We see what we expect to see.

[Helen_Highwater]

Today it's bin day.My neighbours are away for a couple of days and asked me to put out their bins for them which I did last night as the refuse collectors sometimes come at the crack of dawn.

Well today it was more like 09:00 and I heard them collecting the glass recycling. This made me realise I hadn't put my neighbours glass bin out so quickly nipped out to catch the collection.

So walking towards me down the road was an operative pulling a wheelie bin into which they empty each house's glass. All over hi-vis and as I handed over the glass bin I said "Thanks mate".

It was then I saw the person give a slight smile and I looked more closely. The operative wasn't a man. Stocky, short hair yes, male no.

Now I can't say if this was a F2M Trans or a "butch" female but the point is we all see what we expect to see and act accordingly.

So here's what we have. Me seeing what I expected to see and I suspect someone who deliberately presents an image, an image that fooled me up until the point of close inspection.

She/he didn't fully pass but did a really good job of blending into the environment and there's a lesson there for all of us.

[GretchenM]

So true, Helen. We are all loaded with all kinds of preconceived notions that it is very hard to avoid being subjective. And surprised when we look more closely and see something closer to the truth that does not fit expectations. And you are quite correct about your experience being a good lesson.

Although passing is pretty much not an achievable goal that smacks of perfectionism, blending in is achievable. A transexual friend called it being presentable as whatever message you are trying to provide. When I set aside my preconceived notions and look at GGs in a bit more of an objective light I see an awful lot of women who really don't fit my preconceived notion of what a woman should look like in a perfect world that is complying with my wishes. In fact, most don't. It is really a spectrum of perception with perfect match at the peak and below that an infinite variety of variations. Then the boundary is reached where women really don't look much like women until there is close inspection. Take off all the clothes on everybody and there is no doubt who the women are and who the men are.

[ElianaFrozenflame]

When I was in my mid twenties (around the year 1992), I worked for a newspaper distribution center, and had to go out, on occasion, to deliver newspapers when a carrier failed to show up that day. There were a couple mornings I went out in leotard, tights, and t-shirt. No wig, no hiding what gender I really was, but it was a ridiculously early hour in the morning. One of those times, a gentleman walked right out his front door to speak with me. Wanted to inform me about his leaving out of town and wanted to put a hold on his newspaper. He just struck conversation with me without batting an eye or suspecting something was not quite right. It was dark out, but I think there was enough light from his front porch to have seen what was really before his eyes, if he looked a lil' more closely.

I would have had a lot to answer for, had he recognized what was in front of him, and called the distribution center... :o

[Fran-K]

Although passing is pretty much not an achievable goal that smacks of perfectionism, blending in is achievable.

Hi

The more I get into this reincarnated phase of dressing, the more I’ve come to agree - a few of us, with a lot of work, might be able to pass... for the rest, if we look good enough so that some passerby in the street doesn’t take a second look and ask themself “is that what I think it is?” And instead they just go on with their business ... it’s a big win.

Fran

[Charlotte7]

Hi

The more I get into this reincarnated phase of dressing, the more I’ve come to agree - a few of us, with a lot of work, might be able to pass... for the rest, if we look good enough so that some passerby in the street doesn’t take a second look and ask themself “is that what I think it is?” And instead they just go on with their business ... it’s a big win.

Fran

I think that this is very true Fran, because for many, that will not realise what they have seen until 'it's too late' and then, they may think "Yes, I was right, that was a man dressed as a woman" even if in reality they were incorrect in this, but the one thing they won't do is run after you to check that they were correct. You'll just be left alone to get on with your business. That's not passing, it's blending but it's a realistic way to carry on.

[Krisi]

…….. Now I can't say if this was a F2M Trans or a "butch" female ………………….
I hope you weren't expecting to see a female garbage collector in heels and makeup. A woman who takes such a job will usually not be the prissy female stereotype some folks here think all women should be. My guess is you saw a woman dressed appropriately for her job. Nothing more.

[DaisyLawrence]

Good point Krisi. Afterall, Helen has not seen the same woman waiting outside a night club on a Saturday evening, chances are she would be unrecognisable. Short hair does not define a genetic woman as trans or a 'butch' anymore than long hair defines a genetic male as trans or gay, it does, however, make maintenance easy when your job is dealing with garbage all day.

[Stephanie47]

I hope you weren't expecting to see a female garbage collector in heels and makeup. A woman who takes such a job will usually not be the prissy female stereotype some folks here think all women should be. My guess is you saw a woman dressed appropriately for her job. Nothing more.

Amen to that statement. I've mentioned before on this site of encountered a young woman driving/operating a cement mixer. She was dressed in hard hat, safety vest, flannel shirt, jeans, and work boots. Gorgeous blond hair. Big smile. Great figure. She went where the high wages are with a union construction job. There was definitely no guessing as to whether she was male or female. If she were to be encountered at a club all dolled up in dress and heels one would be floored to find out she drove a cement mixer. Men and women dress for the role they are playing.

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u, Krisi! Apparently a lot of us were thinking that, too!:heehee:

[Beverley Sims]

I have done that in NZ mistaken a Maori for some other Pacific Islander.

You just assume what you see is the real deal.

I have misgendered a few people in my time. :-)

[Helen_Highwater]

I hope you weren't expecting to see a female garbage collector in heels and makeup. A woman who takes such a job will usually not be the prissy female stereotype some folks here think all women should be. My guess is you saw a woman dressed appropriately for her job. Nothing more.


Good point Krisi. Afterall, Helen has not seen the same woman waiting outside a night club on a Saturday evening, chances are she would be unrecognisable. Short hair does not define a genetic woman as trans or a 'butch' anymore than long hair defines a genetic male as trans or gay, it does, however, make maintenance easy when your job is dealing with garbage all day.


Krisi, Daisy,

Before retiring I worked for a company that had employed female field engineers on equal pay long before it became the high profile issue it is today. I was totally use to seeing women in the same protective clothing as their male counterparts. Very rarely would anyone have any difficulty in tell one from the other. In my post I refrained from giving a full facial description or talking about how the person walked or any of the other subliminal clues that our brains use to make these judgements. My assessment that made me think man went way beyond something as simplistic as a bright yellow jacket and trousers. Only when we were barely two feet apart was I able to know who I was dealing with was a female.


There was definitely no guessing as to whether she was male or female. .

In this case my brain guessed incorrectly based on a wealth of clues.

And my saying "Mate". I believe that was her M'am moment and good luck to her for it.