What am I waiting for.

[Maria 60]

I was in the bedroom last night getting pretty when I took off my pants to put on a dress. I was wearing pantyhose already from underdressing from the day. My wife asked me why am I not wearing the pantyhose that I have hidden, what am I saving those for. She said I wear the cheap ones all the time and mean while I have all the expensive and my favourite ones hidden and what am I saving them for, Im not getting younger and getting into my late 50s why not enjoy my better stuff. She told me I have enough for two life times and if I was saving them for when I evolve and maybe go out dressed or if something happens between us at least I'm well stocked. I told her most of my dressing is underdressing and pantyhose get ruined much faster under pants. I couldn't really answer her why I don't wear the other stuff and she was right I feel like I'm saving it for something, but not really sure what.
At times I feel like when I was younger I could never have imagined finding a women who would except this and maybe I don't want to take it for granted. I could have never have dreamed of owning all this fem stuff. My wife just told me that maybe I should start using my nicer stuff and not to put me down or anything but because we are getting older and in the end it would be a shame to not have enjoyed them and have to throw them out.
Maybe she's right and I should wear more of my favourite things, and she's leaving me thinking that me saving this stuff is like a disorder like hourding or something like that. Am I alone here or does anyone else feel like there saving some fem stuff, for who knows what reason maybe a day when we will break free and we want our best stuff to wear and why waist it now wearing it underdressing.
She's got me thinking now.

[abbiedrake]

'Evolve' sounded harsh but I get what your wife's saying - evolution in CDing. And she's right.
I'm new to this myself and although *only* 47 I feel like a little too much life has passed me by, especially as my wife's disabilities have worsened in the last 8 years or so. Now I want to get out as a girl.
Currently that's in the future, ongoing talk with wife.
But when (not if, Abbie. Think positive) that day comes you better believe I'll bbe busting out my best gear.
Go for it, Maria.
I reckon that's what this gang will say!

[Karen RHT]

I hear you Maria, and I'm guilty of having worn the older, less favoured, cheaper items for underdressing, and saving the "better" things for when my wife wouldn't object to me stepping out. I now realize my wife will likely never accept me stepping out as Karen, so I no longer save for what's likely to never happen. Yes, I'll spend more money dressing this way, but that doesn't bother me. More importantly, I'm enjoying wearing my nicer things.


Karen

[Happygirl!]

Maria,
Sounds like you are a pantyhose hoarder :) But I can relate to your feelings. When I get a really nice pair of hose on sale, I hate to wear them right away. I imagine putting a run in them first time out. Oh the horror!
Happygirl

[Beverley Sims]

I tend to save expensive items for a rainy day that never comes. :-)

[phili]

Maria, I
Yes- what a wonderful straightforward question by your wife, and it means- she wouldn't save the good stuff and never wear it unless she had some reason not to trust the relationship. It was an INVITATION to wear the good hose and enjoy it. And if they feel better under pants, wear them out and buy new ones! Or buy looser pants, or lined pants, or whatever so you can enjoy them! That's not hoarding, that's being a responsible consumer supporting the economy!! ;0)

And if you don't want to ruin expensive hose under pants, at least change into them when you take off your pants and put on a dress or loungewear! IMHO Speaking to you so kindly was her way of saying you are safe with her- you are together in the lifeboat and sailing forward.

[Helen_Highwater]

Maria,

I went back to re-read your post and found;

She told me I have enough for two life times and if I was saving them for when I evolve and maybe go out dressed or if something happens between us at least I'm well stocked.

So okay, she's saying to you when you evolve, not if, so to me that says perhaps there's a willingness to accept that going out is something she'd not fight over. It would be okay with her.

Your SO also pointed out that non of us are getting any younger and as many have written in the past, it's too easy to find yourself at the end of days, looking back and wishing you'd been that little bit braver and taken those steps into the outside world. Perhaps your SO recognises this more than you do. As you seem to have such a good relationship, why not ask the question? Test the waters. You'll never know until you ask.

As you say, "What am I waiting for?"

[Teresa]

Maria,
You could be saving them for a rainy day but then that's not the best time !

I found it frustrating that saving the best ones to wear somewhere special was a waste of time as they still laddered as easily as cheaper ones .

[Tracii G]

Treat yourself better and wear the nicer stuff. I agree with your wife.
We aren't getting any younger and its so like a man to deprive himself and be the martyr.
I gave up on wishing I had nice things and just bought them when I had the cash and enjoyed them.
For example I wanted a certain guitar all my life and had the money just never allowed myself to have it.
One day I was out and saw one that was exactly what I wanted.
I played it and it was magical so I dropped 4k and enjoyed it everyday. The pleasure it gave me was well worth the money spent I eventually sold it and actually made money on it.
Don't deprive yourself is my point.

[Alice Torn]

Hard to say. i know that i need to get a WILL made soon, as i am having some health problems now.

[Cheryl T]

OMG I do the exact same thing.
I have my everyday pantyhose and lingerie and those "special" times items that I never seem to wear.
I have lots of stockings and pantyhose I'm saving and this makes me wonder why. I suppose I don't want to ruin them by wearing them around the house, but then I never get to enjoy them either. I suppose I'm a bit of a hypocrite as I've said something similar to my wife. Years ago I bought her some expensive earrings for our anniversary and she never wears them. She says she's afraid she will lose them and I respond that you've pretty much done that, but you lost them in the drawer by never wearing and enjoying them.

Seems I must start taking my own advice and wear all my pretty things.
I think I'll start right now...

[AllieSF]

I also agree with your wonderful wife. Wear what you have already bought until they wear out and then buy replacements. I still have way too many from my "buying too much phase" that will last me the rest of my life. Problem is that the cheap ones refuse to fall apart!

[Maid_Marion]

Yes, you only get so many "good day" to enjoy stuff! Best to do it now while you can.

[Jaymees22]

Probably should wear it while we still can. I have enough pantyhose to wear everyday for at least a year, so I think your wife is correct.
I seem to be fixated on having a lot of clothes but really don't have the time to wear them all. I enjoy shopping for them and trying them on and seeing myself in the mirror and as long as I'm having fun I think it's okay.

[Michaelasfun]

Kind of. I have some cute dresses that I don’t wear too often, I’m usually in jeans or leggings and like to save the super cute stuff for nice days. More about seasons for me than purposely saving them up, I suppose.

[Jean 103]

Maria , she is right.

Also sounds like an excuse to go somewhere nice.

I have a one basic rule. If I will not wear it, it goes. The reason could be fit or fashion, doesn't matter.

So my wardrobe is constantly changing.

[Ressie]

Yeah, I have to get rid of more clothes that I bought years ago. Most are just boring to me now, so I never wear them.

[BettyMorgan]

Maybe she's right and I should wear more of my favourite things, and she's leaving me thinking ...

She's giving you permission.
Enjoy what you have now. Don't wait, because we don't know what tomorrow will bring. I understand wearing everyday pantyhose under your pants, I do as well. But I also wear nice underwear most days so I can enjoy the experience. I don;t get the experience of feeling pretty when I just look at my clothes in the closet or dresser. It's like people who only take out their wedding china on Christmas or Easter. Often, the excuse is, I'm saving it to pass on to my _fill in the blank_. But often, they don't want your old dishes. Use the best dishes and your best lingerie all the time. Just my opinion. :battingeyelashes:

[RADER]

When my Wife was alive, I always kept 4 or 5 Pkgs. of hose around.
Any time we where to be going some place fancy, she would ask;
Do you have some extra Pantie house??
Rader

[Stephanie47]

I agree with your wife up to a point. If I were to follow my wife's example, especially when we were younger she always kept an unopened package of fine hosiery in reserve. She also had a favorite bra and panty set and lacy slip for a romantic night out. The rest of her attire wasn't chop liver either. Your wife is right about wear and tear being greater when wearing pants/jeans. However, there is a world of difference in texture and feeling between fine hosiery and cheaper brands when wearing under pants.