Is your spouse comfortable watching the entire transformation process?

[DanielleDubois]

Obviously this is a question for those of you with a supportive or accepting spouse. I have heard the suggestion if your spouse observes the complete transformation from male to female it can make it easier for her to see it is still her husband underneath all of the makeup, clothing, etc. In my case my accepting spouse has decided she is uncomfortable seeing Danielle because I look so much different than my male self... which I guess I should actually take as a bit of an unintended compliment.

Is your spouse comfortable with the entire transformation or are there certain aspects she would care not to see such as the attachment of breast forms or the tucking process?

Again in my personal experience I made the huge mistake once of opening a dressing gown and revealing a smooth all over naked Danielle with glued on breast forms and a quite convincing tuck. My wife's negative reaction to seeing her husband looking very female left no doubt she would not be interested in seeing how I achieved those results.

As usual I anticipate this will not be a simple yes or no but a wide range of responses as to how much your spouse is comfortable observing or participating in your male to female transformation.

Happy New Year
Danielle

[Kelly DeWinter]

Jeanie has seen "the process' many times. She is also helpful with suggestions . We have discussed things at length. Her best comment was "you did not have the opportunity women have had of practicing your 'look' as a teenager, and getting helpful hints from your friends as you grow older" She's right, I guess its the same with clothing.

She's also gone with me for a few times to makeover and photo sessions. So shes seen it from the top to bottom.

[rachel_rachel]

My wife hasn’t been comfortable in the past so I don’t push the issue. I have eased into it a little bit more of late, dressing she’s been ok.. full make up however, slowly, slowly.

[Laura28]

My wife is support have no issue with me hairless even likes I have a full B man boobs. Like to see me in heals thi highs bra panties even lipstick. Has no problem if I wear my bra with my Ds forms around the house with a shirt on. Love to see my pics all transformed but doesn’t want to see me with full make up wig dressed all fem. she will even call me Laura but seeing the full on Laura she isn’t ready. Funny we have been together for 44 years and she has known from the bridging. You would think she would be curious to me Laura?? She says maybe someday. I don’t think it will ever happen but always hopefull

[Ronnie38]

My wife has things she is still uncomfortable with but we talk about everything so we both know rules and boundaries. Some days though she has that " look" so i get more self conscience. Seems you already know how to read your wife but comunication is key to knowing her feelings and setting boundaries. As you explore, talk about it. I know with my wife that if she knows something is going to happen or change before hand she is usually more accepting or at least more willing to explain what it is that she is uncomfortable with. It allows me to have my freedom and still set bounaries that she is comfortable with.

[alwayshave]

My wife has no problem watching the transformation process. I think I may have more issues with it than she does.

[Chelsea B]

My wife is accepting, and has seen me dressed many times, but we have never talked about what I have on underneath, including my forms. It feels like an unspoken rule not to go there.
She has seen my wardrobe, so she can assume what I wear underneath, and I think that’s as far as she wants to go.

[Robin777]

I have married 39 yrs and told my wife about my dressing before we were married. At first she was a little shocked about it, but over the years has gotten very comfortable with it.She is very supporting. We go shopping together at thrift stores and department stores. She helps pick out clothing she would like to see me in as I help pick out clothing for her. She has been dieting and has dropped a few sizes so that has been a frequent thing. I think it would shock her if I ever told her I was going to quit dressing. She realize it puts me in a better mood.

[susie evans]

Hi girls ,
My wife has seen the process many times from start to finish and has no issues with it , we go out shopping , dinner or any thing else that 2 good close friends would do

Enjoy Susie , life is to short to worry about things we cannot controll

[AngelaYVR]

Lol, whenever my wife watches it turns her on. She doesn’t like to admit it though. Still, on those days it takes me longer to get out of the house!

[Danielle_cder]

My wife has experienced the whole process, actually asked to see how “I” come about, apparently once was enough. She does not like seeing me with wig and make up it is just too much. She doesn’t mind seeing me with breasts I wear dd’s to bed most nights and the nights I don’t she’ll ask no boobs? I think she actually likes me with breast although she has never said it directly. I think it’s kind of a give away when she scoots over and cops a feel ;) Even with hips she doesn’t flinch, I can pretty much dress neck down and she is fine with it. Now that being said, since we have Kids I don’t do it just forms to bed.

[Connie D50]

My wife (41 years) is funny in that she's supportive, has even gone out with me to many place. However I think the biggest problem she has with my dressing is the amount of effort it takes for the transformation. So I now try very hard to start or do the process when she is busy with something else.

[Teresa]

Danielle,
I tried this ploy on my wife , asking at what point would she want me to stop , her simple answer was , " Never going to happen !"

The more I dress the less the whole exercise takes to complete , on one occasion I had 40 minutes from arriving home in drab to walking out fully dressed and made up for an appointment at my optician .

Even now I'm separated my wife is far from happy , I still feel the best way for her to move on is to actually see me just the once so all the destructive thoughts in her head can be dealt with . My counsellor stopped me going round with assumptions in my head my wife needs to do the same thing .

Nowdays I don't give the idea of being seen transforming a second thought , what good does it do anyone ? I guess I'm usually in too much of a hurry just to get out the door and live the lifestyle .

[Sabrina133]

I met my wife when i was in girl mode so for her, it was neither a surprise nor a shock when I would dress after we moved in together. She has no problems offering pointers or recommendations. Now that I am full time, we get ready for work at the same time so ...

XO,
Bree

[NancySue]

My supportive wife has no problem with my dressing. Sometimes, I’ll change once or twice a day...skirts to pants to shorts, wigs, shoes....one never knows. I used to ask for her honest opinions, but now, she makes her comments when I walk in. They range from, “you look fantastic, you look nice....And, I know when there is a pause, she has a concern...mostly..too much makeup. I always ask for and follow her recommendations. She used to model and has impeccable tastes. She smiles and shakes her head when I wear hose..which is most of the time. We just laugh.

[Cheryl T]

Yes, mine is very comfortable with it now.
At first it was hard for her and I must admit it was difficult for me. I did not want to be seen unless I was either one way or the other.
Now it doesn't matter to either of us. We dress and makeup together, go out together and really just do everything together as we should.

[char GG]

The entire process takes my SO 5 hours. I don't have that kind of spare time in a day.

We usually go out when the process is complete.

[Jillian Faith]

Yes, mine is very comfortable with it now.
At first it was hard for her and I must admit it was difficult for me. I did not want to be seen unless I was either one way or the other.
Now it doesn't matter to either of us. We dress and makeup together, go out together and really just do everything together as we should.

Cheryl it was the same with my wife. The turning point for us was when she went with me to a transformation studio. The joy she saw on my face during the makeover softened her heart towards my cross dressing.... the makeup artists whispering in her ear didn't hurt my causes either. Since then she has seen my transformations at home many times and we have gone out shopping and to lunch many times as two girlfriends.

[Beverley Sims]

There is no real transformation process with me, it is usually a quick change wnen I come home and the rest is invisible.

[Jenn_8B]

I have to say that this has been a very interesting thread. While my wife is supportive, she hides her feelings so I don't know how exactly she feels. Also, I'm still very much in the early stages of learning makeup so she has rarely seen me with makeup; although on 1 -2 occasions she has given me help/advice.

I do wish she was a little more open with here feelings and thoughts, not just related to crossdressing.

[Heisthebride]

My wife is supportive and will help me at times. I will say we don’t always agree on what I should wear. I prefer overly feminine attire, skirts, dresses, gowns, high heels, sexy lingerie. She says women wear jeans, sweatshirts and more mundane clothes most of the time and tries to dress me down.

We do go out to fancy events together, but I try to temper it with going to some less formal events sometimes, but still in a skirt.

[Alice B]

Where the boundry of acceptance is varies for each of us and varies with time. My wife has always accepted the concept that I want to dress, but did not really want to see me as such. Total shaving is OK.Wearing panties is OK.Having my toe nails painted is OK. And now wearing a bra and forms at home, to bed and at breakfast is OK. But, she is not ready to see me fully dressed and is still shakey. I think it is the wig and not the make up, although she sometimes comments when I have full make up on. It gets betrter, but I doubt that I will live long enough to reach total acceptance. I think it is more about how a spouse was raised then culture

[CarlaWestin]

"Is your spouse comfortable watching the entire transformation process?"

I dream of that golden moment where she says,

"I've been thinking about this for a long time and, well, it's just not right that I can express my true self and,
because of ingrained prejudice beliefs, I've reacted with so much negativity and anger. Can I help you next time?"

But, it's DADT to the level of I have my space but, it will never be any more accepted than that.

[~Joanne~]

I think I have more of a problem with it than she does. I have never really "transformed" in front of her. I prefer that I just am fully dressed and such when she sees me.

[Taylor186]

I have a problem with it so I don't know what my wife thinks. I don't mind occasional status updates during the four hour transformation process but I don't like her watching while I put anything, and I mean anything, on: early or late stages. It's mostly my own private world.

[Teri Ray]

My wife and I are still evolving with accepting my dressing desire. My wife is very supportive in giving me time to dress and has no issues with me underdressing. We both are still uncomfortable with her seeing me fully dressed with wig and make up. Funny thing is she is ok with seeing me dressed in photos. Somehow the seeing me dressed in real time is more intimidating. I am also not sure how comfortable I am with my wife seeing me fully dressed. She has seen me in new outfits without make up and wig. We will take our time in getting to the point of her seeing me dressed, if we ever do.

[Samm]

My wife has no problem watching the transformation process. I think I may have more issues with it than she does.

Yup. Me too. I'm about an hour and a half getting girled up on a good day. In that time the wifey has a habit of bursting into the room at least three times, for various reasons. (She's like a cyclone until she hits the pillow and passes out lol.)
I don't feel comfortable being seen "unfinished". But that's pretty much my problem. She could care less.

[Darla L]

The entire process takes my SO 5 hours. I don't have that kind of spare time in a day.



I don't mind occasional status updates during the four hour transformation process...

Wow, I must be doing something wrong. I cannot imagine what would take 4 or 5 hours. My wife is a minimalist when it comes to her makeup, but we were waiting on our DIL to get ready to go out to eat over the holidays, and my wife commented on how I could go from total guy mode to total girl mode in less time than our DIL can do just her makeup.

As far as how involved she is, when I am home she likes to help with makeup, and is usually in the room during the rest of the process. When I am working away from home, she likes for me to send her pictures so she can critique my makeup.

Speaking of which, she just looked over and asked if I would like for her to do my makeup, then she has a couple of dresses she wants my opinion on for an upcoming trip. She also said she had a couple she wanted me to try on. So, I’ll talk to y’all later!

[JocelynJames]

Yes , she has watched, picked out outfits , helped with makeup. We don’t do mannerisms as I think that makes us both uncomfortable, but it’s never been discussed either. We’ve gone out once with me dressed( and will again when my nerve returns) and shop for clothes, shoes and makeup regularly. She asks for my advice and vise verse on if something looks good or not if we question it. She doesn’t “encourage it” she just goes with the flow. Life is pretty damn good

[DanielleDubois]

Thanks everyone for the thoughtful and well articulated responses ... but I wasn't really expecting less from the wonderful people on this forum. I am thankful everyday for how accepting my wife is of Danielle although it would be great if she decided to go back to meeting Danielle face to face once in a while. I guess that is why an important reason for me joining the forum was for the honest feedback I get on Danielle's presentation from members here and online friends I have met through this forum.

[Karen RHT]

Little late to the party here, but wanted to contribute. My wife and I are polar opposites when it comes to getting ourselves ready to do anything. She wants total privacy, whether it's makeup, dressing, selecting accessories, whatever. I just go about my business, whether I'm dressing in jeans or a skirt and blouse. She can walk into the room no matter whether putting on panties, or applying mascara, and I really don't care. She gives me grief should I attempt to walk into the room if she's in there dressing or applying makeup.


Karen

[Krisi]

My wife has never watched me "transform". I would be uncomfortable doing that in front of her but I would do it if the occasion required. It's normal for her to see me dressed and that's not an issue. She goes shopping with me for clothes and she has bought me clothes and jewelry on her own. I'm not sure I would say she is "supportive" but she accepts it.

She has seen me undress several times. Not that she sits there and stares at me but I've done it in her presence. She has also seen me washing my boobs in the sink. Her comment: "When I want to wash my boobs I just step into the shower!"

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

my wife tolerant of my transformation and even does my hair (I don't use a wig) but has often said she likes it better when I transform back into male mode

[aprilgirl]

She's supportive, always has been, but she's never witnessed the entire transformation process from start to finish. I suppose it's because she's busy doing other things or getting dressed herself.I would be alright if she had, as it wouldn't bother me in the least. Over the years she has seen me during every and any given stage of the process, though I'm sure she's more comfortable when I'm completely dressed. Now, if I was walking around the house all day in lingerie, I'd probably hear something from her.

[Zoe B]

My wife likes to be actively involved, making comments and suggestions. She has told me she enjoys the actual process and wants to ensure I look as good as possible. Including my clothing choices, making sure it looks realistic and not a horrible mash up of colours and/or styles.
I think her favourite part is the make up stage since she goes as far as insisting that I use certain items from her own kit for a good finish. I don’t think we have ever had an issue over it, the cards were always on the table from day one.

[Cheryl T]

She has seen me undress several times. Not that she sits there and stares at me but I've done it in her presence. She has also seen me washing my boobs in the sink. Her comment: "When I want to wash my boobs I just step into the shower!"

Mine asked me why I wear my bra to bed. I told her that unlike her if I don't wear a bra my boobs fall off...