Spousal abuse, release!

[Stacy Darling]

This is not for help yet a release, and dare I say I'm not the only!

I've been getting ready for photos this Saturday, and preparation is ultimate!

Then with all of the prep, day after day my wife's anger grows to the point that a body wax puts her into a tailspin!

My face is a little messed up right now! it's only the left side though!
Stacy!

[kimdl93]

If your wife’s anger has turned to physical violence, then it is time for the two of you to get some distance and seek both individual counseling.

[alwayshave]

Stacy, I'm so sorry that you have been hit. Studies show that women are more likely to hit than men, its just not reported,

[Stacy Darling]

All good Jamie!!

And It's more to put it out there that is does happen, and even to those of us which are so vain (like me)

[Diane Taylor]

If your wife’s anger has turned to physical violence, then it is time for the two of you to get some distance and seek both individual counseling.

Don't you think it's the WIFE who needs the counseling?

[Stacy Darling]

Yes I do Di!, Yet the point of the thread was to point out the abuse which some of us cop, my background alone scares the mosquitos away, yet my beauty does?

[Crissy 107]

Stacy, I’m sorry to hear this but it does happen more often then we would think.

[Joni T]

Is it possible, do you think, that maybe-just MAYBE-your wife wants the MAN back in her life that she married? Hmmm? I'm just sayin'.....
Jon

[Lydianne]

Hi Stacy,

Sorry to hear about this. You're probably asking yourself how far this will escalate because if your wife doesn't get anger treatment, your injuries next time might not bear thinking about.

What was her demeanour after having some time to cool down? Apologetic? Remorseful?

@Joni T: Any condemnation for the methods? If not, what about if roles were reversed?

- Lydianne.

[docrobbysherry]

This doesn't sound like the first time, Stacy. And, I'll bet ALL your issues with her don't involve dressing, do they?:straightface:

[Majella St Gerard]

Unacceptable

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Stacy, does some part of you think, 'Fair enough - I earned it'?

I'm struggling to understand why else you would remain in an abusive relationship.

[LeannS]

any kind of abuse is unacceptable !! It makes it hard to trust the other partner and also divides couples
Stacy you are not alone in this al lot of other go through the same thing but stick it out till it gets worse or until they get sent to the hospital

What I am going to say I say to others that are in the same boat as you GET THE HELL OUT!!!! Don't look back and DON'T go back

[Stacy Darling]

There is no remorse Lydianne not a hint. Not the first time Doc is an understatement, I know where the psych ward is at the hospital, A safe place!

My wife is physically disabled Nikki, complicates things to the next level!

But hey! this was more about letting others open up and come out about abuse!
Stacy!

[conanj]

Stacy ... it's never ok to hit or be hit in a relationship. Get yourself some help or it will only get worse....

[Shybrenda]

Stacey,

Don,t let ruin your shoot and try to stay strong physical abuse is wrong on all levels.

Love, Brenda

[Macey]

Stacy, hon, this can't continue! I think you may want to get some counseling. Yeah, some have said SHE'S the one who needs it, and they are not wrong! But you're in an abusive relationship, probably emotionally abusive as well as physically, and I am so thrilled that we are here to help be an emotional support network. But please seek some professional help as well! I would seriously consider a secular counselor and a spiritual one. Whether your wife gets counseling or not is probably out of your control, but your own emotional and physical health is in yours!

[Alice B]

There is no excuse for such behaviour, unless you like it. I doubt that. Sopmething needs to be done. NOW!

[Eemz]

But hey! this was more about letting others open up and come out about abuse!
Stacy!

OK Stacy, so I'll speak from experience as well then. She rarely hit me, but I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for a long time and it took me about 5 years to get my head together afterwards. She would scream at me, break things of mine at my feet or by throwing them at the wall beside my head, tell me I was useless and that I never really loved her and throw me out of the house with nowhere to go on a Tuesday night in the middle of winter. And the next day she'd deny it ever happened. And I would go along with that, because otherwise that was the start of Round 2 and I had only myself to blame.

I rationalized and justified all these things because she had been abused as a child and had a lot of anger and PTSD. Bull ****. Nothing that happened in her life gave her the right to do that to me. And I'm going to say the same to you - I don't care if your wife is disabled. I don't care if she had the worst, most f-ed up life in the history of the planet. She has no right to treat you that way. And if she can't or won't stop, then you have no choice but to exit for your own safety, mental as well as physical.

[giuseppina]

:yt:

Short and sweet: It's time to see a lawyer and the police, Stacy. There is no excuse for this behavior. Documenting your injuries with the police is a good idea.

Find yourself a safe place. If necessary, take a day off work to move your stuff when she isn't home.

This nonsense has to stop.

[maya1]

Divorce.

[t-girlxsophie]

Joni,There is no way battering your partner,can be justified,or excused in any way.no matter the cause of the problem.Theres other ways to resolve the issue between Stacey and her wife than with physical attacks

Sophie

[Beverley Sims]

Very often in a domestic dispute it is the male partner that retaliates first.

[Maria_mtf]

:yt:

Short and sweet: It's time to see a lawyer and the police, Stacy.

I agree with the above but how would you actually do that? I dont have any dealings with police at all so I am niave or uneducated, would you call up and say my wife slapped me in the face? I am ok but wanted it on the record?

I persoanlly would be very embarresed to do that, especially if the end result would be questioning from police and then wife potentially bringing up my closeted crossdressing with police.

I am not trying to put anyone off doing this, hitting is unacceptable, but practically what would the process be?

[Stacy Darling]

I'm not good with social media so apologies for the poor responses!

Let's not forget how femme I am Beverly:doll:

Embarrassed Maria? Going to the police for most should be quite comforting these days. I won't go there as I've roughed them up a few times and we have no respect! I'd be the first to recommend It if I'd tried it though!
Stacy!

[ElianaFrozenflame]

Stacy,

I have been in an abusive relationship with my current wife, who is also physically handicapped. Counseling is not for just the wrong-doer. You need an objective perspective from someone who knows what is going on, and is not emotionally involved. If they counsel professionally, all the better. I understand why you would not want to get the police involved, so keep your cell phone handy, and download an app to record what's going on. No one ever earns a right to physically, nor emotionally abuse another person.

Also, think of it this way, if you really love your wife, getting out can help her too. She might come to her senses and begin acknowledging her need for counseling, so she does not loose her spouse. This is exactly what had happened with my wife. I sought help, we separated for two years, we sought marriage counseling while we were separated. We've been back together for four years now. No more abuse. She owned up to her part during the counseling. She could not have done it without the separation, nor without owning up to my part (even though I was the lesser offender). I don't know your logistical situation, but all the more reason to seek help. These things do not always have a happy ending. But it is far worse to remain than to get out.

~Eliana

[Stacy Darling]

It takes some knowledge and understanding to post here Eliana! Especially if one is a carer, we have little rest!
Stacy!

[Cheryl T]

Sounds like it's time to leave.

[Raychel]

I know how you feel, There was some physical abuse in my marriage
but there was even more mental abuse. I left that situation almost 2 years ago.

Honestly the best move I ever made in my life.

Think about what you want to make your life happy.
life is to short to go thru that crap. :hugs:

[Micki_Finn]

Is it possible, do you think, that maybe-just MAYBE-your wife wants the MAN back in her life that she married? Hmmm? I'm just sayin'.....
Jon

How, if this is even true, does it even remotely justify physical abuse?

[Crissy 107]

Micki, You are like a wise owl, very well put!

[Stephanie47]

Don't you think it's the WIFE who needs the counseling?

Spousal abuse, whether physical or verbal, is unacceptable. Yes, although it seems obvious a wife who is an abuser needs counseling, what of the husband who tolerates being abused? Do we not always advise a wife who is abused to seek counseling, establish an escape plan, etc?

I saw this with my father-in-law and his relationship to his girl friend, and, not even a girl friend in a sexual way. He constantly showed up with physical signs of being battered. He never sought to escape the relationship. Never was able to figure it out.

I can understand a wife not being on board with her husband's cross dressing and that may be a motivation to become irate "about the cross dressing," but, not to denigrate her husband as a person.

Just for information purpose, if a police officer was called to the residence for a physical disturbance, the officer is mandated by law in Washington State to arrest the physical abuser. It is NOT discretionary. It is mandatory. Your wife would have been taken to the jail and booked for physical spousal abuse.

[suzanne]

I'm not suggesting that you should ever hit her, but what would be the result if the tables were turned and you did? Would it be separation? Divorce? Criminal Charges? All of the above? Why are you not considering these options yourself?

You can't let it stand. You NEVER did anything wrong, although she'll probably imply that you're entirely the problem

[Patrica Gil]

Was in a abusive relationship for many years. She was very abusive and only got worse with the years. After we parted she wanted to be friends. Not happening. Life got instantly better without her around. Still she is very unhappy person, and took it out on me. You may just be a small part of the picture. She is responsible for her own happiness.

[ClosetED]

My wife did a poor job shaving my legs in anger a few years back and left me with a bit of bleeding. I did take pictures.She has a bad temper and more often says things she later claims she did not mean or throws things (which she apparently learned from her parents who fought all the time but did not hit each other and had police visit them).
As to a wife wanting the manse married, we are still the man they married. What about the thin, hard working, young wife I married? Don't I deserve to have her back? We change our appearance over a course of a marriage, and styles change in our various cultures. I am not sure if Stacy's wife was disabled when they married - does Stacy deserve have the non-handicapped wife back? SO that is not an acceptable argument.
Hope your photo shoot goes well tomorrow!
Hugs, Ellen

[Nigella]

This is not a crossdressing topic