First Post Since "Hello!"

[Anne E]

Here's my first post since my self-introduction, which was several months ago. Not quite sure how to do this. As an introvert, I would be content to stay quiet forever, but ...

This forum has made such a difference to me since I found it. I have been cross-dressing since as long as I can remember, which is more than a few decades, and over the years I have been confused by it, and I have hidden it, and I have not embraced it or shared it with anybody, and I have not really tried to do it very well because it has mostly been confusing. But I have recently realized that it is good for me and finding all of you has taught me that I am not alone, and I am not strange, and I can question my gender without questioning my sexuality (which makes this all a lot less confusing), and there is a path forward. I've been reading stories on this forum about women who just go out the door, for the first time, and it's OK, and then life gets better.

So, my breast forms arrived a few days ago, my first silicone pair. Nothing fancy, not too big, but a well-made pair, not socks, or water balloons, or rice in a stocking or gadgets with stickum and a drawstring. UPS delivered them to the wrong address, which is normal for UPS, so one of my neighbors dropped by and handed me the box after he got home from work. I'm wearing them this evening, for the first time, dressed in my favorite silk skirt and a comfortable blouse and fuzzy house slippers, just reading this forum and listening to roomba do its chores, and thinking about fixing dinner. I'm feeling my blood pressure drop and my chronic pain subside, because those are some of the things that cross dressing does for me. I get up from time to time to look at myself in the mirror, and for the first time, instead of trying to figure out how to do it better because it still looks kinda wrong, I realize that it finally looks right. And it feels right. I feel like I did that time, years ago, when I rode my bicycle out past the end of my street for the first time, and then down to the end of the next street, and I realized that I could just go for as long as I wanted to keep riding, and I felt free.

So, not tonight, because I'm not quite ready. (And also because this skirt was not intended for below-freezing weather.) But I believe that it's about time to start thinking about walking out the door, for the first time, and for it being OK, and then life just gets better.

Thank you all,
Anne

[Tracii G]

Take your time and when you are ready you will know it.

[DIANEF]

Hello Anne. I am a naturally very shy person, but since joining the forum I have made some good friends and received more information than my poor brain can ever process :). Going out is a thing you do only when you feel comfortable doing it, there is no time limit, no need to push yourself further than you want to go, everyone has their own pace. You will know when the time is right.

[Rachael Leigh]

Anne, welcome to this very open and most friendly group. You are most defiantly among friends, I wish you well on your
journey
Blessings Rachael

[Tina June]

Anne E -
Enjoy your new forms - and the rest of your wardrobe! You have just entered a new and exciting world of personal expression! All of us are with you every time you wear whatever you feel is appropriate to who you want to be!

[laurenchanning]

Anne- such an inspiring post! I'm pretty much in the same emotional space as you are. So grateful for the wisdom found here, yours included.

Lauren

[Beverley Sims]

Anne,

As others have said, take your time and you will know when you are ready, it is probably not now and wearing a skirt out in this weather will soon have you inside anyway.

Welcome and enjoy your stay.

[Macey]

No rules about how you should live your life and be happy :) Whether you go out that door, stay in, or change your mind mid stream, you do you!

[Aunt Kelly]

Happy to hear that you have come to terms with your nature and are exploring it more fully. Best of luck to you.

Hugs,


Kelly

[alwayshave]

Anne, Walking out the door is a big rush, I'm glad you are enjoying your forms.

[Anne E]

Hi,

Thank you all, everybody. No, not in a rush, Jamie. And certainly not last night, into the storm, with no shoes and no keys and no plan. But, yes, definitely on a sunny day with a plan and my shoes on.

I'm not sure if all of you remember this feeling, but I just wrote something here that for the longest time would not have been possible. I would never have written it or dared to say it, but then you all wrote back as if instead of writing what I wrote, I had written something ordinary instead. If I had simply said, "I'm thinking of taking some creative writing classes at the community college," most of your responses would not have been incongruous. I don't know if that makes any sense. But, thank you all, again, for being here, and for making this normal.

Today a friend asked me what I had done this week that made me most happy. I'm not yet ready to walk through that door either, so said I bought a pie. Which was a big fat lie. It was this.

Best,
Anne

[MiniRock]

I'll read every post you make my friend, for your writing prowess. And don't be ashamed of liking pies.

[Abbey11]

Welcome Anne, enjoy the forms and most of all enjoy being you :hugs:

[Rachelish]

Anne, it is indeed a great feeling when things start to come together and everything looks and feels right. You have much to look forward to :)

[kimdl93]

What a thoughtful first post! So glad you’ve reached this place.

i found the observation regarding chronic pain quite res a good deal of evidence suggesting that chronic pain has neurological origins and can respond favorably to cognitive therapy. One might speculate that some chronic pain might derive from repress and self denial.

[DW]

I started with going to an LGBTQ club, until I got comfortable.
Now I go anywhere enfemme, grocery store, shopping, etc.
It gets easier each time, but you have to be comfortable being you. The world might not notice!