Thinking about going on a GNO

[nikkiwindsor]

I'm trying to summon up the courage to go on a GNO. What are they like and is there a group of gals in the Asheville, NC area that can help me feel comfortable expressing my feminine side in public? I would really appreciate the help and support! Nikki

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Nikki,
They’re just like a night out with the guys, the difference is that you won’t get chastised for ordering a Cosmo or a Lemon Drop.
I believe you’re still allowed one phone call should things get outa hand? I’d also recommend keeping a credit card with at least $500 available credit with you at all times should you need to post bail!
Other than that...just go have some fun!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Becky Blue]

Nikki, i have had several GNO's personally I have found them a LOT better than a night out with the guys as I always find that pretty boring. Some of my nights out have involved a nice dinner or a coffee with a group of girls, others have involved dancing, partying, drinking and kicking up our heels... all fantastic in their own ways. Remember the concept of being out and blending is out the window.

I hope you can find some local girls to meet up with, I always make sure I have enough cash on me for a taxi and some.

[Sevenkittycat]

I would love to come to an Ashville GNO. Always lots of fun when a group of Carolina Gals get together. The “Greensboro Girls” get together most every weekend for dinner or drinks and they are delightful. Let’s rally our local friends and plan your best ever GNO.

[Helen_Highwater]

Nikki,

Just being in the company of like minded souls will make your day. It's an opportunity to chat, share experiences, make new friends.

Don't hesitate, just go for it.

[Sarah Louise]

Yes, just do it. You'll love it. As to what they're like, well that depends. The ones I attend tend to be very civilised with just a few girls getting glammed up and having a chat over a meal and drinks. But there are events that I've seen advertised that have a more seedy side to them and attract male admirers. Best to check beforehand unless that's your thing - lol. (Knowing you, I assume not!)

[alwayshave]

Nikki, I go semi-regularly and they are great. I group of girls that you can relate to and talk with is liberating.

[Beverley Sims]

Every night was a GNO for me when I was eighteen.

Hanging out with the guys instead was a real bummer.

[Teresa]

Nikki,
Simple answer , a lot of fun and you'll kick yourself for not doing it sooner .

I know the big concern is how to dress and will your makeup be good enough ? If you can find someone with pictures of previous events check them out to see how the other girls present themselves . The main point is where will the GNO take place , if it's in a private venue then presentation is a little more flexible . If it's in a public place like a hotel then maybe dress it down a little and don't be tempted to go OTT , once you find your feet and gain confidence you can start to do your own thing , it's always hard for a newbie but everyone is on your side , they have all experienced the first time !

[Asew]

I second Teresa's comment "you'll kick yourself for not doing it sooner". I was thinking about going to my local GNO in April or May, and never ended going until September. Mostly worried about not fitting in. But mine accepts girls of all types and has been one of my favorite things to do every month since.

[MiniRock]

I presume that GNO is a night out with other TGirls - which sounds like quite a hoot. Or is it a night out in costume with a bunch or real girls? Or a mixture of the two? Now that would be fun.

[docrobbysherry]

What a coinkidink! Tomorrow is T girl nite at Hamburger Mary's in Long Beach! With 500 folks there? You'd hardly be noticed but be everyone's friend u talk to! That's what it's like, Nikki!:hugs:

The more girls, the less u stand out, more u fit in. Even true for Sherry!:devil:

[Sara Marshall]

Hi Nikki! I am also contemplating an outing with other girls in the future, and Asheville isn’t too terribly far from me. I would love to have another newbie to venture out to dine and shop with, along with some gals who have been out before. Keep me posted, and if the date works I’m in. Sara

[nikkiwindsor]

I need to figure out how to approach my wife and ask her to be ok with me going out.

[Karen RHT]

That's a bridge too far for many wives Nikki. Not impossible, but it usually takes quite some doing. Ask me how I know. :brolleyes:

[Aunt Kelly]

I'd guess the odds are against such a group in Asheville. Statistically (Williams study), there are almost 30,000 TG folk in the greater Asheville area. A fair share of them will be FtM, so you're already working with a small pool.

Now... I hope I'm wrong, and if I'm not, I certainly hope you can get something going in that area, because there is nothing to compare to a girls' night out. Maybe some like minded neighbors here will reach out (I'm looking at you, Asheville lurkers). You could also contact a support group, which will almost certainly exist in a community that size. And lest anyone conflate the two again, a GNO and a support group are not the same thing. Just suggesting that the former is more common and might lead to the latter.

Happy hunting, Nikki, and if you're ever in Houston, you're welcome to join us.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've been to Asheville, en homme, and with my wife, but I remember this slogan about Asheville:

“If you’re too weird for Asheville…you’re too weird."

But, now I understand the real problem:

I need to figure out how to approach my wife and ask her to be ok with me going out.

My wife had been out of town a lot, taking care of her parents, and my daughter moved into an apartment with her friends, so I had a lot of time alone. I found a group of local girls, and went out with them a lot, without having to ask permission. When my wife was home, I just told her that I was going out drinking with "the guys", which was technically true. What I didn't tell her it that all "the guys" were wearing dresses. The lies and deceit got to be too much for me.

I used what looked like a PowerPoint briefing to ask her "permission" to go yo the Keystone Conference for 4 days, and she agreed. What she didn't know was that I was going to go with or without her permission. What I didn't know was that she gave me "permission" because she thought it would get it out of my system. I guess it didn't get it out of my system, because I'm planning on my 8th consecutive Keystone Conference this March.

I don't think anyone knows what will or will not work on their wife.

Here's a pic of my Halloween GNO

https://www.meetup.com/Washington-Transgender-Meetup/photos/29390971/475841440/#475841440

There were a bunch of teenage GG soccer players there for a competition:

https://www.meetup.com/Washington-Transgender-Meetup/photos/29390971/475841440/#475841863

They couldn't help but take some pics of all the "girls" enjoying themselves on Halloween.

And, here's one of me as a mermaid:

https://www.meetup.com/Washington-Transgender-Meetup/photos/29390971/475841440/#475841903

How could all that not be fun and empowering.

[Sevenkittycat]

Wow Steffi! What a great turnout you had for Halloween. I thought maybe we could get 5 or 6 girls to come out in Asheville. Gotta crawl before we walk. Hopefully some other local or semi-local girls like me will chime in and we can get something started.

[Leslie Mary S]

I haven't been able to connect with anyone in my neck of the woods.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Wow Steffi! What a great turnout you had for Halloween. I thought maybe we could get 5 or 6 girls to come out in Asheville. Gotta crawl before we walk. Hopefully some other local or semi-local girls like me will chime in and we can get something started.

One of girls got this started by having GNOs at her house. That was OK as long as it was under 20 or so girls, but once we started hitting 20 consistently, we moved to a public venue. Many times we've had wonderful interactions with the normals (mostly GGs) that make the events really something to remember.

For example, there were two occasions where some of the GGs were bemoaning the fact that us girls were (a little, LOL) better endowed than they were. I graciously allowed these GGs to try on my forms and take them for "a test drive". Unbelievably fun.

I don't want to make you jealous, but last Christmas, we had over 90 girls at a soiree.

https://www.meetup.com/DC-TransLadies-Community/photos/28383597/466782282/#466830574

[Anne K]

You should think about attending Keystone in March. It's like a GNO on steroids. It's safe, accepting, educational and a lot of fun. I attended the Southern Comfort Conference in September and while it was much smaller that Keystone, it was still fun. Those are great ways to scratch your GNO itch and make some friends.

[Jenny22]

Nikki, ask your wife to go along! Sometimes, wives do on a GNO, I'm told.

[Dee Baker]

Nikki,

I have been to a couple outings in Charlotte and had a great time. Connie.Marie invited me on both occasions however I don’t think she gets out so much now days.

One place I believe Connie and others from here have gone to in Asheville is Scandals. I had an invite to go there once but couldn’t make it.

I would enjoy a chance to get out again. Keep in touch.

Dee

[Sometimes Steffi]

You should think about attending Keystone in March. It's like a GNO on steroids.


Sort of. I think it's a GNO on Estrogen, not steroids!

[nikkiwindsor]

I'd so like to go out with gals living within a reasonable drive of Asheville...just have to figure out how to approach the wife about the idea.

- - - Updated - - -

Dee...I've heard of Scandals but don't have any idea what it's like. Trying to figure a way to get the ok from the wife to get out as Nikki

[laurenchanning]

I might be up for Asheville if I can work it into my schedule. Would love to meet everyone!

Lauren

[Dee Baker]

I'd so like to go out with gals living within a reasonable drive of Asheville...just have to figure out how to approach the wife about the idea.

- - - Updated - - -

Dee...I've heard of Scandals but don't have any idea what it's like. Trying to figure a way to get the ok from the wife to get out as Nikki

Nikki, I've never been there so all I know is whats on their website.

[Janet Murray]

Love Asheville. I'm in the Sav Ga area but could possibly make it up to Asheville for an evening....

[Leslie Mary S]

Love to go but that is a 339 mile trip one way. And would have to cross over the Appalations somewhere and with the snow coming, Think I will pass till next summer. Want to go dig gem stones in that area too.

[Hell on Heels]

About talking to your wife...It starts like this...Ummm? Sweety (ok,use your own nickname) There is something I want/need to do, and I really need you to be OK with it.

I don’t know what you’re thinking now but, how do you think this is gonna work out if you ASK and she says no? You definitely need to let her know how much this means to you. What would her concerns be if you were to go? I can imagine what they are, but she needs to verbalize them to you. Then the rest is up to you. Would calling her occasionally durring the night help calm her nerves (and possibly yours?) I’m sure you’ll have a better idea of what to discuss with her after you’ve gotten some of the GNO planning ironed out.

I’d love to be there with ya. Just tell me when to shift the car into drive! If I’m really trying...I can usually beat my GPS estimated travel time by about 5%, but please allow me enough time for a quick shower & shave before the scheduled meet-up.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[faltenrock]

sorry for the question but I'm from Germany, what is a GNO??

Someone here to explain that?

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Doreen,
GNO, is just another of those fabulous acronyms that EVERYONE is supposed to understand.
Girls Night Out (I hope? Or boy, am I screwed up!) is what we’re talking about here.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[nikkiwindsor]

I'm mulling over all the advice (public and private) I've received about asking my wife permission to go out. Eeerrr! Getting up the nerve to broach the subject is making me anxious. I still haven't gotten the nerve to ask her to see pics of me. I really want to get out of the house...if feel like I'm in prison.

Thanks to everyone who'd like to go out - so sweet!... I will get back in touch when i sort myself out. I need a lot of sorting out in my mind. Not fully expressing myself and sharing time with forum girlfriends is really driving me crazy.

To be with gals in person and hear their stories and experiences would be so awesome! We are all so unique and I'd just love to connect with everyone sharing a kindred feminine spirit.

[Natalie_]

I live relatively close to Asheville and would love to join in for a GNO. I just passed through there tonight and spent a couple of hours at Torrid. They helped me put together a super cute outfit. I loved it so much I had to wear it out of the store.

[Teresa]

Nikki,
To take up Kellly's point differenciating between a GNO and a social group isn't the problem , if a social group is easier then do it and don't hold back looking for a GNO . Your wife maybe happier when you finally broach the subject of hearing you prefer the safer choice of a social group . You may find it a better and easier situation to handle . We are looking to develop GNOs from our social group , they possibly need more confidence because you are more likely to be in the full view of the public whereas social groups often meet in private venues . Two of my groups meet in hotels and the third in a private meeting hall . I still prefer the interaction in hotels , to me meeting and mixing with the public is something I need to do and love doing it .

One other point about social groups is wives/partners often attend , you never know your wife might even join you to chat to other GGs , it does help them as well . Without social groups perhaps more TGs would be in therapy , while not being help groups they do serve a useful purpose .

[Genifer Teal]

I don't know the area but it seems like you got all the specific local decals already. The best part is seeing how everyone is and looks and carries them self and how you all fit in. Not only will you make a lot of great friends you will learn things that will improve your looks beyond anything you can learn online. I was afraid before going to my first convention if you will. That fear went away in the first hour I got there. That's a whole weekend different than just a night out but it's all the same hope you have a great time no reason you shouldn't.

[Aunt Kelly]

Nikki,
To take up Kellly's point differenciating between a GNO and a social group isn't the problem

To be clear, I differentiate between a GNO and a support group.
The former is a social function; just a group of friends getting together to enjoy dinner and conversation. Of course, such events often serve as a safe place for our TG friends who are perhaps just finding their way in public, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think that was important, but that is not the group's primary reason to exist. Last night's GNO is a prime example. Everyone who attended has been going out in girl mode for years.
A transgender support group, on the other hand, has as it's primary role, helping it's participants deal with the issues that all of us are familiar with in this largely still-binary world.

Yes, we may be splitting semantic hairs here, but there has been some contention about the differences before, and I thought it best to make things clear.

[Teresa]

Kelly ,
In that case as Nikki hasn't ventured out before so she maybe safer or happier joing a social group first , I did make the point that none of my social groups are help or support groups , if they provide that for some people that's a bonus .

[Sometimes Steffi]

Nikki

It's too bad that you don't have a "business trip" scheduled to DC.

Our next GNO is scheduled for 2/16. We usually have some girls coming from Richmond or Virginia Beach.

We're also kind of a social group, because you can arrange for one of us to meet you in the parking lot, walk in with you and introduce you to the other girls. Additional hand holding can be provided also.

BTW, we meet in public, but in a trans-friendly hotel.

Steffi

[Maria in heels]

Nikki....i'm definitely going to say that its time for a GNO! I just went on my first after all of these years, and I had a wonderful time. I went after discussing this with my wife, and also since it was not "near home" I was actually more comfortable about going and I told her so. With much anxiety, I did it and had a wonderful weekend, made two new friends, and actually am going on another GNO on Thursday, closer to home, but with one of my new friends, Ingrid. I am looking forward to Thursday and now I have the "bug"!