You talkin' to me?

[Helen_Highwater]

Now I know this may ruffle a few feathers but please know that this is an observation and I'm not criticising anyone.

In replying to a post I always try to address the person, be that the poster or someone who's added their own thoughts, by name. Partly out of a sense of politeness and also for clarity. There have been occasions were I've started a thread, someone replies and I've been left unsure as to whether their comments are to my scribblings or the person who posted the reply previous to theirs.

Hence the title of this thread. There are times when I'm like Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver. Is this something that requires my response or not.

Again no criticism intended but there are a few usernames that make addressing the poster personally, on a human, person to person level impossible. Quite rightly we're all free to choose our own user name as long as it doesn't cause offence. As nonsensical as you like, say Ctrupippup. Personally I would love to find at the bottom of Crrupipup's posts a name, Jane, Jill, Freda, I've always liked Helena, don't know why...... that I can use to address that person, personally.

I know we all largely hide behind the anonymity of the screen but each of us is a person, flesh and blood, human. We wouldn't want to be addressed as "Oi you" or "What's yer name" in real life and how often have you, in introducing yourself to someone in the real world said, "Sorry I don't know your name I'm Helen" as a way of eliciting theirs.

People are free here not to pick a "usable" name if they so choose. I would ask however let's all treat each other as well, as politely, in as civilised way as possible.

BTW, if you didn't know, my name is Helen

[Stephanie47]

I know it is a faux pas to use a bubble when commenting about a comment just before my posting. If I am making a comment about a comment I try to add the number of the comment I am addressing. It makes it easier for a reader to scroll back up to see what I am commenting about. Sometimes the thread goes off on a tangent and the poster's thoughts are lost. Sometimes I see a comment redirecting the conversation back to the original commentary. I do get confused sometimes when I see a comment addressed to another Stephanie without adding a suffix or prefix such as my (47) after Stephanie47.

So in case by the time I hit the 'reply' button somebody else has posted a comment my comment is related to Helen at (#1).

[Jean 103]

I for one am appalled anyone would behave this way, Windy, Ethel, Pamela.

Oh sorry, Hellen

[Eemz]

Yeah, I don't generally add a name if it's a general response to the post like "something similar happened to me" that's sort of for all readers. I do put in a name if it's a specific response like "I'm sorry Hfuhruhurr but I don't agree that marmite is edible" so that it's clear that I think Hfuhruhurr has strange ideas about foodstuffs, not everyone reading this.

[Crissy 107]

If I want to make a point to the OP or another poster I like to use their name, if they let us know what it is. Otherwise if it’s just a general comment like this I just post it.
Crissy

[Teresa]

Helen,
I always address my replies to the intended person whether it's a reply to the author of the thread or someone making a reply . It does lead to confusion and sometimes heated moments when the wrong person misunderstands it as a personal attack .

I also agree with the choice of user names , it maybe rude of me but sometimes I look for ways of abbreviating it . I agree some need to be anonymous but maybe consider a name a little easier to reply to .

It might be interesting to find out if anyone has had problems with revealing their identity with a user name .

OK just to add a rant , I find it annoying when making a phone call and you have to leave a message on their answerphone , some people don't reveal their name or number , in those circumstances you never know if you've left a message on a total strangers answer machine . On one occassion someone I called used a pre-recorded message by Kenneth Williams using his county bumpkin voice , I just slammed the phone down !!

[Cassandra Lynn]

I agree totally Helen, though I may be guilty of sometimes 'flock shooting'.
I know I have said something along the lines of "I see that several of the posts______". I do this usually when I've taken offense at something, and feel like it's better to be anonymous. Our newer members are prolly dealing with shyness and think it'd be rude to 'speak' at someone like they know them, so we do need to be patient.
But most of us who've been around can tell by join dates and post counts whose new.

Not exactly on topic, but I find this whole lack of clarity in communication to be a very big problem in society at large. It's hard enough for us dealing with this cyber format to get the correct sentiment across, without the aids of vocal context and inflection, body language and all that like we do face to face.

I have one or 2 friends that insist on texting with me. I'm in my mid 50s and while I don't mind quick back and forths for some info, for casual conversation i'd much rather either speak vocally or better yet wait and talk in person.
Drives me bonkers and they usually lose patience with me because I can't keep up, though they continue to do it anyways. doh.

Cass

[docrobbysherry]

I believe your post is directed at me, Helen. But, because u didn't mention my name I'm not sure-----:straightface:

[Crissy 107]

Cass, To go a little off topic, I totally agree with talking with people on the phone rather then texting. My wife will be on her flip phone texting with someone and I will finally say it would be much easier to just call.
As far as here, it makes it much more personal using a members name.
Crissy

[beckypanties]

Stephanie47, be aware that the comment numbers aren't visible to users logged in to the mobile site.

[Bobbi46]

I have to admit that obscure names are a bit confusing in that why hide behind be totally unconnected name why not use a proper name or a version of the real name like I do, I have nothing to hide the chances of all and sundry finding about me is about 0% as would be the members of my family, so my question is why hide?

[Helen_Highwater]

I believe your post is directed at me, Helen. But, because u didn't mention my name I'm not sure-----:straightface:

Sherry,

No not at all. Almost everyone here knows(and loves)you as Sherry. That's why I choose Ctrupippup as my example. I could never see myself addressing someone as Pippup unless that was how they signed themselves at the bottom of each post. Then I'd respect their choice.

I suppose at the back of my mind is the thought that if someone feels the need for remain anonymous even within our community what chance do we stand to place ourselves out in the wider view.

[alwayshave]

Helen, I agree with you. I always try to use the individuals name.

[Beverley Sims]

Helen,

Not all the time but I try and search out the name a person uses rather than what their username is.

By the way Heyyou is a correct name, it was the name of B.O. Plenty's dog in the Dick Tracy comics of years ago.

B.O. Plenty was the name of a hobo informer that apparrently did not wash all that often. :-)

I have been called Hey! You! a number of times over the years.

[Rachelakld]

Ya no
I can't do quotes either like Helen_Highwater can
I think to put a name on it is getting a bit personal in a group chat unless your "specifically targeting/re-enforcing/objecting too" something someone said.
When I have group chats in person, with mates, I don't name them each time I want to speak about "the general topic", that's why I don't do it here either.

[t-girlxsophie]

If anyone was using something like Crrupipup as a username fair enough I suppose,but if you want to stay anonymous perhaps use a bit of humour,or imagination when deciding on a name

I try to use a person's name in a reply,but I do sometimes forget but as yet it's not led to any huge misunderstandings.Must do better

Helen,One of my best friends is called Helena it is a lovely name,I do enjoy the section on here where people tell why they chose a certain name

Sophie

[DaisyLawrence]

Yeah, I don't generally add a name if it's a general response to the post like "something similar happened to me" that's sort of for all readers. I do put in a name if it's a specific response like "I'm sorry Hfuhruhurr but I don't agree that marmite is edible" so that it's clear that I think Hfuhruhurr has strange ideas about foodstuffs, not everyone reading this.

Yeah that :)

Ann Uumellmahaye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT0CScFzp1o

[Patience]

I used to always quote the person I was responding to for courtesy and clarity. Unfortunately, being burned from getting it "wrong" too many times put me off the practice altogether. Now, l rely on people understanding my responses by context.

And as much as we want to normalize crossdressing, it is perfectly reasonable for some to want to keep their online life separate from their real life for their own personal reasons. More often than not, less than 10% of the folks on this site are actual registered users. The rest are guests just lurking about the forum.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Girls, I do not lurk! I am here, and I am Roxanne Lanyon. I am learning more and more everyday to love who I am, and I am proud of being sweet, gentle, and loving. I so wish I could be Roxanne forever! One day, . . . . .?

[Krisi]

Normally, if I want to respond to a particular comment, I use the "Reply With Quote" option. This makes it pretty clear who my post is directed to.

As for user names, something believable seems right to me. Something that my mother might have named me if I had been born female.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
The problem with replying with quotes can aften fill a whole page of duplicates of the original thread , I find it annoying especially when all the pictures are used with quotes as well, we have all read the initial thread we don't need to have it repeated . The other point of using part quotes as a reply is the are often used out of context to the original thread and often they then sidetrack it .

[Wendy me]

Hello Helen, Wendy here I talk to everyone when replying to a post or thread that I feel I want the poster to know I am talking to them I use their name .....

As far as names you can call yourself a fire truck if that's persons desire.....

When I meet persons in real life that I want to know Wendy I use Wendy as that's who I chose to be with them ....

Also I am a beach girl and on cape cod and on occasion have encounters with persons who are gay who miss read me as a straight male when out to eat at a restaurant and when the check comes I pay it include a tip and write love Wendy on it...

[Krisi]

Krisi,
The problem with replying with quotes can aften fill a whole page of duplicates of the original thread , I find it annoying especially when all the pictures are used with quotes as well, we have all read the initial thread we don't need to have it repeated . The other point of using part quotes as a reply is the are often used out of context to the original thread and often they then sidetrack it .


The point of the reply with quote is so it's clear to everyone who you are replying to. Sometimes the reply is not to the original poster but to someone who replied to the original poster. Yea, you don't have to include pictures unless they are relevant.

As for being annoying, if you find it annoying you can just skip over that part.

[Charlotte7]

...You can also edit the quote to only have the bit that you want to refer to. You don't have to put up the whole thing as is. This quote isn't a quote BTW, it's an example.


Which has to be a sensible idea.

[Rachelakld]

8 out of 24 so far.
Higher than I expected.
Thread on "love winter" - 0 out of 7