More Dominant or Submissive in life?

[Stacy Darling]

With being a CD,

Are you more Dominant in your everyday life knowing that you are in control,
Or do you see it as being a more submissive way of going about daily life?

I See both!

[Elizabeth G]

I could go on and on about this and over analyze myself but I'll keep it short instead.

I also see both although with respect to submissiveness it may be that I'm more passive than submissive. Years ago I would have answered submissive but as I age I find myself becoming more dominant (though by other peoples standards I'm probably still more on the passive side). I prefer to think of myself as a nice person. Also, though I find myself becoming more dominant over time it's probably more a case of me being less patient and less willing to tolerate BS and more ready to stand up for myself.

[Robertacd]

I am not sure how one determines D/S in their daily lives.

If generally being a butt hole makes you dominate then I would say I am submissive, but I don't let anyone push me around and I have no problem defending myself physically or verbally.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't do dominant but I may be submissive at times, I just have a soft spot for resolving problems generally.

[Stephanie47]

Neither. To be either one, there has to be a partner for interaction. I've always treat or have been treated by my wife as an equal in problem resolution. One thing I really find irritating is submissive women who defer to their husbands or boyfriends.

[Helen_Highwater]

Stacy,

I'd answer by saying QC, Quietly Confident.

[Stacy Darling]

I can see your points so far and love you for them!

I just think that we need more look into this!

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Oh, I am a bit submissive. I enjoy a partner helping me be sweet and loving! I just enjoy a partner!
Roxanne Lanyon

[2B Natasha]

I wouldn’t call it dominant. I have a quite strong willed confidence that leads me to be a dominant, yet benevolent person. Mostly I mind my own business and stay out of other peoples. That said. When in a group of people. I generally end up being the leader. I don’t try. I just end up there. Always have.

Cheers

[Tracii G]

Very strong willed fits me best.
I used to be overly dominant because that was the nature of the environment I was in at the time.
Still to this day I don't take BS from anyone but I don't use violence to get my point across.

[Sallee]

I would say I am more passive and submissive in everyday life. Its not that I have trouble with decisions but that I always ask for input and often I really don't need I just need to make a call and go. In my CD life I have been asked to play a dom and found it very difficult. I wasn't into it at all. I don't know if I could deal with either of those roles in a Dom/sub seen, but it is intriguing .

[Asew]

I am submissive typically. And being dominant is unnatural for me, but I have learned for certain situations I can fake it.

[sometimes_miss]

How I feel or how I behave? I'm basically shy and submissive, but have learned to speak and behave as an alpha male in public. It just makes life easier.

[Crissy 107]

Interesting topic, I would say both but less dominant now then years ago. I have a somewhat submissive side at times but the dominant side can and will be there if need be. Crissy

[Rachael Leigh]

I like the word passive as well in how I would describe myself I’m more of a gentle person overall well until I start watching
college football lol, but I do very much have a submissive side to me and still like that role but most women don’t care for
that so it’s probably hopeless for me to find someone

[Jaymees22]

I think I've always been passive/shy/quiet. Unfortunately I was passive aggressive in the past and that didn't work too well.
I find I'm less a wuss as a female and more fun.
Also where would the leaders be without us followers.

[Fran in skirts]

I would say I am slightly more dominate than submissive. I can lead and I can follow. I can make my own decisions and can ask for help when needed. I pretty much do as I please when it comes to my life and needs. I do not worry about what others think of me and sometimes show it very plainly. I can stick up for my self when push comes to shove.
Fran

[Ressie]

I'm not much of a leader, more of a follower, but I like being my own person. I live alone and mostly work alone. I do like pleasing people so I'm more on the submissive side.

Once I start seeing someone's BS I've had enough of that submissive crap! I don't like being taken advantage of and I don't like hanging around with others that are negative. And it should be manifest here that I don't like to argue. I make my points but don't care to argue. I usually admit I'm wrong when I am.

[EllieOPKS]

In drab I'm more dominate. I take the lead and make the calls. As Ella I am very much submissive which I enjoy.

[JayeDee]

As a business owner I am obligated to outwardly convey a dominant persona. However I am well aware that I would very much enjoy a submissive role, in the right setting and with the right person.
Jaye

[Shawna]

I enjoy taking on a more submissive stance when I'm Shawna. I think at first is was because as I began my more public journey, I was seeking out women to advise me and help me in all ways as I began to more fully develop and express my femininity. So because I looked to women as the "experts in femininity" (and, why not?)...I naturally assumed a more submissive stance as a "beginner woman"...

Now, my confidence is growing daily as Shawna more and more surfaces in all aspects of my life, but I find that I ENJOY being a bit more submissive - and as someone commented earlier "quietly confident".

Great topic!:love:

[kimdl93]

I have given this a lot of thought. In my outer life, I’m considered quite assertive...and I suppose my professional role requires that of me. I’m expected to lead, and I do. In relationships I’ve tended towards being deferential to the point of being submissive in many ways. I think this contradiction can be explained by apprehensions about making mistakes, disappointing and/or offending. My unwillingness to even pick a restaurant or plan an outing were regular annoyances to my ex. I didn’t comprehend that sometimes she wanted me to choose and to lead.

another life lesson learned too late

[Mermaiden]

I’ve been a leader in my business partnership and to some degree in the community serving on boards and committees, but I’ve only rarely used a forceful strategy. Usually I like to build consensus. We’ve made some great hires and I’m pleased to hand over the reins to the younger people who demonstrate leadership ability and interest. So, I’m not really dominant or submissive.

[Yukihime]

I like the phrase, quietly confident. :D Just seems quite fitting. I'm naturally a passive person, but with gradual experience, I've been able to project a certain level of confidence needed at my workplace. However, I still can't completely get rid of my dislike of direct confrontation...

[Rayleen]

I would say both, but respectful to others .

[alwayshave]

My vocation requires me to be dominant.

[DIANEF]

I don't think either term applies to me. I can certainly stand up for myself if the need arises but I'd always rather avoid confrontation if possible. I am naturally shy but that doesn't mean I'd ever let anyone take advantage of me.

[t-girlxsophie]

Wow! some of you really over think all this stuff.As a CD I'm just same as I am in male mode,straight down the middle.theres no magical transformation

Sophie

[Laura28]

Very dominant in male mood both personal and work. But dressed I want to submissive.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I love the phrase "Quietly Confident". That fits me quite well. I call it being "Girly". I do feel submissive, even though I am alone. If I ever had a partner, or friend, they would find me to be a bit submissive. I just wish they would simply "find me"!.


Roxanne Lanyon

[Lux]

Very dominant at work, which I don’t mind because I absolutely love my job. Which is why is so look forward to dressing up and being more submissive en femme. It really balances me out and I honestly couldn’t just pick one I’d prefer.

[Stacy Darling]

I've been trying to read my persona in regarde to this, and the more I read into myself the more submissive I appear!

My local Nuns and Venerables refer to me as compassionate, can't choose your name!

Guess I just feel that the less domineering we are the more beautiful we become!

Confusing but it's a Stacy mind!
xx

[SaraLin]

I don't have a "dominant" bone in my body, regardless of how I'm dressed.
But I'm not quite sure I qualify as "submissive" either.

If I don't feel strongly about something, I'll gladly let others take the lead. And yes, this *does* aggravate my SO from time to time (like picking where to eat)
BUT - if I do feel strongly about something, all the pressure in the world won't move me. The only hope anyone has of gaining my cooperation is if they can convince me that I was mistaken.

I guess that I'd say that I'm a "go with the flow" sort - as long as it doesn't lead me into places I won't go. (does that even make sense? H-m-m-m)

I like that old poem that says:
Don't lead me. I may not follow.
Don't follow, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend

(or something like that)

[Bea_]

I tend to see myself as 'adaptive' rather than either dominant or submissive. From very early in my forty-plus year marriage my thinking has been that, if it doesn't matter to me, make whatever decision you want, and not that many things mattered to me. But, when it mattered, it really mattered and there wasn't too much chance of me budging.

I've also told my wife from very early "You can charm me into just about anything, just don't TELL me what to do." She's had lots of freedom and she DID know how to use the charm. Still does.

Other than in my marriage, I'm just live and let live.

[Karmen]

I'm a scaredy-cat and a submissive person in general, but when I wear female clothes, underdressing of fully dressed, all that comes even more into the light. Probably because I'm even more nervous someone might notice that or recognise me when I go out fully dressed.

[LilSissyStevie]

There probably isn't a submissive bone in my body. I like to play the submissive role or bottom sexually but that's all it is - roleplay. Nothing else arouses me much. When my mother died I found she had saved all of my report cards from school. It was eye opening to see just how horrible of a child I was. I showed them to my daughter who is a child psychologist and she said, based only on the comments of my teachers and my near zero grade point average, it was classic Oppositional Defiant Disorder. They didn't take any crap in those days so I was constantly being punished hard but I was determined they weren't going to break me. They didn't, I ultimately broke myself. At the same time, I was very shy and timid with my peers - especially girls. Now, I'm neither dominant nor submissive towards other people. I tend to be a loner but never lonely.

[CDBillie]

When I am at work I am dominant to the point of being called an a$$hole , but as soon as I get home and get dressed in My favorite bra and panties I am submissive .

[laura.lapinski]

I'm aggressive in my approach to business and work. I just like to get the job done. I don't think I'm submissive in my personal life. would describe it as more open-minded, live and let live, easy going. I think deep-down though I am more of submissive in some ways. Does this sound like a contradiction of description? It should, because I've always felt like a walking dichotomy. I'm someone who needs time to figure out how I even feel about a lot of things when it comes to some relationships. As far as business and how to build something, the decisions are easy and logical. Add people, and it becomes harder.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I'd say i'm basically just passive in everyday life, I can put up a more take charge persona when required, and especially when in the company of males, but i'd call me more laid back, easy going then ever submissive.
I accept my gender identity as being more innate, i'm non-binary and dress accordingly (mixed mode) so I don't change based on what I wear.

As far as relationships go though, that is another story altogether. I had both my ex-wives make comments as we were divorcing that they needed a stronger more assertive guy...…...or alpha as I believe a lot of people like to say these days.
I've done some research on the matter and I think i'd do well in a more female led relationship or at least with a mate who was comfortable with equal gender norms/roles.

I also believe that this is a very subjective matter, what some here might consider dominant or submissive to others might be much much different. Just saying.

Cass