Dancing in high heels?

[DarciInTx]

Remember, I'm a newbie at this. And they say the only stupid question is the one you don't ask, so here goes...

From time to time, some members mention going out dancing. That set my mind to wondering - how do you learn to dance in high heels? Or as a woman?

I used to be a pretty competent county-western dancer, and also done some ballroom, swing, and disco. Although I've developed some balance issues as I've grown older, and I'm not sure I could still do that in full guy mode.

But I can hardly walk in high heels without breaking my neck. I can't imagine what it would take to dance in them. And I think skill in that only comes from repeated practice - but how do you get the practice on a dance floor when you can't do it to begin with.

And then there's the issue of dancing as a woman. I can lead, but how do you switch to following? And, I get the impression that many times the dancing is with other women. Who leads, who follows, or how does that work.

Maybe dumb questions, but [my] inquiring mind wants to know.

[Anne E]

Dancing shoes. They are not like the pumps that you buy in the mall. At least mine aren’t, anyway. I want to fly.

[RachelPortugal]

My wife would wear 4" heels when she was in her 20's. Walking and driving in them was never an issue for her, but on the dance floor anything other than a smoochy dance would inevitably lead to her kicking of the heels and dancing in bare or stocking feet.

[Stacy Darling]

It's a motor skill! and so requires a massive amount of practice.
I perform in thin flats, even that requires practice!

Then to the "Who Leads" and how? Well this is where I'm glad I don't care, It's dance!
Stacy!

[Beverley Sims]

I thought it was lots of practice to get it right.

[Jane G]

A bit surprised by the answers thus far. I have always loved dancing, in heels in flats, in walking boots. I just get up and dance my heart out. As said it is a motor skill. May be the trick is simply. You start young and you can just do it.

[Teresa]

Darcin,
It's actually easier to dance in heels than flat male shoes as long as the shoes fit well . The swivel points are smaller so toe and heel movements flow better , I feel so clumsy when trying to dance in male mode . Also the movement of certain clothes does add to the flow of the dance. I can't wait for the Xmas party season to kick off to get on the bance floor .

[Micki_Finn]

1) Baby steps. First you learn to walk in heels, then you learn to dance. Once you have the walking down and you’ve learned to shift your balance from your heels to the balls of your feet, dancing comes easier.

2) I don’t know about the other girls but I don’t do any kind of formal, structured dancing such as ballroom, just go to nightclubs. So leading and following isn’t really an issue. Though if you can lead you can follow. Just so everything exactly backwards.

[KatieEvans1989]

I'm already sorted on this. I just don't dance... PERIOD! lol

Haven't been out as Katie and in male mode I only listen to 'dance' music, which you don't really dance to. You kinda throw yourself around. lol

[Lydianne]

Act like you know,
You'll be in the show :winkp:.

Start kicking up your heels.

Or.. Help Is On The Way :).

- Lydianne.

[Alice Torn]

I dance around in my apartment alone, in 5 inch heels. never been out on a dance floor CD'd. Only have danced as a guy in guy mode. Would like to try it once, but don't like bars and super loud noisy music. I like music from 1930's through 1970's mostly, not today's music.

[Eemz]

Oh this is something I would *love* to do too. I have done some partner dancing in the past, mostly Lindy Hop, but only in male mode and always as the lead of course. Darci - I don't know what it's like in TX but in Ireland it's very common for women to dance together because there are never enough men, and one of the women will lead, the other follows and nobody thinks anything of it.

[Anne E]

... in Ireland it's very common for women to dance together because there are never enough men, and one of the women will lead, the other follows and nobody thinks anything of it.

It depends on where I go dancing and what kind of dancing it is. There are some groups who do partner dancing where the men wear pants and lead and the women wear dresses and follow. But there are groups where people might come alone or with their partners, who might be the same gender or different, and leaders lead and followers follow and if you come alone and you think who you are and who you dance with needs explanation, there are pins that you can borrow at the door, or not if don't want one.

[kayla_bayarea]

Though if you can lead you can follow. Just so everything exactly backwards.

This is absolutely, completely, NOT TRUE! The reason I am so irked by this statement is because I see this toxic attitude a lot in my dance classes. Some guys think they are good leaders and decide they want to try following out of curiosity. Since I am equally adept at both I am usually the one they ask to lead them. Most of the time it feels like I am slinging around a 100+ pound bag of flour. The point is, following is its own unique skill and needs to be respected as such.

Don't EVER have the mindset that because you know how to lead you automatically know how to follow. There are professional dance instructors who have over 20 years experience and they will flat out tell you they are horrible followers. It's really annoying to see the lead (almost always a guy) get all the praise and accolades while the follower is seen as nothing but a prop. So, again, please take the role of follower seriously if you really want to learn.

Assuming you do want to learn I will post a lengthy post later on because I am headed out the door to go...dancing! Whether you seriously want to learn or not make sure you have fun or what's the point!

[Sometimes Steffi]

I guess the main difference between Steffi dancing and boy me dancing is that boy me is very self conscious and needs two beers before being able to get on the dance floor. Last year at Keystone there was a DJ playing tunes, but no one dancing. Steffi tried to talk some other girls into dancing, but no one was interested. So, Steffi went on to the dance floor and danced alone, without any liquid courage, until others finally joined her.

Remember the saying about Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Fred Astaire got all the credit for being a great dancer, but Ginger Rogers did it backwards and on heels.

Forget the rules; just dance.

[faltenrock]

Whn I was out in a club last week on Saturday, a young woman came over to sit next to me and talk to me. It was in the outside smoking area.
First she asked for my name and then asked how I could walk in my heels and even dance with them.
Normally I wear classic pumps with about 3" plus heels, about 9 cm. That night I wore my new black pumps with a very small stiletto heel, very thin.
However we probably talked for about 20 min.
I noticed that she had old scars on her right arm. I think she is a Borderline persona.
I wrote about another BPD woman last year, BPD women seem to be attracted to me. But sorry, that's not the subject here.

[Ceera]

I was in my 50’s when I started cross dressing. I bought some 2” pumps and some stiletto heels at 3” and 4” height, and practiced by wearing them around the house - walking and doing dance moves on various surfaces - carpet, hardwood floors, the concrete back patio... I also looked up advice on-line, and found out about something called the “Alexander technique”, which has to do with improving posture and balance while in motion. There is a lady named Chyna Whyne who shows how to dance in super high stilettos using that method. Very much worth checking out! After a couple of weeks practice at home I was able to go to nightclubs in 4” heels, and dance for hours!

I have taken dance classes in various styles, and have also taught dancing. Long before I ever thought of cross dressing, I volunteered to be one of the guys who would do part of the dance class on the ladies’ side, to even out the numbers. I will agree that leading and following are different skills. A good lead gives their partner subtle cues for what they want to do next - especially in the more free-form styles where twirls or even supported lifts might occur. A good follower has to sense these cues from their partner, making it look effortless.

After I started going out dancing a lot as a woman, I attended several classes on “queer tango”, where same-sex couples, mostly pairs of women, would learn both to lead and to follow. They appreciated my prior experience in both roles.

Most of my social circle these days are lesbians. Observing older and well-established couples dancing together, I saw that for some, one always leads, where for others, they take turns, sometimes even passing the lead role back and forth several times in one dance! There are no hard and fast rules, but often the person who invites someone else to join them on the dance floor will assume the lead role, or will clearly ask the other if they want to lead. At dances, a lot of same-sex dancers observe other couples and try to determine who prefers which role.

How to “dance like a woman”? Observe them! Learn by their examples. Watch videos of women dancing, or attend dance events and watch other people, and try to copy the kinds of moves you see them use.

[Majella St Gerard]

Practice, practice, practice.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm well into my 70's and dance for hours almost every time I go out!:battingeyelashes:

I prefer 4"+ spike heels. NEVER try dancing in platforms! Or, loose hi heels!:doh:

Couples dancing is not common in clubs. And, whenever another trans or GG tries it with me I SUCK!:sad:

But, otherwise? I suggest getting comfortable walking in heels then practicing at home in front of a mirror to get the basics. Then, add moves that u see GG's doing in clubs. That's what I do!:D

[CourtneyJamieson]

Hi Darci, I go out dancing in 4" heels all the time and I LUV it. It feels sooooo fem and sexy to dance in heels. I practice a little bit at home but you really just need to go out and do it. And I just go out dancing to clubs. Nothing formal so I don't need to worry about leading and following. And I can never understand how girls have trouble driving in heels. I have never had any issues when driving in 4" heels. Just seems natural.

[Glenda58]

Dancing heels are about 2'' high. I did ballroom dancing my SO at the time taught ballroom and country line dancing I would help by dancing in reverse to show the ladies how to dress it wasn't that hard. Now I can go out dress and go dancing.

[Meghan4now]

Great question Darci!

In addition to what has already been said (Ceera's was particularly good), I have observed that the quality of the shoe, and especially heel attachment and size is pretty important. I would never dance in my 5" sandles. First, the stiletto is too narrow. They feel like they could buckle at any time, and frankly feel like they aren't centered quite right. The narrower the heel, the more difficult. Also the higher the heel, the more challenging the stability can be. It's basic math, and too long to go into here. Then top it all off with ankle stability. My knee high slouch boots with a 4 inch heal are so comfortable and solid, I could do that basketball commercial. Even better than my pumps.

Plus practice, and while liquid courage may help, just being dressed gives me so much more confidence.

[Jenny22]

Ginger Rogers was once asked if she liked dancing with Fred Astaire , and she replied, " Yes, but remember, I have to do it backwards and in heels!"

[Becky Blue]

I found that dancing in heels and a skirt/dress is actually a lot easier than dancing in male pants and shoes. I think maybe its a combination of less restriction with the dress and a balance thing with heels.. with flat mens shoes I feel like I am clumping around and therefore feel restricted. In heels (I am not talking 6" stilettos) being more on my toes makes me feel more fluid. As others have said for both walking and dancing its vital that the shoes fit you properly and that your foot is very snug in the shoe.

Of course you might want to master walking first before dancing

[faltenrock]

Perhaps as an advise, try to wear lower heels first and go slightly higher when you feel comfortable in them. I would start with a 2" heel and go up to 3". A three inch heel looks beautiful already. my highest heel is about 4" which feels different over a 3" heel, especially walking in them. Most of my pumps are about 8 cm - 9 cm.

[kayla_bayarea]

I echo others that have said you first need to be able to walk in heels properly before dancing well in them. I have seen plenty of GGs who clomp around in their heels like a horse and wonder why they have trouble dancing in them. It's true that dancing in heels for some dances are actually easier than flats once you have your balance mastered. The reason is that for a lot of dances you are almost constantly on the balls of your feet. When you wear heels they automatically put you in that position and the shank running through the sole supports you. Plus you can kind of "rest" in that position. With flats you are relying purely on the strength of your feet and ankles. That is why I often practice in jazz or ballet shoes because my feet will get lazy. But first things first...balance.

Being balanced is almost all about alignment and less to do with the strength of your supporting muscles. A strong core helps when you are off balance to stabilize you but it's not what actually making you stay balanced. The balance point in your feet starts approximately between the web of your big toe and second toe and then runs down the center of your foot. You do not want to favor the outside edge of your foot near the pinky toe(sickling) but instead concentrate your weight more towards the inner 3 toes. From there you want to stack all of your bones straight vertically. When you are wearing heels you might think that standing completely straight up and down at a 90 degree angle is ideal but it's not. You will actually have trouble balancing like that. Again the balance point starts between the big toe and second toe and it will feel like you are almost leaning forward and will do a face plant. But, that's actually being in alignment. If you can't get your balance there's no way your are going to be dancing in heels.

Another thing is that you need to learn how to walk from toe to heel in many dances, especially faster paced ones. A stiletto or thin heel is not designed for you to be constantly putting weight on it. In dances like West Coast Swing where you are shifting weight back onto your heels several times I wear shoes with a small block heel (not stilettos). Which brings me to my next point. If you really are serious about learning the follower's role in partner dancing you need decide which dance you want to do the most. This is because certain shoes are better for certain dances. Tango heels look the most sexy and can top out at 105mm or more. They will usually have a leather bottom just like street shoes. When I dance Latin dances like Salsa or Bachata or another spin heavy dance like Zouk I wear Latin ballroom dance shoes. These usually go up to around 3" high and have different heel widths and have a suede bottom. These are probably what people think of when dance heels are mentioned. The reason you would want to buy specific dance shoes are fit and support. Unlike a lot of fashion brands, dance brands will usually have multiple widths. If the shoe doesn't fit well forget about really dancing in them. I wear my Louboutins, Choos, and Manolos for walking in the door and then sitting down at a table. I can barely dance in most of them because they are so, so narrow.

Anyway, if you aren't really that serious about learning to properly follow and dance in heels than what does it matter. Just go out there and try not to fall. Learning how to partner dance online is already bad enough. You really cannot become a good or even mediocre dancer that way. Someone describing how to dance through text in an online forum probably has about a zero chance of succeeding. I recommend you go take dance classes if you are really willing to learn. Alexander Technique was mentioned which I can recommend but to get any actual benefit you will need private lessons. This can get expensive fast. I took several lessons in Alexander Technique not to learn how to walk in heels but because I have scoliosis (of course I did have her spend some time on that as well!) The reason why Alexander Technique needs to be taught individually and in person is because there are many tiny adjustments in how you stand, sit, lie down, walk, etc. that you cannot feel or see without someone else's trained eye and experience.

I can give some general guidelines on basic follower's technique in another post but I'm wondering if people have even read down this far. This forum seems to want quick, superficial advice instead.

[Teresa]

Kayla,
Maybe we should asked what kind of dancing you were talking about , I get the impression you didn't mean ballroom style with an attached partner . My comments were made just bopping to the music in a more informal way . That's why I find it easier in heels because you can swivel on toes and heels more freely . I agree with Becky in fact the worse situation I had was when we did some disco dancing apres ski , we were all in heavy walking boots so we could get to the event through the deep snow and ice, even the ladies , calling it dancing was a farce , we all ended up in fits of laughter !!

[MonicaPVD]

How? Practice. Practice. Practice. Wear your heels as often as possible (around the house, for example) until you are no longer aware that you have them on.

[Karine]

Hello ladies,

I am a big fan of heels and I like to dance too.

From my experience:

1/ Like walking, dancing in heels solicit different muscles. What I do, in addition to learn to be comfortable in heels, is stretching exercises.
I am talking about stretching exercises from head to toe. He helps me to make smoother movements and to loosen up (especially targeted muscles and articulations like back, neck, knees, ankles, thigh muscles, calf muscles).

2/ Like Teresa said, wearing heels in dancing can ease dancing since you can swivel on toes and heels more freely. In the past, before starting cross-dressing, I used to take salsa dance lessons. One day I sympathized with a girl and took a drink with her after the class, she switched shoes saying that her heels were painful and that she was not used to wear heels in every day life.
Naively, I asked her why in this case she was taking dance lessons with? She replied that it is more easy to dance with for some steps and teasing me that I should try. Now, with hands-on experience :heehee: I totally agree with her.

3/ You could also find the right shoes for dancing, the best one are heels with ankle strap, short platorm and heels not too spiky.

Keep having fun.
Karine.