Cure and purging

[Sassy]

I am new here. I don't crossdress often, but I envision myself doing it a lot. It is more of a fetish to me, I don't know if that's why yall do it or not. I get urges to feel like a beautiful girl and can't help myself even though I want to be a man. I would hate someone finding out I do this. I want to closet dress, but I know I will purge so I will stop. Any advice?

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Any advice?

Yes, don't purge.


Veronica

[Julie Avery]

Sassy, you're certainly not alone here. My only advice would be to try to be patient with yourself, whether with your dressing, or purging. Maybe just that could be the beginning of more consistent understanding and acceptance of yourself as always being a person who sometimes likes to crossdress.

Realize that so many of us have gone through what you're going through, and it's possible to find your way to a good outcome, but it can take time, and that's all right, and not unusual for a man who likes to crossdress.

[Julie York]

Been there.

Find a big box. When you feel ashamed and not happy with it all put everything in the box and tape it up, done, nothing to do with you anymore, hide it at the back of the wardrobe etc.

Maybe a year later, maybe even more, you will bo SO glad you didn't throw that box away.

[DawnLabelle]

Been there.

Find a big box. When you feel ashamed and not happy with it all put everything in the box and tape it up, done, nothing to do with you anymore, hide it at the back of the wardrobe etc.

Maybe a year later, maybe even more, you will bo SO glad you didn't throw that box away.

Yup, do this, *dont* throw everything away, you'll just regret it later. I almost purged a few years back, hot damn am I glad I didn't now that I'm finally starting to accept myself :), I've got so much to wear now!, teehee.

Stay strong
Dawn

[angelinamillar]

Cure?

Rofl, there aint no cure 4 what we got hun, it will be with us till the day we die. You can't Cure what isnt broken :) And purging just costs money 2 buy back all the things you dumped, thats a no no, been there done it, regretted it :(


Hugs,

Angelina

[Joy Carter]

Two complete outfits assorted makeup two pairs of shoes an estimated value over six hundred dollars (I buy good stuff) It's somewhere in a landfill. Dumbest thing I have done in the past few years. They are all telling you right don't discard that stuff. If you really truly can kick the erge to dress you can sell it on Ebay after a while and make some cash I have tried but always return to my true self.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Sassy

Purging = A waste of time and money

You will be able to stop for a while but the urges will return followed why did I throw all my clothes away.

A big box is a good idea.

[Teresa Amina]

The Urge to Purge will occur now and then, but as others have said just put it away somewhere. You'll probably want it back again. This is the natural progression of learning about yourself, try and take it easy.:)

[Paula Jaye]

I am so glad I never had a purge.I had long periods when I did not dress despite having the opportunity. At the time I was in the wardrobe and all my gear was stashed in the loft of our house. It would have been a lot of hassle to get it all down and chuck it out. So it just stayed there until the urges came back.

[Barb Valentine]

It's a big waste time & money but it's one way to get a new wardrobe

[Star]

Just put it all away until tomorrow sis....

[joanlynn28]

Sorry babe but what you got is terminal. Believe me I spent 28 days in a hospitial supposely for a crossdressing fetish and countless more money on so called professionals to fight the urge to dress. Even went to hypnotherpy to curb the addiction. In the end I only want to do it more, 24/7 if possible, looking into the possiblity on that currently. And I except the way I am perfectly, it's me. The sooner you come to realize that it is okay the sooner you will find your truth self. Crossdresser for life.

[livy_m_b]

I was able to suppress it for about 5 years once by going on heavy duty antidepressants, adopting a rigid religious regimen, and engaging in a wide range of obsessive compulsive behaviors - mostly buying books instead of clothes! I decided the cure is worse than the disease!

[mmandy31]

I been that road of purging and believe me it isn't cheap to buy all new clothes.
:sad:

[Cathy Anderson]

1. People make an either-or out of this: either I am a crossdresser for life, or else I need to force myself to stop.

2. Most people know (or should) that either-or thinking is incorrect.

There are a lot of options. One is to crossdress "experimentally." That means to let yourself do it to a limited extent with the conscious intention of understanding where the urge comes from, what it means, and how to deal with it.

What we all want is to be free, and to have as much choice over our behavior as possible. In general, it is difficult to make a free choice if we do not consciously admit the possibility of both options.

If you approach the situation responsibly (that is, keeping in mind both your urges and your responsibility to self and others), and, in particular if you at least try to talk to a counselor about it, then there's no shame in being discovered. You can look your worst critic in the eye and say: "I didn't choose this. I'm doing everything in my power to handle it in a mature and decent way. Now, what are *you* doing about *your* issues?"

I can explain more, but that's the gyst of it.

I don't believe the view that "if you're a CDer there's nothing you can do about it." But I won't rehash my arguments, which are already better stated in the articles on my website.

Cathy

[renee k]

Been there.

Find a big box. When you feel ashamed and not happy with it all put everything in the box and tape it up, done, nothing to do with you anymore, hide it at the back of the wardrobe etc.

Maybe a year later, maybe even more, you will bo SO glad you didn't throw that box away.
There's a lot of good advise here, from all of us that have been down this road. I've purged several times. Only to return to dressing. My biggest regret is throwing out or selling my wardrobe. I agree with Julie, pack it all up and save it. The urge to dress never goes away totally!

Huggs, Renee

[Adrienne Heels]

I think you girls are all giving very good advice....even though I have just recently started dressing seriously, I can see that it makes a lot of sense NOT to purge. Wigs, makeup, etc. are very expensive. And if you have some nice outfits or shoes, you are gonna regret discarding them.

Karyn

[Annaliese]

I am new here. I don't crossdress often, but I envision myself doing it a lot. It is more of a fetish to me, I don't know if that's why yall do it or not. I get urges to feel like a beautiful girl and can't help myself even though I want to be a man. I would hate someone finding out I do this. I want to closet dress, but I know I will purge so I will stop. Any advice?
Sassy just because you dress dose not make you a man it make you a better person. Dressing is a part of who we are, having a fem side is what makes us kind, and loving, not dressing make us mean and ugle.
Sassy the times I have purged have been the worst time in my live I am 52 and have purged many times and have come back to dress every time. I do belive a person can purge for good but that person is going to be the most misable mean person that no one want to know. If you take all the crossdresser here at this forum there is Thousand of years of experence. Many here have given up a lot wifes, children, jobs and friends, if we could we would have stop years ago but we can't, we can't stop being who we are and neither can you.
We have all been where you are now, so we understand.

Take care and good luck.

Anna

[Sassy]

Is there a way to control it? So I have don't have the desire to do it as much. Maybe only a few times a year.

[carol ann]

Is there a way to control it?

It always seems to creep back and the new shopping is part of the excitement.

On way might be to have a talk with your wife and tell her of your urges - and when they originated. Tell her you don't want to hurt her so can she help you get over it in some way. Judge her reaction

She may explode

She may go into tears!

She may be curious and a little excited

She may say what would be acceptable to her

She may be totally sympathetic and want to help you (least likely scenario)

Whichever way - if you then decide to try to supress it and get caught when you dress again - at least your wife will not be as shocked and she will not think you are betraying her and your marriage will have a much better chance of surviving.

[sharifemme]

Sassy...

Most of us know that purging is not a cure! You will always go back. No sense getting rid of your favorite things so you have to go out and look for new again. Besides, it only makes you feel worse about yourself in the end.

Sharifemme



I am new here. I don't crossdress often, but I envision myself doing it a lot. It is more of a fetish to me, I don't know if that's why yall do it or not. I get urges to feel like a beautiful girl and can't help myself even though I want to be a man. I would hate someone finding out I do this. I want to closet dress, but I know I will purge so I will stop. Any advice?

[Jennaie]

As it pertains to me, I only get the desire to purge when I meet a woman and the relationsship begins to get serious. This is not because I want to quit dressing but because I feel her knowing that I dress would end the relationship.

I purged about 5 or 6 years ago, to the tune of about $2500.00 dollars worth of clothing, makeup, wig, jewelry, etc. Promised myself that it was over. HA... What a stupid thing I did.

I now have a large locking file cabinet that I keep my things in and if anyone ask, I simply tell them it contains personal things.

I have made a decision not to engage in a serious relationship with anyone unless they know and are not only accepting but "like" the fact that I am a dresser.

Good luck

[FROCKYHORROR]

I'm like Jennaie on this, Theres a nice girl i've been talking to lately and i'm hoping for things to progress ,I feel like i ought to purify myself first, start off with a clean slate, in otherwords purge. I keep thinking 'She doesn't deserve this', i'd feel so guilty sitting there on our first date, knowing i'm not the man she thinks i am.However i've been here once before, purged, things didn't work out with the girl, got depressed, then viola the need to dress hits you and oh no,why'd i purge?

[gwencd158]

Hi - Been a lurker here for awhile - never posted. I too have purged many times - around new jobs and my first two children. Now I do "mini" purges to keep the inventory low - I get rid of things I know I will never wear again, or that go out of style. Makes room for new stuff!

Good Luck! Gwen

[Bonnie Jean]

purged many times usually regretted it within days or weeks. :bonk:

[patty diamond]

Purging Is A Big Waste Your Coming Back One Way Or The Other.