Where does MONEY fit into your CDing picture?

[Wildaboutheels]

Money as in not how much money you can devote to your presentation, but your JOB.

You dare not ever leave the safety of your house, because of fear of losing your source of income/being fired if discovered out in the RW "dressed"?

Chances are good that friends, relatives and coworkers finding out are also part of the money question?

Bonus question (mostly) for the many retired folks here. Did you wait until you retired to escape your closet or was that at least your plan? Has being retired turned out to be all that you expected as far as your CDing?

[Tracii G]

I dressed when I was working and never gave it any thought because CDing isn't against the law and if were fired because of CDing I would take it to court.
No company would fire you over a hobby you do at home.
I never cared if anyone "found out".
Retirement is awesome I am finally free to enjoy life and not have to deal with massive amounts of stress.

[Robertacd]

I am not at all worried about losing my job if I came out or if anyone found out, I am more worried about losing life long relationships with friends and family.

[Majella St Gerard]

As Tracii said it's not against the law, no worries here but I'm not in hiding.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Yes, I was concerned about losing my job over dressing. I worked in a very testosterone charged environment.

I admit that as I got older and ventured out into the world more I was concerned less and less about this.

I remember when my XO came into my office upset about a crossdresser in the crew! He'd found some briefs in the laundry that looked like woman's panties. I had to work to keep from laughing in his face as I sat there "underdressed" in panties and hose. I managed to calm him down and put the issue to rest without upsetting anyone. I didn't dare bring up my ballet lessons and those were in "male mode".

Now that I'm retired I care less about people finding out but it still concerns my wife and that matters to me. Also, we're still working out where Linda fits into retirement. It's a constant give and take.

On the plus side we're going away for a few days and one of those days is dedicated to "Linda Shopping"! I'll be in drab mode but looking through the racks for a wardrobe update.

[Stephanie47]

Some of my first forays outside the home was taking drives and strolls in the late evening. That was way before this site was around. The endless compulsion to "Just do It" was overwhelming. Yes, there was an element of peril involved. I did have a meet and greet sort of job. It was always in the back of my mind there was a possibility of ending up in the emergency room after a car accident with our local newspaper blaring a bold headline; "Crossdresser injured in car accident wearing dress and heels." Why? A long time ago in my neighborhood a cross dresser did commit suicide by burning his house down around him. I still remember his name. When the first department arrived he held them at bay by shooting out the door while he sat in his recliner. The news article described with some morbidity his charred remains were found in the chair and he was wearing strap on heels. Talk about a hell of a way to go. This was back circa 1979. No way did I want to titillate the local media. Maybe some sense was knocked into me or I had my desires fulfilled.

As a retiree I still keep my desires within the home when my wife is at work. When she goes out of state I do go for evening drives and strolls. I am not fearful of being discovered. However, I realize my cross dressing is a shared secret with my wife, and, any negativity coming from it would also be shared.

Right now I have been retired more more than ten years. My wife still works maybe one or two full days per week which gives me time to be en femme. When she does finally fully retire that will have a serious impact on my ability to be en femme.

[Macey]

Y'know, I think that if I pressed it, I wouldn't lose my job if I wanted to show up 'en femme'. But, it would be an awkward adjustment for all concerned and they don't pay me to be a distraction and make work awkward for myself and others.

[Joan58]

As I am self employed no worry about the boss finding out. He all ready knows. I dress as I please everyday, and have very few "male" items left in my wardrobe.

[ToniG]

As a retired Senior--don't have job issues. Having my own place (not shared) for a number of yrs now has provided for "unrestricted Dressing" at any time. But-- with "fixed-income" spending IS an issue!! Have to be careful to keep the Pink Fog under control!!!! :) When I was still working---wore panties on occasion- but that was it. Toni G..

[Tracii G]

Linda I worked in the trucking industry for 40+ years and talk about testosterone filled environment !!!!
I never really cared and dropped enough hints about being gay but never had any problems.
Did they think I was kidding I don't know?
I am still friends with a lot of the guys I worked with.

[Lea]

I never went out when I working except for Halloween with my wife. I worked in a small town and my employer had an employment clause that you could be let go for anything that they determined may bring negative attention upon them. The closer I got to retirement the more nervous I became.

After I retired I still do not go out as I promised the wife I would not. She does not have issues with it if we would go far away from our town. I am dressing a lot more. In the summer she spends three months out of state with with her family. She gets away from the heat and humidity. I stay back and visit my mom three days a week at her facility. Except for visiting her, doing my errands and mowing I stay inside and dressed. I don't like the constant heat we have in the summers so staying inside a lot does not bother me.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I'd lose my income in a heart beat. I've always been in commission based sales, and as a rule the public and my industry is very judgemental. As a rule a lot of people will tell you "I'm supportive" then when it comes time to 'be' supportive they are no where to be seen. It's something I have to live with.

[Maid_Marion]

Quite a bit, as I realized I've saved enough for early retirement and don't have to worry about finding another job. And I have perfectly viable "plan B."

[beckypanties]

The fear is real. Although it is illegal to fire someone for crossdressing, "at-will" employment contracts in the US mean that you could coincidentally find your position eliminated.

[Joyce Swindell]

I could dress however I cared to as I own and operate my own business. However, the problem is I operate in "my" territory and I deal with the same customers every week. Most are mechanics ...some more macho than others. That being said, YES it's a money concern for me if I were to share Joyce with my customer base. Now it would be interesting to see the reactions if I did start sharing this part of me. Maybe after all of the start up debt gets paid it would be fun to see ...only one way to find out!

- - - Updated - - -

Now when I do retire I will most certainly dress however and whenever I can get away with it with my wife and she is very reasonable and accepting.

[franlee]

Y'know, I think that if I pressed it, I wouldn't lose my job if I wanted to show up 'en femme'. But, it would be an awkward adjustment for all concerned and they don't pay me to be a distraction and make work awkward for myself and others.

I think you display the proper response for any good employee. Responsible and respectful of your work environment and fellow workers. We as adults should realize the world doesn't revolve around us and our personal needs when it comes to earning a living and producing for our employer. If you are elf employed and can afford to confront the norms of the business world by being different well have at it. But when working for another it is at his expenses that you present and perform.

[Alice Torn]

I am pretty much retired, on a low income, and live now in a senior apartment place, where i would never want to be outed. When i held a job, and also was self employed, i found myself wanting to dress far more, than now, that i have time to myself. I have other issues mental and emotional, and family of origin issues, and spiritual issues, too. My desire to dress has waned a lot, and when i was near suicide 15 months ago, i purged 99%. I was trying to meet admirers, too, but stopped it. I need to get a will made soon, as i have had close calls on the roads, and chest pains a lot. I am trying to be a better man, and still dress occasionally, but do not go out anymore. I know i am closer to my final day, than my first, and also realize very difficult times are coming for all peoples.

[Helen_Highwater]

As a retired person who's in the closet, for me it's turned out as well if not better than I expected. The first couple of years my SO still worked so I was "home alone" and able to dress frequently. When she retired I feared the worst that my ability to dress would evaporate. This has turned out not to be the case. True I can't dress as much but still often enough to meet my needs.

As for money, thankfully we have sufficient income such that, while I can't buy everything that takes my fancy, I'm still able to keep my wardrobe sufficiently updated.

[RADER]

Well I am Retired, have a great Pension and SS, with a few investments from my IRA, I m OK
Not rich, But as long as I behave my self, I am OK.
I live alone now, house paid off years ago, so I just dress at home as often as I can.
Rader

[Asew]

Work is the only place where I 100% dress in skirts. Usually a skirt and work appropriate heels with a company t-shirt or button up shirt. My work prides itself in inclusive and have had no issues.

[Rayleen]

when you are retired, living with one low income money play a big role in CD. Unless you team up with a group, in house activities are the norm. So I would say $$ plays a big role for sure.

[Judy-Somthing]

I wonder sometime how co-workers would feel about me if they knew about me as miss-Judy?
I have a really great job right now, A dream job.
I think if they found out I'd be OK due to they hired a TRANS six months ago.
I feel compelled to come out to her but, I hear that TRANS don't necessarily relate to CD'ers.
Well anyhow the company hired him/her so I would hope they except me if found out.

[Ceera]

I am retired. I started public cross dressing three years before I retired. It wasn’t a worry for me, because I worked as a very high end systems analyst, and I telecommuted full time. None of my coworkers even lived in the same city! And even if people at work did find out, my employer had very progressive LGBTQ protection policies. Had I worked there for a few more years, I could have openly done a full transition. I ended up retiring early, laid off solely for the reason of a massive reduction in force that eliminated a lot of senior people, regardless of job performance or criticality to the team’s services.

Not money related, but I did wait until after both of my parents plus my wife passed away. Had I not been concerned about their reactions, I might well have transitioned years earlier.

4+ years after my first public outing en-femme, I am now four months into HRT, and on track for full transition.

[Misty_cder]

At my previous employer, if I dressed, I would have been terminated. While management claimed to be progressive, they weren’t. The two openly gay men that worked there quickly hit the glass ceiling. At least I could underdressing with no issues. My current employer is much different. I think if I wanted to dress more feminine, I could as long as I didn’t have to meet with any clients. I’ve worn my Aerosole dress shoes and boots many times with no comments. I know a few of the ladies have seen the trademark diamond pattern on the bottom of the shoes. I haven’t taken it to the level of outwardly wearing clothing, and don’t know if I will any time soon. I’ve thought of getting a pair of women’s dress slacks that have a bit of a men’s look to then to wear, maybe even match it to a nice blouse.

[Teresa]

Wild....,
No real plan for me it just evolved . OK being a self employed photographer and still being married I only dressed for the hours I spent in my colour darkroom or when the house was empty , coming out in those days was possibly a none starter , without doubt it would have affected my business .

Retirement does make it a whole lot easier but the disavantage is we have missed the years of youth and must now accept certain age limitations .
The problem is retirment gives you the time to think and decide where your life is going , my CDing freedom has cost me my marriage but I have to admit I'm a whole lot happier , becoming Teresa just had to happen and it is better than I expected .



I'm sure within a few short years this type of question will be unnecessary .

[susan54]

With me money is not the issue. I work for a very open-minded organisation. I could turn up dressed if I wanted. The issue is that I have had significant achievements in my life that I am very proud of and it is these I want to be remembered for not as the guy in the dress. Plus we work in situations involving difficult negotiations and we are good at this. If you outwit the opposition and they are not nice people they might speculate on the nature of your underwear to retaliate and I owe it to my colleagues not to open this gateway.

[Ressie]

I'm self employed and being a CD wouldn't be a good image with most of my clients.

[CarlaWestin]

After a complimentary meeting in HR I would be able to be Carla at work. The girls at work look cute in the service provided uniforms.
That's really not on my agenda at all. My career has evolved nicely over all these years because I excelled in a predominantly male environment.
And the skillset keeps my career stress free as I final approach the retirement runway.

[Stacy Darling]

I retired December 18 2008, 10 years back!
Aged 39 I had no plan other than the knowledge of who I am!

Sure I'm able to pull money out of my ass, yet don't!

We don't need money to present a beautiful soul!
Stacy!

[sometimes_miss]

It's not so much about getting fired, as much as it is the stuff that happens in the background to you which you'll probably never know is related to people not liking CD/TG/TS people. When it's time for layoffs, they will find a way to get rid of you if they don't like you. I've seen people get promoted and then have their position eliminated just to get rid of them.
In addition, there are other things that can happen to you just because you do something that offends some moron's idea of what his world should look like.
It's not all about money, but it does have an impact when it does.
That said, I've been in the closet forever. I grew up being tormented for being different when I was a child, and have no desire to go through that again as an adult.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't jepoardise my work commitments by showing what others would think an abnormality, but I do dress very regularly away from the work environment.

I would not want to lose my income through dressing.

[Lacy PJs]

As many others have stated here, being totally open about one's dressing could very well put you on thin ice. And don't think that you would have legal protection. There are hundreds of other ways that you can be removed that are not related to your personal life. A lot of this could depend on where you were as well. What flies high in a progressive big city would very likely crash & burn in small town Bible belt country.

In the end, I think it's a wise choice to be mindful and respectful of your employer, the clientele you may deal with and the workplace environment. If any of those would be thrown out of balance by your lifestyle choice then it's probably better left at home.

When I was looking for a job, I met with a sob search group. There was one gentleman there who one day boldly declared that "I ain't cuttin' my hair for nobody." He was obviously entitled to make that choice but if his appearance turned off a prospective employer... that's what happens when you roll the dice.

Lacy PJs

[Micki_Finn]

I live in a state that considers gender identity a protected class so no fear of losing a job.

[MonicaPVD]

Susan54 "The issue is that I have had significant achievements in my life that I am very proud of and it is these I want to be remembered for not as the guy in the dress." THANK YOU! I find that society has become very accepting of the young or celebrity trans experience, but any middle aged average person certainly risks flushing her career and personal accomplishments doen the drain to become the guy in the dress. I'm sad that I cant be who I really am but I have built a great life and career, and I'm not willing to pay the huge price involved.

[t-girlxsophie]

Ive not gave a second thought to my CDing leading to me losing my job.The company I work for (ASDA) has an excellent record with diversity and inclusion.Obviously as a crossdresser I wouldnt imagine coming in for a shift an femme would fly.But if I was to transition,there wouldn't be an issue,indeed in my store there is a young trans man works for us.

Have another 20 years of work in front of me (groan) but afterwards I'll still dress as my wife is supportive

Sophie

[Alice B]

I am retired. Three times, so money is not and never has been an issue. I can afford whatever I want, but spend little theses day on Alice. That may change soon as it is time for a major upgrade

[Jaymees22]

I didn't start dressing until I retired. I hadn't given it any thought until I retired and had time on my hands as my wife was still working. Now that my wife has retired I dress less but seem to enjoy it more.
One of my co-workers before I retired transitioned and kept her job so if I had wanted to come out it would have been okay.