Only attracted to other crossdressers?

[JennaDcd]

I'm new here but have always been curious about something. A topic that I'm sure has been beaten to death ... and then beaten some more. Then beaten again for good measure!

I've been a closet dresser my entire life. Panties, stockings, corsets, wigs, skirts, blouses, you get my point. Have only had relationships with women, and prefer it that way. I am in NO WAY attracted to guys as guys. Meaning, I might be able to look at another guy and think, "wow, that's a good looking dude." But it stops there. I've never been attracted to guys sexually. Some might say, oh come on, you're in denial and would welcome the opportunity to jump this guy or that guy's bones if given the chance. But I can honestly say I've never felt that way. Again, I can think a guy is attractive but nothing more.

However, a crossdresser that I'm attracted to? Totally different story. For as far back as I can remember I've been attracted to other crossdressers. You could put a naked guy in front of me and I'd be like, "Get out of my sight!" But you put that same guy in a pair of satin panties, stockings, corset, heels, wig, makeup, tight skirt and blouse, and I'd be all over him (sorry, her!). Not sure why that is, but it is what it is. Since childhood my strongest urges when it comes to sexuality have come from seeing satin or silk panties and lingerie, crossdressing, and lesbian sex. See the correlation? Again, I LOVE women and prefer relationships with women. But that said, I would certainly be open to exploring my sexuality with another crossdresser if the right opportunity came along.

So my question is, being new to these forums, is this common? For those with a deeper and broader understanding of who we are, what does this make me?

[Kelly DeWinter]

A human being hon, Welcome

[Robertacd]

Kelly is spot on...

You know there is no master list of " if you do this you are that, or if you do this but don't do that you are that", but many here have tried.

Frankly it all comes down to accepting yourself, once you do, the labels all become superfluous.

[Confucius]

What it makes you, is you. One thing I've learned about crossdressing if that we all seem to have our own uniqueness. Each of us fills a niche in a spectrum. You are welcome to be yourself.

[Jaylyn]

Your not the only one Jenna, I am attracted to GG and good looking CDs. I'm different I guess from you in that I don't want to "jump their bones" I just want to dress and hang with them like a friend would hang with another close friend. If I were out I would be the kind that went to the CD get togethers, would love being with a group of CDs, I visit on here with other CD's and we talk mostly guy stuff. Everything from the price of cattle, hunting and fishing, to the hobbies we have. I have always wanted to just be dressed and visit with other CDs about female things such as makeup, dressing, and maybe going out together as friends would. I probably will never do that but I do fantasize about it. I think we all are curious about things when dressed or I see another beautiful dresser as in your avatar and wonder from the male side what it would be like hanging together.

[Devi SM]

I was one of those crossdressers "bisexual". I used to love sex with men in any role but the whole adventure was completed with another gurl.
Now, I think hormones effect, I'm heterosexual, just my wife, and we enjoy a kind of lesbian sex.
My explanation is that we unconsciously relate sex and gender as one and the same thing. That's how society works, so for many crossdressers that had been hetero this new dimension of "sexuality" (wrong concept) puts them closer to other gurls. In this way they don't feel are being gay because are with other "women" our mind is very plastic and when we cross some limits is easy to cross it again or stay at the other side. If you add the forbidden excitement can be, at the end of the day, more pleasurable than "normal" sex (I'm not against it or call it abnormal but society does).
However, you can find many other crossdressers that are just tempted or dream to.do it but don't cross the line. Others just have clear, the less, that gender and sex are not the same, so finally they call themselves les ian ame if transition, some call themselves, transbian.
Mho.

[Tracii G]

You are you.
I think Kelly and Roberta summed it up nicely.

[Jean 103]

First a question, Have you ever been with a man?

The answer to your question is yes. I could explain but I would likely make someone mad.

I'm BI, was with a with my wife for like 30 years. Currently I have two boyfriends. One just a guy I met in the grocery store a couple years ago. The other a CD that I have been seeing for almost three years now. There have been other's like the boyfriend I lived with for a year and who told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, he died a few months ago. So you see I know a little about this topic.

Bottom line, it's gay sex, if you are ok with that then no problem.

For me, I have to feel that partner loves me, otherwise it just doesn't work for me. Just the way I am, As others have said everyone is different.

[LeannS]

Jean I am sorry to hear about your loss of your friend

[Tracii G]

I'm old school I have to be in love with the person first.
Just shacking up or doing one night stands just for sex seems wrong to me.
Being gay and feeling that way makes me kind of the oddball around my gay friends.

Going back to your original point maybe you are gay and just not willing to admit it to yourself so you see them as women and that makes it OK in your eyes.

[Alice Torn]

I am not attracted sexually to men, and not attracted to most women, either, unless dressed in certain styles. The same woman i would be attracted to in certain clothing, I would not be much attracted to in other styles! Sometimes, i think it is certain styles and clothing only i am attracted to! And that brings up the question, of only being attracted to a look, and not a person so much. I need to be attracted to the inner person even more, though. Sad, thing is , i have almost no friends now, unless cyber, or thousands of miles away, and i have 99% given up on ever having a GG lover or mate. Just never was in the cards, and i am 64 now. I am a bit aroused by some of the looks CDs show in their outfits, but it is the outfit, and look. In guy mode, no way. I am way too aroused by my Alice photos and videos, and what i see in the mirror! Alice seems to be my substitute for any GG, as i see no hope for any GG in my life as a SO.

[Tracii G]

At least Alice will never cheat on you .

[Michelle Vinova]

I hear ya Jenna.

CD’s that are near/passable females are attractive because you (we) are attracted to females. Nothing to worry yourself about IMHO

There’s a somewhat relevant funny quote I’ve seen about people that are anti-Trans / CD...
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them!”

[Leslie Mary S]

I will say this about other CDer they look grand but I have no desires to do anything but take their clothing (If only it would fit me). No I think it is the clothing from skin up that is turning you om,

[Beverley Sims]

oigby your description of events, what you are experiencing is normal behaviour, most of us do prefer women, we do go out in company with other CD's.

[Georgia K]

I feel the same way I'm not attracted to men at all but a hot crossdresser I am .I'm only coming to terms with the fact I might be gay

[Blair]

I understand your feelings. I'm bisexual, and am much more attracted to other cross dressers than to men. And there being emotional feelings is important to me too. And I still find women in Pantyhose or stockings more attractive then men.

[GretchenM]

I think Jean's comments add a new dimension to the other excellent comments. You are who you are. That said, some CD and TG people are attracted to other CD and TG people. Some are also attracted to GGs. Studies have shown that with transexual and transwomen if they were attracted to women before transitioning they are still attracted to women after transition. But sometimes the orientation does switch, especially if there was surgery to modify the genitals. Although some say that the attitude is that if you paid all that money for the right stuff you better use it. In my experience with transexuals it goes a lot deeper than that.

Welcome to the forum. If you do a search using the search function I think you will find that this has been discussed a lot. Perhaps doing a search will provide you with a more thorough cross-section of this subject among the members here. You will learn here that we come in a wide variety of flavors with all kinds perspectives. And that pattern is consistent with what the gender therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists have found to be true. Again, welcome to the CD/TG learning, sharing, and supporting forum.

[JulieB]

Attracted to other crossdressers, you bet! Rather it being looks or just knowing we are on the same page. Am I attracted to other men, not really! But so much desire a man to treat me like a woman 24/7. And would love to play the woman that knows what her man desires.

[Denise S]

Great question, Thinking about it, I will spend hours on the web looking at crossdressing pictures, never women. So I guess I am more Attracted to a crossdresser.

[Lydianne]

My attraction to other CDers is all about acceptance. I wouldn't date a genetic female for the same reason.


The physical attraction is present in both cases, but my brain wouldn't invest in a relationship without being sure about full acceptance and understanding. That eliminates GGs. This was a decision I made in my mid teens after I realised I couldn't defeat my TG. It was a *very* easy decision to make even at that age, but it has been a challenge to sustain. Fun was had a few years later in college, but all the young men and young women in college look for fun. When I reached the age where family life became the primary objective of dating, I shut it all down.


OK, some GGs are accepting, but then my fear would be if she grows tired of my dressing and she changes her mind - which she is perfectly entitled to do. I could not take that risk. So then you'd say: "OK, what if the woman was previously in a relationship for 20 years with a CDer and has demonstrated her invariable acceptance..."

. . OK, maybe :thinking:.

I'll give her a call just after I dig up the pot of gold from under the rainbow. We'll be rich! :we:. $$.


As for a relationship with another CDer, in my mind, total acceptance would be a given. That is very attractive to me. However, the dressing frequency and comfort levels would need to match, more-or-less. I can imagine a mismatch here could go extremely badly.

So that leads me to the times when we would both be in male mode: I can still imagine it. This is where the aforementioned brain's investment kicks in. In my mind, the partner's male mode would still be the same person whom I romance, but the focus would be on other things. Similar to, for example, Brad Pitt being a woman's dream man, but when they are grocery shopping together, even though he is still her dream man, the physical attraction at that moment would be somewhat on hold, and they would be focusing on, well, everyday life. So that's kind of how my brain processes the dual guy-mode times.


The reason I haven't started looking is because I'm very unsure about being pen'd. I've never been, and I'm very unsure. I think it would be wise to be sure beforehand. But apart from that, the appeal to me is huge.

- Lydianne.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Iam quite attracted to dressers, for sure. I feel oh so comfortable with a sweet gurl, who loves to be pretty, and really excites me, too! Oh, my dreams, should be real!

Roxanne, A girl like me . . . . oh!

[Alice Torn]

Could be right Tracii. LOL