Not quite "male fail," but something was going on

[JaytoJillian]

Was on the train coming home from work, so I was in full-on guy mode. I was standing, clutching a rail near one of the doors, and every time I looked to my right, I noticed a young guy--late 20s--staring intently at me. He asks another guy to get my attention (I guess he had tried, but I was wearing earbuds). So I unplug, look over, and he asks me if I would like to sit--you know, the way guys offer a seat to a woman. My first thought was, "geez, do I really look old enough to be offered a seat?" So, in my manliest dialect, I say, "Nah, bruh, I'm good." In my head I thought it sounded ridiculous. At the end of the line, he hops up before the train can come to a full stop, moves to the area just across from me and says something--I am still rocking out to Queen, so I unplug again, and say, "huh?" He's like, "have a nice night." And silly me--"Uh, you too, bruh." LoL I wasn't quite sure what went down, but maybe he saw me as something not so masculine in spite of what I was trying to project.

[Beverley Sims]

Does make you wonder, do you have a nice delicate complexion?

[TiffanyTgirl]

Well, you are quite attractive as Jillian, so I imagine it starts with Jay. My gut says he was trying to find a way to talk to you

[phili]

That is funny- how we go on guard when in man mode not to show weakness or need anything. My guess is he was gay and his gaydar went off due to that 'something' you describe! He's trying the best he can to connect, and he's seen lots of guys realize it and withdraw.

My experience with gay men is that they are overall quite understanding of the complexity of gender, so he could be a train ride buddy, without sexual worries. Just being able to connect is a good helping of happiness. Maybe you'll see him again and can thank him for his friendly offer!

[Jean 103]

Sounds like he was just trying to be nice and wanting to get too know you.

My best guess, he is BI and made you to be TG.

I met one of my boyfriends at a grocery store. I rounded a corner and we were face too face, He lit up. I was like oh no. A couple minutes latter he was at the other end of an aisle, he was heading straight at me. I just stood still and waited as I realized he just wanted my phone number. We dated for about a year.

[Micki_Finn]

It’s really a sad day in our society when people are polite and mannered and we wonder what their ulterior motive is.

[Stephanie47]

Sounds as if he was trying to engage in conversation with you with the intent to pick you up. From your narrative it sounds as if you were taking the subway home to Queens. I use to live in Queens and took the subway to high school, college and work twelve plus years. I found most commuters tend to ride in the same car and have the same routine. I would think this is not the first time he encountered you, although you would not realize it. Funny story. My wife and I commuted on the 7 train everyday with her at almost full term with our son. A gay man tried to make eye contact with me. I did not realize it, but, my wife did and she shot him daggers.."Like keep you hands off, he's mine."

Again, sounds as if he was trying to initiate a conversation. As a New Yorker, in my youth and young adult life just minding my own business I got some really crude comments from men trying to pickup guys.

[Krisi]

If that happened to me, I would assume the other guy was gay and trying to pick me up.

[JaytoJillian]

It’s really a sad day in our society when people are polite and mannered and we wonder what their ulterior motive is. Not being cynical, as this particular situation is clearly ALL about me, not the guy on the train. Having been on an HRT regimen for more than a year I'm just wondering what vibes--if any--I may be giving off.

I have ridden the train to and fro my place of employment for two years now. And I have never seen one able-bodied male offer his seat to another able-bodied male-unencumbered by children, packages or otherwise. The gesture was surprising and it caught me off guard.

The intent off the post was to poke fun of my OWN awkwardness, as I feel as if I'm in a bit of an ugly duckling phase. It wasn't like I thought the guy was gonna mug me or something.

[Alyssa Lane]

Yep sounds like the guy noticed something and tried to talk to you, probably thought you looked good or something

[sometimes_miss]

If that happened to me, I would assume the other guy was gay and trying to pick me up.

^this. It's NYC. It's easy to be 'out' when it's a common thing. Pretty much no commuter passenger on a train gives a crap about anyone else, otherwise.

[Helen_Highwater]

Having been on an HRT regimen for more than a year I'm just wondering what vibes--if any--I may be giving off.


Jillian,

Perhaps the HRT is having a greater effect than you realise.

This evening I was traveling by train and standing as it was rush hour. A 20 something who was sat down looked up from her smartphone, saw me and asked if I'd like to sit. Full on drab, not a hint of femme. I declined and asked if I looked "that old" (I'm in my sixties and people tell me I look young for my age). This embarrassed her and she blurted out, "Oh it's just that I'm getting off next stop". Well she didn't and having traveled a further 2 stops it was my turn to get off, leaving her intently looking at her smartphone.

[Veronica4me]

Not being cynical, as this particular situation is clearly ALL about me, not the guy on the train. Having been on an HRT regimen for more than a year I'm just wondering what vibes--if any--I may be giving off.

I have ridden the train to and fro my place of employment for two years now. And I have never seen one able-bodied male offer his seat to another able-bodied male-unencumbered by children, packages or otherwise. The gesture was surprising and it caught me off guard.

The intent off the post was to poke fun of my OWN awkwardness, as I feel as if I'm in a bit of an ugly duckling phase. It wasn't like I thought the guy was gonna mug me or something.

As others have said, perhaps the HRT is changing your entire look, no matter the mode. You are stunning as Jillian and have a very feminine look to you. Even a straight guy would probably be attracted to you when you're in guy mode. Your voice probably is changing, too.

[Jean 103]

I felt this is where you r.

This kinda thing happens to me all the time. Last week I got home from work late and decided to go out to eat. I just let my hair down, changed my shirt and put on a Levi jacket. No bra, makeup, or nails. The waitress ma'amed me , I smiled to let her know it was ok. She treated me as I were dressed.

I think you will find this kinda thing will happen to you more and more.

[Tracii G]

Maybe he was attracted to you and was trying to "break the ice".
I love polite people like that.
Its only happened to me once and I am kicking myself for not getting his cell number.

[FrannGurl]

He may have simply been just trying to be polite, and trying to spread a little niceness into the world, there's people like that in the world and I think its wonderful. On the other hand, maybe he was interested in you and trying to strike up a conversation. If so, I think he did it in a very non creepy way. I wish more guys were like that and it happened to me, especially since I'm trying find a decent guy at the moment.....Was he cute?:)

[Alice B]

well, you are a beautiful woman

[karynspanties]

Maybe he is member here and recognized you.............

[Sherrii]

I agree with the "gay" theory, probably, but who knows. Sherrii

[Majella St Gerard]

Uhh, he was hitting on you.

[April Rose]

I read the post as Jillian as listening to the band "Queen", it said nothing about the city in New York. Of course, it was the subway, so She wasn't in Indianapolis.

I live near Boston and on occasion, ride the subway there (drab). Let me tell you, it was a rude awakening the first time a young woman offered me her seat. I thanked her and politely declined, but inside I was thinking "dear god, AM I THAT old?!" :doh:

Jillian, either way, someone thought you were worth being nice to. That dispels the ugly duckling theory. Enjoy.

[Patience]

It’s really a sad day in our society.

That just about says it all, and it explains a lot.

Jillian. It seems your year of HRT is starting to show and people are picking upon it.