Starting a New Life

[Jill Mansfield]

My wife of many years announced to me the day after Thanksgiving that she was no longer in love with me and wants a divorce. I was devastated at first and thought my life had ended. As the weeks have past and I have had the time to look at all of the pros and cons and I am actually excited in a strange way. I have been lucky in the fact that I am able to purchase my family home for a great price and now I will be living alone.
I will be able to dress freely and explore my feminine side with out restrictions. Maybe I am in a pink fog but the realization of this has felt like a great weight has been lifted from me. I am wondering i anybody else has been through a similar situation and what the outcome was. please any feedback will be greatly appreciated,Thank You.


Jill

[Tracii G]

Oh yeah been there and done that and let me tell you its the best thing that ever happened to me.
Being single is fantastic.
It set me free to explore and to figure out who I really was.

[Jill Mansfield]

Thank You Tracii .
Your positive reply reinforces the belief that this is a blessing and a chance to live as i have often dreamed of.

[Maid_Marion]

Yes, my wife passed a few years ago. It is good I didn't jump back into a relationship. I busy learning about myself too!

[Jill Mansfield]

I am sorry to hear about your wife Hun.
I think I will be single for awhile myself and by the way You look Awesome Girl

[docrobbysherry]

I began dressing after we separated. Knew when I had the kids and knew when I had the house to myself! In less than a year, Sherry was born!:battingeyelashes:

Was great for me, my ex, and our kids, too!:thumbsup:

[Tina June]

Jill -
Keep up the positive attitude! They say that when one door closes another opens. This may not be a universal truth... but, it sounds good!
We are all here to support you!

Tina

[IleneD]

Jill,

Was your marriage blessed with any children? and is there an angry battle to settle that issue?
And.... was your dressing the prime reason for the divorce? or were there other reasons? There often are,=; communications among them. Sharing that may give us greater context.

You look great in your profile/ avatar pic. You may be a natural for this transition.
Life send us messages in strange forms and languages. If you have a clean split (no kids, family concerns, etc. ) , this may indeed be the omen of a great life change.
Good luck.

[Jaylyn]

It's always sad when a divorce happens but what happens next in life after one is up to each individual. I'm wishing you a better life and situation to peruse your interests take everything one step at a time and learn from all the old mistakes both sides made.

[Tracii G]

Some people don't feel whole unless they are in a relationship and I feel sad for those people always needing someone else to complete them.
I am more than fine being single I go where ever whenever I want and have to answer to no one.
I doub't I could ever live with some one again.

[Aunt Kelly]

Jill,
Your story is all too common amongst those of this community, and yet it pains us anew each time that it is repeated. I offer you my personal condolences for that which you have lost. I have been through it, and know some of what you are feeling.
I know also that the advice others have offered is wise. As you move forward, be kind to yourself and try to be positive as you move into your new life. You control what that life will be. I pray that you will find it as full and rewarding as we all hope it will be.

Hugs,

Kelly

[Beverley Sims]

I know I am throwing cold wter on this thread, I immediately think about how you deal with the rest of the family and are you going to e lonely after the dust settles.

I agree with all the positives here and separation is the most likely outcome.

Consider everything carefully and suppress the pink fog until it is all settled.

[Rachael Leigh]

Jill,this past year yes I went through a divorce after 35 years. Now you don’t say how long you were married. Now while yes
it has freed me from the restrictions I may have felt when married I think about it a lot what I’ve lost.
Now yes I did accept the fact I’m trans non binary but I lost my best friend so it may not always turn out like you hope

[Diane Taylor]

Divorce is NOT the end of the world. If you have to live a stifled life what good is marriage. I divorced my ex after 32 years and it had nothing to do with crossdressing. As soon as we separated and the proceedings were initiated I was a much happier person. Too many in this community stay married for whatever reason and they remain miserable. Good luck to you in your new found freedom.

[Tracii G]

If life is lousy together why on earth stay together?
If she said she was leaving well then let her go why try to force the person to stay because its obvious she doesn't love you or respect you.
I think some are to used to having someone to do things for them like cooking and laundry for example.

[paulaprimo]

Jill, i went through a similar situation. It was sad at first but turned out to be the
best thing that ever happened to me. And i stress the ''me'' part. I was lucky in the
sense we never had children. Living alone I now have the freedom to dress whenever i want
and that is such a great feeling. Being able to hang my clothes in closets or folded in dresser
drawers and my heels stored on shoe racks makes for a very femme home.
It feels great to not have to hide my ''stash'' or sneak around. I also no longer worry if
there is mascara or nail polish residue left behind. For me it works and I couldn't be happier.
I hope things work out for you and maybe in time you will feel as happy as I do!
Wishing you the very best and good luck!! :)

[Macey]

My first marriage ended with a real clean break, no kids, no money, no desire from either of us for future contact. Spent nearly a decade single and loved it! My wife (second marriage for both of us) is the love of my life.

Sometimes we get married to the wrong person, or at the wring time, or the right person, right time, but for whatever reason the two of you don't grow through life's changes together.

With any divorce, I can only say "I'm sorry!" and "Congratulations!" Some measure of both apply. Since you say it has only been weeks, there is still a bit of a roller coaster ahead, but it sounds like you are going to shake out just fine!

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Divorded, and thinking, if I ever marry again, or just settle into a relationship, I am going to look for soemeone who likes Roxanne. I want to have the best possible relationship for the BOTH of us! Including sharing everything!
Oh, to be a really happy Roxanne!

Roxanne Lanyon

"Her Soul Lives Forever"

[Jill Mansfield]

First off all I want to thank everyone for their comments and support.
My wife and I have 4 adult children and 7 awesome grand children. There are no issues where they are concerned.
Dressing has nothing to do with the problems in our marriage. We seem to have grown in different directions .
We have a beautiful home that we built from the ground up and I have worked hard and given my soul to this relationship and taken care of my family and given them all I have been able to. I still love my wife and it does break my heart everyday if I let it .
I am also able to do all the domestic chores because we have shared those through out our marriage.
I am sorry for rambling on here, But the bottom line is My wife wants her freedom. I am not sure what she is looking for or if there is someone else and if so I am willing to let her go so she can be happy.We have arrived at a fair distribution of our assets and I will let her keep the home our family has known as their own.
This isn't my choice by far but it is the reality of the situation, so I am looking to the future and trying to be positive and am going to see what happens one day at a time. I don't drink or use drugs and dressing has always been a great stress relief and a part of who I am. With that said I am embracing the chance to explore this side of me.

Again Thank You everyone and I am sorry for my long winded all over the place babble LOL.

[Sherrii]

I had that happen in a similar way quite a while ago. I was devastated at the time but when I realized it was going to happen for sure I accepted it, got the best deal I could (which wasn't bad) and moved on. It may be hard for some folks to just put it behind and move on making the best of a new situation/opportunity but it isn't worth "morning" for months or years. It sounds like you are handling it well, good luck with your new life. Sherrii

[alwayshave]

Jill, I'm glad that you have had a positive outcome to your marriage ending. When I ended my marriage, my ex-wife made it clear that I would never see my children again, who were in their mid to late teens at the time. I have not seen them in years. It hurts everyday. She is the most manipulative person I have ever met. She did not love me but was so mad she could no longer manipulate me.

[jamienoir]

Sorry to hear that. I'm splitting from my wife too. In the process of looking for an apartment right now. I'll never seriously date (or date at all) again. Most of my time will be spent getting out of debt (and oil painting).

[carhill2mn]

My situation was similar. My wife announced one day that she wanted a divorce. We had been married almost 44 years. I was somewhat surprised. We had had our ups and downs and I had wondered what it would be like to be single but I had never pursued it. Divorce is hard on everyone. I, too, tried to convince my wife that divorce was not a good thing and it is expensive.

However, since my divorce I am much happier. There are no more fights about my crossdressing. I present as a woman at least 90 % of the time. There are no more concerns about where or how much my wife was spending money. I am much more in control of what I want to do and when. Fortunately, I enjoy my own company.

[ClosetED]

Welcome back to the Forum. My wife has asked for divorce several times, even had me sign the submission papers, but she tore them up. You are now free to learn who you are. Hopefully you can make a few good friends here.
Hugs, Ellen

[missjoann49]

It really doesn't matter what others think, as long as you are happy with the situation that all that counts. Go and find out who you are and discover the new you and be happy about it. Best wishes for a new beginning

[Alice B]

I am in my 4th marriage. We have been together for almost 29 years and have a great relationship and my dressing is totally accepted. My other three were 11, 5 and 6 years each and I was not a dressers, so it was not a factor. Sometimes it take a while to fully grow up and find out who you really are. I am very happy and now you can find out who you really are. Enjoy the journey, where ever it takes you.

[Teresa]

Jill,
It might be easier to PM me as I've just gone through all this and now dress full time in my new home town .

Im have children and grandchildren , my daughter id fully on board but my son isn't so I have problems at times .

Dressing as you please is harder than you think , pink fog can't be allowed to take over as there are so many loose ends to tie up , I still have to deal with a divorce as I'm only separated at the moment .

My problem was I couldn't live without my dressing needs and my wife couldn't live with them , it was a mutual agreement but now my wife is realising what she has lost but for me there is no going back . I do believe we had drifted apart .

I wish you all the best , life does have a silver lining I hope you find it .

Carole ,
We share a similar story , I have been married 44 years and already feel much happier living as Teresa .

[angelasocal]

I love what you wrote. It's what I need to hear. I don't care what others think.It
sane life and I couldn't be happier.

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Great post Miss Joann49

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Jill...I had a similar situation. Went through divorce...now living alone. When you get over the post-divorce sadness you will enjoy the amazing freedom and sensuality of exploring your feminine side whenever you feel like it. Especially at night when you can go to bed in bra and panties or a sexy slip.

[CarolBrown]

Since I lost my wife, I have stepped more into a my feminine lifestyle, I’ve been out on numerous occasions, come out to most of my family and enjoyed being Carol.

As soon as I am certain I’m not living in the Pink Mist, I will start along the transition route...

[Bobbi46]

Jill sorry, I have just come across your thread you parting mirrors mine almost to a tee, hard when it happens but when the initial grief has passed and life hets back on track you will be fine.
I have sent you a PM with greater detail.
Good luck

[Jodi]

Jill, make sure you have a good lawyer. Been there and done that.

Jodi

[Maid_Marion]

Thanks Jill. I thought I'd grow out my hair while I still can! It is now below my shoulders. It is naturally wavy and thick enough dry quickly. :)