Halfway hiding

[Jojo2321]

My girl just found out that I dress and she loves it. So I can dress more now. But still have to keep underwraps from my four year old daughter and anybody else. Feels like I'm half out. Any advice or ways to help cope? Thanks. Much love, Jessica! 💋

[LovingThePanties]

Doesn't sound like a bad situation that should be too difficult to cope w/. Your SO is good w/ it (which is awesome) and there's not a pressing need for your young daughter to know about it, in fact her knowing would be suboptimal, so you're in a good spot. I would get some advice from your SO on makeup and clothes and get done up th the 9s like you wouldn't have been able to when you were trying to hide it from her (it sounds like she may even want to help you w/ this) if you need a pickmeup.

[Patience]

No, but you're further ahead than you were and you have a person who supports your dressing. You should be able to work something out.

[Rachelakld]

make sure she has a bedtime and dress after that.
when GF ad daughter go out for a "girls outing", go out yourself.
Once they are old enough to understand the word "secrete" let them know you like to dress.

[Beverley Sims]

You are halfway there, when the daughter is able to comprehend family secrets you will have arrived.

About another five or six years might do it.

[Macey]

Jessica, that's good news! I'll bet you can get away with a few fem items in front of your daughter like female jeans, an occasional too that's t-shirt -like and your daughter will just understand that it's normal and just you being you.

[Charlotte7]

Every step forwards is a great thing, sometimes though they have to be small steps slowly taken, but each one does take you further down the road.

[abbiedrake]

As others have said sounds like you're in a good position. You and your GF knowing this about you gives you an inside track on bringing your daughter up to accept others more fully than some parents do.
A friend of mine did so for her daughter from roughly the same age. Daughter is now 9 and has sat next to Daddy as he transforms into not-Daddy. Kid thinks it's cool, dad's over the moon, wife's relieved. Dad's even done a makeover for his daughter.
Here's hoping you can enjoy the same.

[alwayshave]

If you can be yourself with your SO, that is the biggest battle.

[LovingThePanties]

As said, I think it's great that your SO is ok w/ your dressing, but I'm going to postulate what seems to an unpopular opinion here - there is no reason to let your daughter in on it. Frankly, your daughter doesn't stand to gain anything from it. Her life is not diminished because she doesn't know that you enjoy wearing panties, dresses, and makeup. On the other hand, it can be highly confusing for a child to be find out that daddy dresses like mommy. I'm not personally, but if you were to ask ppl who had gender confusion as a child, I'll bet that every one of them will tell you that it wasn't fun. That being the case, it seems like a bad idea to proactively plant a potential seed for your daughter to have it. The downside for you is that you can't fully dress all of the time around the house (you can certainly always at least wear panties, though), which seems like an acceptable concession to make.

[michelle.foster]

My advise to you is that you not discuss this with your girl if your 4 years old is anywhere on the planet. As I'm sure anyone who has one or has had one can attest to. If you discuss it, they will hear it, now matter where they are on the planet and they will repeat it at the most inopportune time.
Just saying. Good luck.
Elsie

[char GG]

I would also caution telling your little girl if you would like to keep anything a secret. My previous neighbor was a FtM transman with 5 year old twin girls. The twins told the neighbors that their dad used to be their mom.

[t-girlxsophie]

When my wife and I were dating we left it a while before introducing Sophie to her twin boys.We wanted them to get to know their mums new boy friend before springing that on them.but when the time came they were absolutely fine with it.The difference in my situation was they were 12yo when that happened so they were able to deal better with it. I hope you can come to the right soulution when/if you tell your little girl

Sophie

[L0vleyme]

I will second this. My brother was in town for the holiday. My 3 year old daughter offered up without any prompting, "my dad used to have boobs. That's why I see him wear bras". A few awkward minutes quickly followed.

[docrobbysherry]

If you're not out? Every time u tell someone u r burdening them with keeping your secret!:brolleyes::straightface:

Would u want that for your child!?

[abbiedrake]

I think at the right age the kid has enough sense to know they're being trusted with something. More like a privilege than a burden.