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marciegirl777
03-21-2006, 01:04 PM
I've taken the gender ID test and the results say that I am androgynous. Okay, probably pretty close the truth, but that just makes deciding what I am even more perplexing. Given my choice I would want SRS tomorrow - even before any degree of transitioning. I feel compelled to look "correct" down there. Everytime I see a picture of woman in panties or a swimsuit, the first thing that pops into my mind is "That's what I am supposed to look like down there". I actually obsess about it daily probably since I was about six. I can't even think of dressing unless "that thing" is tucked out of sight first.

That said, my sexual orientation is almost completely towards women. You might say that I am a lesbian trapped in a male body, but that would be putting it too simply. The male hormones compete heavily with my feminine side and often the burning desire to fulfill the male drive is overwhelming and powerful. yet I when I masturbate, I HAVE to do it girl style - tucked back while still flacid so I can gently rub my "Vulva" while I'm in panties or a swimsuit. Over the years, I've mastered this performance of mind and body which literally makes me feel as if I've achieved the closest thing to a girlhood nirvana that I can ever know.

So, the confusion of androgeny pulls me daily across the ying and yang. I want so badly to have a female body so I can wear all those cute swimsuits, dresses and heels that beckon me daily. However, the male sex drive tells me to keep things intact so it can fulfill its sexual destiny - afterall, it is what it is. The result is that I keep telling myself that "thing" is a curse, a deformity that keeps me from feeling "correct" and away from my self image as a woman. Somedays, I think that if I really started on hormones, the male "urges" would just go away and I can finally say adieu to my incorrect genitals and be at peace with myself. Other days, the male side says you are what you are, accept your lot in life and go lust after women.

Meanwhile, my wife tolerates my dressing in the closet, but any transitioning would be grounds for divorce so it is not a realistic option - at least while my son is growing up. I just wish I knew what I really am and should be, the daily battle for my sexual identity is annoying at best, and crippling at worst. The vacillation back and forth is at times torturous. I think there are other girls here on the forum that fall pretty much into the same "limbo" space that I am in. I welcome your advice and stories.

Love,

Marcie

Casey Morgan
03-21-2006, 03:32 PM
Marcie, I know where you're coming from. Except I feel the desire to present as male as strongly the desire to present as female. So what am I? Right now the only answer I have that I'm sure of is: human.

I feel that "androgynous" is a good description of me, too. Heck, I don't really know what that means beyond the dictionary definition. I'm still learning about it. So I've decided to just pull back a bit and not worry so much about "what" I am as "who" I am. Because as long as I'm still confused I don't really have a good handle on who I am. And maybe, just maybe, once I know who I am it won't really matter what "they" call me.

Isn't that what we're really talking about here? What do "they" say I am, so I will feel comfortable giving myself that label, too?

I'm coming to believe that gender is not binary, either "male" (shoom) or "female" (shoom). To alter that famous quote slightly, tell me where is gender bred? In the heart or in the head? I don't know. But it's a fun ride trying to find out, and trying to find out who I am. And the brass ring at the end of the journey is: me.

Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride.

CaptLex
03-22-2006, 11:17 AM
So, the confusion of androgeny pulls me daily across the ying and yang. I want so badly to have a female body so I can wear all those cute swimsuits, dresses and heels that beckon me daily. However, the male sex drive tells me to keep things intact so it can fulfill its sexual destiny - afterall, it is what it is. The result is that I keep telling myself that "thing" is a curse, a deformity that keeps me from feeling "correct" and away from my self image as a woman. Somedays, I think that if I really started on hormones, the male "urges" would just go away and I can finally say adieu to my incorrect genitals and be at peace with myself. Other days, the male side says you are what you are, accept your lot in life and go lust after women.

Meanwhile, my wife tolerates my dressing in the closet, but any transitioning would be grounds for divorce so it is not a realistic option - at least while my son is growing up. I just wish I knew what I really am and should be, the daily battle for my sexual identity is annoying at best, and crippling at worst. The vacillation back and forth is at times torturous. I think there are other girls here on the forum that fall pretty much into the same "limbo" space that I am in. I welcome your advice and stories.

Marcie:

I can relate to everything you say - except I'm on the other side of that coin. I have a female body and I identify mostly with being male, but there is still a female side to me. Every day I find myself between both sides, but sometimes I feel that I'm being pulled more in one direction or the other. I'm considering transitioning, but I don't know if that would resolve my conflict or make things worse. I'm seeing a therapist and he's very helpful, but I don't find myself any closer to an answer yet. So for now I have to say I'm androgynous and maybe that will be the ultimate answer, but most days I wake up look in the mirror and wish I saw only Lex there. The quest continues. Good luck in yours. :)

P.S. That male libido is a powerful factor too, I know. ;)

Star
03-22-2006, 04:34 PM
I am just like you that way. I have to tuck it away to dress first thing, I prefer to do "it" just like you as well. I like women, not men . One word you used is "Obsess" on it. I believe it is an obsession that I can't get over. It is very strong and overpowering. The reality is however that I am not going to ever be that beautiful girl in the swimsuit. It is a very powerful fantasy that I am acting out because the yearning to be that girl is real.
Accept your life and enjoy this when you can. Dont let it ruin your life. If becomig a woman is truly what you want make sure you understand who that woman is going to be.

Jacqui
03-22-2006, 11:13 PM
I just wish I knew what I really am and should be, the daily battle for my sexual identity is annoying at best, and crippling at worst. The vacillation back and forth is at times torturous.

Marcie, although I don't object to "labels" as some others do in this forum, I don't think you should obsess over what you really are or should be.

In my opinion, you have to think about what you're going to do about how you feel rather than label yourself.

As I see it, you have two choices:
1) enjoy the fantasy whenever you can (as I do, knowing that it would probably destroy life as we know it if we did anything else);

2) see a therapist and start the process. You won't be able to get SRS or proper hormone treatment without doing this first and you might discover that you actually don't want to go any further.

You have to make a chart (real or imaginary) with plusses and minuses. People in this forum can help, but ultimately, only you can decide.

Wish you the best of whatever it is.

Jacqui

marciegirl777
03-23-2006, 01:06 PM
Captlex:

Too bad we humans weren't designed with modular components. I think you and I would have a very good trade indeed!

-Marcie