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Ceera
11-04-2018, 11:05 AM
Last night I went to one of the twice monthly women’s dances that I usually help with on setup and take-down, in exchange for me not having to pay the $10 cover charge. The dances usually attract 30 to 60 of the local lesbian and bisexual ladies, and a very small handful of female-identified transgender ladies. No men. Often as not, I am the only transgender lady there. I am very friendly, sociable and gregarious, and I really enjoy these dances. They all know me, and I am pretty popular. Even the hard core butch dykes like dancing with me.

This time they did a 70’s music theme, and encouraged costumes, so I dressed up like a ’hippie chick’, in a maroon off-the-shoulder peasant blouse with flowing bell sleeves, a long brown suede fringed vest, and an insanely psychedelic pair of mostly pink and white bell bottom pants that are skin tight from hips to knees, then dramatically expand to more than two feet across at the cuffs. I also wore a flower headband, and carried a fake yellow flower.

As I usually do, I spent most of the 3-hour dance out on the dance floor, dancing with anyone who wanted to dance with me, mingling with the crowd, and encouraging the ‘wallflowers’ to get up and dance. There was one older woman who spent the first two hours just sitting and watching the dancers, despite me and several other ladies encouraging her to get up and dance. She wasn’t mobility impaired at all, just shy, I assumed. She got up several times in that period to get water or a drink, or to get food at the buffet table.

Two hours into the dance, I was dancing with another lady, and the watcher finally came out and introduced herself to me. We both encouraged her to dance with us, and she did. Then she told me, “You know, I’ve seen you at lots of these dances, but I was always too intimidated by you to introduce myself. This time, I promised myself I would do it!” I grinned at her, offered and gave her a hug, and playfully whispered into her ear, “I promise, I don’t bite... unless I’m asked nicely!” She grinned back, and replied shyly, “I like biteing!” That broke the ice, and she had a fun time dancing with several ladies for the rest of the night.

Later that night, the hostess was taking pictures of several couples and groups. The shy lady was encouraged by another woman she had danced with to take a picture together. When they were done, I asked the shy one if she would pose for another one, this time with me. She gladly did, but as we got ready she looked up at me and then asked the photographer, “should I stand on a stool?” We all laughed at that, then did the pictures.

I am at least a foot taller than her. Usually, I am the tallest person at the dance, though a few ladies are close to my 5’ 10” height. Is that the only reason why she was intimidated by me? Or is it really true, as several of my friends insist, that I have become “something of a local celebrity“?

(Edited to add - Sorry for no pictures, but next weekend I am doing something special that I really want to post pictures of, so I am making sure I don't post any other pictures in new thread by me for at least a week prior to that event!)

mykell
11-04-2018, 11:21 AM
well if your intimidating at 5' 10 then my 6' may have scared her away....sounds like you have a great gig going....being a wallflower from the past just be glad you got her on her feet and she ended up having fun :D

Stephanie47
11-04-2018, 11:32 AM
Given what these dances are and the fact she freely admitted she has seen you many times I think "gregarious" may be the answer.Sometimes there is a fine line between being viewed as sociable and too 'pushy.' Not saying you're 'pushy' but a shy person may view it as 'pushy' if they are shy. If you dance for three hours with anyone and everyone I doubt you have the same dance partner for the three hours. It sounds as if you're constantly in motion.

Leslie Mary S
11-04-2018, 11:34 AM
glad you are having fun. I too stand 6' in my socking feet and weigh in at 230 lb. Your new friend would be dwarfed.

Majella St Gerard
11-04-2018, 04:22 PM
Shy people are often intimidated by outgoing people. I get that too.

kimdl93
11-04-2018, 04:56 PM
I think that she really was just shy. 5’10” is tall for a woman, but not intimidatingly so. Some people are intimidated by outgoing people, regardless of their stature. So it seems you and others managed to draw her out!

Beverley Sims
11-04-2018, 08:19 PM
Probably because you are a leader and she is a follower.

Just how relationships work nothing wrong with that.

The leader should embrace all and make the followers welcome.

Patience
11-04-2018, 11:36 PM
Sometimes you think you're putting something out there and people are picking up the complete opposite. It all depends on what they choose to see.

Clearly, the entire problem was inside her head and had nothing to do with you. Good for her for getting over it and extra points for being upfront with you.

I too am tall. Matter of fact, that's how a lady started a conversation with me while I was out dressed at a thrift store earlier today.

phili
11-05-2018, 12:10 AM
Umm- IMHO it is her way of saying she likes you!

docrobbysherry
11-05-2018, 01:04 AM
I'm 5' 10" and have never intimidated anyone with my height my entire life! Including countless T's, and vanilla men and women. Even in my 4"+ spike heels!:straightface:

So, assume it something else, Ceera!:thumbsup:

Robertacd
11-06-2018, 02:56 PM
I don't know how anyone could find you intimidating, your avatar picture is just the cutest thing ever.