Crossdressing: Choice or Necessity? or "Could You Quit It And Not Miss It?"

[Patience]

Until recently, through the information I have been able to find, I have understood that crossdressers express a feminine side of themselves by taking on a feminine appearance. That made sense to me because I felt that it aptly described my situation. It still does.

I was also aware that it is not unusual for crossdressers to have a love-hate relationship with their dressing. I've seen folks describing their crossdressing urges as a tapeworm, a source of stress, grounds for separation and divorce, and...a choice/hobby? The latter description came as a bit of a surprise.

Now, I'm not disputing the fact that crossdressing can be a lot of fun and that some people choose to crossdress occasionally for comical effect, but I didn't imagine that those types would feel the need to discuss their dressing in a forum like this. With all the headaches and social prejudices we have to endure, not to mention the danger, I could not imagine anyone wanting to seriously pursue this activity without a very strong compulsion to do so. I mean, crossdressing may be more humane than hunting and more exciting than model trains, but it's an unusual thing to choose for a pastime, isn't it? Granted, the act of dressing may be a choice, but the urge to dress certainly isn't.

So I ask to those who consider dressing a choice: Could you just quit cold turkey and be perfectly happy not dressing ever again?
I understand there might be many folks who have allegedly already answered a similar question in older threads. I'm posting this thread in the off-chance that some new folks with interesting insights may have joined the forum since then. Thanks.

[Mickitv]

My response is an emphatic NO. I have accepted over the years that this is who I am and although it is a secret to most I am still happy being who I am. Yes there are many issues but you always must trust your heart and go with it. Good Luck

[Wildaboutheels]

Many here feel "guilt" in one form or another about their CDing. Which is why at least some will move on to some type of fuller presentation if not going full out to "pass as a woman". Many will at least 'try" the fuller presentation. Some here will arrive at this Forum and feel "compelled" to a fuller presentation to better fit in or be accepted. Plain ol Human Nature.

Our UNconscious mind constantly goes through all manner of contortions every day to protect us from ourselves.

In so many ways.

Many folks give up some of their hobbies all the time for various reasons.

I don't have a reason to quit.

Someone has to show the public how silly it is to judge a candy bar by it's wrapper.

Don't they?

[Robertacd]

I don't know anyone who chose to be a Crossdresser.

Or chose to be transgender

Or chose to be homosexual

I could go on and on about the things people are that they didn't choose to be.

[sometimes_miss]

HEY! I like model trains! And since I don't find crossdressing 'exciting', then yes, model trains are more exciting than crossdressing! (at least, to me, anyway).

But yes, given the right circumstances, I could walk away from crossdressing. Unfortunately, that would require finding a woman that I'm attracted to, who thought that there was nothing wrong with crossdressing, who also found me attractive, because part of the stress that makes me vulnerable to the desire to crossdress, is knowing that she hates something about me, and looks down on me because of that (ex wife).

I managed to quit crossdressing for over ten years, during which I got married. The first, oh, six years that we were together, I had no desire to crossdress; my mind repressed the desire easily, so the thoughts rarely came up, and when they did, were easily dismissed. It was only when other things in my life became more stressful, that my mind couldn't suppress the desire to crossdress, and the urge came back with a vengeance, eventually destroying my marriage when I couldn't hold back the urge any longer. See, back when I got married, I really believed that I had 'beaten it', that maybe it was just a phase, or that I had outgrown it. For that reason, I saw no need to bring it up to my girlfriend, my future wife. So I understand why she was so upset. After all, I was upset, too. I had thought it was all in the past.

It turns out that for me, at least, when other things in my life are going okay, I don't feel the urge to crossdress. So yes, If I won the lottery, and found a suitable wife, I could give up crossdressing. But the likelihood of that happening is virtually zero, as the number of women who are perfectly fine with their husband crossdressing is also virtually zero, or, about equal to actually winning that lottery. Sure, you will find some men on this board who have wives who are genuinely fine with their husband's crossdressing, but out of how many? Last I checked, there have been about 30,000 members here at one time or another. How many have wives that were really just fine with him being a crossdresser? Not a whole lot. And the ones who are actually willing to participate in it with him? Few, indeed.

[Stephanie47]

I'm not a 'newbie' to this site. I'm a senior. There was a time when I did not think of wearing women's clothing. It was not so much a 'kick the habit' situation. It was more outside influence that caused a cessation of cross dressing. I was called upon to do one of those 'manly' things society says men should do.....go to war. I've read many times that a man's thought processes are not fully developed until his 20's. Before that he is fully malleable. That's one reason the army likes teenage recruits. He can be shaped into what the army wants....a drone who will follow orders. Perhaps, I digressed. My point is gender issues develop over the years. I do not consider wearing women's clothing a 'choice.' A counselor who I do see for war related issues believe each man and woman has some dna of the opposite sex in his or her genetic makeup. Some have more than others. I've considered that, and, maybe I see that in many posts on this thread. While I find myself at this stage in life content with my cross dressing and its limitations, it was not that way in my early years. I was torn apart. I came to slowly realize who I was and I am a complex human.

If a person has a minimal amount of the opposite sex dna, perhaps the drive to actually not cross dress may be fulfilled. But, would the desire go away..fully? I don't think so. Asking any person to shelve who they actually may be is probably harmful to their mental state. At times in my younger years I was equally stressed out denying myself or wearing women's clothing. I cannot think there is any man who would risk the scorn society heaps upon non conformists just to wear women's clothing unless there was some innate need to do so. I tried it, and, it did not work.

The only choice I make these days is which dress I am going to wear.

[Jackiefl]

I suggest you look up past threads on this as it has been discussed many times

[Rayleen]

I'm in it for life , unless in a nursing home. I could not stop cold turkey . Why should I stop, life is made for living it.

[docrobbysherry]

It is a compulsion for me. Because of my age? I realize I shall have to quit eventually. :straightface:

I'm going crazy dressing up in whatever crazy, wild fashion I can imagine now. So, I won't look back with regrets!:battingeyelashes:

[ElianaFrozenflame]

I guess it all really boils down to what is this urge to crossdress motivated by? I have not been able to answer that question in my case, in any satisfactorily way. I am ok, knowing, I may never be able to answer that. The journey of that self discovery is rewarding, even if I know not its destination.

[Alice B]

For me it is simple. Do I want to quit. No. Could I quit. Yes. But, my wife is OK with my dressing as long as I do not throw it in her face. So it is a mute point

[dee anne]

NO I could not

[Asew]

I have quit before. I tried to make it a choice. I didn't miss it for years. But similar to sometimes_miss above, it came back with a vengeance.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-Patience,
This is a difficult question to answer, but seeing as this
all started at a very young age, at this point my answer would be no.
Although at several points through my life the desire seemed to have
disappeared for extended periods of time. I’m not talking days, or months,
I’m talking years!, and not 1, 2, or even 3 years...I mean like
12 at one point, and even 20 at another! This all happened not by a simple
choice on my part, but rather by other things in my life keeping me busy,
or otherwise satisfied.
I do believe CDing is something more than a hobby.
Why would a 7 year old need a hobby?
Much Love,
Kristyn

[ellbee]

Quitting is easy... I've done it plenty of times! :heehee:

[Rhonda Jean]

It's not as necessary as oxygen. But despite the perils and some tragic consequences, overall it's added so much to my life that I'll never quit by my own choice.

[Ressie]

yes, it's a choice day by day. There are days that I choose not to because I don't feel like it that day. But as others have said, for me it's a compulsion. Once the idea to dress hits me there isn't much chance of it not happening.

[DIANEF]

I believe I could give up cross dressing if I really had to, but it would be incredibly hard to endure. Fortunately I can't see that ever happening.

[Tracii G]

It would be something I would call a necessity because I don't feel complete unless I do it some way or fashion.
Keeps my mind and body as one so to speak.

[Shayla]

I think anyone who describes crossdressing as their 'hobby' does so loosely/tongue-in-cheek. I think you are right, that it is a compulsion (albeit one that tends to come and go for many of us) that can be controlled, but not stopped at will. Certainly I have tried, and would try to quit again if I thought it was possible, not due to how I feel about myself, but how I think future and current relationships will be/could be affected because of my needs.

[JeanTG]

Stop? Yes, did for many years in fact.

Not miss it? No. I was/am miserable (not dressing at present)

[sara66]

I "quit" for 11 years after I was married. The desire ebb on and off the whole time. Only when I was experiencing a lot of life stress did it flood me with a pink tidal wave. I was luck to have a mostly understanding wife. As for a choice, I think only the first couple of times there may been. If I have to quite for the sake of my marriage I would.
Sara

[Gillian Gigs]

HEY! I like model trains! And since I don't find crossdressing 'exciting', then yes, model trains are more exciting than crossdressing! (at least, to me, anyway).

I like model railroads too, and I often work on my layout fashionably dressed, if you get my drift. Wearing a skirt while sitting at my work bench has saved me many times from having to look on the floor for something that fell onto my lap.

As far as the why's go, for me it's kind of like the old wagon rutted tracks that happen in life. The ruts get deeper with time and more difficult to get out of. So what is wrong with going with the familiar. I tend to pick and choose what I like to wear, regardless of where they are bought, I draw the line at only picking items that humans would wear...lol

Too much time is spent wrestling with the why's and if I could quit, accept and move on.

[TheHiddenMe]

Everyone's story is different.

I disagree with the idea that I am expressing my feminine side when I dress (I'm a CD). I was 7 years old and wanted to try on a dress. I'm 54 years older and I still do. Wearing the clothes and seeing myself dressed (makeup, shoes, clothes, etc) gives me pleasure.

I choose to dress. I could choose to stop, but why should I? I'm not hurting anyone, it makes me happy, and I've made friends because I've been out dressed. It's the same with golf, and tennis, and I'm not giving them up either.

[HollyGreene]

It would be very difficult for me to give it up. I underdress every day and get the chance to dress about 3 or 4 times a week at the moment. It's a major part of my life and whenever I take enforced extended breaks from it, I feel something huge is missing in my life.

I didn't choose to be a CD. It chose me, and it has a stronger will than I.

[Ronnie38]

I have thought long and hard about this one. Aftet losing my father last month i have been reflecting on it even more. For as long as i can remember i have been drawn to girls clothes, shoes, makeup, jewlery, etc., etc. I grew up jealous of my older sister. I wanted my ears pierced, my nails done, makeup and pretty dresses. The special feeling of getting flowers. When middle and high school came i was jealous of the pretty girls. I wanted to be a girl so i could have boobs and wear pretty bras. I was attracted to girls physically on a sexual level, yet still drawn to their clothes and accessories. My favorite color has always secretly been pink. Fast forward to today, those feelings still have never left. My wife loves me enough to accept this about me and allows and encourages me to explore it. Its hard to explain in words but i kind of liken it to being the opposite of a tomboy. I have no desire to transition or become a woman but if it were to become a completely and socially acceptable thing, i would probably become the girliest man you would ever meet. Its not something i can say i was born with but not something i can just turn off either. It is just what i like and who i am. I find some things pretty and feel that as a human being i have the right to feel pretty too.

[Princess Chantal]

It was a choice for me from day one. Could I quit if and when I want to, yes! Just like any other hobbies and interests that I had enough of.

[Beverley Sims]

No, it is too ingrained in me now.

[GracieRose]

I didn't choose to be a CD. It chose me, and it has a stronger will than I.
Holly, What a great description.
It has always been there. It may get stronger and weaker as other things take precedence. But it has NEVER gone away for the past 60 years, even when I thought that I was starting to win the battle.

[biancabellelover]

I’m just coming up to my two year anniversary of when I first crossdressed (I’m in my mid fifties).

I don’t have mixed feelings about it at all; I love it!

While I wouldn’t consider it a choice; neither is it a compulsion. I’m sure I could give it up if I had to, but I would miss it, as it has broadened my horizons and continues to do so. (Also see comment above: I love it!).

Michelle

[t-girlxsophie]

I've been through a lot both good and bad due to being a CD,to think about giving up. But sometimes I wonder how i'll feel in my dotage about it though

Sophie

[Shayna]

I managed to quit for over 10 years, but it eventually came back. I don't dress nearly as I often as I would like to, but I think about it all the time. Right now I don't care to quit so I don't even think it's a question, but I don't necessarily think it's Impossible, just improbable for most of us.

[Charlotte7]

It's a simple no from me.

[alwayshave]

I'm a crossdress, always have, always will be.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Me too!
Roxanne

[Georgina]

No I wouldn't want to stop. And miss the thrill of new outfits?

[Piora]

After my breakup, I purged every female item I owned. I moved to a new city and never even thought about crossdressing for 7 years. I was just making ends meet, barely, and that was the real reason that I put it out of my mind. After 7 years passed, I moved to another city, where I was financially better off. I started to think about dressing again, and bought a few lingerie items. My thoughts are that it can be suppressed, but it will never truly go away. These days, I happily indulge my pleasure of dressing in feminine clothing again. My desire came back like an express train. However, regardless of my circumstances, I will NEVER purge again. My crossdressing is here to stay.

[Anna Gracie]

No It's not a choice. I tried stoping many times. Nowdays I just accept it.

[Barbara Black]

By and large, there are some who could quit and get away from it. If nothing else, just out of pure stubbornness. No, even my stubbornness wasn't enough even after many years of marriage. But other than those few, who may not really had the primal urge, I would say that it sticks with you and will come out eventually.

[GretchenM]

No choice here. For 59 years I tried to get rid of the bitch in me that made me do these things. That is what often happens when you are a kid and you get caught and are punished for doing what felt natural. I finally gave up the fight and accepted her as a part of me. Now the masculine/male in me is merged with the feminine/female in me and the two are partners. As a professional in the sciences, I have researched the deep scientific foundations of what is known about this behavior and the consensus is that it is innate and not a choice. One can part from it for awhile, sometimes quite a while. But deep in your subconscious it remains alive. It is not known why this sometimes comes and goes. A lot of other things do that as well. So its variability in many is not unexpected. For some it is always there; for others it comes and goes. But it rarely ever departs permanently.

[Krisi]

I suggest you look up past threads on this as it has been discussed many times

Yes it has, but it hasn't been resolved. And there are probably new members since the last time this came up.

I believe a person can stop anything if they really want to. Smoking, alcohol, drugs, beating his wife and crossdressing. Some are harder to stop than others. Drugs are physically addictive so you may need help. Alcohol as well but to a lesser extent.

All these behaviors involve you voluntarily doing something. Buying and using alcohol, drugs, tobacco, etc. Crossdressing is the same. Nobody is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to put on a pair of panties and a bra, you are doing it because you want to.

So the question is, could I quit? I recently went away for a few months and didn't crossdress. I was fine. I came home and began again. If I had to, I could quit. Like many others here, I don't have to, it's not hurting anybody, so I continue to dress as a woman when possible.

[carhill2mn]

The simple answer to your question is "NO". Even if due to circumstances, I was unable to dress as a woman I would not be happy about it. I would think about it a lot and wish that I could do so again.

[Cheryl T]

Firstly I did not choose to be this way. Just as I did not choose to be right handed, Caucasian, or male.

Could I quit cold turkey? Yes, I could but why would I? Why would I deny this part of myself? This is not a sexual thing, it's not a fetish, it's not a hobby, it's part of what makes me ME!
Like many I went through multiple purges and periods of denial, but then I realized I'm happiest with this part of me intact. Thankfully my wife is fully supportive and I can express myself whenever I wish without judgement.

It took decades for me to come to terms with who I am in this regard. I still don't know why, but from all I have garnered I feel it is genetic. I'm happy being me and I wouldn't change that for anything.

[Angela Marie]

No. I don't think I could. Like many others I have gone through the purges, denials, etc. And to this day I still struggle at times with guilt feelings. But I realize this is part of me; and I will not deny myself simply to conform to societal strictures.

[Leslie Mary S]

For me I thought it was a choice and that I could quite anytime. WRONG. Now I find when I have time on my hands I am in fem attire. I am a hermit too.

[ellbee]

Let me fix your post for you...



Nobody is holding a gun to my head and forcing me to put on a pair of panties and a bra, I am doing it because I want to.


Gee, you're right... Speaking for others *is* kinda fun! ;)

[Veronica4me]

I could quit crossdressing just as easily as being 6 feet tall, white, and getting older each year. Patience, you are right about it being a compulsion.

BTW - If I could quit anything, aging would be the thing, not crossdressing.

[AKADonna]

I have vacillated on this topic many times over the years. When I was CD'ing in secret, I became very tired of having to hide everything and, so I would purge all of my feminine things and resolve to get on with life without CDing. Within a few months, though, I'd find myself back buying some panties and a bra and underdressing in secret.

Once my wife caught me in lingerie and, after a few horrible months, came around to understanding my needs better, life has improved greatly. I just so love dressing and feeling feminine and, at 73, that's not likely to change at this point

[Nikki A.]

You can't quit who you are. You may be able to control it, maybe abstain from "dressing" but deep inside it will always be there and will always find a way to make itself known.
Even if I don't dress fully, I am always wearing something, even if it is just panties. I get up some mornings wanting to wear a skirt or dress to work, but I don't. I know if I start with a skirt, I'd end up fully dressed. There is a part of me that really does not care anymore, but I need my job and I can't afford to lose it (I'm in an at will state)and while I may have federal protection (at least for now), I don't have the time to fight a court case

[IleneD]

No.
Can't stop. Won't stop. No retreat.
Besides..... stop WHAT? wearing clothes? they're MY clothes and I put them on to stay warm, not show my incredibly naked body, and to make a statement. But they're MY clothes, so why stop.
I plan on going on like this until I can go no longer. Then it's a toss up. Be buried in my favorite dress or in my Navy Service Dress Blue.

[Jane G]

That is an easy one. The answer is no. I have crossdressed since I was a small child. I gave up my favourite sport, surfing, after more than 30 years. I was told I could go deaf in one ear without a simple surgical procedure. I simply stopped surfing four years ago. I am certain that is not the case with crossdressing, it is simply part of who I am.

[Aunt Kelly]

No. My TG nature was, even before realized it's extent, clearly something that was a part of me. I learned that denying it or suppressing it was not only futile, but had undesirable effects the longer I kept it up.

[Laura28]

Could never stop. Been dressing since I was kid. I tried over the years. However today I don’t want stop or even pause. It is who I am.

[steffigirl37]

No I could never quit. Have tried maybe forty years ago when it was a very frustrating thing to deal with. But with an understanding wife and being able to set limits, I look forward to and relish my private time. In fact just picked up a new dress yesterday and looking forward to wearing it tonight.

[Stephanie Julianna]

After at least 67 years of knowingly wanting to dress as a girl and then a woman I could not imagine not dressing as my true gender at times.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

i have "quit" countless times and wish i could stop dressing permanently but it controls me. the longer the time between times i can dress the stress and sadness overwhelms me.

[Karmen]

Crossdressing is a big part of my life. I would really miss it if I had to stop wearing female clothes, especially panties, pantyhose and heels.

[Mary Lawrence]

Earlier in life, I made a distinction between borrowing panties for personal pleasure and crossdressing. I knew nothing of crossdressing except what I saw in the 1959 movie, "Some Like It Hot," with Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe. I loved the movie, but it did not provoke any desire to dress. Wearing panties occasionally for personal pleasure was entirely different from playing dress-up. Much later, my interest in the texture of smooth, flimsy nylon of many panties led me to borrow other items of similar fabric--pantyhose, slips--and over time, this led to trying on a bra stuffed with socks plus the panties, full slip and pantyhose. Finally, one evening, I borrowed a skirt and blouse and a ratty old wig and went for a ride to window shop at a closed minimall. That was a big change. Up to then, my dressing in women's things (note, they were not my things, they belonged to a woman) were for my own sexual pleasure. That night, it was not about something as basic as personal sexual pleasure, but rather as something more complicated. I started reading about crossdressing and realized that I was/am a crossdresser. Not really surprising by that time, but it had taken quite a while for me to see the reality. Now, I want to look like a woman: hair, makeup, glasses, shoes, hips, breasts, rings, watch, bracelets, fingernails, and clothing: it is way more complicated than just sexual function. I guess I am (we are??) on the gender spectrum.

I have no doubt that crossdressing is related to sexual behavior in some fashion, i.e., it is modulated by hormonal activity. Why or how, I have no clue. I do know that many hormonally modulated behaviors are very difficult to stop. I am an intermittent crossdresser. By this I mean, while admitting that I cannot fully stop (I cannot bear the thought of discarding my forms), I do go long intervals without doing so. These intervals are not voluntary and I often think about it wishfully during the barren times. So, bottom line, I can and do stop the actual act of crossdressing, but the desire never really disappears and the activity usually reappears when an opportunity presents itself.

[SabrinaEmily]

Maybe the right way to look at it isn't "could you quit" but "what are the consequences of trying to do so"? After all, as Krisi said, no one is holding a gun to anyone's head. Are there, perhaps, other forms of compulsion that cannot simply be dismissed as being weak-willed?

Depending on who you are, the answer could be, among others, "basically nothing", "missing it but not intolerably so", "feeling miserable", "eventually having a mental breakdown", "eventually arriving at the threshold of suicide" (as many trans people can testify they did while trying to suppress themselves).

We have people across the spectrum in this thread, and I said "depending on who you are" for a reason -- it's a lot more about who you are, in gender identity on a subconscious level, than about your willpower. The ones who got to "eventually arriving at the threshold of suicide" often have tremendous willpower, but in this area the only place it got them was to the threshold of suicide -- and then, fortunately, back from it. In the cases we hear about, anyway...

An interesting note on the "having a mental breakdown" part of the scale is the experience of Norah Vincent, who wrote the book "Self-Made Man". For about 18 months, Vincent, a self-described butch lesbian, presented and passed as male, including participating in a variety of male-only activities from a bowling team to a therapy group. She was in a pretty bad state by the end of the 18 months, and apparently wrote another book, "Voluntary Madness", about her experiences in a mental hospital.

That's another perspective on trying to present 100% against one's gender identity for an extended period of time.

[Kirsten1]

Crossdressing is a love hate love love thing for me. I wear panties and a bra almost every day. Currently unemployed living with my brother. He would NOT understand.. Which is a part of my issue. I am not sure if I was fully free to express myself if I would wear make up or dresses etc. I have in the past and besides being afraid to work on make up skills since I am not sure I would get everything off and then have to answer questions... I would do I more often. As you can see I am conflicted. I enjoy dressing but being fully dressed actually kind of freaks me out. As in what the **** am I doing? Then again it is well I kind of like it... I have saved all my make up and dresses and a pair of pantie hose. Will I wear them again? Not sure at all. But I want to thank all of you for your comments and questions. I often read them all and lean and then dream of what it would be like to have a wife that is supportive. Anyway thanks for listening....

Kirsten

[Darla]

Nope. Could not stop nor do I want to. I’ve come to see this part of me as something to cherish and love, and that makes me more me. Just wish I could share it more often with more people.

[nancymo4242]

I did try quitting, and horribly failed each time.
I remember one summer, in 2012, having this horrible urge to crossdress. It was like craving a cigarette when you have quit smoking.
The urge didn't go away. I was trying to quit, but that's when I knew there was no "quitting". You can't quit being yourself, at least not without serious psychological side effects.
I can't quit. Whenever I have days when I know I won't be able to dress, I already miss it on the first night.
If I ever could do it, without consequences, even for a couple of weeks, I would totally go out dressed.

[Alice Torn]

If circumstances hit hard, and I could not dress, simply because of severe circumstances, like war, natural disasters, fires, cancer, severe injuries, or homeless, you bet I could stop. If there is no food or water, or housing, it becomes unimportant then.

[KarenSusan]

If I could give it up, I would. I consider it my cross to bear.

[Janet Bern]

I would like to stop wearing ladies clothes but
as time went on I always revert to wearing ladies clothes

[JustMe!]

I’ve given it up in the past, and even though I had given it up, I never stopped thinking about it. So after a long absence, my feminine self has re-emerged with a vengeance.

[Veronica4me]

It's the pink fog. It only affects certain gurls. Like the weather, it may come and go, but once you've been drawn into it the first time, there's a gravitational pull that will always win out over time. Maybe, after I've passed away, the pink fog will dissipate. Maybe.

[DarciInTx]

I'm seeing a counselor about this issue now. As she asks, Have you considered what this will cost you if you're caught? Are you willing to pay that price?

I've walked away from it for a while, but I seem to end up being drawn back to it. It's like an addiction.

[Veronica4me]

Darci, honey, what exactly does your counsellor mean about "getting caught" and "paying the price?" Caught being true to yourself? It sounds like he/she is trying to shame you into changing, rather than helping lead you to a solution. It may be time to look for another therapist who is not going to be judgemental and will be supportive despite the differences he / she may have in their clothing preferences.

[Glenda58]

Try many times the best I could do was 3 yrs. And when it came back it was stronger than ever. So no I can't stop and don't ever want to.

[DarciInTx]

Veronica, no, she (my counselor) is not trying to shame me or be judgmental. I am still very much "closeted". My wife has virtually no idea, and my wife IS judgmental. So if she "caught" me, it could very well be the end of our marriage, along with a whole lot else (friends, finances, etc.)

So she's simply trying to help me face the realities and the choices I'm making.

[Veronica4me]

Darci, have you tried discussing the idea in general? Wouldn't it be worse if your wife finds out without your having brought it up? If it's a part of who you are, wouldn't it be better to start the conversation so it doesn't become a time bomb?

[KatrinaK]

Do we really need to have this exact same conversation every month?

Here’s my short answer, and it’s going to be as unpopular as all my long answers on the same topic.

If you’re a full-presentation crossdresser, the chances are 99/100 that you fit one of the following two descriptions:

1) You have some varying degree of gender dysphoria
2) You have some varying degree of gender dysphoria and refuse to accept it.

I exclude all the MIADs in that statement because I don’t understand that phenomenon well enough to comment.

[Princess Chantal]

Oh my, that makes me a 1%’er...

[KatrinaK]

I’ll bite on that Chantal. Why do you present as a woman? You’ve obviously invested a tremendous amount of time in fully presenting because your presentation is impeccable. Why would you do that if you weren’t compelled? My specialist therapist has told me flat out that she believes ALL of us have some degree of GD. It comes in varying degrees and it does not mean that you need to even consider transitioning. I find way too much black and white thinking on the subject and as someone who is in intense therapy to find a way to confidently accept this side of myself (I identify as gender fluid at present) I find it incredibly frustrating that very few of us ask the difficult question: WHY?

[Veronica4me]

Katrina, I have no emotional and psychological identity issues with being a women. I have no problem being a man and dressing as one. I just love wearing sexy feminine clothes and dressing up.

[KymberlyOct]

I don't usually post in this section since I am TS and living as such for a couple of years but I just came over for a peek and the thread title interested me.

As I often say when I post, I believe gender is a spectrum which is why multiple groups exist on this site. Within those groups all of the individuals are different as well. As a late in life transitioner I can certainly relate to CD. I never thought I would transition.

I purged my clothes, makeup, prosthetic breasts etc many times over the years. IMHO I think there are many reasons people CD. Some purely as an expression of part of themselves, some as a sexual turn on and others is that they are dealing with issues of gender identity.

While I certainly do not want to claim that I know how anyone feels or what they want or believe I do suggest exploring your true thoughts and feelings about your dressing. I am certain that many or even most in this group are in touch with how they feel but if you feel some uncertainty, or if it is causing you distress. If you purge and then reacquire everything as I used to do you may want to ask yourself some deeper questions.

Just trying to be helpful.

[Princess Chantal]

Katrina,
You asked the question “why do I present as a woman?”. Well that is the thing I don’t present as a woman, I present as a crossdresser. How many women dress up in pantyhose, heels and dress to enjoy less than an hour in a coffee shop or go to the musuem or zoo and like experiences? It was seeing crossdressers doing these in that manner that inspired (inspires) me to do the same. Trust me, I went a few months to dig to see if it is more of a gender thing than a general interest. Those few months took the wind out of the sails - had no passion for the clothing I was wearing, the outings were not special any more and not fun, no drive to do consecutive days, etc.

[Rachel05]

There is nothing now that would make me want to stop dressing and that is because I don't want to, is it a choice? maybe, is it a necessity?? for me definitely and definitely because I truly love to be dressed, I love wearing feminine clothes I do it for me and no one else, I feel relaxed and at one with myself when dressed, just like I am now

It wasn't always that way of course, I went through the various stages that many of us go through to get to this place I am now and that is at peace being a cross dresser, the acceptance that it is part of my makeup (pardon the pun), part of who I am

It is 50 years for me now and it can only get even better it is definitely not a hobby but part of my life

[Roxanne Lanyon]

What a difficult question!
But, after hours of reflection, I have decided, I love, I mean "LOVE", being Roxanne. It is just the way I feel, especially in a public place, under the "unseeing" eyes of others, both men and women. I feel so normal in a dress! So pretty in make-up! So sweet and caring and nice in my frillies! I simply adore being that girl! At times I think about transitioning, but I just can't go that far (yet?). But I do love getting dressed, brushing my "artificial" hair, and shaving my legs and other more feminine areas. And when "he" looks at me, and smiles, I feel so warm and giddy all over! I DO adore that, too!
Being Roxanne - there is nothing better than that!
Roxanne Lanyon

"IN Love With My Femininity"

"In Love With My Femininity"

[Veronica4me]

Sounds wonderful, Roxanne! I love the process of dressing, too! And, changing, looking in the mirror, taking pictures, etc.!

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Isn't it so wonderful? What could be better than that?
Roxanne

[michele4848]

started to dress as a kid, even had sex with a boy as I was the girl, got caught by my mother dressed in her clothes, and shamed and whipped. my mother even pounded in my head that I ruined things for being born a boy, go figure. stopped dressing for about 10 years, got married. then urge came back and dressed while she was gone to work. end marriage #1, reasons many but none with dressing. marriage #2 many challenges, work hard to find and keep, 2 children from first go-round, but urge comes back. wife sort of okay with it. but then I stopped for about 5 years , urge again came back really big, even to the point of transition. end of marriage#2. purged everything, found lady on line and fell in love. packed up and moved almost 900 miles south. married and missed dressing but kept it under control. 2012 and end marriage #3. she passed away. couldn't dress because step daughter lives here. I do on occasion get time to dress with what little stuff I have, and I love it and don't plan to stop. I now have a set of breast forms, panties, a bra and pantyhose and panty girdle. stop. NEVER!

[Lea]

I did not choose to crossdress. My mother used to dress me and treat me as a girl until I reached school age.

That started my dressing. I am have gone long periods not dressing while in the military but have always gone back to it. I could stop however I would not be me and after awhile I would become frustrated and moody. So yes I would miss it.

[Confucius]

Patience, with respect to your original questions.

I believe that crossdressing is a need for me. However personally I don't believe I need to pass as a woman. I can be happy being a man-in-a-dress.

I've tried quitting cold turkey, and didn't dress for over ten years. However, everyday I would fantasize about the day I could crossdress again. I would look at catalogs and admire the feminine clothing. I always knew that I would be happier if I was free to crossdress. The compulsion to crossdress was constant.

Sometimes I think my life would have been so much easier if I never had a desire crossdress. However, we all have to accept ourselves for what we are. I don't believe my crossdressing is a choice. I crossdress because I need to, and in doing so, it makes me happy.

[Lacey New]

I don’t consider my cross dressing as a choice. It is certainly an ingrained behavior that for some reason, I keep coming back to. I don’t know why I am a cross dresser and other men are not. I have been trying to find that answer for,years. What separates us fro the other 90%.

I have purged and not dressed for several years at a time for various reasons, bit I would still think about the time coming when i would be able to put on a pair of panties again. However, even though I like to underdress and dress fully on those rare occasions that I have, I still consider myself as totally male with no inclination to ever try to present or spend any extended time as a woman.

[Desiree2bababe]

I refrained for over 20 years while raising my children, there were times when I missed it enough to dress once or twice, only to purge right away. It was always on my mind however. I was certainly happy without it as I enjoy my male self as much as my alternate personality. I doubt any of us who started as a child can ever be cured of the desire. It's too bad it's still looked on as strange by most but it's getting better.......

[Rachelish]

Could I give this up? Yes. Could I give this up and be happy? I don't think so. Even though I have spent most of my life without it, it has now become a core part of who I am and I don't think I could find the same peace and contentment any other way.

Previously I often had a sense of being adrift and would find myself in situations where I should be happy but couldn't work out why I wasn't, often accompanied by bouts of depression and anxiety. Crossdressing does seem to provide a connection to something that grounds me.

Sometimes I think that this might be because it is uniquely mine. Noone else has a say in what I do, and I can, for a while, be just who I want to be. I do have a fear that if I let anyone close to me in on this it will break that and I'll no longer be able to find the same peace and contentment from it.

[Taylor186]

The urge, need, compulsion to crossdress is not a choice for me. How, when, where and how frequently I act on it is.

[ladydreamingdanish]

Earlier this year, I was commenting to a lady friend that I needed something to keep my legs warm during the cold winter walks across a large parking lot each day. I mentioned that I looked at men's pantyhose and are so expensive for one pair but ladies nylons are so much cheaper. She encourage me to buy a few pairs and try them so see how I felt wearing them. Then I realized that wearing nylons would feel better with shaved legs. Then she encouraged me, not demanded of me, but only suggested that I complement wearing nylons with wearing panties. From there went to wearing bras and makeup. But in my daily life, I am very careful to be discreet in not over-doing or else I could easily loose my contract job.
Over the months since, wearing feminine has replaced wearing masculine underwear. Even if not wearing a bra since it would show through my clothes, I will be wearing a cami to keep my chest feeling good.
I doubt if I could ever go cold turkey and just give it all up since it has become a habit that I enjoy and helps me to relax after the stress of a work day. The only reason I would quit cold turkey is if my health depended on it as I want to live to a old ripe age.
At the same time, I will not be a full time crossdresser as I am enjoying the appearance of having a woman within that likes to subtly display herself on the outside.

[kimdl93]

Danish, that’s an interesting conversation.

‘’To the OP, thats a question I’ve asked myself over and again. The truth is I would certainly miss dressing. It’s something deeply ingrained. I’m conflicted in that I know it’s just too much for most women...and I might have to abstain if I wish to sustain a relationship

[Alexandra Collins]

At 56 years old, I just started dressing 9 months ago. I've already met 3 local crossdressers who dress even though they've never told their wives and hidden it from them for years (30 years in one case!) or they've told their wife and she hates it and wants nothing to do with it, but he still has the urge to dress and goes out dressed without her knowing. I am amazed by these people, and have great sympathy for them. I cannot imagine being in their shoes. I told my significant other as soon as I started dressing and she has been very supportive, and even lent me her clothes, gone shopping for clothes with me, is teaching me about makeup, and has gone out with me most times I've been outside the house dressed. I cannot imagine doing all this in secret without my S.O. knowing, and her helping me. Based on the 3 people I described, it is clear to me that the urge to dress can be incredibly strong, in some men at least.

[Isabella Ross]

Short answer: no. I've felt the need and urge to be feminine since my earliest memories. I spent the first 40 years of my life suppressing that urge...and failing. I now see it for the gift it is. And I would never try to suppress it again because a) I would fail and b) why suppress something that gives you so much joy?

[DW]

Personally, I don't feel that I could just stop.
I wear something femme 24/7. Being forced to give that up would be a serious problem for me.
Being dressed femme is relaxing, and somehow comfortable. I am better able to control my temper, my reactions, and my sense of self, when enfemme.
I cannot speak for others, but I find being able to express my femme side both relaxing, and addicting.

[Nikki A.]

I missed a weekend of dressing and I feel horrible. So I guess I can't either.

[JayeDee]

I echo a lot of the replies to this thread: I enjoy "dolling-up" too much to give up that feminine feeling... Donning my size 8 breast forms, thigh-high stockings, a black male-pouch thong, and 4 inch heels, I feel so wonderfully sexy. My mirror has never looked so attractive. Lol . Nope, I will not give that up without a fight.
Jade

[Patience]

As I mentioned in other posts, I, like many others, repressed my urges for a long period of time for the benefit of others.

Since accepting this part of me, I almost don't understand that person I used to be. All the happiness I denied myself all these years. Wow, gotta make up for lost time. It feels good to finally be myself.

[sometimes_miss]

I think anyone who describes crossdressing as their 'hobby' does so loosely/tongue-in-cheek. I think you are right, that it is a compulsion.
Crossdressing doesn't respond to treatments for OCD. So perhaps it is for you, but not for a lot of the rest of us. Perhaps there's some connection, but there's definitely something else going on here.


I have no doubt that crossdressing is related to sexual behavior in some fashion, i.e., it is modulated by hormonal activity.
Why or how, I have no clue.
Out of curiosity, then what makes you sure that it's related to sexual behavior or hormonal activity?

[Sophiaro13]

I don't think I can stop if i wanted, I've tried several times and every time the urge comes back stronger and when i start dressing again i take another step forward and now present fully and have even gone out once. I can't picture a scenario where I could stop

[JulieB]

The urge, need, compulsion to crossdress is not a choice for me. How, when, where and how frequently I act on it is.

Totally agee, with what you said!

[Teresa]

Patience,
Thanks for carefully wording this question , I admit I did get a little heated some time ago when I saw a member refer to it as a hobby . You're right hobbies don't cause the heartache and despair associated with CDing and being TG .

Could I stop ? Twenty years ago I nearly ended my life over the response from wife so the answer is obvious , I've had a gut feeling from the age of 8-9 years and only put that feeling to rest . To stop now would make no sense, I've only just found a balance and become comfortable with it , I'm finally content and happy with my life .

Asking this question afresh makes some of us look inwardly at ourselves again , I'm sure my answer this time is different to my last .

Krisi,
You have made this comment before , possibly suggesting it's an addiction , that doesn't take into account your level of GD , knowing some of us are born with this trait , knowing it's never going away, denying it's part of your being . The clothes wearing isn't the whole story , to me it's a window to my inner needs, Teresa is a real person not something I can or want to pack away when I tire of her .

[Brocdol]

For me its not a choice its something that i feel/need to do. Over the years I've tried stopping multiple times but somehow i end up back dressing up.
So now im just trying to except and understand why i like dressing, and i have this urge too.

So could i quit and not miss it? No.

[Rebekah_uk]

After fighting the urge for many years (20 to be exact). I decided to find peace instead and came out to my wife in 2014.

As I have two young children I don’t get to dress anywhere near as much I would like. Also my wife has gone from being okay seeing dressed to not okay. So I have to wait for when she goes out alone and the kids are in bed.

But all my clothes are hung neatly in the closet and she’s okay with me shaving my legs and body so I find some solace in that. Hopefully we will get back to where we were before.

So as for the original question could I give up the answer is no. As trying not to do this made into miserable person.

[Georgia K]

For me it's been a compulsion from an early age I've managed to supress it for a long time . But now I cant and the desire to dress more often and go further with it is increasing daily . The guilt I feel is incredible but I just cant help it

[Shely]

Sure I could quit, again and again and again.

[Wildaboutheels]

I am sure that the members here could really have a go at what the word addiction means.

Or doesn't mean. I doubt if anyone here doesn't have some addiction or another? (Mine is sugar. SO WHAT?) Or hobby or hobbies. Are some, any or all hobbies addictive? What do ALL hobbies have in common. The activity causes various CHEMICALS to be released in the brain. Feel good chemicals Some here are obviously addicted to buying clothes, panties, purses, dresses. Clearly for ONLY home dressing or pics. CDing IS JUST a hobby here for many. Hundreds have declared it over many years in these very Forums.Whether one goes out or not is irrelevant.

Now repeat after me....

Just because it is a hobby or addiction for SOME, does not mean it is a hobby for ALL.. Or that it takes anything away from members for which it goes to their very core.

ALL CDers are Human = ALL CDers are unique = THERE IS NO WRONG WAY!

Accept that fact and set yourself free.

[Michelle1955]

My response is a Necessary.I have accepted over the years that this is who I am started 58 years ago at a very young age. JCP and Sears catalog going straight to the bras, panties, and cloths.

[Rochal Tukque]

Purged my stuff many times and every time I felt I had cut a part of me out and put it in the trash with clothes! Just hanging my girl back in the closet after a outing and knowing how long it will till the next time is a real bum trip. Can't dress where I live.

[Brandi Christine]

I have crossdressed since I was a little boy, I finally quit when I got married in 2003, but the urge was always there, and twice during that time I went out and bought minimal clothes and dressed while on business trips, then purged…

About 2008 something snapped, and while unable to dress up I virtually crossdressed (using photoshop) but over the last few years it worked less and less at fulfilling the need in me, and my desire to become more feminine overtook me again.


Two years ago I started again, am very in the closet, but absolutely love it when I can dress fully (which happens very infrequently unfortunately) and am more or less happy where I'm at for now, but am not sure where the journey is going to take me from here… What I do know is I can never quit.

[Lindseynrva]

I too have dressed since a boy playing in moms clothes. Just at home occasionally had a dressing friend but mostly a solitary thing. I’d purge, swear it off only to get back to it again later. I’ve enjoyed it, it’s not something my SO wants anything to do with so I keep it packed away but I do dress multiple times a week. I did begin getting breast forms a few years ago and will say anyone on the fence about getting good mastectomy forms vs cheap ones well, you get what you pay for. Comfort, shape and sizes are amazing. I have several and some days I think being a cross dresser beats beating a real girl because sometimes I wanna be Betty Boop with nice big breasts but other days small and perky really fits the mood!

Variety is the spice of life and cross dressing is our drug!

[Jayne44C]

I've stopped like many of us, for various reasons. The desire/need/want to dress never has. I liken it to the imaginary characters that were constantly in the mind of John Nash from the movie "A Beautiful Mind". I've been able to curb the desire but, never have I been successful in burying it....never.

[Patience]

I find that it’s easier to control the urges if one has an outlet for the urge to dress; preferably something regular.

Thank you all for your replies.

[rhonda]

It starts out a choice then becomes a necessity , after awhile it becomes permanent lifestyle . those who think they can quit are in for a surprise when they try

[SexyErica]

Not sure how to put this. A controlled necessity I guess. Since I started dressing fully and going out partial dressing just doesn't do anything for me anymore. Therefore my opportunities got fewer and farther between. There's times I've got to go months without dressing. The urge and desire to dress never goes away but for my job and family I understand it's what needs to be done. Yes I've tried quitting altogether many times over the years and like most here have found it can't be done. The desire always comes back.

[Sallee]

I like the term HOBBY although it is a little more compulsion than stamp collecting. Ber a crossdresser is just part of how I am I am many things, we all are. I have quit cold turkey, purging, and that is not recommended because the need comes back. But we all know that.
I just call it a hobby because it is easy but not something I put on my resume

[Alexis00]

I think anyone who describes crossdressing as their 'hobby' does so loosely/tongue-in-cheek. I think you are right, that it is a compulsion (albeit one that tends to come and go for many of us) that can be controlled, but not stopped at will. Certainly I have tried, and would try to quit again if I thought it was possible, not due to how I feel about myself, but how I think future and current relationships will be/could be affected because of my needs.I joined here to help figure out how and how much it can or should be part of future relationships.

But I’ve decided to be honest about this part of me before I get in a serious relationship, as concealing it didn’t work.

[Raychel]

For me, I guess crossdressing help my mood in thise down times.
I find when I am in the company of good people, with good friends
having a good time, then my desire to crossdress is almost gone.

But as soon as those times are over, watch out, :daydreaming:

Been almost 24/7 lately. :doh:

[BeccaB]

As far as it being a choice or necessity on a day to day basis, it could be either. Sometimes I’ll get home and put something relaxing on because I choose to - not because I “need” to. But sometimes the urge is so much that I know I need to put something on as soon as I can. But I think, ultimately, even when I feel it’s a choice it’s because it’s based on it being a necessity.

[adelinapa]

Hmmm ... yes, no and sometimes to both.

I need to express my feminine side, but I don't need to CD to do that. Sometimes I can just dance slinkily to Jessie J's "Price Tag" while I'm cooking or curl up to an tearjerker movie or whatever.

Dressing makes it easier, and feel more complete but I don't think I need to dress on a daily or even weekly basis. I just liiiiiiiiiike it better when I am. :)

I do feel like I have this urge, big picture to need to do it at some level, else I wouldn't have had left and returned to it so many times.

[Crissy 107]

Adel, I love the last line in your post. So many of us can identify with it.

[adelinapa]

Adel, I love the last line in your post. So many of us can identify with it.

I know right? Like, it's not like it's what the popular kids are doing these days. We all come back for a reason, and that reason isn't because we like to buy clothes that we'll probably throw away next year in a purge over the course of 30 years.

[Patience]

Not sure how to put this. A controlled necessity I guess.

A controlled necessity...or an uncontrolled choice?

I understand there are many “all or nothing” dressers. While I'd like to always dress to my maximum potential, realties of life preclude that option. Also as my “maximum potential” is evolving with my skills, I feel happy if I can get even a little bit in on a given day. Who knows, just doing that one little thing might lead to a breakthrough which might not have happened otherwise.

[CynthiaD]

I need to look into the mirror and see myself looking back at me. Since I am mentally and emotionally female, crossdressing is a way to achieve that. Could I stop and never do it again? Yes. Could I be happy doing that? Absolutely not! It would make me utterly and totally miserable.

[RainbowDash]

Absolutely not! I'm in way too deep to turn back now! Crossdressing has become a part of my daily routine, and every time I dress up and start to feel all feminine, I feel a lot of the stress in my body just leave. I would have to say its probably become somewhat of an addiction for me as well.
I could give it up for a few days, and actually went without crossdressing for a couple of weeks after I lost my job. But giving it up entirely? No way, and certainly not for an extended period of time. As for purging? NO NO NO TIMES A BILLION!!! Way too much of my hard earned cash has been spent on clothes to just throw them away!

[fun4metoo2004]

For me it is what I am. I have only once gone out in public, and with great success. I do not find lots of time to dress fully, as my Son just moved back in. I have not talked with him about it so I am unsure how he would take it if I was to dress daily in and around the house full time.

It is a Need more than anything else. I found it very empowering when I went out. So much so that I am focused on learning my makeup skills now. I also want to go have some professional photos done en femme. Next years goal. Makeup first!

[JennyLiz]

Nothing is more exciting than Model trains......Maybe Aquariums. Although I have been forbidden from having either of them.

For me Crossdressing is not a choice it is a necessity. As a man I am embarrassed in my own skin. I have never felt comfortable as a man I tried to compensate with other means but it never felt right. While dressed I am comfortable with who I am, and with how I look. I never felt like that before, and I hate it. I am happy with me the way I am now. I am not 24/7, pretty much I get to be me outside of work, while there I have to be "him". I do were my forms, and underdress 24/7. But I can only wear my real face on the weekends and at night if I am not to tired to change.

The change also involves a change in the way of thinking. I have a more relaxed mindset while dressed.

[Kaylakutts]

I go through periods were I dont dress but I realize it's always going to be part of my life, I cant imagine not having the option not being able to dress up

[JenniferLynn0370]

I have crossdressed all my life; I went through bouts of guilt and purges (MAN I wish I hadn't), and just knew I'd grow out of it or that something like getting married, having kids, a professional career, etc would be all I needed to make me stop...well, it didn't. Every time I tried to stop, the urge, desire, and utter NEED to dress came right back and seemed stronger each time. I eventually realized this is just who I am and embraced it. I have come to appreciate, adore and love my femininity. So, for me, it is not a choice; it is life and I love it!

[Lexigurl]

The necessity of it has come and gone over the years. I don't feel a need or compulsion nearly as much as I did when I was much younger. It depends on what is going on in my life, my stress-level, and who is in my life. Can I quit it permanently? I've been around long enough to know that's not a realistic option. I think I would miss it sometimes if it was a choice, but I wouldn't miss it if I could actually quit it. That may not make sense, but controlling it, the past guilt/shame, and such, is all baggage carried around with me. It's lighter than it used to be, but it's still there, and I would love to drop that off for good.

[Mykaa]

I have quit to a degree for periods of time, but its always in the back of my mind and always comes back to some degree or another. I know this is a part of me and I accepted, I enjoy different things day to day, jeans are a daily and not a second thought to them. I bought satin sheets a few years ago and realized wearing satin helps keep them from slipping off the bed lol

[wendy]

answer = no, neither do I want to quit cold turkey or quit period.

I had to stop CD a few years back due to medical issues, but that didn't mean I stopped thinking about it. When my wife and I were just common law, I didn't tell her about my female side at that time, so I made a conscious decision to stop. After a short while that didn't last and Wendy came back even stronger.

[nylon boy]

Once a cross dresser always a cross dresser imo ! It can’t be locked away or stopped it’s a part of you and always will be !

The desire to femme up will never go away, it’s such an amazing thing to be able to transform in to your female alter ego. I only go out as Stephie once or twice a year but that’s all I need and if I couldn’t do that I’d lose my mind !

Going out in my new dress heels and silky sheer nylons is a must and the best thing I’ve ever done and I wouldn’t stop it for the world and no Crossdresser ever should x

[Patience]

I’m attending a couple of events dressed this weekend. The first one was planned a month in advance, the second one I’m doing because the opportunity presented itself.

I find that if I do it a lot when I can, I don’t miss it as much during the odd dry spells.

I remember the first few times I went out, it was such a rush. Now, it’s still a thrill, but being out is no longer enough. I feel I must be doing something while crossdreed, like doing DJ work, visiting a new restaurant or something like that.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Patience :hugs:, I have been in this program for 72years now, It is just who I am and it I just what I do.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid ..O:daydreaming:O..

[Tiffany_S]

Necessity. I used to think it was choice, as many of us did, but have since come to realize I cannot ‘choose’ to eliminate this part of me. When I did that, I decided to see how far I was willing to take my dressing... and since learned I really want to pass more and more. Too bad my lifestyle doesn’t allow it :(

[Stephanie Lynne]

I accepted who I am years ago. I thoroughly enjoy my girl time. Just never enough of it though.

[Patience]

I go through periods were I dont dress but I realize it's always going to be part of my life, I cant imagine not having the option not being able to dress upI know what you mean. Since accepting this part of me, I don't understand how I could have suppressed it for so long.

[Julie Martin]

[QUOTE=KatrinaK;4301748]Do we really need to have this exact same conversation every month?

Some of us are only on here very infrequently..I am finding reading all these posts very helpful..just FYI

- - - Updated - - -

[QUOTE=Alexandra Collins;4303762]At 56 years old, I just started dressing 9 months ago.

I'd be interested to hear what triggered this at age 56...and you look amazing, you must have done your homework!

[TolerantCD]

Until recently, through the information I have been able to find, I have understood that crossdressers express a feminine side of themselves by taking on a feminine appearance. That made sense to me because I felt that it aptly described my situation. It still does.

I was also aware that it is not unusual for crossdressers to have a love-hate relationship with their dressing. I've seen folks describing their crossdressing urges as a tapeworm, a source of stress, grounds for separation and divorce, and...a choice/hobby? The latter description came as a bit of a surprise.

Now, I'm not disputing the fact that crossdressing can be a lot of fun and that some people choose to crossdress occasionally for comical effect, but I didn't imagine that those types would feel the need to discuss their dressing in a forum like this. With all the headaches and social prejudices we have to endure, not to mention the danger, I could not imagine anyone wanting to seriously pursue this activity without a very strong compulsion to do so. I mean, crossdressing may be more humane than hunting and more exciting than model trains, but it's an unusual thing to choose for a pastime, isn't it? Granted, the act of dressing may be a choice, but the urge to dress certainly isn't.

So I ask to those who consider dressing a choice: Could you just quit cold turkey and be perfectly happy not dressing ever again?
I understand there might be many folks who have allegedly already answered a similar question in older threads. I'm posting this thread in the off-chance that some new folks with interesting insights may have joined the forum since then. Thanks.

I don’t think we can do that, I’m afraid. I enjoy it and frankly I would wish for society to not care than for these urges to disappear, they’re really fun, who needs vanilla anyway? There’s already plenty of that in everyday life, we only live once.

[KimberlyJean]

I have quit 11 times for periods of six months to a year, wait no those were deployments. If I could have walked away from being female I would have. It is who I am, you can't quit being right handed. You can practice and make your left hand really good but you will always be right handed. We don't want to be like those weird left handed people anyway. Then there are those that use both hands equally well "ambidextrous" oh the shame. Is there a sarcasm font I can type in?

I can't quit being me.

[Nicole Bernard]

I don't think I could ever quit. Sometimes I physically yearn for it. Like I feel physical discomfort if I can't do it. Which sucks because I'm in the closet and my SO doesn't know. I only dress once or twice a year.

Like others have said, it's a part of me. I can't stop being me in some way.

[ReneeTD]

I doubt I could quit completely and forever. I have no designs to do so, quite the contrary, I try to do so at least several times a month with pictures to prove to myself I did. There is, with me, a strange mixture of acceptance and non-acceptance. I still keep it to myself for that later issue. I find it irritating that the social dynamic frowns upon it, but neither would I give it up. It's an essential existential condition that is bound up in my psyche and self image. In my younger days, I thought it was just a fetish, but as that aspect has waned the actual desire has strengthened, so I must conclude that it is something more.

[Tina B.]

Like so many others there was a time I went years without dressing. But 42 years ago I came out to my wife, who only had one thing to sat about it. “ so what’s the big deal.” Then we went shopping, never thought of giving up since, never really thought I Could. But then I’ve been dressing since I was 6 years old.

[suchacutie]

For 55 years I didn't know Tina existed. Now that she is a part of us, it would be like cutting off a body part to have Tina go away! She is in the fabric of life so even when I've not been in a situation to transform into Tina (as has been the case recently), she's still alive and well!

[StefaniLara]

I tried quitting when I was around 27, and spent about a decade denying this part of me. I was miserable the entire time, as though I was missing the best part of me. I can honestly say that no, I cannot quit. To do so would mean dying a little every day.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I guess my best answer is that I don't want to stop. I enjoy everything about it. It took me years to accept this part of me.

I've crossdressed for over 50 years and I've never stopped or purged. I don't think I could stop.

My wife is not happy with my crossdressing. I keep thinking that she's going to ask me to stop, maybe even demand that I stop. If she were to give me an ultimatum to the effect of, "Pick me or the crossdressing", she may not get the answer she would be hoping for.

[~Renee~]

The simple truth is all of us could choose to stop expressing and go cold turkey. I did for 30 years, but you are going to pay a price to yourself. So for those of you who for whatever reason are forced into a retreat I suggest you find a way to express yourself in some tiny manor. Holding back yourself completely is unwise and unhealthy. I'm so much better because I stopped letting society dictate to me my conventions.

[Patience]

Do we really need to have this exact same conversation every month?Of course not. People can abstain if they choose.

Besides, there’s new folk joining all the time. We shouldn’t deny them just because we’ve been here longer.

[JennaDcd]

As much as I have tried over the years to stop crossdressing and be a "normal" guy, I just can't. And I'm ok with that. I'm in my early 40s and have been enjoying it, particularly panties and lingerie, since I was 6 or so. It's never going away. It's like some of the old school thinking of, "Oh my! So and so is gay?!? Well you get him a good girl and that'll knock the gay right out of him!" Same goes for crossdressing. This is who I am, this is who we all are. The desire to do it is not going to go away.

[abbiedrake]

Of course not. People can abstain if they choose.

Besides, there’s new folk joining all the time. We shouldn’t deny them just because we’ve been here longer.

Thanks for this, Patience.
My wife joined in the last day or two and these are precisely the kind of things she might want to know. (She's knocked out at the mo otherwise I'd shut the hell up and let her say it!)

- - - Updated - - -

As for myself, yes, I believe I could abstain. However, I see no reason to do so and I'd prefer not to have to.
My wife isn't accepting it well but neither does she want me unhappy. So we're working it out. But I've made it clear that if it's Abbie or my wife then Wifeling wins every time. I did tell her that. I was also honest enough to say that there would likely be the odd backslide over the years if I tried to abstain. And that we'd have to deal with those times as they arose.

I'd just hate for it to come to that. So in answer the second part. Yes, yes I would miss it. Terribly.

[Felicia M]

Could I quit cold turkey and be happy?

I went through a period in life from 2004 to 2017 where I never dressed. I was married in 2004 and divorced a few years later (nothing to do with cd) but then came the financial crisis and life became pretty intense for a period of time. Slowly but surely though as life got back to normal it all came rushing back into my life. Yes I had gone cold turkey but at the same time I missed it terribly. It has been a part of my life since my memories began at age 4.

Now I am much more attuned to my subconscious feelings and my desires. I enjoy dressing, feeling feminine and vulnerable, immensely. It is never going away and I am completely at ease with that. I feel that dark period made me truly appreciate what I was missing and I would never want that in my life again.

[Patience]

You’re welcome Abbie. Glad the info's useful.

I’ve seen some of your wife’s posts. It’s great that she joined.

[alice one day]

Quite a poignant question for me as I have recently come out to my SO. She is still processing it. It made us do a lot of talking which was really good and improved our relationship in many ways but the jury is still out on my cross dressing. While not totally against it she is not happy and occasionally brings it up. Over the past few weeks I have been going over this question in my mind and not dressing. I have come to the conclusion for me its like a drug -I need it and I miss it. Where that takes me in the future I don't know. So in answer to the question I know I can't quit and not miss it.

[BrendaPDX]

Not a choice for me. Tried, even purged three times (I mean everything!), gone for several months only to find myself in a thrift store short in breath with shaking hands looking at dresses, skirts, or shoes. I have even dressed in the garage just for a few minutes and thrown the dress out the same day, but it never completely stops, never. So DADT me and my wife. Now I can go and read the other seven pages of this post!!!

[Mickitv]

A question I ask myself very often. However, I do agree with many of the comments "Crossdressing is not a choice." It is who I am and I just love it.

[Vinyl Girl]

If I had to give it up for some unknown reason, I'd be a mighty unhappy person! I absolutely love being dressed, for me it's not only very satisfying, but a real "rush" too! I feel a lot more comfortable being dressed as a woman than I do as a man! My wish is that some day I will find a like minded individual to share it with.

[sometimes_miss]

It starts out a choice then becomes a necessity , after awhile it becomes permanent lifestyle . those who think they can quit are in for a surprise when they try
Not so much. I think for some (like me) it really depends upon our life's situations at the moment. Numerous crossdressers have quit for a decade or more. So it's not unheard of.

I like the term HOBBY although it is a little more compulsion than stamp collecting.
It's not a compulsion, at least, not for the vast majority of us. Crossdressing does not generally respond to treatment for OCD. So there's something else going on. I personally think that it's something related to our self identification; at some point, we get 'cross wired' to feel that we're supposed to look (and often, feel & behave) as females, even though for the most part we're still stuck with stereotypical male ways of experiencing the world as well as male styles of communication and bonding (see: Barbara and Alan Pease book, 'Why men don't listen and women can't read maps' for further information on how men and women are mentally different).

I need to look into the mirror and see myself looking back at me.
^this seems to be a very common feeling, demonstrated by the huge number who like to take pictures of themselves dressed as women.
Perhaps they look way more convincing than I do? Because there's no way I could ever appear to be the pretty female that I feel like I'm supposed to be; the appearance of the Shrek shaped character in the mirror completely ruins the illusion of being female for me.

Nothing is more exciting than Model trains......Maybe Aquariums. Although I have been forbidden from having either of them.
Wow that must be a real drag. Trains have become a major focus of my life in my spare time. Real trains as well as model trains, having a train station in town where I can bring my lunch and watch the trains go by. At night when alone, setting up a nice long model train and fooling around with them for hours at a time. Maybe you can join a model railroad club and keep your trains there? My club has lockers available to keep our belongings in. That might be an option?


For me Crossdressing is not a choice it is a necessity. As a man I am embarrassed in my own skin. I have never felt comfortable as a man I tried to compensate with other means but it never felt right.
Similar here; there's always this subtle, underlying feeling that I'm in the wrong clothes when I'm dressed as a male. So when I go out of the house, I always need to feel that I'm wearing my 'man' costume, to do whatever chore that needs to be done while I'm masquerading as a 'real man'.


But I can only wear my real face on the weekends and at night if I am not to tired to change.The change also involves a change in the way of thinking. I have a more relaxed mindset while dressed.
^this. But, my thinking doesn't change. It's when I'm in my 'man' uniform that my thinking changes a bit, in order to play the part of a standard issue male, so I appear that way to the outside world.

[Michelle1955]

No, I been dressing for basically 58 years.

[BTWimRobin]

Necessity. I am in a much better head space when I do.

[Denise walker]

I have accepted the fact I'm a crossdresser and feel more comfy when dressed. O tend to be more trans I identify as a female and no I can stop

[leotard fan]

For me, more than a choise, more than a necessity, CD is my life. quit CD do not make sense. big hug to you all.

[Amanda77]

For me its a no i couldn't stop cding. I've been attracted to female clothing all my life and have no desire to give it up. Im attracted to females but have been single all my life. The desire is less at times but the thought of dressing is always with me and im always underdressed.

[rochelle77]

This has never been a choice to me. I've tried to quit many times but I haven't been able to. At 43 i've finally accepted that it is a part of me. I don't want to feel guilty about it anymore. I don't want to be grossed out by it any more. I'm not saying i'm completely there yet, but i'm slowly accepting that it's a part of me and it makes me feel good.

[ellbee]

I personally think that it's something related to our self identification; at some point, we get 'cross wired' to feel that we're supposed to look (and often, feel & behave) as females, even though for the most part we're still stuck with stereotypical male ways of experiencing the world as well as male styles of communication and bonding...

And where that point is, when we become "cross-wired," your guess is as good as any.


I couldn't tell you what was going on with me during my pre-memory days... But I recall around the age of 3 or 4, being very drawn to the styles, colors, prints, fabrics & touch of my mother's (and other women's) clothes. Like, just this automatic, natural & strong attraction to them -- assuming moreso than most boys that age? :strugglin


Sadly, I didn't actually get the opportunity to wear any girl-clothes until age 6... My GG-neighbor friend certainly got a weird chuckle out of that one! :heehee:

Though I'm sure if I had a sister, it would have been much earlier than that. ;)


I'm not a believer in that once a male tries on his first article of female clothing or whatever, that he's now "hooked for life." From what I understand, a decent amount of them may have tried it once or twice at some point, for whatever reason... However, some of them *don't* end up eventually becoming regular CD'ers, like the rest of us do! Why is that?

Why & when did that switch turn on for us, but not the others? Or is there even a switch, to begin with? Maybe it's permanently stuck in the "on" position? Honestly, I don't feel like I've *ever* had the option or ability to intentionally shut it off... That I've been this way for as long as I can remember.

Did something happen sometime during my pre-memory days? Or how about when I was still in the womb? Or even at the time of conception? No clue. And I'll never know.


Just the way things turned out. So, might as well try to make the best of it?


The physical & even psychological aspect of it has come & gone throughout my life... But it has *always* returned, no matter what I tried.

Yep, I'm stuck with it, for better or worse. No doubt about that.


Honestly, these days if I were forced to have a minimum "baseline" for all this? Panties, leggings & a tight stretchy top -- while in guy-mode. Wear 'em a bit before bed, wear that *to* bed, and for a bit after I wake up. As it stands now, I could probably make do with that for the rest of my life, if I *really* had to.

Oh, and as little body hair as possible, heh. Then again, even some non-CD'ing guys do that, so... :strugglin


But I'm no fool, and I've been around the block a few times. Fully understand that sometimes the intensity or whatever can & does change. For example, never thought I'd buy another wig & some make-up for the rest of my life. But back in January? BAM! Done & done. And while I'm glad I now have that option again, oddly enough I've only worn that stuff 2 or 3 times since. Go figure.


Anyway, I dunno. For those who think they can beat this whole thing, good luck to them, I say. Hey, maybe they can & will -- and be perfectly content. Everyone is different. I can only speak from my personal experience, and of my observations of others. And I will say that it is basically ingrained in many of us.

Eh, whatever. Could be worse, heh.

[Nic J]

Could i suddenly abandon CDing and never go back to it? Quite simply: no i couldn't.:brokenheart:
Over the last few years, since i came-out to my wife, we have both gradually become more comfortable with my gender expression. The thought of leaving this path and being permanently forced back into the traditional masculine stereotype would be more than i could possibly bear. My wife commented this week that one reason she is ok with my CDing is that i seem so much happier these days.

[Elizabeth G]

Could I stop dressing? It would be extremely difficult if not impossible. Could I stop wanting to dress? Absolutely impossible. Do I want to stop dressing? No, I enjoy it and I'm in a good place with it.

[Ressie]

It's at about level 3 of Maslow's hierarchy in my case. Not necessary for survival but necessary for happiness.

[suzanne]

Necessity is not a word I would use, but I would definitely miss dressing if I couldn't do it. My femme side is really the majority of my personality and the BEST part of who I am. Furthermore, she has been suppressed, even hated for so much of my life she now deserves to be free. And she's not unreasonable either. She understands that I have played the alpha male role for so long that it's a part of me that people still expect to see him. Sometimes.

[Patience]

Necessity. I am in a much better head space when I do.I don't know about "Better" for me, but at least different; It's a place I like to visit from time to time.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

I love dressing up. I hate that so many people don't like those of us that do. It wasn't something I tried out of nowhere on a whim.

Any woman who tells her man to give it up but stay with her better hope no one in the house has clothes anywhere close to his size!

I am amazed at everyone here who posts that they repressed it for decades. My wife sometimes calls me a monk for my ability to put up with just about anything, but I don't have the self control to abandon this part of me.

As for the old threads covering the same area, if they're locked we can't post, and that's the joy of being here to me, you can imagine someone is listening and is sympathetic. I know I'm getting lots of feels from reading posts from the sisters here.

Every time someone here says something friendly to me it's just so heartwarming to someone who's hidden all these years. Even when gurls are basically scolding me saying it's time to make some hips and go dancing it feels good.

[BTWimRobin]

Patience, The more I think about it ... I certainly feel that both my female and male sides coexist much better. My wife has noticed that I have been a much happier person since I've been dressing. I have also been less stressed and I feel like a whole person.

[Janine cd]

I have been crossdressing for nearly 70 years. It would be impossible to think of stopping any time. I have come to accept it as a permanent part of who I am.

[chrissietoo]

I don't have an answer to give, but I've read through every post and relished how each of us feels the desire to dress, and honors that desire in whatever way we are moved and able to do. I'm so delighted and warmed to listen to that desire as it passes through each one of us. :)

[CoralReef]

The hardest thing is to get rid of stuff. I go back and forth but I have a lot of clothes and accessories make up and more.......I'd always somehow go back for more. Even if it's for five minutes after the outfit and make up are on. forever dress...

[Ally 2112]

It is not that we have a choice i think ? .It is that i will never not be able to stop nor will i want to

[NitaCD]

For me there is no choice. It is just the nice part of my life that has always been there for me and hopefully always will be. I guess I would considered my dressing to be a necessity if I want to continue to enjoy life and be happy. I can't say that I have ever really "quit" but I have stop dressing for a while and found that missed it too much to ever give it up completely.

[Patience]

Patience, The more I think about it ... I certainly feel that both my female and male sides coexist much better. My wife has noticed that I have been a much happier person since I've been dressing. I have also been less stressed and I feel like a whole person.

I too have been happier since I’ve accepted and acted on my dressing.

The funny thing is now I’ve gone out a bunch of times and come out to a lot of my friends, I don’t really feel the need to do it as much. Maybe it would get old (for me, anyway) if I did it all the time.

[Alice Torn]

I would rather i never had this inclination and strong compulsion, but i have tried to sstop so many times, and it does not go away completely, and seems to get stronger. and i never had any chance for marriage. Rather than end my life, i have come to accept it is a part of me, but i must master it and keep it under control, and not let if take over everything and ruin my life.

[Dani0948]

Since nearly everyone on the forum has reponded to this post, I didn't want to feel left out. To answer the question - I stopped dressing for nearly 20 years, but the desire never went away. Now I dress as often as I can.

[Bobbi46]

Who wants to stop? is this not what our whole lives rotate around? the pleasure and the contentment of living a long yearned (for some) for lifestyle, to live in peace and harmony with our selves and oiur suroundings.

[VS Fan]

Since nearly everyone on the forum has reponded to this post, I didn't want to feel left out.

Haha thought the same thing Dani :)

For me this started as an adolescent and later as an adult (with about ten years between) as a means to acquire that which I lacked: the feelings of closeness to a woman.

That said, if I found a woman I was attracted to, who dressed sexy (at least some of the time) and met all my physical and emotional needs on a (very) regular basis (not just sex, but cuddling etc), I would likely feel less inclination to dress. However would that stop me entirely? Not sure, since over the years I have become “addicted” to it, and its hard to say if the original needs being met would override the new “habit” of it.

I would try if the situation arose, but the situation arising is as likely as winning the lotto when you don’t play...

[Traci H]

As Dani said, it seems everyone has responded to this long running thread so I felt the need to jump in too. I have just finished reading virtually all the responses and felt a kinship with the responders. I have struggle with crossdressing for much of my life. Certainly if it was not there, life might be easier. However at this point I cannot imagine what that would be like. I have quit for about ten years going back about three years ago. I felt it was causing me too much anxiety and stressing out my wife. Eventually however I came to accept myself and for the most part the anxiety has departed. This forum has helped greatly in that regard.

I contemplate quitting from time to time as my wife expresses her dissatisfaction with the behavior. Part of it is the amount of items I have accumulated. So I pack some of that away to keep the in your face part low key. I would like to think I can quit. The reality is I could not. Abstain for a bit yes, but it always comes back.

[April Rose]

Did quit it, for several years, some years ago. I decided that life was better with it, and haven't changed my mind since.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

i would love to stop dressing and be "normal" but i guess normal is me dressing as it is a compulsion that has complete control over me

[Sometimes Steffi]

So, what does it really mean to quit crossdressing?

Just stop dressing?

Or stop thinking about dressing?

Could I go a week without:

Seeing a GG wearing some article of clothing or jewelry, without wanting it for myself?
Walking through a retail store, say Macy's, without looking at the latest women's styles?
Reading some posts this forum?

To the last three, no, no and no. They are on autopilot now and part of my daily life.

If I admit to that, could I continue doing those three things and not try on any clothes.

Very doubtful.

Unlike some, I never really had a pause in my crossdressing, except maybe in my mid to late teens when I first discovered girls. I know; I was a late bloomer. At that point I might have be more interested getting into their panties than getting into panties.

[michelleg]

To answer the question, no I wouldn't want to quit. I have been dressing since I was a teen and I still love everything about it. I am very happy to be a crossdresser. Thanks for posting such a good question it was nice to think about how much I like it.

[Jane G]

To me personally, cross dressing is like sports. I am what many would term a keep fit junky. I was a Keen cyclist for many years. Have not lifted my bike off the wall for 20 now. I regularly played golf, from early teens, untill I was in my 40s. Not lifted a club out my bag since. I would surft every swell I could make, from aged 35 to 54. Not surfed one wave since. Right now my sports are walking he high hills and rock climbing.

The point of this ramble. I may have stopped cycling, golf and surfing. All of which I enjoyed for many years. But I have never been able to give up playing sports. It's there in my DNA, no getting away from it. Simple realy.

[Patience]

So, what does it really mean to quit crossdressing?

Just stop dressing?

Or stop thinking about dressing?

Could I go a week without:

Seeing a GG wearing some article of clothing or jewelry, without wanting it for myself?
Walking through a retail store, say Macy's, without looking at the latest women's styles?
Reading some posts this forum?

To the last three, no, no and no. They are on autopilot now and part of my daily life.

Mine too, except that between my work schedule and my home life, things have come to a grinding halt. Yes, I still think about it and want to do it, but I think doing three makeovers in a period of six months somehow scratched that itch for a while. I’m planning my fourth makeover this month and plan to go to work fully dressed on Halloween.

A friend who knows of my dressing asked me about it and I told her that my fem persona had gone on a trip to find herself. It’s kind of true. I feel she’ll come back with a vengeance, though, and I’m looking forward to it.

[soyangela]

Being a newbie on this site I like the question. Since I can remember I've wanted to wear women's clothes. Most of my early life I would dress when ever I could get a hold of women's clothes, meaning not very often. But when I could I really enjoyed the feeling. In my 30s the need got really bad. I started dressing a lot. It was wonderful. I bought my first dresses, bras, panties, forms and for the first time saw Angela in a mirror. I thought this is it there is no stopping. But it did stop for a very long time. I would see a woman in some nice heels and dress and think I could look good in that. But the guilt would overwhelm me and I turned away. Since it had been so long I thought,huh, maybe I'm "cured". I dont want to dress anymore. The need came back with a vengeance recently. I finally came to the conclusion that this is me. I'm still working through all these feelings but I do know I want to dress and look like a woman. It makes me feel good and I'm happy. There are a lot of challenges for me but it is a need for me to do this. This is the first time ever talking to anyone about this. I read comments that I'm not the only one and I feel better about myself.

[Maid_Marion]

I'm one of those cross dominant types that can use either hand. I use my left hand for extreme fine motion and my right hand for strength. Though I can swap if I want to.

I function better socially in mostly appropriate women's clothes. But I'm living in a place that has gender equality laws for the work place.

It may help that women's clothes fit me really well so I make a good impression at first glance.


Marion

[Alice Torn]

VSFan, I am in almost the same situation. Never had a wife. It is kind of a substitute/ No chance to have a mate in this life, so far, and little or no hope of it.

[Kelly-o]

I am happy with the balance in life that I have. Could I quit yes? Would I be as happy, the answer is no.

[SHINY-J]

The very first moved out of my parents house and got a place of my own, I had packages arriving in the mail from fredericks of Hollywood within a week. My wardrobe grew quickly for the next several years...then, I met a girl, didn’t tell her my secret, and the day before we moved in together, I threw my entire femme wardrobe in a dumpster. I was okay for a year or so, but the urges returned. Eventually, I shared my secret with her and it was not well received. We didn’t really discuss it very often as it made us so uncomfortable... we stayed together though. but eventually, we grew apart. While the dressing wasn’t the sole reason for splitting, I’m sure it played a role in our divorce. I moved out and the very first night in alone my new place, I’ll spent the entire evening in front of my laptop ordering my new femme wardrobe. I literally charged up almost 10,000 dollars that first night on heels, boots, panties, wigs, hose, bras, breast forms, makeup, garter belts, corsets, teddies, etc... in fact, my femme wardrobe ended up initially going into the main closet and I ended up slowly picking my guy clothes out of moving boxes for a couple of months... its now grown to the point that it easily tripled my male wardrobe.

So, I’d definitely say that I can’t quit. I may go days at a time... sometimes even weeks at a time, hardly dressing at all or buying anything. Other times it seems the urge is overwhelming and I spend and dress constantly... it’s seems almost manic.

I honestly don’t have any of the typical vices you hear about in society... I’m not addicted to anything like alcohol, hard drugs, gambling, smoking, etc... and I won’t pretend that my dressing habit is on par with drug or alcohol addiction... but with my dressing, it’s as close as I can possibly imagine to knowing what true addiction is because it’s the one thing that I truly don’t really understand or have any control over in my life. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever have it under control.

[Alice Torn]

In extremely difficult circumstances such as the horrendous hurricane disaster in Bahamas, or earthquake, or civil strife, war, or epidemic or famine, we all have to adapt, and survival is the big issue, and dressing not urgent then. We humans are capable of adapting when survival is the only issue. Or becoming homeless. i am sure there were CDs in the Bahamas, and they were not concerned about the clothes. I would miss it, but would be occupied with push coming to shove. And another thing would be being in jail or prison.. I would think a lot about it, and miss it, but not be doing any cding there.

[TerryWa]

I'm a mature man attracted to a man who cross-dresses as a woman to attract and enhance an interaction with a man. A cross-dresser, I believe, has a need to be on the submissive side of a dominant/assertive - submissive/passive sexual encounter with a man. It allows a male to explore through role-playing as a female that aspect of traditionally femininity normally reserved for genetic females. As a former cross-dresser who is now attracted to those that cross-dress, I have been on both sides of this equation and am speaking from experience.

I stopped fighting 'it' and embraced it as an aspect of my personality that makes me different from others on a planet of over 7 billion people. Not doing 'it' would only suppress the urge, but never extinguish it leading to other mental and physical stress-related issues.

[Janine cd]

Like Stephanie, I'm a senior CD. I,too, had a difficult time dealing with my desire to crossdress. After living with it for more than 70 years, I have come to accept that my desire to dress as a woman will never end.

[Patience]

i would love to stop dressing and be "normal" but i guess normal is me dressing as it is a compulsion that has complete control over me

Would you say your dressing is having a negative impact in your life? And what exactly is “normal”?

[Paulie Birmingham]

I could stop. But then I don't do much other than panties all the time, occasional camis, pantyhose, heels, bra. I dont go all out fem.

[Palaina Nocturnus]

I'm not sure if I already commented on this so please forgive me if I did.

I can not and will not ever stop crossdressing. Even when I can't live how I want to, like where I'm currently living, I will still get ready grab my stuff and have myself a girly night out.

It's a must, there are no 2 ways about it and arguing the point against it is moot. I'll respect someone and keep it under my clothes and go completely boy mode but you better understand the moment I get a chance to I'm going en femme immediately lol I'll be boy mode wearing my glitter flip flops until I park the car and get out.

I drive barefoot, I always have. I feel out of control with shoes on lol so I'm referring to when I get in and out before my destination

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Oh and it's a safer bet that I'm wearing girl clothes under boy clothes every time lol

[Gaz]

I expect the answer to the OP question varies. I will say this as someone who doesn't in any way consider themselves girly or feminine, just a bloke who enjoys the clothing, and I've tried to quit.

Repeatedly.

I expect many on here have purged at least once on the path to finally accepting themselves for who they are, and I'm no exclusion to the rule. Its only fairly recently that I finally told myself "You're a crossdresser - always have been, always will be, deal with it and move on because the game starts in a few minutes, and it ain't that big a deal." It would probably make my wife somewhat happier if I was to quit and not miss it, but at this point... not happening.

[jacques]

hello Patience,
I would not choose to quit cross-dressing
luv J

[Teri Ray]

I cannot at this stage see me finding any new realization that I could stop my desire to crossdress. I never understood why I have this desire. I have accepted that this desire is just part of who I am. If I thought I could just will the desire away I would. But something in me always draws me back to the desire to crossdress again.

[Jenny22]

I could never stop. Being TG (no longer just a CD), I must dress every day.