Need to meet other Girls

[AmandaRaquel]

Do you find that you want to meet other CDs in real life?
And if so how do you do it?

I go back and forth. Sometimes it is nice to be in my own world only but sometimes I feel like it would be good to meet another girl like I. The problem is that it is so darn difficult to do it.
Plus if I find someone, I want to ensure that I can be friends with that person and that CD is not the only thing we may have in common.

Just to clarify - I am married and my wife is supper supportive. However we also have kids and that limits our ability to go out. Basically what I am saying is that I am looking for a CD friend. Nothing sexual.

So here is my question to all of you fantastic ladies. Do you have news to find a “CD friend”. If so, how are you doing it? And any progress (good bad or between?)

[Tracii G]

Join a local support group go out and have coffee or a meal after the regular group meeting.
I met a few really great CD friends and we are still friends after 8 years.

[AllieSF]

I agree with Tracii. Support groups, which most of the time are more like organized social gatherings to help people improve their skills and to meet others, are a great start. Also, look for members here local to you and just start up informal conversations with them, read some of their posts and do not hesitate to meet up in male mode to see if there is any type of click. My first time out was with two people from this site, one of whom remains my friend since 2007. Several of my newer friends are also from this site too. Just keep networking and talking to those you meet at support groups or here on this site. Good luck.

[Tracii G]

Support groups are just people like you trying to find themselves too.
Check with the LGBT office in your area and ask them if they know of any groups close to you.
The groups aren't kinky sex/porn groups like you may be thinking they are more a social group that discuss CD and trans issues.
Gaining a local group was one of the best things I have done because it help me discover more about myself.

[phili]

I went to Trans March and to Trans Day of Remembrance- which is coming right up- check on google! you'll find lots of crossdressers in the trans community and a safe and accepting environment!

[docrobbysherry]

There r large T gatherings all over the country. I was curious like u, about many of the dressers I chatted with here. So, 10 years ago I jumped on a plane to Atlanta for my first ever outing at my first SCC. I attended 4 and met maybe 100 CD.comers?:)

I've attended events all over since then and found a local group of T's I see often. I believe T's r remarkable and interesting company! And, I'm straight.:hugs:

[Anne E]

Check with the LGBT office in your area and ask them ...

There are offices?

[Michelle Vinova]

Hi Amanda!
I feel the same way and have wondered the exact same thing. For some reason, I don’t want to go to a group where there is a mix of guys as guys, MIADs, and full cross. I’m closeted (other than wife) and kinda introverted so that’s probably why not.

Seems easier just to meet as guy friends knowing you have CD in common. And MAYBE at some point you have a friend to go out dressed together with.

[Tracii G]

Michelle you don't have to be in girl mode to go to a group meeting.
Its all about meeting people like you.
Anne google LGBT in your city and yes they have offices and what they call pride centers for group meetings.
All this is not going to drop in your lap Michelle you have to make the first move and put some effort into meeting like minded people.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Let's see, how did I do it?

I found someone on this forum who lived nearby, and we arranged to meet in neutral territory in a trans-friendly bar (in girl mode). It was my first time out meeting another girl. She introduced me to 2 friends, and they introduced me to two friends, and soon we were a group. This group consisted of 90 girls at last year's Christmas gala ball. I

I found someone on this forum who lived in a city where I was going on business. One time we met in boy made at a local restaurant. Another time we met in girl mode and went to a restaurant with her social group. We also went to Maurice's as a group for after closing shopping.

I went to Keystone where I met hundreds of other girls, and kept in touch we several girls who lived near me. One of them I meet in girl mode once a month. Another girl and I have met in boy mode a couple of times.

I've met several girls on the forum and invited them to meet me at one of my local girl's social group.

I've met about 1/3 of my friends on this forum FtF.

[Michelle Vinova]

Michelle you don't have to be in girl mode to go to a group meeting.
Its all about meeting people like you.
Anne google LGBT in your city and yes they have offices and what they call pride centers for group meetings.
All this is not going to drop in your lap Michelle you have to make the first move and put some effort into meeting like minded people.

Thanks Traci! Yeah, I haven’t been expecting a “real life” CD friend to appear without putting myself out there first. Like Amanda said, I’ve lived my whole life without one. Curious from those who have met CD friends, was it worth the effort? What do you get that you don’t get here on this forum?

[Tracii G]

Yes it was very much worth it !!
I have made a few trans friends to go out with and go to concerts or out to historical places or to just hang out as friends.
You get true friends to talk to and not some random person on the internet that you really don't know.
Its a no brainer IMO. Meet others in person is the way to go.

The way I look at it its better to experience others as real friends rather than wishing you could find a friend but were too scared to try.
You can't expect change if you keep doing the same thing and hiding in your closet.
Its nerve wracking at first sure I totally understand but once out and having fun in public all the fears and doubts fade away quickly.

[JenniferGirl]

I am just starting to get active in crossdressing after years of hibernating and I used to think that way, but I have this overwhelming need to get out and socialize with other crossdressers at this time in my life. I am a very introverted person normally, but for some reason the thought of getting dressed up has me becoming more social and extroverted; however, each person is different and I have a long way to go before I get to that point.

[Beverley Sims]

As everyone says join a local support group and maybe the meet ups section here will be of assistance for you.

[Steph_CD_62]

I live in the middle of Nebraska and there isn't a support group near where I live. I would have to probably have to drive 2 1/2 to 3 hours just to attend one and I'm not even sure if Lincoln or Omaha has support groups. On top of all the traveling, I am not sure how comfortable I would be meeting others. I am glad that most of you live close enough to others. My only support is my wonderful wife and this site.

[Teresa]

AmandaR.,
I have to agree with others find a social group , most will offer some sort of dressing facilities , so you may be able to dress just for those few hours . Many also welcome wives / partners so they can dress up as well and possibly chat to other women to help them with accepting the situation.

HappilyM...,
If you have to travel why not do a weekend stopover , once you've joined you may find a local member prepared to offer changing facilities in their home or even a bed for the night , I don't have any problems with that , we share a cab to the event so we can enjoy a drink as well . We do get a mix of dressing styles but at least it is a safe situation to find your confidence .

[Kalisopwith]

I just found a local group with monthly meetings and get togethers! I am so looking forward to it!

[Teresa]

Kali,
Keep us posted , I hope it goes well for you .

[Majella St Gerard]

I just meet people when I go for a night out for karaoke, I started at gay establishments to get my feet wet and become more comfortable. I have made many friends that way gay, straight, CD and trans. I don't go for the social gathering or support group, just not my thing, I went once and it felt like an AA/NA meeting. Like others have said there are groups out there if you need. Good luck.

[Jenny22]

Amanda, you've already done one thing right that will get attention .. you showed where you live... NYC. Watch for sisters' postings that include NYC or nearness and contact them by PM. Support groups are a start and will give you a reason for you and your WIFE to go together as many couples do. Does your wife approve of your looking for other CDers in your area? If yes, if they have supportive wives, always try to make your wife a part of your "off premises activity".

[Tracii G]

I was scared to get out and go to a support group meeting too and made up all kinds if excuses not to go for several months so I know the fears people have.
I just wish people would be honest with themselves and the members here and just admit they are too scared to do it and stop making excuses of why they can't go and meet people.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I live in the middle of Nebraska and there isn't a support group near where I live. I would have to probably have to drive 2 1/2 to 3 hours just to attend one and I'm not even sure if Lincoln or Omaha has support groups. On top of all the traveling, I am not sure how comfortable I would be meeting others. I am glad that most of you live close enough to others. My only support is my wonderful wife and this site.

How far are you from Denver. That's where I met the girl from this forum who hooked me up with her social group. That's where I went to dinner with a group of 15 girls, and then shopping at Maurice's.

- - - Updated - - -



Curious from those who have met CD friends, was it worth the effort? What do you get that you don’t get here on this forum?


It's so worth it. We can go to a restaurant/bar just like the normals. My BFF and her wife go to eat out together as 3 girls, go shopping in the mall as 3 girls, go into the ladies' dressing room to try on clothes as 3 girls.

We hear a lot of growing up stories FtF, rather than in a forum. We get dressing tips, can see how others have applied makeup, can commiserate with others in DADT and be happy for and jealous of CDs with a participating wife.

I guess the best thing is that we share the bar with the normals. We often have absolutely wonderful conversations with the GGs (and sometimes even the GMs) who share our space. Sometimes there a yound women who are staying at the hotel for a soccer or swim meet. The are much more appreciative of us and often comment about our glam look, how much fun we appear to be having, how brave we are, and sometimes even join in our karaoki or photographs.

I think we all use the ladies' bathroom without fear.

[alwayshave]

So I originally went to a local trans friendly bar, though I live in the city. I also go to a local trans group where I met Steffi.

[Teresa]

Tracii,
Social skills are a separate entity to CD issues , if you have problems with both it may never happen , not much anyone can do about that . I feel Majella's comments are a little biased as they only relate to one experience . I attend social groups and not help groups , saying that they do help people deal with their issues .

[lisa11422]

I'm with you Amanda, I like my own world but would be nice to meet as friends as well.

I guess finding other common interests other than dressing could be a good way other than 'cd groups'

If you like golf Im out in LI, maybe catch a round or hit a bucket sometime

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I adore the support group I attend. The girls are ever so nice and friendly. The only difficulty is that it is an hour or two away, and it is so difficult, and expensive, to attend, regularly. Sometimes I wish there were one or two "girls" near to me, who I can socialize with. That would be so adorable! It is so difficult to be alone as Roxanne, all of the time. A friend would be ever so valuable to me.
Roxanne Lanyon

[Tracii G]

Teresa some people need to get over their "social skills" anxiety excuse.
They should have learned social skills growing up when going to school and playing with other kids.
CDs are some of the most prolific excuse makers I know.
There is only one way to make friends and that takes effort from the person looking for friends and no one else.
If CDs piss and moan about not finding others like them to have as friends then who's fault is that?

PS I'm not being mean just being honest because how can things change if you don't institute the change?
In other words don't expect the situation to miraculously change if you do nothing.

[Jean. Ann]

I would love to
see a support group
started in the Plains area of Texas .
I have tryed to start one , no luck

[Micki_Finn]

I have ome good friend I met here through these forums. I don’t remember who reached out to who, but we noticed we had similar outlooks on a lot of issues and were somewhat close geographically so we just started talking via text message and now we’re thick as thieves. Have also met some of the forum sisters here at events. Just got to put yourself out there and start making contacts.

[Asew]

I similarly have a supportive wife and kids at home, so I found a monthly event at night that I go to and it has been great to dress and socialize with similar people.

[Teresa]

Tracii,
I get the drift , sometimes we do have new members who choose not to make the effort and then discover they hated the experience because no one spoke to them . OK some wonder if I do come up for air but that's just me but I do try and check out any new faces, not always easy as some are frozen to the spot ! Lets face it to some the experience of escaping out the front door , driving their car and then sitting dressed for the first time in front of some knock out girls is so far out of their comfort zone . Looking back I can see the value of taking the late night drive just to test the water .

[Eemz]

I was scared to get out and go to a support group meeting too and made up all kinds if excuses not to go for several months so I know the fears people have.
I just wish people would be honest with themselves and the members here and just admit they are too scared to do it and stop making excuses of why they can't go and meet people.

I think this is very true. If you're scared that's perfectly OK, you don't need any excuses. Meeting new people on purpose is tough.

I went to a local social group meetup a few times last year, nothing to do with CD, and I put it off so many times. I was nervous about meeting new people, having to find things to talk about, what they'd think of me and vice versa, and all that. I actually think that meeting other CDs would have been easier - at least we'd have something in common to break the ice!

I'm meeting someone from this site for the first time on Wednesday. I'm looking forward to it, but also nervous. She seems lovely, but she could be a nutcase in person, or deadly boring. But then so could I - she's taking the same chance (I'm not nuts though - don't believe anything the voices in my head tell you). But screw it. That's just fear of the unknown and if you let that stop you you'd never do anything new.

[Maria in heels]

Amanda....this is a very tough question and over the years, I have seen both sides... I grew up alone and without the internet, so there was little chance to meet someone with similar "tastes" unless you frequented the bars in NYC late at night along the "wrong side of the tracks". Back then we were limited, because there was no person to person contact, and I think that carried out to daily life for me. I am a bit older than you, in no way grandma, and I sometimes envy your generation, including you, Lisa11422, because it is much easier for you get be able to find someone to just talk with. However, there have been many online relationships that I tried to build with others, and they would just "die off" as usual because there is only so many things that you can talk about.

Of course, there were the "crazy" ones as well....leading you on and then WHAM! you get a strange request that makes you uncomfortable and you just ignore them. Maria also grew up with AOL, so we thankfully had messenger, and after many years, peoples lives change and we just don't speak to each other anymore...but that and yahoo messenger were the only things available to Maria to seek out friends.

Today, we have different places, support groups, and even this forum ... I had a couple of friends here, but they too phased themselves out, and many of the sisters that signed up years ago are no longer here, but their names still exist. it is truly sad, and yes, you can establish a friendship that has things other than just talking about your other self and try to get out and do other things. You may also meet the ones that talk, things seem to go well, and then after a couple of meetings, you just don't get a response....some girls are also in love with the idea and not the actual relationship....they also may want to experiment and are hung up on many different things....

It is very confusing, and I hope that you find someone to talk with and share just daily life.....

[lisa11422]

Hi Maria although the internet brought more info, definitely not easier.

Trying to meet a non sexual non insane sister friend on the internet never has and never will be a good way

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Amanda,
Simply expressing an interest in going out and meeting with others was all it took for me.
If you aren’t able to find the time for attending group meetings, I would try to find someone from
this forum that you can connect with. You can sorta get an idea of what people are like from reading
their posts. If you think you’ve found someone that can help you, ask them through PM’s to share additional
contact info like an email or possibly a phone number.
I think you’ll find that once you’ve gotten to know someone here that your conversations will be more ordinary than you might think. Sure you’ll talk about your CDing, but eventually, the more you get to know about someone the conversations become more about your everyday life things like family, work, hobbies etc.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[AmandaRaquel]

Thank you. I read all replies and it seems like I have some work to do.
Love the support from this site.

[Steph_CD_62]

How far are you from Denver. That's where I met the girl from this forum who hooked me up with her social group. That's where I went to dinner with a group of 15 girls, and then shopping at Maurice's.


I am about 6 to 7 hours from Denver

[Maria in heels]

I still have hope Lisa...because not all of us are "crazy" !!!! But if you cannot keep up a conversation on the phone or via messages/emails, then its destined not to be. You have to make sure that you are clear as to your "intentions" and one can only "lie" so much or for so long before everything collapses. I think that many of us are just looking for a friend, or as I call them, a sister to talk with that can understand and you too have to understand their feelings and thoughts....

[maya1]

Has anyone had luck with fetlife? I joined briefly a few years ago because a couple of CD friends who did my first makeover suggested it. But I found it was very sex driven and had a lot of people who were into other types of fantasies unrelated to crossdressing. They had some local groups that seemed like a good way to meet people but I got a bit of the creepy vibe from the lurkers there.

[Robertacd]

I also would like to meet other girls, there is a fairly decent size T community here for a small town, but it's rather cliquey and they seemed uninterested in an old lady like me hanging around.

[Francene Lola Dupree]

I've always wanted to go out to BNO or Pink Punters TGirl night in the UK, i love the idea of getting all dolled up for a night out.
Failing that i'd like to meet a crossdresser in drab for a coffee, a chat and some shopping
xXx