Is it true about women and crossdressers?

[ladydreamingdanish]

I was reading an article of a cross dresser talking of their experience. They stated that women appreciate knowing and helping a guy cross dress. I am not referring to the young sissy that wants to be dominated but a mature relationship.
What do you think? Are women attracted to cross dressers?

[Princess Chantal]

I wouldn’t initially connect this appreciation of knowing and helping with being attracted to the crossdresser.

[Micki_Finn]

Short answer: No

Long answer: your statement is a gross generalization and CANNOT be true because there are women we know have no appreciation for it, as we have first hand accounts on this site of women reacting very badly.

Here is my best guess: Many women are tolerant or at least indifferent to men crossdressing in general.

A few women are tolerant or indifferent to their SO dressing.

A few of THOSE women are willing to participate in or encourage their SO’s dressing.

A few of THOSE woman are actually attracted to or prefer crossdressing men.

So what you have is a fraction of a fraction of a percentage. So yes there are women attracted to crossdressers, but it’s a very very small number compared to the whole. This person who claims that all women like crossdressers is either biased by very skewed and statistically anomalous experience, writing from a fantasy perspective, or is flat out lying. Why would you think there were so many threads here about relationship issues if women liked CDs?

[Rachael Leigh]

I agree with Micki, the percentage of women who enjoy helping or like it is very small, of the female population I would guess it’s less than 5 percent and that may be high. So those of us who hope they can find a willing partner who likes our fem
side is very small indeed

[biancabellelover]

What Micki said.

My wife is pretty supportive of my crossdressing, but she’s a wonderfully unique woman anyway!

But she is alone amongst all the women I know who’ve expressed an opinion on the subject.

Michelle

[Allisa]

I haven't found one yet and I'm 64.

[Tracii G]

I tend to think most women are not into men that dress like women why would they?
Most women want a man that acts like a man than a man that acts like a woman.
Why are so many marriages desolved over a man CDing?.
So I will have to ask would men want to help women dress or look like men? More than likely no.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Miki

I applied the Mathematical Rule of 22% for UnKnown Quantitative Analysis of Irrelevant Data Points to you post


22 out of 100: There are women who are tolerant or at least indifferent to men crossdressing in general.

4.84 out of 22 There are 4.84 out of 100 women are tolerant or indifferent to their SO dressing.

1.06 out of 4.84 - There are 1.06 out of 100 who are willing to participate in or encourage their SO’s dressing.

.23 out of 1.06 - There are .23 out of 100 woman are actually attracted to or prefer crossdressing men.

So the results are encouraging if you go to a place that has 100 women you can find one quarter of a woman who will be attracted to you. I would recommend you strike up a conversation with the upper quarter because statistically you have no chance with the bottom three quarters.

Hope this helps ;)

[docrobbysherry]

I believe Kelly's figures r overly optimistic!:straightface:

[Leonora]

I tend to think most women are not into men that dress like women why would they?
Most women want a man that acts like a man than a man that acts like a woman.
Why are so many marriages desolved over a man CDing?.
So I will have to ask would men want to help women dress or look like men? More than likely no.

I would have to agree. I don't think I would want my wife to dress like a man.

[Tina June]

While the number of females (GG) who are attracted to MTF crossdressing males (CD) could be stated as somewhere between ALL and NONE - not all GG's have had a close personal encounter with a CD'er to have formed a qualified opinion. Therefore, I can only surmise that the number of favorable outcomes is...some. Y.M.M.V.

[Beverley Sims]

Some are, most are not attracted at all, in fact they are repulsed by the thought.

[Rachelakld]

Women who date men usually expect the Mills & Boon versions of a man, or they hope to find a similar version.
Women hope for a man to share their "Happy ever after" with.
Maybe even a "trophy" male, one that ticks all the boxes and there's no negatives.

Crossdressing is still "unacceptable" even if tolerated.
I doubt the number of women who wants an "unacceptable" or "embarrassing" partner would exceed 9.
If you find 1 of the 9, your doing better than most of us.

[MustangGirl]

So I will have to ask would men want to help women dress or look like men? More than likely no.

Sadly, women don't need a man to help them dress as a man. Most of the top fashion lines have many items named after men's ware. The boyfriend jacket, man cut trousers/denim, etc. Women today can go straight to the men's department of any store and buy everything and go out in public and not get a second look.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Wherever this alternate universe is let me know; does anyone have an extra spaceship I could borrow?

I'm also picturing in my head (why yes, in fact, my head does see strange things) a field full of unicorns where there should be only horses.

Cass

[Tracii G]

Sadly, women don't need a man to help them dress as a man. Most of the top fashion lines have many items named after men's ware. The boyfriend jacket, man cut trousers/denim, etc. Women today can go straight to the men's department of any store and buy everything and go out in public and not get a second look.

So can a man go to a ladies dept and buy all they want too I am proof of that so its a moot point at best.
Boyfriend jacket or man cut trousers are still womens wear designed and marketed towards women.
Basically MG you missed my entire point but thats OK.

[Shayla]

I actually met a GG on Halloween Eve (at Hamburger Mary's) that said she would be, "totally into it" if her boyfriend cross dressed (he worked there). But she was about 22 and also said she was pan-sexual, both of which point to a more open mind on transgenderism. So, based on that extensive research, if you want a participatory GG, look for a single pansexual girl in her 20's...should be no problem!

[Majella St Gerard]

Most every woman I know wants me to help them with their style and makeup. They want to go shopping with me and raid my closet.

[Stephanie47]

As my wife said, if she wanted to be married to a woman she would have married a woman. It would be a rare exception to find a woman actively seeking out a MtF cross dresser for a partner. Did the article deal with the reasons a woman actively sought out a cross dresser? Just about all the relationships I read about seem to have gotten on firm ground before the issue of cross dressing is approached.

[RachelPortugal]

I agree with Micki.

I am one of the lucky ones. My wife now accepts my crossdressing. She helps with make-up, shopping for shoes and clothes and even goes out with me, but she did not marry Rachel so she can request, in fact insist on having time with her husband. She is not attracted to Rachel, she treats Rachel as a friend.

You could also wonder if women are attracted to gay men. A gay cousin would always arrive at family weddings and parties in the 70's with the most beautiful girls. He had a "plus one" that the family could equate to, she had a free night out with no concerns about having to pay for it in kind afterwards. No attraction from either party, despite what some old aunts and uncles may have thought.

[Teresa]

LDD...,
Obviously women are all different it's hard to put any sort of figure on the accepting ones , we estimated that about 25% of wives/partners accompany the Cders to our social meetings . Some of them do help and I would guess some attend to keep an eye on their partners for various reasons .

All my GFs before I married were OK with my CDing but as it turned out my wife wasn't . As far as women in general , that includes SAs are concerned very few if any have rejected me , I have a great deal of fun with the SAs , I do believe some are even attracted to the image of a CDer , I feel we intrigue them , they wonder what makes us tick . At times it is embarrassing because I've had a string of SAs wanting to serve me sometimes at the expense of ignoring other shoppers , the attraction is often my figure shape , they want to sell some lovely dresses and it gives them some pleasure dressing a slim size 12 up . Last time I went clothes shopping the SA handed me about a dozen tops to try on and then a beatiful sequined dress which they discounted to encourage me to buy it , how could I refuse !

I'm not sure if being gay does come into the equation , personally I'm not nor do I act camp , maybe the attraction is being open and honest with them , they very often they tell me how brave I am so perhaps they see it as a strength rather than a weakness .

[Helen_Highwater]

LDD,

I think there's a distinction to be drawn between how GG's in a relationship and those who are acquaintances of a CD'er react.

I appreciate it's a generalisation but many women are comfortable in the presence of Gay men and in much the same way aren't fazed by a male who can talk girl. In some way it's like they're dressing a doll. It's sharing expertise. This possibly answers why many who come out to their close female friend find acceptance.

It is true based on the experienxes of those of us who venture out as reported here that when we encounter GG's we're often met with full acceptance. Normal conversation. Whether or not they would then choose to become friends is up for debate.

[MonicaPVD]

You would be lucky to find a woman who is supportive or, at the very least, tolerates your affinity for CDing. My wife is a very open minded person and welcoming to other people's sexual and gender diversity but she expects her man to be "a man." No negotiation there.

[alwayshave]

It is true that most women have a problem with it. I was lucky to find a women who is accepting and encouraging, however I know that she prefer I wasn't a CD.

[Lacey New]

I think my wife and my sisters are pretty typical of most women. In the few conversations I have had with them, they do not really care so much if “other people” cross dress but none of them want their husbands to do it. I’m in the closet to all of them by the way.

[Miss V]

The most shocking thing to me, when I came out about my dressing, was how much women were supportive. My sister even started buying me stuff.

In fact, I have yet to meet a woman who has a problem with it.

[Traci H]

I find women to be hypocritical in their thought process. It seems like my wife, they are very liberal and supportive of the trans movement in general, but then take a “Not in my backyard” stance. Baffles me to no end. It really should not as I recall a quote from the back of a Biff Rose album that stated. “There are only two ways to handle a woman, and no one knows either one.”

[Robertacd]

Yes, no... Maybe...

It really depends on the woman.

All the girls here in a DADT relationship with their spouse can attest to that.

[Mickitv]

The only time I have found women very accepting to me as a crossdresser was during a professional makeover of somekind. She is certainly being well paid to assist me with mostly makeup (which I still have problems with) and at times dressing. I have had a dinner dressed with a women but only after a particular makeover. Hope this helps.

[Teresa]

Helen,
Understanding your motives does help with some before becoming a friend , personally I've found being committed to going full time removes some issues , they have to build up a trust which is both difficult and confusing if we flip flop between states . Everyone in my new home town have only seen me dressed so I'm forming friendships only as Teresa which is working out just fine .

[Tina Davis]

TraciH, I absolutely agree with you - my wife is quite supportive of the LGBT community, but has never been happy with my dressing. She married a man, that's all she wants.

[Micki_Finn]

I don’t know that I’d call it “hypocritical” for women to support lgbtq issues but not want to be in a relationship with one. I fully support your right to listen to Barry Manilow all day, but I’m not going to date someone that does.

[CarlaWestin]

I believe Kelly's figures r overly optimistic!:straightface:

I like Kelly's figure. Uh, figures. I've found that the pool of females that appear to be more tolerant to admiring are generally in the <30 ladies.
And I really don't know the percentage.

[LeannS]

My wife accepts the people that come through her doctors office as she is a nurse has no problem with them EXCEPT one me !! My daughter said the same thing a couple weeks ago while her and mom was talking about lgbqt and they said they are both accepting and I laughed under my breath and thought yes you are NOT

[novastar]

NO. Most women are repulsed by thought of their male crossdressing. That said, they may have platonic friends with whom they help dress. I do not find this at all hypocritical of women. Being supportive of LGBT and wanting a relationship with one are two different things.

[Aunt Kelly]

FWIW, the odds of one's SO being accepting probably go up if one is honest and unashamed when having "the talk" early on in the relationship. That's not saying much, because most women (I suspect) will not be accepting, but when you take the deception out of the picture, you are making a statement about your respect for the other person. Do not underestimate the power in that gesture.

[t-girlxsophie]

I've had both ends of the acceptance/non acceptance spectrum in my two marriages.The first time I went about things in the totally wrong way, she found out about my deciept and it was always a bone of contention.The fact we lasted 10 years was a minor miracle.

I vowed if I ever met someone else I would be upfront,it so happens I met my wife online,so she knew from the beginning so that was a better starting point and we've been together 13 years,Ive always had her support and understanding and I know I'm so lucky and of course I know never to take that for granted

Yes its rare but there are accepting women out there,honesty certainly does help when entering a relationship.

Sophie

[ReineD]

I think it depends on the woman's background and her relationship to the crossdresser. Some women believe that crossdressing is abominable, others don't care one way or the other, while still others champion the blurring of genders in an increasingly gender-neutral world. As to relationships, I doubt the majority of women would want to help someone they know very little. But, if he is a good friend, she might want to help in order to support him. Or, if she is a romantic partner, she might support someone's right to crossdress in theory while at the same time reluctant to see her own husband do it.

So you see, there is no general rule.

[Pumped]

My wife is open to my dressing, but not very interested in participating. She does not want to see me dressed fully, but she enjoys me dressed as a man in lingerie.

[CallMeHeather]

My girlfriend and I both are very interested in crossing gender lines. We like CD/TS, M2F, F2M, etc. It's something we knew we had in common before we became an item. I think because of this shared interest she is supportive and just as curious as I am about exploring this side of me and seeing where it goes.

In other words, my GF knew what she was getting into, so it's not like I revealed some hidden side of myself and asked her to accept it. (When I hear about bad situations when a CD husband comes out, it often seems to be of the "this is not what I signed up for" variety.) In our case, she knew what she saw in me and she wanted to draw it out.

[ladydreamingdanish]

Thank you for your comments. Yes I agree that easier if both start relationship knowing about crossdressing then a sudden surprise or revelation. In my situation, my GF encouraged I don't just wear nylons to keep my legs warm but also begin wearing ladies under wear to go with the nylons.

[sometimes_miss]

There are .23 out of 100 woman are actually attracted to or prefer crossdressing men.
That's pretty close to what I found over the years. And then, you have to deal with all the OTHER problems of matching up with a mate. In short, not good odds. And if you're not generally attractive in the first place? Oh well. So much for that idea

Some are, most are not attracted at all, in fact they are repulsed by the thought.
Exactly

if you want a participatory GG, look for a single pansexual girl in her 20's...should be no problem!
Yep, no problem for a 60 y/o man at all. I'm sure there are long lines of 20 y/o babes looking for 60 y/o crossdressers out there.

You could also wonder if women are attracted to gay men.
There are a lot of women who initially find gay men attractive who are generally attractive in the first place, well dressed, in shape, and are knowledgeable about things that women find interesting.

FWIW, the odds of one's SO being accepting probably go up if one is honest and unashamed when having "the talk" early on in the relationship. That's not saying much, because most women (I suspect) will not be accepting, but when you take the deception out of the picture, you are making a statement about your respect for the other person. Do not underestimate the power in that gesture.
Still won't make the guy in a dress an automatic turn on to that woman.

So you see, there is no general rule.
Actually, there is. And there are exceptions, like in many other rules, but the rule stands. If we want to date women, we cannot be crossdressers. It's like swimming the english channel; don't do it with cinderblocks tied to your ankles. While there are certainly a few people who could manage it, the vast majority would drown.

[DanaR]

It is true that most women have a problem with it. I was lucky to find a women who is accepting and encouraging, however I know that she prefer I wasn't a CD.
I agree. My wife has been accepting, but has taken quite a while to get to that. She has gone out with me dressed many times.

One of the interesting things that I’ve noticed, when we meet others when I’m dressed, is that my wife is always questioned about how could let me do that. I’ve mentioned to my wife that she shouldn’t say we are married, but good friends; which we are.

[Isabella Ross]

I think the answer is partly related to age. And sometimes culture. I think younger women aren't threatened as much by feminine men and crossdressing, and they're freer to explore a relationship with a feminine man and less likely to reject based on cultural norms and fears. There are even some credible studies that suggest women are increasingly looking for feminine qualities in a mate. From a cultural perspective, I also think that where you live in this world makes a difference. In conservative, more religious regions, I think women tend to be less accepting. I would agree that the percentage of women who are actually clearly attracted to a crossdresser is probably quite low, but the younger the woman, the more open she is to acknowledging that attraction. I for one am married to a woman who accepts me completely...partly because she believes everyone should be free to live their lives in whatever way they want (within reason, of course), and partly because she actually is often attracted to me when I'm feminine and dressed.

[ReineD]

Actually, there is. And there are exceptions, like in many other rules, but the rule stands. If we want to date women, we cannot be crossdressers. It's like swimming the english channel; don't do it with cinderblocks tied to your ankles. While there are certainly a few people who could manage it, the vast majority would drown.

You'd be surprised at how many women would be OK with it, as long as it's approached the right way. This is a recent post by one of our GGs here, if you would like to understand how best to approach the telling:


Dear kim, the answer always is by having a detailed discussion while dressed as she met you: a male. Without distractions, not when expecting interruptions, not first thing in the morning or last thing at night and not in a public place. Use the word "crossdresser" and don't downplay it or make it sound like a fetish. Give her a detailed appraisal of the how's and why's and be ready to play 1001 questions. I will tell you a thing you don't hear often here; whatever comes out of this conversation, if she never had to deal with this before, her state of mind will require care for quite a long time after. It's important you often ask her questions yourself about her concerns and if she has any. Don't sit back and think, well I told her now, if she wants to know something, she will ask. A lot of women internalise a million times more than you can imagine. Don't assume anything because chances are, you'll be wrong. Equally as important is that you volunteer without prompting your thought process. If you are struggling, tell her. If you are worried, tell her. But most of all, be clear about what this means to you. Don't downplay it and don't feed her bs in bitesize because it's easier to swallow. Respect her as you hope she will respect you. Best of luck.

I acknowledge the OP also asked about a woman's inclination to help with the CDing. Not every woman would be willing to do that (not every man would want help with it ... my SO didn't). But, she can certainly accept that her SO crossdresses.

[maya1]

Short answer: No

Long answer: your statement is a gross generalization and CANNOT be true because there are women we know have no appreciation for it, as we have first hand accounts on this site of women reacting very badly.

Here is my best guess: Many women are tolerant or at least indifferent to men crossdressing in general.

A few women are tolerant or indifferent to their SO dressing.

A few of THOSE women are willing to participate in or encourage their SO’s dressing.

A few of THOSE woman are actually attracted to or prefer crossdressing men.

So what you have is a fraction of a fraction of a percentage. So yes there are women attracted to crossdressers, but it’s a very very small number compared to the whole. This person who claims that all women like crossdressers is either biased by very skewed and statistically anomalous experience, writing from a fantasy perspective, or is flat out lying. Why would you think there were so many threads here about relationship issues if women liked CDs?

Well said. You're one smart lady Mikki.

[Wildaboutheels]

What "kind" of a CDer are you referring to? There are a zillion different "flavors" of CDer.

And just like no 2 CDers will ever be exactly alike, the same applies to women even if they are identical twins.

What is undisputed FACT is what I have seen in/on numerous OLD sites over a 12 year off and on span.

Some ladies will insist on a bald man. Some will insist on a man with a full head of hair. Some will insist on a larger man and/or a hairy guy or one with a beer belly. The list is endless. While I never saw a profile where a woman insisted that all potential candidates must be a CDer of some flavor, some did give at least indirect indications in their profile.

Let me ask you something. Would YOU be OK dating a woman who might be a CDer? One who might like to (at least sometimes) bind her breasts when she dressed as a man?

[Judy-Somthing]

When I was about twenty two I went into a Girdle Store to get an All-in-one.
Said it was for my girl friend, well they didn't believe me and got me to admit it was for me.

The two sales women were so nice, they took my measurements and help me pick something nice.
They also sold me some nice foam breast forms. So cool!

[JeanTG]

My experience with women and crossdressing is limited to my wife and SAs in the stores I shop at. In that experience, I can say that women, in general, seem fascinated by us. The SAs are very helpful in helping me pick out pretty items that go well with me. I suspect they enjoy the challenge, and are genuinely curious.

But for most women, that curiosity comes to a crashing end if it's their SO who crossdresses. My wife doesn't embrace. She doesn't accept. I can't even say she tolerates. She's openly hostile about it. It isn't even DADT. It's "I can always tell buster, and if I catch evidence you have been dressing again I will rip your eyeballs out with my fingernails...". Well I exaggerate a wee bit, but there is NOTHING about crossdressing that she appreciates.

[Nicole Erin]

This is the cynical way to look at things but i tend to assume people will not accept.
A lot of women are supportive of the TG community, as long as it isn't anyone close to them.

To slightly alter something i read years ago -

An honest woman draws the line of gender in public while the hypocrite draws it at the bedroom door.

[LovingThePanties]

Generally, women who you are/would be in a relationship w/ don't like it, which makes sense because most women aren't attracted to women and therefore don't want their man to be feminine. It's unfortunate because I'd love to have a GF who I could dress up w/ once in a while, while maintaining an otherwise normal heterosexual relationship. I think that most women who you aren't in, or potentially could be in, a relationship w/ are receptive to it. It's fairly socially accepted now and as long as you aren't a potential SO, girls will think it's cute and want to help you w/ it. All of this said as a guy who is much younger than most on this forum.

[Hazel Overstreet]

I find women to be hypocritical in their thought process. It seems like my wife, they are very liberal and supportive of the trans movement in general, but then take a “Not in my backyard” stance. Baffles me to no end. It really should not as I recall a quote from the back of a Biff Rose album that stated. “There are only two ways to handle a woman, and no one knows either one.”
Look. If a woman is heterosexual, She was attracted to you as a man. It’s not hypocritical at all to not be attracted to you as a woman. And it’s not hypocritical to feel a little betrayed. It’s unfortunate for us, but it’s not their fault. We’re attracted to who we’re attracted to.

- - - Updated - - -

I can’t be the only hetero male CD who feels like, “it sure would be easier if I were gay!” Unfortunately I’m not...sigh.

[Krisi]

I was reading an article of a cross dresser talking of their experience. They stated that women appreciate knowing and helping a guy cross dress. ………


Just like Facebook, don't believe everything you read. This crossdresser is no more of an expert on women than anyone else. All you have to do is read the forum posts here for a few days and you will realize that many of us have lost relationships and marriages because of our crossdressing. Perhaps some women are into it but the majority are not. The average woman knows nothing about crossdressing and knows no crossdressers. The average woman is looking for a man who looks and acts like a man.

[mbmeen12]

Are women attracted to crossdressers?

It depends were they are at sexually. My GG friends are actually into the movement of that is all LGTG movement. They imprace us.... But the opposite viewpoint of a straight woman, those folks would be disgusted with us and look down on us as deviants, deplorables and or perverts etc. Those would be the ones in the store clocking you and giving your disgusted stares.

[Bobbi46]

It depends on the circumstances in a partnership or marriage after some time has been spent in the relationship it can come as a shock to the GG and thus makes her think I did not come into this to suddenly be in love with my hunk who dresses as a woman, where is the MAN I used to know then in the same scenario comes either rejection and everything goes down the pan or acceptance becomes total.
Outside of the above you have friends and aquaintances some on finding out accept completely others will go the other way and distance themselves.
When it comes to shop assistances they cannot take sides or they end up without a job and word gets out "don't go there they are not gender friendly" they are payed to be polite to everybody.
In my case things went from "what are you looking for" to, after a time taking me round the racks and showing me what would look good on me and what would not, this SA and her co worker became good friends for me welcoming me with beaming smiles. Of course in a commercial world this is how it should be but on the private side a whole pile of difference, taking friends for example, those that knew me before and after finding out about the new me kept me as a friend and nothing changed just the same with my neighbours.
It all comes down to I don't know inherited ideals? how I parents felt about our community, whether their outlook whas liberal easy thinking or was it rigid and conforming. Thankfully times have changed so very much and life is far more accepting than it ever was before.
I think the degree of accepting is within a relationship, sometimes it works, sometimes not.
On the whole I think yes there are women who are atracted and a lot of those have been mentioned in many threads how a wife or partner on knowing beforehand or after stills loves the preson they are with and makes no bounderies.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I'm still waiting for the OP to post a link to the article, or at least some information to give others the ability to google the article. Not that I disbelieve such an article exists, but its seeming more like a bit of a tall tale by now.

[Diane Taylor]

Some are, most aren't...……………..

[Maid_Marion]

I brought up the possibility of being transgender a couple months into our relationship. She was the one who suggested crossdressing to obtain work appropriate clothes, as I'm too small to fit in "normal" men's wear. I then took the opportunity to buy VS PJs. I looked really hot in red satin PJs but couldn't sleep in them. So I wore flannel VS PJs instead. She later brought up the idea of underdressing with panties, but I never took her up on that. She did draw a line in the sand at HRT. I'd had to discuss it with her first. She was quite into disability and LGBTQ rights. But not part of the younger crowd.