OK, Here's my Story

[lovesnylons]

When my wife and I got married almost 12 years ago we got a little silly in the Motel Room. I put on her dress, and she put on my suit. It was cool, we had a good laugh about it and moved on

Years later, we came home from the bar and I told her that I had really liked it the night I put on her dress. I told her I would like to do that a little more often. She loved the idea. She got out all kinds of clothes for me to try on and even did my make up for me. All the while telling me how much all this was turning her on

We did that a couple times and then she didn't want to do it anymore, so we stopped

A couple months ago I decided I wanted to start it all up again. So when she wasn't home I sterted wearing her clothes around the house. She's a lot smaller than me, but it's simply amazing how many of her clothes actually fit

Anyway, I was trying to figure out a way to let her know I wanted to start doing this again. So one morning we woke up and I told her I had a dream that I had been dressed as a girl in public and wanted to try it for real. I told her I wanted the wig, the boobs, the shoes, the works. She gave me one of those kinda horny loking smiles and said we would talk about it after work

After work that night we both got on the computer and looked at various sites picking out wigs, shoes, waist cinchers, jewlry, and a few othar items I would need. We put together a shopping list, but didn't order at the time because out credid card said not to

So I waited. Getting dressed up while she was gone (like I am right now), and waiting for her to say something about it again. She never did. So one night I got off a couple hours before she did. I got home and got dressed up for her. She got home and when I walked out of the computer room she gave me a look like I have never seen from her before, and walked into the beddroom

I followed her in there and asked if she liked what she saw. She said no, get your own clothes on and closed the door

I went in the other bathroom and changed back into my own clothes and went back into the Living Room. She was sitting there reading the News Paper. I asjed her what the sudden change was and she said she didn't want to talk about it

Everything has been perfict in our marrage since then, unless I bring it up again. Then she clams up and will not talk about it

I'm confused now. Why the sudden change? Why doesn't she want to talk about it?

Anyone got any ideas on how to get her to open up a little and talk about it? I hate doing this behind her back. I really want to be open about it

[Julie York]

There's been some good threads and advice about this very thing. If you're patient I am sure people with more experience will help you out shortly.


The thing is, it is not based on logic but emotion. When she had a few drinks down her and was feeling frisky, that's a whole different mind set to being suddenly presented by a vision of her husband in drag.

Anyway, good luck.

[lovesnylons]

Thank you. I will keep an eye on this for advice

[Annaliese]

She is just afrad you are gay or something, show her you have not change and that you still love her. Tell her you are sorry you wore her clothes and that you want get your own clothes and ask her to look at this forum so she can see that this is normal for a guy to do, and this is a part of who you are.

P.S tell her you are just as confused as she is and that you need her help to sort it out.

Good luck

Anna

[Julie Avery]

I sure don't have an answer for this difficult situation, the first and only time I "came out" to someone I was accepted.

It seems to me that you're being a little coy with her, rather than coming out and saying, "You know, I wasn't really just playing around that time I wore your clothes, it's something that, as I'm growing older, I'm coming to realize has been with me for life. I've never been able to talk about it because I've never accepted it myself, but I'm reaching a stage in life where I need to do that."

The advantage of being a little coy is that it gives you a good retreat strategy; the disadvantage is that it doesn't really confront her with the true state of affairs. It sounds to me as though in your case, if you stick with the safe, coy strategy, you're soon going to need to drop the subject and stay in the closet.

Which strategy is best for you, only you could know, based on so many different things about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. But it might bear thinking about, to at least realize that there is another possible strategy, and be conscious about deciding which way you go.

Wishing you the very best, which is almost always something less than our wildest dreams ;)

[Snookums]

Maybe your wife being turned on by you dressed like that may make her feel gay,and she's afraid of those feelings.

[Lisa Maren]

Hello there

I'm understanding that when you walked out of the computer room en femme that night and she gave you a look and walked into the bedroom, she was taken by surprise.

There are a few things that might be happening. She certainly could be feeling doubt about your sexuality or hers. She certainly could be feeling that there's some feminine competition in the house (you en femme).

I wonder if she feels that dressing you up was something you did together, something perhaps meaningful or just fun. When you started dressing while home alone, perhaps she began to wonder why you've been getting started without her. She might be feeling rejection or fear that this part of you is somehow being taken away from her. (Especially in a marriage that has otherwise been going so well).

She might also be feeling that she doesn't want your dressing to continue but fears losing you if she tells you that.

Tell her that you won't keep asking her, you'll give her space on that and are always there when she does feel ready. Finish off by saying that you just don't want there to be things that you keep from each other and that you care a lot about it if something's troubling her about that or if talking about your dressing (or seeing you/doing it) are causing her any discomfort.

Just my 0.02

Hugs,
Lisa

[Snookums]

why is always doubt about"his" sexuality,why can't it be about the wifes sexuality.

[patty diamond]

We Have Nothing To Apologize For This Came From Birth,just Enjoy While You Can.

[DawnLabelle]

I think you should sit her down and tell her that this is more than just "sillyness" for you, and its a real desire that you have. I get the feeling that she is just seriously confused right now, and I wouldn't be surprised if she is having thoughts along the lines of "oh crap, I dressed my husband up a couple times and I turned him into a CD'er!!!".

As for her overall reaction to this, I can relate, I'm almost tempted not to cause I dont want to scare you from telling her (which I'm sure most of the girls in here will agree that it is something you should do). I had an ex who was very into fetish gear, sky high heels, corsets, pvc, etc, and she would joke often about dressing me up in it, even put a few corsets on me and yeah, it would turn her on in a way. Once I told her that I was actually CD, she flipped and never wanted to discuss nor see it ever again.

Good luck with everything!
Dawn

[Joy Carter]

Bad form old chap springing the dressing thing on her so suddenly. It had been to long and you didn't really know what her feelings were at the time you made your entrance. I know from doing the same thing the only difference is that is that she was turned off after only one night of play acting. And the second time and third and maybe the fourth time she went ballistic on me. She won't talk and that has made things all the harder for both of us. We made a privare vow before we got married that we would never go to bed angry and would always talk things out, she choked on that one she won't talk about it. I hope you all can talk to your SO about it even if they don't accept it It would make things alot easier.

Go In Gods Graces

[kathy gg]

Hmm where to begin.

First off if you are just more than doing this for sillyness, then your approach although seemingly harmless {to you} has now taken a turn for the more serious.

Also, it is one thing for a wife to think her and her guy are doing some sexual exploring and another to think he is doing this sexual exploration when she is not there. I am not saying it is good or bad, but since she is only getting half the whole story then her mind has probably wondered what it really means.

Does not sound like you have actually sat down and explained what this really means to you. Seems to me you have been using this "kinkyness" as the excuse. Although now that it appears to be more than that she is probably doing some hard thinking, and probably not all in yoru favor.

Most women don't know what a crossdresser is. You are new to this forum and I will give you the lowdown. We have no knowledge until we actually sit down with a cd and ask questions, or read a book, or have been educated on cd/tg/trans issues. To expect her to keep going with the flow is asking alot espically when you have been very shadowey on explaining youself throughly.
I know a coule just like you. They went through this "no crossdressing allowed" stage for a very very long time. Prior to that the hubby seemed to make all the dressing up a 'game'. Wife was okay as long as it stayed in this sexy-fun-bedroom-excitement- context. But when he started incorportating a wig, breast forms, and other things, now it has moved beyond one relm and into another. And again, if she is not versed on cd issues, her gut reaction will be to put a halt to this "game" that got out of control.

This couples big problem was the wife starting to question herself. She wondered what it meant that she found this fun. She felt that the only way to get things back to normal was to stop the game. So she pulled her participation. Until she read up and realized that her guy being a crossdresser did not make her a "lesbian" by default. She also had to find out exactly what her guy was feeling. And that took communication and him being honest that it might have started out as a sexy-fun-bedroom- game but turned into something more meaningful and deep for him. Her being there was a plus but the reality was that he still wanted to dress this way with or without her.

So..back to you....it is time you start making it YOUR responsiblity to explain to her what exactly it is you want. You may also realize that for alot of women they are up to try things a few times, but not make it a part of intimatcy at all times. Remember this is "YOUR" fetish first and foremost. You can't expect complete participation, on your terms all the time. I mean it is not fair to ask a wife or girlfriend to partake when it makes them uncomfortable. You tried to get what you wanted by going in the back way to the truth, but now you are having to deal with the front door truth and that means coming clean.

Are you ready to come clean to her?

[lovesnylons]

Well, that was a lot of information and I thank all of you. I guess you all are right and I need to explain to her that it's not a game for me. The problem is trying to get her to talk about it now. I guess I did scare her or something. I will try and talk to her about it soon. I will let you all know what happens. Thank you for the support here :)