transition. But, over time, I realized that was not completely true. It's how she wanted to respond, but might not have been how she would have ended up responding (at least at the time she expressed it, many years ago). I've always reassured her, that I had no intention of transitioning. I am not unhappy as a man. And I am most certainly not unhappy as a man in a dress. Blending the two sides presents a far more interesting challenge to me, personally. And it is an approach far easier to integrate in my life than some full transition.

[Macey]

It is so sweet to find our better half to be, not only supportive of our feminine side, but also "embracing".

My wife responded exceptionally well. And while she was never eager to parade my femme self around in front of others, she has not expressed any objection to going out with my femme self sometime in the future.

My wife had also expressed that she would support me should I ever decide to transition. But, over time, I realized that was not completely true. It's how she wanted to respond, but might not have been how she would have ended up responding (at least at the time she expressed it, many years ago). I've always reassured her, that I had no intention of transitioning. I am not unhappy as a man. And I am most certainly not unhappy as a man in a dress. Blending the two sides presents a far more interesting challenge to me, personally. And it is an approach far easier to integrate in my life than some full transition.

I am positively thrilled to hear a story similar to mine! I look forward to hearing more of your journey :)

[Shawna]

What a wonderful post...thank you for sharing your beautiful relationship with us!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Macey :hugs:, You are so blessed to have such a wonderful:love:Wife. >Orchid .oO:daydreaming:Oo.

[krissy]

What a nice story its so good to hear that you have support You are so lucky im in a 39 year marriage and she still cant stand it but it is nice to see that you have one of the great ones don't lose her .she is special, Have fun LOL:daydreaming:

[t-girlxsophie]

Fabulous to Hear of another successful relationship.My wife knew from the beginning all about me and the support and understanding she shows still leaves me in awe.Ive no intention to transition,still love a few things about being a guy,and I know she's happy about that as it would be a step too far for her.More power to the both of you and to more great times to share together

Sophie

[Beverley Sims]

I think you have a wonderful relationship developing, I would let your wife take the initiative and lead you to where you are going. :-)

[Macey]

Many of you are expressing how lucky I am. YES I AM! She is a remarkable woman, and always has been.


I think you have a wonderful relationship developing, I would let your wife take the initiative and lead you to where you are going. :-)

Beverly, I couldn't agree more.

[DanaR]

It's very nice that your wife accepts you as a person, not someone that she wants to control. From what I've heard and seen about other relationships, you are lucky.

[Macey]

It's very nice that your wife accepts you as a person, not someone that she wants to control. From what I've heard and seen about other relationships, you are lucky.

That's the real rub of it. The real heartbreak, I think. So many folks get caught up in a control game. So many folks are in love with an image in their mind of what they think the other person is supposed to be rather than truly loving a person.

[Rachelakld]

What a lovely story.
While I've been crossdressing a few decades, I enjoy my male side just as much as my female side, sure makes life interesting

[Rachelish]

Thanks for sharing that with us. I'm very happy for you. It's always good to hear stories that offer some hope of acceptance to those of us still on the other side of that conversation.

[Macey]

Thanks for sharing that with us. I'm very happy for you. It's always good to hear stories that offer some hope of acceptance to those of us still on the other side of that conversation.

That's the big reason (other than celebrating my wife) that I felt compelled to post this! I feel there may be folks that could use hearing of a good, positive experience!

I feel that there are three relationships that you must manage in a solid marriage, your relationship with yourself as an individual, your relationship with your spouse as an individual, and the entity that is the two of you together. Everyone is different, every relationship is different, but I feel these three elements should be present, fostered, and nurtured. My wife and I disagree sometimes, we fight sometimes (very rarely, I'm pleased to say), but we always approach each other with love.

[Charlotte7]

Macey, a lovely story, I am lucky too in that my SO embraces my dressing. It's great when it happens. I like what you say above at #14 about a marriage having three parts as that's very much how we have spent the last 30 years together.

[kimdl93]

You and your wife have created a wonderful relationship out of your contributions and hers. I can only dream of such a relationship.

[alwayshave]

Macey, it's great that your wife is accepting. Some times the pink fog does hit hard.

[Desiree2bababe]

You have the wife of a lifetime, enjoy.

[Bobbi46]

You are one of the fortunate ones! so many do not have what you have, you are one lucky girl.

[Karen RHT]

What a wonderful way to tell your story Macey. Kudos to you and your lovely wife. Keep going, keep enjoying.


Karen

[kim22]

Same here it's nice to hear someone is in the same place as I am

[JocelynJames]

Awesome story Macey! My wife is on board but not like that .

[robinlane98]

Congrats on such an understanding spouse!

[LeannS]

Oh Macey you are a very lucky person to have a wife like that must be awesome.
I am in dadt (don't ask don't tell) oh my wife knows what I do.
and we are very much in love with each other. I could only wish my wife could embrace this side of me.

take care of what you have

[Macey]

You are one of the fortunate ones! so many do not have what you have, you are one lucky girl.

I'm a lucky girl, indeed! She makes me feel more lucky everyday :) one day, a while back, sensing just how stressed I was from work, she booked a pedicure appointment for us. I wouldn't be the first 'husband' to get a pedicure, but most menfolk get clear coating. The young ladies at the salon were momentarily perplexed that herself insisted I get some color, but I got to choose :)

[suzanne]

Your wife is a gold plated, diamond encrusted unicorn! I'll bet there are a lot of members here who are completely envious. My own wife is supportive, but not nearly as much as yours. Get her to take you dress shopping. That will be an amazing experience.

[Shayla]

nice to hear positive relationship stories. I clicked on your headline expecting something much less positive!

[novastar]

New to this here. My abusive ex wife? Don't even ask. I once wore her panties to work and was turned on thinking of her all day long. Talk about a Category 5 freakout. I understand and totally get a women being "turned off" by this and not wanting to see their man dressed up. People have their turn on and turn offs. I'm now in an amazing same sex relationship. Right after my wife left me, a close, dear "straight" friend of mine told me his feelings and....umm...made me his. I dressed for him a few times as a bedroom thing and it drove us both wild, so i've been pushing it further and further. I'd like to have a female in my life supportive of this...but after having endured my horrible ex-wife I'm not sure how safe I feel trusting women.

[Alice Torn]

This is EXTREMELY RARE!! You are so very fortunate to have such a RARE, UNUSUAL WOMAN AND WIFE!!!! So many on here are in the opposite situation with wives that hate CDing, and many are DIVORCED now.

[JayeDee]

I am also very fortunate to have a wife that actually encourages me to "doll-up". I am of the opinion that those who are intolerant of their partners' interests and turn-ons, are manifesting low self-esteem. Unfortunately that condition seems to be irreversible. Jaye

[Macey]

Jaye, I tend to agree! I think I'm a strong personality, and for sure I've picked a mate (and she, me) that is as strong or stronger. We're equally yoked as they say. My wife positively lights up when she comes home to find me dolled up.

[Brenda Freeman]

You are truly blessed to find your soulmate. Caring about each other, opening the doors to explore life together with open minds. I was married 20 years before the crossdressing need surfaced, and it hit hard. My wife at first was very quiet and concerned. I quickly learned she was afraid of the unknown ahead and I fully understood that. It took a little while for her to understand but she learned I was not going anywhere, loved her as she is my soulmate and would never do anything to hurt her. Soon after we found our comfort zones. She does not spend time with me dressed but is very understanding and supportive and we are open in discussions and even discussing clothes and make up. I have learned a lot from her and I think she appreciates my interest in her, we talk about different looks and even shopping together(Me in male mode). I think fear and the unknown can derail a relationship. Also seeing a spouse in a new way you never thought existed can be a shock and for some worse. I new my wife's beliefs and character before I told her and I would not have told her if it had not become such an internal stress point affecting me. She understands this and supports me. We are a team there for each other. Not every one can handle this I am lucky but I knew this when I met her.

[Macey]

So it's my birthday today. First since starting crossdressing. In male mode, I'm just not into 'stuff', so my poor wife was always at a loss for what to get for me. And I never particularly wanted anything. TONIGHT however, she gifted me with a new dress, a new skirt, a Silk'n Infinity, a bag load of new makeup and … most importantly … some reese's peanut butter cups! (lol)

[ElianaFrozenflame]

Happy birthday, Macey! Hope you and your wife enjoy your day!

[Macey]

We did, and are! And she brought home sushi from my favorite place so I didn't have to bother with dinner :)