Do you want to be a Women?

[Maria_mtf]

Firstly to clarify I do not mean to transition, I want some points of views from CDs who always plan to keep being a husband/dad/man.

Basically my Wife is trying to understand more and asked me if I want to be a women, I said no. After watching first dates, there was a CD on there, wife asked do I want to be like him, I don't. He mentioned they are just clothes and in my opinion his look was more androgynous. Wonder if he is on here? (He was great by the way, fair play to him)

I want to present as a women, full wig makeup and all. But do I want to act like a women too, I guess so. So essentially I want to impersonate a women. Or is it I actually want to be one temporarily. But of course wig/makeup doesnt make you a women.

I always figured if you want to be a women that means you will probably end up transitioning or living full time en femme. This of course is rubbish as I know gender is a spectrum.

I think the root of my problem if my wife hears me say I want to be a women she will freak. So can you impersonate a women without wanting to be one? But if you did why would you if you don't want to be one.

Hopefully at least one person will follow where I am going with this.

Maria x

[Helen_Highwater]

Maria,

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. So many of us want to present the best possible facsimile of a female without any intention of ever transitioning. There's a huge difference between those who feel they need to transition, folks born in the wrong body, to those who have feminine traits.

When I dress to go out I suppose my aim is to "look the part". I feel good about myself, I am comfortable in my own skin. Forms, padding, corset, all help me present well. I suppose I fall somewhere in-between male and female but more towards female. I count myself lucky, I can exist in two worlds and be comfortable in either.

[Michelle1955]

Yes, started at roughly age 5 or younger. Wanted to be a girl, as older yes a woman. Will I ever have surgery more than likely not. I’m 63 years old, married for nearly 40 years would have to have 100% acceptance from my wife. I manage my fog by dressing or underdressing. Currently a 42A bra / nearly B cup naturally.

[Roxy_legs]

I love to dress like a woman to present myself as best I can, but I will not ever be a woman.
I live in two worlds. I enjoy "man" sports etc. I express my true personality and creativity when dressing en femme though.

[CarolBrown]

Yes, I want to be a woman and have started to come out as Transgender in the last couple of months and mostly dress in a feminine manner, complete with daily make up and jewellery...

[Leonora]

No I don't, I only under dress at the moment but would love to full dress but I don't think my wife would go for that. For to dress and do feminine things it is just thrilling it just a feeling I get I guess. It a sense of naughtiness I guess is best way for me to explain it. But no I am happy being a male.

[Samm]

Hi Maria! My wife and I just had this same conversation about 20 minutes ago. Every now and then she needs a little reassurance that I'm not going to want to transition. She asked tonight how I identified. She said I'm not trans because I don't want to be a woman. And I'm not gay....? Which I'm not lol. I told her I'm perfectly happy being a little bit of both (male/female) I actually had a similar conversation last night at a meet up with 7 other ladies.
Like I told my wife:
To me, its more than "just the clothes"
Do I want to transition? No
Do I feel I'm in the wrong body? No
Do I feel I'm more male than female? Absolutely. But there is some "girl" in there.

I'm still, and always will be, the same guy she married. But that doesn't mean I don't like to get pretty once or twice a week;)

But hey, that's just me

[Alice Torn]

No. For a while I thought about it,, but i can never be one. i can never have a baby etc, so can never fully be one. i also realize i will need all my guy side just to survive, in the things just ahead in our country and world, when mere survival will be the big issue. A very old wise man who is no longer with us, made it very clear to me long ago.

[Diane Taylor]

Can't speak for everyone, but I've never had any though to being or becoming a woman. I'm perfectly happy dressing like one.

[Judy-Somthing]

I love being a guy and have no interest of being a woman but, I definitely am addicted to dressing up like one.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Whatever you decide to tell your spouse, try to remember that if it's not true, changing your mind and telling her something different later will just cause misery.

[JocelynJames]

Hi Maria,
I once told my wife it was like an acting role and I wanted to play a woman the best I could , but when the role is over I’m still me. I think we’re lucky if we can embrace and be both. For a while when I wasn’t feelin it, it was pretty depressing.

[Danielle_cder]

I love being a guy and have no interest of being a woman but, I definitely am addicted to dressing up like one.

yep this!

[FrannGurl]

I'm out to a few platonic male friends, most of my immediate family, and several women I know.

Most by choice, others by accident. I've also lost a few friends because of it, but maybe they weren't friends to begin with.
That being said, I'm as comfortable in my situation as I want to be right now. Later that may or may not change, I cant really say.

Would I like to live as a woman full time?

The answer is yes, IF ...IF society and my family were more accepting....Just where I'm at right now, has caused a great deal of pain in the past.

Would I like to actually transition with surgery?


No, Im happy with the way I was made....Well, aside from wanting B cup boobies:daydreaming:

[ToniG]

No interest in transitioning, but understand that some are. No SO to worry abt here--so no concerns in that area. But--- IF I go back to work in my "profession"-which is aerospace/mil/defence mfg---there are background-checks, security-clearance checks, and other anal exams to anticipate. Content as part-time Dresser, and try to blend and present as well as possible. Toni G..

[Georgia K]

I've never thought of becoming a women I was always envious as a child because girls/women got such nicer clothes and got pampered more . So that's what I want now

[Karen G]

It's a little complicated to explain sometimes. For me, I'm very happy being a dude who crossdresses, but also, honestly, I would have been really happy to be born as a woman, but the bottom line is, in any case I would like and need my wife to be in any of those lives. About transitioning, it's not for me since I would be as happy being a man or a woman who likes women. So for me: Straight crossdresser man or a lesbian woman.

[jen_ross]

I do not want to be a woman full time but i like to wear some women's things. Would I prefer to have been born as a woman? Maybe if in the U.S. in similar circumstances to which I was born as a male. I don't know though, men as mates are no picnic, myself included. For that matter being a woman is not easy either. Each gender comes with its own bonuses and burdens. I look at beautiful women including news anchors on TV and think I just want to be them. But I think it's just a fantasy.

[Suzie Petersen]

ToniG: But--- IF I go back to work in my "profession"-which is aerospace/mil/defence mfg---there are background-checks, security-clearance checks, and other anal exams to anticipate.

If they are requiring "anal" exams then you should probably be a little suspicious of that particular 3-letter agency 😁

[docrobbysherry]

I think u omitted other options, Maria. Many of us r happy to just imagine we FEEL like women or LOOK like women.:daydreaming:

In my case I could NEVER appear to be the woman I would wish to be so those thots vanished years ago. For the last 10 years I've to concentrate on APPEARING to be one in my photos and mirror! I guess I fit in your, "female impersonator" group!:battingeyelashes:

[Stephanie47]

Maria,

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Many women will tell you a man wearing women's clothing is demeaning and in no sense flattering. Decades ago my wife and I had "The Talk." Yes, the same questions. I said something that upon reflection was totally stupid. I mumbled something about 'my inner woman." She shot back something to the effect, "When you can have a baby, tell me about your inner woman." This was way before transgender issues were ever thought about in current day context. I had to tell her "I do not know why I do what I do!" I wished I did not do it. It has nothing to do with her. Long ago I gave up trying to make sense of it.

The best I can come up with is what a counselor I know said to me. She feels each man or woman has some degree of dna of the opposite sex within their dna. In some it is stronger than others. That may explain a lot. Maybe she's wrong. But, that's the best I got to offer my wife.

Now, when Stephanie arises within me for whatever reason, she wants to emulate her ideal woman. It is a lot more than a man in a dress. It is also personna.

Why would a man risk losing family, friends, job, church, neighbors, everything by wearing women's clothing? There is no rational to it.

You could answer your wife by saying what I would say, "If I was not a man, I would want to be a woman."

[sometimes_miss]

As a kid, I was told that god had made a mistake, and that I was really supposed to be a girl. This was initially a shock to me, but as he gave his reasons why he believed this, it sort of made sense. And then, once believing it, I started to see other things about my life that pointed in that direction as well. By the time I got to high school, I truly believed that I was supposed to be a girl, and I had thought that god would 'fix me' at some point, and I would someday wake up as a normal girl. I had prayed and prayed, but of course, god never answered. But apparently the damage was done. After growing up and believing that I was truly a girl for so long during my developmental years, it was stuck in my brain. Despite learning the differences between males and females personality, as well as all the differences in how we behave, communicate and how we see the world differently, there's always this lingering feeling that I'm in the wrong clothes, and in the wrong role in life, as if I'm a young teen female waiting to become a woman.
But I have never had any plans to transition, as there is no way I could ever have had a normal female life, even if I had gotten testosterone blockers at a young enough age, female HRT, and SRS. My body is simply in no way feminine at all. So I'm lucky that my GID isn't severe.
My only real regret is that I cannot have a normal relationship with a woman, as none that I have ever known would accept me once she knew about my past, my predeliction for female behaviors and feelings, especially my strong desire to wear clothes that are currently reserved for females only.

My own personal belief is that women have always been reliant upon men for protection and as providers, so anything that brings into question that they might not at some point be all that for her, makes us unacceptable as a potential mate. It's simple insecurity. I understand. It's been bred into human females for so many thousands if not millions of years, that I think it's a genetic predispositon for them to not want anything to do with feminine men. Even though I understand, and have to accept it, it does leave me very lonely sometimes, when I have to face that I will never have a long term relationship again. Oh well. Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all, I guess.

[Rochal Tukque]

I'm not really passable but being dressed I try to be the best in the feminine I can be if that is wanting to be a woman. The most important to my feminine self is having sisters online and in the flesh that can truly relate. I didn't choose this girl she chose me and it would be hell walking this road by your self.

[Beverley Sims]

In the past, the fact that I could pass well made me want to keep up the masquerade.

[t-girlxsophie]

No,I don't want to be a woman,there's enough I like to do as a man to want to keep being one.But I do have the overwhelming desire to,as it says in my signature,emulate a woman,which I try to do to the best of my ability,although very understanding my wife is also my biggest critic,she'll soon tell me if I'm making any faux pa's along the way :)

In my 50s now nearer the end of life than the beginning.I just want to enjoy this life I have where a huge part of it involves being Sophie

Sophie

[Maria_mtf]

Thank you all for your replies, wow.

Helen, what you have described it's what I was trying to get across I.E I was born in the right body, I can use that.

Michelle sorry to here you position but if you manage it and are happy then that's all that matters.

Roxy, good way of putting it.

Carol, good for you.

Leonora. I like the way you put it, yes it is thrilling and I think that is a big driver for me. As for your wife the only way to know is to ask, if you are not happy maybe you should talk.

Samm, think you nailled it, my feelings are similar to yours and your wives to mine. It's more than just clothes is something I need to get across. As for being a bit of both, guy and girl, I am not sure. I don't have any female mannerisms and I am not really feminine. However my desire to dress up has lead me to want to explore being more feminine to complete the look so to speak. I don't want to be a guy in a dress behind a mask .

Alice, Very true.

Diane, simple way of putting it thanks.

Judy, ditto.

Kelly I thought you were going in a different direction with that one. I started off dressing as purely sexual, so to now want to go out dressed up abd meet others is a huge change, so it might happen again.

Jocelyn perfect explanation, thank you.

Frann, thanks for sharing.

Toni, diff situation but similar feelings.

Georgia. I am also very envious, how can they not realise how unfair it was wearing pretty things as the norn.

Karen, very similar feelings to mine.

Jen, the last part is so true and important. My wife is the best thing to happen to me.

Docrobsherry, my groups are a bit limiting I agree, as it's a spectrum there are unlimited possibilities I guess. What I am after is making it simple for my wife whilst being honest.

Stephanie, I have recently repeated all those quotes.

Sometimes_miss. Thank you for your insights and sharing your experiences.

Rochal, so true, everyone on here has helped me so much. Biggest thing I have taken from this site is to never forget to appreciate my wife.

Beverley, makes sense, if we enjoy and are good at it why not do it.

Sophie, your signature is perfect x

Thanks again all, I will try to explain it my wife again now I have some other ways of putting it.

Maria x

[Patience]

Dont't blame a girl for having the irritatingly feminine trait of wanting to improve the people she likes. :heehee:

300101

Me? I just wanna be myself!

[Lilith Moon]

Thanks to everyone who posted here. It has given me some more understanding of my own status and maybe some answers. I especially empathize with the 'two worlds' concept. For me it is vital that I can present as female...deprived of the opportunity the need is like a never ending itch, 24/7. But I don't want to transition...why?

Well, I have this male body that I don't hate. I don't love it either..it just is. There's also my adoring female partner who I love so much. I feel she would be destroyed if the 'male me' ceased to exist. Also, when I occasionally have the freedom to dress how I want I will alternate between male/female modes after an initial female dressing 'binge'.

So I choose to live in 'two worlds' with my mixture of what are regarded as male/female traits. I'm 'two spirited'.

I remember answering the 'male<-->female' pill question...would I take it? Sure, if it worked both ways.

BTW, my answer was seen and misunderstood by my partner. It caused her so much distress that I shut down my crossdressing for several years and had a mega guilt trip for causing such hurt. But here I am again under a different ID and still feeling uneasy.

Just my POV

[Leonora]

It's a little complicated to explain sometimes. For me, I'm very happy being a dude who crossdresses, but also, honestly, I would have been really happy to be born as a woman, but the bottom line is, in any case I would like and need my wife to be in any of those lives. About transitioning, it's not for me since I would be as happy being a man or a woman who likes women. So for me: Straight crossdresser man or a lesbian woman.

I like your last statement, I would say something like that to. I could be a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Lol

[Helen_Highwater]

Maria,

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.


Many women will tell you a man wearing women's clothing is demeaning and in no sense flattering.


Stephanie,

I don't want to stray off post but your observation intrigued me if only down to the number of positive interactions those who go out, including me, report when encountering GG's one to one. Add to that the number of supportive SO's, okay there's those who are less that supportive, but I don't think that's because they view it primarily as demeaning to them.

I could understand it being more the case years ago when men dressing up on TV comedy programs created more a caricature, a stereotype, of women. Perhaps it's a measure of change in society.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yes, I'd like to be a woman, but.......... It's not meant to be in this life, so I do what I can, when I can, to get as close as I can.

[Ressie]

Yes I want to be a woman! But looking at my history, that will change tomorrow or the next day. Transitioning isn't for me at this point in my life. Heck, I wanted to be girl 50 years ago.

[KatieGG]

Lots of interesting answers here. I have asked my husband this question when he was getting more serious about dressing and his answer was no, but he wishes he could switch back and forth depending on how he felt that day.

I have wondered what life would be like as a man, I can certainly think of situations that would be better if I was. I grew up around a lot of boys and while it made me feel special being the only girl I would often get annoyed being told "oh thatd only for the boys" or "you don't need to be playing rough with the boys, you'll get hurt"

I'm also a big football fan and it would be nice if I was taking seriously when talking about it, or even being able to play in more than the powder puff games in school.

Of course you have the more serious issues of being scared to walk to my car at night and being paased over for a promotion for a man, and being able to pee outside with ease lol

[alwayshave]

No. I am mostly happy with my male side. That being said I don't remember a point in my life where I did not want to wear women's clothes. I have accepted that is who I am.

[rockerreds]

Yes, I was meant to be a woman, and I want to be one, 100%!

[susan54]

Though I spend most of my time in a dress I have never wanted to be a woman. I love how the clothes feel and how I look in them - I have been told that they suit me better than male clothes. Wearing them is fun in a way male clothes rarely are. I don't wear make up or a wig at home but do when I go out. There is definitely a buzz to going out in public dressed and acting as a woman but it is ACTING. I am actually getting more and more uncomfortable with the idea of pretending to be a woman so I am going out less and less. Yes, I have breast forms and a bra and I feel good in them. Can't figure out why - they make the clothes look better? I shave my legs and armpits because I find it more aesthetically pleasing but will not shave my arms or pierce my ears because my male perception (by others) is linked to these. I genuinely have no desire to be a woman and even when I go out pretending to be one I do not identify as one. I identify as a man who is acting. I admire the ability of many women to look amazing via an outfit and I want a piece of that. The reason I do not want to reveal to my colleagues that I crossdress is because the public (and some people on this site) believe that if you dress to resemble a woman you MUST be transgender. I am not ashamed of crossdressing - I just do not want the change in perception of my masculinity that would result from me being revealed as a crossdresser. I would not lose my job or my friends but there would be a change in attitude especially in how women react to me, and I rather like the way they react to me (as a man) now. So some of us guys just like the clothes and occasionally acting the part of a woman without ever actually wanting to be one. I don't pass which does not bother me - I get told I look really good and that is enough for me. Because now and again being a man who looks good when acting as a woman is where I want to be.

[Teri Ray]

Nope. I like being male that has the opportunity to dress as a female. I do not hate my body (other than loosing a few pounds). I never did understand why I desire to dress enfemme but I just do. I love the time I get to be enfemme but I believe I would loose interest in fully dressing if I had to do it everyday. I am betting that many real women find wearing loose fitting clothes and confortable shoes a huge benefit (ie dressing like a man). I believe that standing up to use the restroom is something everyone would want if they could do it.

[AnnieMac]

Yeah, I would like to be a woman, but a girl first, and in my next life.
I would like to be reborn as a girl from birth in my next life. I'm happy as a man in this one.
There is a part of me deep inside that senses this is so.

[Periwinkle]

Nah. I think I'm fine the way I am. I just wanna wear pretty things! :)

[Confucius]

Do I want to be a woman? No.
I have spent too much of my life working on being a good man, a good husband and a good father.

If not, then what do I want from crossdressing?
I crossdress because it makes me happy. My brain is just hardwired to release a host of feel-good neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin, etc.) when I feminize myself. I believe my brain was hardwired from early childhood, and I can't change this.

Some guys release these neurotransmitters when they fix cars, win at playing sports, complete some tasks, solve problems, etc. It is a sense of accomplishment. It reduces stress and produces a sense of personal gratification, as well as being a sexual arousal point. It isn't unhealthy at all, in fact, it probably makes us better persons. I believe everyone needs an outlet that allows them to feel good.

So for me crossdressing is about releasing my dopamine and feeling good. It doesn't mean that I have to transition, or even need to pass in public as a beautiful young woman. Trying on a new skirt or a silky nightgown alone does wonders for me.

[Brandi Christine]

Over the years I have come to the realization that yes, I want to be a woman, but my circumstances have always prevented it, my family, my wife, my job, my fear.

I think that I am somewhat different than most on this forum in that I don't have any desire to be sexual with women (or other CD or Trans people) while en femme. My fantasies for a long time always have me as the woman and I am with a man, whether the fantasy is sex, family, love, whatever...

Were it not for those ties (& fears, although the fears have diminished with age), I would proceed in a heartbeat, it is a difficult & maddening situation as I am over 50 and my 'passable' time is ticking by every day.

I have recently started seeing a therapist for my crossdressing/feelings and talked about it and she is supportive, one of my concerns I related to her is that I honestly felt this way 25 years ago, but was afraid to tell anyone (including the therapists I was seeing for depression/suicidal thoughts at the time). As I look back, had I had the courage to move forward then, I might be in a much different situation now. What I am afraid of is am I going to think the same thing in another ten years???

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

I must admit the older I get the more I want to be a woman, not just in appearance but with all the female plumbing
I have been married for almost 35 yrs to a wonderful lady(only out to her for the past 8 yrs) and will never
go the full route and transistion and hurt her anymore than I already have.

[Debra Russell]

When I was very young I prayed I would wake up and be a girl....well that didn't work out so well. In my male life I have been all male, bodybuilder (seriously competing) sports ect. maybe as a way to stay the forces, but always a nagging concept that I should have been a woman. After 73 yrs it aint gonna happen so try to be happy with what it is - crossdressing - and trying to do it right...…...best to all of our endeavors to emulate the feminine ……..sincerely :hugs: …………………………..Debra

[Sabrina133]

What a great question. From my perspective, while I am not a female, I am, by every other measure, a woman. I dress like woman, my mannerism are that of a woman, and my wife says i think like a woman. The fact that I have not taken the final step to become a female doesn't make me any less of a woman. It is how I see myself, how my wife sees me and how my colleagues see me.

I will admit that as I grew up, that was not always the case. Probably like many here, i struggled with who I was when i realized that something wasn't quite right. I didn't like to play sports, i had an eye for what girls my age were wearing, and i had a definite effeminate way of acting. I struggled with both my sexuality and gender identity through my college experience and in the time I spent as an officer in the Army. Due to friendships and mentorships i recieved from many in the drag community in Austin TX, i realized that while i might be a male, I am a woman. This point of view has been reinforced and encouraged by the wonderful person who i met and married when i moved to the midwest.

So, do i wish I had been born a woman - I was. Do i wish I would have been born a female - certainly would have made growing up easier but, frankly, no. I am glad I was born a male.

[Gillian Gigs]

When I first read , or saw the idea in of "shape shifting", the concept totally enthralled me. To have the ability to change from one state to another would be so good. You could get up in the morning and your mood, or desire would lead you into a day of your choosing. That being said, I would probably spend 75% of my time in male mode, like work, business, exercise. The 25% in female mode would be relaxing, shopping, and people time. I find that my feminine side is more relational, than my masculine side. I guess what I am really attempting to say is, I would like to get the best of both worlds, but in a polarized society the male side has way more advantages.

[Alice B]

That is a steep slope in my life. I think my answer is MAYBE, in a very limited sense. I have had a very fulfiling life and fun one as my male self. I feel I have accomplished a lot on a local, antional and international scales. Thus my male self is very established and known. I did not start expressing my female side until late in life and totally love it. For me it is very easy to switch from one expression to the other and have acceptance from family and close friends. So I should be totally happy, BUT I want real breasts. Not massive, but somewhere between a B and C cup. That is as far as I would want to go. To be able to openly express both sides of my personality at the same time. Yet the world I operate in would never accept this. It is very late in my life to do this

[Teresa]

Maria,
I posted two threads in NB section titled , " If only " and " Lovely present but ... !"

Did I believe I would ever get to this point ? I separated from my wife in February last year , moved twenty mlies away ( possibly not that far from you !) to attempt to go full time . It has worked out better than I expected so now I've reached a point of wanting to be seen less and less in male mode .

Debating about labels and the " passing " situation , I now accept I go out as Teresa , nothing is off limits . When I first joined here a member who sadly has moved on called her situation social transition , she went on to continue her career in the Canadian Army as a female major . As I recall she never claimed to be a woman as she always said labels are for soup cans, she simply went out as Marcelle .

So to answer your question do I want to be woman , well lets turn it round and say I prefer now not to be a man . At the moment I'm still a husband , a father and also a grandfather , I posted recently about a wonderful day out with my daughter , grandaughter and her mother in law . I felt comfortable and dare I say it felt normal , what people actually view me as I can't say so I'll just use Marcelle's phrase and say I felt good as Teresa , if some like to think I'm a woman then that's a wonderful bonus for me .

I'm not impersonating anyone as I'm out as Teresa .

[deebra]

Sure, if possible I would love to be a 20 something curvy attractive woman for a year and see if I wanted to stay or go back. Imagine all the clothes that fit, no tucking, clevage, non violent female world, express your true feelings and not be macho male, pretty and attractive to your self and others, soft and feminine and I could go on and on.

[ShelbyDawn]

Do I want to be a woman? No, not really. I like who I am and am perfectly happy with the current balance I have in my life. Having said that, if I woke up tomorrow as a woman, I think it would be pretty great.

[Brenda Summers]

I have to agree with Shelbydawn and Deebra's post. I like the wording and agree with what you said. Thanks for explaining it so well.

[Nikki A.]

Great question with a lot of different answers. Just shows that although we have a common trait we are all over the spectrum.
As for myself, I am not unhappy being a male and at this point in my life I would not see the need to transition. If I had the same information and resources 40 yrs ago than what is available now, maybe I might have considered a different course. I do feel the need to express my "female" side on a regular basis and do wish I could do it more often than once a week or at least incorporate it more into my everyday presentation.
On the other hand, if I was to wake up one morning and was a woman and accepted as such by all that I met. I don't think I would have a problem adjusting to that also. Maybe when I retire and not have to worry about a job and earning an income maybe I will also reconsider my options. I'd like to be able to live in two places, one where I could me, and the other where I could be my female persona 24/7 for a long period of time and see how that would work for me.

[Wildaboutheels]

NO, not at all in any way, shape or form.

Of course, being a female does come with some (VERY) obvious advantages, but also some obvious disadvantages. No different than being/"presenting as" a male. I like being a male.

I wear what I want to, where I want to.

Why woudn't I?

[Jenn A116]

Do I want to be a woman? Hmmm, I don't think I would care. I know I'm a man and I don't want to change to be a woman. I appreciate being a man. BUT, I also enjoy dressing as a woman at times. If I were to wake up one day and find that I was a woman, I wouldn't be distraught, I'd embrace it.

[Swottie]

As a kid, I was told that god had made a mistake, ...

That's one big argument waiting to happen, with some arguing "god doesn't make mistakes".

Whilst I don't believe in creationism, I'd argue with those who do, then if god doesn't make mistakes then God must have intentionally done it as a challenge, you know just like god created diseases and natural disasters and sufferings, gender dysphoria must have been a challenge to see who can learn to accept differences and not default to hate. Unless they want to claim their God created them to hate people.

If God doesn't make mistakes, then the mistakes must be made by those self righteous, power grabbing, people hating religious groups then.

[TheHiddenMe]

No for me.

When I was a young boy (50 years ago), I saw a girl's dress and wanted to try it on.

Fast forward to my early teens and I tried on my sister's pantyhose, and I loved the feeling.

I still love the feeling of wearing dresses with pantyhose and heels.

I love wearing women's clothes, the accessories to complete the look (makeup, jewelry, wigs, heels), and enjoy how I present dressed in women's clothes, but I dont want to be a woman.

[Kandi Robbins]

No, I do not want to be a woman, no interest.

Do I wish to be perceived as a woman when dressed? Yes, 100%, no question.

Do I pass as a woman? Never, not once.

Am I treated as a woman? All the time, almost every time.

[Loveday]

Myself, I would not mind being a women. To my great surprise I have even been asked out a few times in 2018, although I was to scared to accept. I have always been very shy and a introvert so it takes a lot of stress off of me. I was never into any team sports but have done all sorts of mechanical stuff. I wish I could transition but medically I cannot(bad heart and intestinal issues). So I am a male.

[annecwesley]

I'm really enjoying this thread, in fact the comments helped me a lot last evening when I was talking to my wife. I told her that I want to shave off my beard (after 40 years of having one), her response was "Are you trying to feminize?" Her concern is that this is a step in my eventually transitioning. And given the high profile of Transgenderism in our culture now, I understand how she could perceive that.

We got into the discussion about crossdressing vs. gender dysphoria. I assured her that I do not want to become a woman, that I do not believe I was born in the wrong body. She's not losing the man she married (except occasionally, when he goes away to be Anne.) I do not feel that I am somewhere along on a path of becoming a woman, or part of a spectrum with surgical "womanhood" at the end. I feel that crossdressing and Transgenderism are as different as crossdressing and homosexuality - and I am a crossdresser.

Having other crossdressers here express the same feelings and attitudes helps me help my wife to deal with my "hobby", "acting", "itch relief"... and step aside from the social-political upheaval and personal challenge that that "Transgenderism" represents to a conservative minded woman.

[Tina Davis]

Like many others here, I do not want to be a woman. I want to look like a woman, whether it's in a dress, hose, and heels, or if I'm wearing skinny jeans, a sweater, and boots. I am also very closeted - although my wife and daughter know I have dressed, they don't know the extent of it. And there are plenty of reasons why I like being male. I just wish I had the opportunity to dress more often.

[IleneD]

Yes.
God help me, but yes.
I don't fully fathom why. Wish it weren't so. I just know what I've always known. Yes.
I'm getting there, slowly.

[Rayleen]

I have always wish and think I was born in the wrong body. My mind is wired female and I guess I could have liked to be coupled with another female, In those early days, we did not have information to transitioned at a young age.

It makes for memories and wondering what it would be like.

[DeeDeeB]

Absolutely, but I think the stork was confused, so now I am too.

DeeDee :fairy1:

[Kas]

I want to be a man in the body of a woman. Best of both worlds.

[Teresa]

Swottie,
Perhaps we could put your comment slightly differently and say nature does deviate ! Who knows being TG eventually could become " The Norm !"

I was saddened a long time ago when religion was related to "HATE" , I have to be careful not to break any rules but it does appear to more of a problem in the US .

Closer to home , when I told my mother I was born with this female trait she was fine and then two days later she rang to say she felt guilty because it was her fault , I reassured her it was no one's fault , it just happens .

[Martina]

I have enjoyed my male life, not sure that I would have wanted to be a woman.
I know that my Mother always wanted a girl and I should have been that one for her.
When my brothers said to me about being a girl I was not too happy but thinking back I guess it would have been nice to have for-filled my mothers hope or dream.

Martina

[Georgina]

Definitely not. I am happy as a male and I think I appreciate female clothes more as a man. I enjoy my work and I enjoy the advantages being a man brings.

[Krisi]

I have occasional fantasies of being a woman but the reality is, I am not a woman and can never be a woman. Dressing as one from time to time is the best I can do. Besides, I have a male life, friends and family.

[KymG]

I love being a guy and have no interest of being a woman but, I definitely am addicted to dressing up like one.

Yep, thats me.

[Tabitha_Lynn]

Absolutely. If it were possible for me to be reborn and actually be a genetic woman, I would choose that in a heartbeat. If it were possible to go back in in life where it were possible to transition (prior to life's commitments), I would.

[Miss V]

If there was some magical way to transform me into a woman without any surgery or medication. Then yes, I think I would do it.

Despite my answer, I don't think I have Gender Disphoria. I've never felt like I'm female "Inside" or mentally. I'm just a man who would love to live as a women. But I can settle for just dressing.

[Adelina]

I was asked this question once when I was caught dressing at about age 12. My mom asked it in what I deemed to be a very confrontational tone, so I had the answer I wanted to give (yes) and the answer I gave (no). Often, I wish I had the courage to answer the way I wanted to answer. I think that would have been a tough road to transition then, and some of sports and activities I enjoyed as a boy, a lot of girls didn't do at the time. Now, with acceptance and changing society, it'd have been easier to say yes.

If it makes sense, I still feel like I'm a girl. When I have an internal monologue, I'll say things to myself like "girl, you got this." When I'm watching TV, I relate to the girl characters. When I play video games, I pick them. An increasing number of my dreams have me as a female - that's kind of an odd change. All that said, though, I don't pass very well, I have built a pretty decent "male" life, and I'm a little scared to take the leap into hormones and body modifications or screw up real-life relationships... so I'm probably resigned to being where I am. I enjoy dressing when I can, I like talking with girls about stereotypically girl things, and I do get excited about playing traditionally female roles in relationships and sexually, but I doubt I'll act on it.

If you ask if I wish I were born a girl or of there was a magical pill that could just fix everything without the attached struggles, yeah I'd go there.

[robbieatbest]

I often have this thought process - sometimes in answer to a question, sometimes just in my head. I spent a lot of time trying hard to be manly, wondering if i would have body hair and growing a beard before i could have one that looked OK. I am now 68 and it is only the last ten/twelve years I have thought how nice it would be to not have male organs. I did manage to grow a decent beard. I had quite large breasts when young and had a mastectomy when I was forty. It certainly stopped me getting pointed and sniggered at and I was a lot more comfortable in a tee shirt or swimming. Sometimes I would like to have my breasts back but a padded bra can look OK.
A lot of the time I do think I would like to be a woman but I do not want to have surgery. I have a very supportive and loving relationship with my wife and she does not want me to change my body. I do not have any feelings of attraction to men.
So I wear women's clothes and jewelry most of the time. Not as often, I wear make up and a dress/skirt but not out in public at large. I don't pass as a woman. I would like to.
It is quite a good life and I enjoy it most of the time.
Cheers
Robbie

[AllieBellema]

Really not sure on this... granted, I grew up in my mom's old room with all her toys and my grandparents really didn't stop me from playing with her stuff so I somedays feel like I wish I should have been a women... but on the other hand, I'm content with where I'm at now. Granted, yes, I'm not always happy with myself and do seek change somewhere. I think me being a women is just more wanting to have more opportunities to wear the pretty gowns and dresses they get to wear.

[CrossKimmy]

I’ve thought about this quite a lot. There are days where I definitely feel like my life would be more stable if I were born a girl.

The more I think about this today the more I say yes I do want to live my life as a woman and have that experience. I’ve always felt in touch with my feminine side.


What if I were born a girl though? Would I be a FTM crossdresser? I don’t think I would be.

[Alice Torn]

Sometimes Miss. i can relate some, and sadly you are right. I may never have commitment or intimacy with a woman either, only non sexual non romantic friendships at most. It is better to be alone, than with a wrong person, though. I will always have this conflict in my life, in this world, too.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Yes, I do! Just like I would say to him when he asks me to be his wife!
Roxanne, A Girl At Heart

[CynthiaD]

I consider myself to be a woman, and the clothes to be a validation of those feelings. The idea of physical transition is appealing to me, but not necessary. It would validate my feelings, but wouldn't really change anything. I can still do the man thing if necessary. I've never been comfortable with the male role, and it took me a long time to master it. But I'm old now, and I've had years of practice.

[AnotherSarah]

If I had the choice, yes i should have been female.

[prene]

Funny the more I dress the more I would love to transition.

If I was 20 and know what I do now I would do it in a second.

[BeccaB]

No. But I definitely would have liked to have been born a girl. I wish I was one. But I don't wish to become one.

[Sissy_in_pink]

I have been thinking about why I'm a crossdresser and have come to the conclusion that I'm not transgender, but I would love to be a girl any way possible, only problem I have is the lack of funds to get a sex change and age, I'm 64 this month so it's a bit to late for me, but if I won a couple of million in the lottery I might consider a sex change then.
I love to crossdress and would love to do it permanently, but family, friends and work prevent me doing so. I hope to retire in about 6 months and move far away, I will then be able to do it more often, like almost permanently.

[pob]

I would not change the sex I was born as but if I could magically swap between, I would :P

[Krisi]

Yes, I have an ongoing fantasy that there is a chamber that I could enter with my wife and we would swap bodies for a week or two. That would be fun and safe.

In reality, I'm sure my life is better than it would have been if I had been born female. That was a long time ago when women were expected to be housewives and have a bunch of babies or perhaps be secretaries. Women had few opportunities back then. I think if I were to be born today, female would be fine.

[CrossKimmy]

lately I’ve been wondering if I truly am trans

What a luxury it is for people who are absolutely certain of their assigned gender. I like being a guy but I feel like off center like the lines don’t meet. When I’m dressed, all the lines are connected and I feel one with the world.

I often wonder if my life would have been easier if I were born a girl so I would be certain of my identity in terms of my gender. Ughhh so difficult sometimes.

[Katherine L.]

No, I’m content to be a crossdresser.

[Lana Mae]

Maybe! My "male" mode is getting more and more feminine! I was macho male with all the sports and rough and tumble activities! I am gender "me" right now! Taking hormones but not so sure about the SRS! I am just sailing along on my journey and will go where it takes me! I guess I am just Transgender! Not much male clothing left! Women's clothing 24/7 except at work! I am still dad and grandad, but I will be that always regardless of appearance! (Thanks, Pat!) Hugs Lana Mae

[Asew]

As a teenager I had a hard time accepting my dressing since I didn't want to be a woman. And to me at that time it seemed like dressers should become drag queens or transition. I continue to not want to be a woman, but have accepted I am non-binary and can mix both male and female aspects in a way that works for me.

[AmandaJean]

Such interesting and very thoughtful replies to this question. It does show that everyone has their own life and story. I truly appreciate you all sharing yours!

As for me, I have no interest in being a woman. It's a thrill to dress up and present (to myself at least) as a woman. I like the clothes and the process of applying makeup, pads, forms, clothing and shoes. But it's just a once in a while step into how the other half lives. Woman are far too attractive to me and this is a way to be attractive to myself, if that makes sense.

Now if you asked if there was some way to become a woman for a week and then be myself again. That would be an interesting experience. Obviously deep fantasy, but the idea of experiencing the world as a woman for a short period of time seems intriguing to me.

[Stacy Darling]

I more want to be the product of the beauty within? Too Much?
Stacy!

[Tabitha_Lynn]

I wish that I were born truly female in mind and body rather than just mind.

Since that isn't possible, if do-overs were possible; I would certainly have chosen a a different life path and begun a full transition many years ago had I fully understood myself.

However, because of life choices and commitments made before I came to truly know myself, I am committed to living a male life with only a smattering of my true identity sprinkled in.

[Taylor186]

I would like to be seen as a 100% passable and attractive woman when out crossdressed (won't happen). Other than that, I am 100% male no matter what clothes I am wearing.

[RebeccaV]

Echoing alot of other answers I'd love to be 100% passable but very comfortable being a man and dressing feemme.

[Cynthia_0101]

I spent a lot of time thinking there was something wrong with me when I was young, I was conflicted as to what I was and what I should have been. But as I became older I accepted the fact that I am a man that loves to express my femenine side as wholy as I possibly can. Would I change anything now, no. I have fully accepted who and what I am.

Cynthia

[Pixie_94]

Sometimes, sometimes not.

[StefaniLara]

Absolutely I do. Everyday I think about it. Took me years to come to that realization that I'm transgender and not a crossdresser. Whether I'll decide to actually transition is another question. For now, I'm happy to accept that I'm both male and female. I'm out, for the most part, but I'm not yet ready to take that step.

[Karen RHT]

No desire to transition whatsoever. I enjoy dressing and do what I can to look good while dressed. Have thought about dressing full time, but not ready for that, at least not yet. lol


Karen

[Sherri_Christopher]

I don't want to transition either. Although I love crossdressing, there's aspects of my male self that I love as well, including being a grandfather and father to my grown children.

Sherri

[Bruce64]

No, I will not want to be a Woman

[krissy]

I love to dress as awoman but I do wish I had breast but I know I cant do that hell im a great grandpa I cant change now but I sure would love to have bigger breast to fill my bras

[Andrea2656]

Simple answer is no. I am a man interested in women. Nonetheless, cross dressing allows me to express an aspect of my personality that cannot be realized as a man.

[LeannS]

If I had the opportunity to change I would in a heart beat. but that is a long shot to say the least so I guess I will be happy just being me.

[prene]

Funny the more I dress the more I would love to transition.

If I was 20 and know what I do now I would do it in a second.

In thinking about this more.
If I could pass ... I would.

[KimberlyJean]

Yes, I would love to be exactly who I am today, only female.

[KatrinaK]

Personally I would prefer to be a woman rather than women, because dissociative personality disorder sounds like a lot of work!

[April Rose]

What I would like, and continually work at, is a society and self which honors and embraces a feminine person, regardless of body type.

[Becky Blue]

Sometimes I want to be a woman, often I think I am one on the inside. Yet at other times I don't think about what I am or want to be...I am never really happy being a guy even though i spend a lot of time dressed as one and behaving as one. Confused? Yeah exactly :doh:But all that being said I am happy being mixed up.

[mbmeen12]

Sure if pigs can fly, I would want just some of the physical attributes....But that could/would another thread...

[Yinlingyen]

My answer would be yes I want to be a woman if I could choose right from birth.
My answer would also be yes I want to be a woman right now if it didn't involve surgery and the baggage that comes with transitioning.

[penny lace]

If I were younger then I think I would have changed at the drop of a hat. Now I realise that I am more gender fluid so do not feel the need. I would just be happy if society could accept me having a female persona whilst being anatomically male.

[Raychel]

No, No reason for that, I like who I am for the most part, Just prefer dressing in womens clothes

[emilyanne]

Yes if I was younger I would transition or from birth . Definitely I would . Right now at my age it is not going to happen.

[Laura28]

This is a tough one. I would say yes if it wouldn’t effect anything in my life. (Family friends work etc) but it would so I guess no. I would love to have bigger breasts mine are a 38 full B. Would like them bigger. Wife says she would to. I have done something to get them bigger but seem to be stuck at B.

[MarinaTwelve200]

NO, it would be "terrible" ----But the very idea I find highly erotic.---Go figure. Perhaps I have a "Masochistic" bend for "Humiliation, etc. CD is also "Very relaxing", which is the PRIMARY reason I do it.

[Rosemary+]

For as long as I can remember my last thought before I fall asleep at night is I hope I wake as female.
As a teenager Id wake in the morning still the same old male me and I’d punch the wall in frustration. Luckily I grew out of punching the wall
So to answer your question YES I would love to be a woman

[Lacey New]

No, not really. However it would be an interesting experiment to be young, shapely and actually be able to passs as a woman.

[Myra Thomas]

I always have and always will want to be a woman, but unfortunately that will never happen!! When i finally came out to my wife many uears ago, she was quite supporting, but the minute she asked me if i wanted to be a woman and i answered truthfully, it all stopped and is now never mentioned.
Just something i have to live with. Thank goodness for this site, it helps keep me sane 😉

[Tracy Irving]

If I was a woman, it wouldn't be as much fun dressing in their clothing. So, the short answer is "no".

[Moe]

My answer would be "sometimes". Would like to have my male equipment removed since they are of no use after my operation. Breasts would also be nice. But none of this would ever happen for many reasons so I'll live happily with what I have.

[deebra]

Maria when you are dressed and out as a woman you do want to be all things woman. But you might get tired of being a woman and want to get back to a more simple life of dressing and acting as the man you have all ways been. When the pink fog rolls in and panties, skirts, feminity control your mind you just have to take on your second self OR is it your first self and male is now second ????

[Karmen]

Yes and no. Basically I like being a man, but would like to wear makeup, female clothes and shoes all day every day, because I like them more than male clothes. Since male cross dressing is still not really well accepted in our society, it would be easier just to be a woman.

[Lucy23]

No, the thought never crossed my ming. I like being a man.

[Alexis00]

Like many people here I think, I've been cross dressing part-time for many years without ever thinking of transitioning to full time dressing, let alone transitioning. But it has taken some education to be comfortable with where I am.

Most people look at gender and sexuality as binary: male or female, gay or straight. Even "bi" is suspect to them. And very few people have any interest in learning more about the subject.

I had a nearly year long relationship with a girl that was pretty serious. I decided to reveal to her my crossdressing, after laying the usual hints at Halloween. She professed to be supportive, but eventually left me because, "I want to date a man, not someone who wants to be a woman." She was convinced that presenting as a woman automatically meant I wanted to have sex with men, and transition to full time. So she left. It was very hard for me to take, but better to have found out before full commitment or marriage than after.

[ellbee]

I have wondered what life would be like as a man, I can certainly think of situations that would be better if I was.

Likewise, can you think of any situations that would be *worse* if you were a guy?

Because speaking from decades of daily firsthand experience, I assure you, plenty exist. :p


Seems like some GG's want all the "good stuff" that males get to enjoy -- yet none of the bad crap out there that automatically comes with the territory.

And the same holds true regarding the inverse with men, apparently including even some on this site.


Can't have your cake & eat it, too, folks! ;)


Bottom line? It sucks being a GG -- and it sucks being a guy.

And yet both can be pretty awesome, as well.


Just all of the above in different ways. Fact of life, is all. :)



Alexis wrote:

I had a nearly year long relationship with a girl that was pretty serious. I decided to reveal to her my crossdressing, after laying the usual hints at Halloween. She professed to be supportive, but eventually left me because, "I want to marry a man, not someone who wants to be a woman." She was convinced that presenting as a woman automatically meant I wanted to have sex with men, and transition to full time. So she left. It was very for me to take, but better to have found out before full commitment or marriage than after.


Sorry that had happened to you. It kinda sucks when things like that happen with all this... Yet at the same time, it also sounds like you dodged a bullet, as it seems you're well aware. :thumbsup:


Yep, some GG's just can't handle it when it comes to their BF / hubby. Hitting a wee bit too close to home. It's unfortunate, really, but I suppose it is their prerogative, perhaps understandably so.

Could it be the *only* reason why a GG decides to leave? Sure. Or, it could just be the straw that broke the camel's back.

Of course, there's always the possibility that she simply uses it as a convenient excuse... That she no longer wants to be in the relationship, anyway, and uses it as an easy out.


Regardless, nothing wrong with seeking a mate who's kinda genuinely cool with it all, or at least on some levels. Enough do exist, perhaps a bit moreso with the younger crowd? Finding someone who you can just be yourself around, and vice versa, is really what it's all about. :)

[Veronica4me]

Definitely not. If I were a woman, the thrill and joy I have in dressing in women's clothes probably would not be there, as it would be just normal. I would imagine transitioning helps a man feel and be more like a woman, but we are designed very differently by God. Wanting to be a woman and actually being one can never be the same. A man presenting as a woman to me is unavoidable now, but I would not be happy as a woman. I am happy being en femme as Veronica, however. Still, I am in the closet, and have not been in a relationship since my dressing really took off in the last couple of years.