Age-appropriate dressing

[kaleyg]

I've felt torn often times when I see a CD who is wearing clothing that just isn't age appropriate. It isn't that it isn't flattering (it usually isn't) -- I would have the SAME reaction to an older gg who was wearing an outfit designed for a 20 something. And I say this as an "older" cd myself, who fantasizes about being that young sexy thing! It just isn't reality given body shape, etc. Even wigs and make up can be wildly disconnected from our age.

Now, let me say -- it is a different thing when someone is just living out a fantasy in front of the camera, and sharing the pics here. I'm mostly talking about someone who is trying to go out in public.

What do you ladies think? Should I just shut up about other people's preferences, or even support them unconditionally? Or should we be helping each other learn what is appropriate for public presentation?

[Maid_Marion]

You mean like wearing a pair of pink Barbie gloves for kids? I have small hands and they fit perfectly. I think I look pretty decent with a 26 inch waistline right after the Holiday season.

I have short shorts that fit me perfectly at the waist and hips, but I don't carry enough weight in the thighs like a GG to get that skin tight look.
I work out in the yard so I have nicely toned legs. They don't have sun damage like a lot of GGs because I like to work in the shade of my yard.

[Cynthia_0101]

I try not to judge other people at all, if that's what you like, by all means, rock it. We all have our own styles and fashion sense.

[Swottie]

It's a learning process, for CDs who started the journey in the closet usually meant less time spent practising than the average gg. It takes time to find ourselves, and to find a style that suits us. Just say it normally takes 4 years for a gg to learn about themselves, stretching that 4 years into part time hours means a lot more years is needed for a CD to gather the same knowledge, so mistakes are inevitable. It's like we take the adulesant years and experience it part time. All adulesant girls make mistakes.

[Asew]

I have read other places, that since we missed those early years by being stuck in male clothes, some of us progress through those earlier age clothes before settling on something typically more age appropriate.

My wife hates when I wear skirts that are more frilly or cutesy and I should wear something my age. My mother in law says some of my skirts are too mature for me and I should wear something my age. But most of the time I do wear something close to my age, even if I do go outside of age appropriateness sometimes.

[Roxy_legs]

It has been a challenge to find a style I am confident in. I probably started with too old, more shapeless clothes. As I have become more confident I perhaps look at styles that are too young for my age in shops. However I normally refelct and watch what GG of my age group are wearing and copy them. I have been known to ask where a lady had purchased a dress she was wearing.

[Diane Smith]

I like to observe others, take mental notes about what works and what doesn't, and apply what I learn (filtered through my own fashion sense) to improving my presentation in the future. I am liberal with compliments when someone looks good, but keep negative comments strictly to myself unless I am asked directly. Even then, I try to be gentle and constructive and often try to focus on one thing that needs improvement, even if my internal impression may be that the look is a train wreck!

- Diane

[Diane Taylor]

To each their own when it comes to how some of us dress. That said, I think it's somewhat important to look presentable when going out in public if you want to go by unnoticed. Part of that means looking your age, otherwise you'll stick out like a sore thumb. We can still make ourselves look a little younger than our actual age with nice clothing and proper makeup application but if we try to make ourselves look 40 years younger than we are, it just doesn't work.

[sometimes_miss]

Wear whatever you like, and try not to be bothered by what other people might think. After all, to >99% of the people who see us, EVERYTHING we wear is that is considered female clothing is 'inappropriate'; doesn't matter what age group it's specified for. If you're 50 and wearing an outfit for a 15 year old or an 80 year old woman, you're not going to be considered suddenly appropriately dressed just because you're wearing a dress for a 50 year old woman.

[Tania75]

I'm sure, like many other people, we see people who really don't have the body for the clothes that they are wearing, male and female, CD, or whatever, I just let them go and do their thing, and if they feel great, then all power to them.

[Maid_Marion]

Does it seem like something becomes appropriate just because it looks good on some celebrity who gets to spend all their time looking good? Never mind that most of the population can't do that?

[Macey]

Concerning how the judgement of others affect us, I am reminded of an old Aesop fable.

There was a middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair. He had two girlfriends, one of whom was twenty years his junior and the other was twenty years his senior. When he spent time with the younger, she was in the habit of plucking out his grey hairs, a few at a time, to make him look more of a match to her age. The elder woman often did the same, but plucking out his dark hairs. Eventually, he was bald.

[Helen_Highwater]

It is true that amongst the general population there will be those who, no matter what we wear, will think we're incorrectly dressed. Those same folks will, if they see someone not of our community, who's garishly or guilty of outrageous style faux pas in their presentation, react much the same.

If in going out being read is of concern to you then if like me you're in your sixties dressing like a teenager who's on a night out with the girls while doing the food shopping is going to draw less than approving glances.

True there are GG's who's build doesn't lend itself to certain styles wearing them regardless. Even if they don't say it, folks will be thinking, "That doesn't suit her", and that's the point. Knowing what really suits you is a skill. It starts with the realisation that you most likely don't have the same figure as the gorgeous 18 year old you're lustful of. Dressing like her won't make you look like her.

Hence keep those clothes for you and the mirror. Going out requires a more sensible pragmatic approach. Yes you'll be guilty of conformism but as is written time and time again here and for good reason, if going out dress both time of day and age appropriately.

[Ceera]

What is “age appropriate” for a given person can depend a lot on apparent versus actual age, as well as mental versus actual age. Regardless of the actual or apparent age of the person, I will agree that if a certain outfit or wig does not look good on a person, they should reconsider wearing it in public. And I will also agree we are not doing many favors to refrain from politely, and preferably privately, telling a lady that what she is wearing is not a good look on her. Personally, I have no issues with someone politely telling me a given look is just not working, from their perspective. Even if I may disagree with their opinion.

That said... I am full time as a woman, I am 61, but others consistently state I look closer to 40 as a woman, and my ‘mental age’, as far as what I feel like internally, is closer to 27. My complexion is fairly free of wrinkles, and the skin on my legs and arms is firm and smooth. So I frequently wear clothes from Hot Topic - a store that caters mostly to ladies in their teens to 20’s - and most of the time, those outfits look quite good on me! So I wear what pleases me.

Personally, at this point in my life, I refuse to wear grey or grey-streaked wigs, or to dress like an ‘old lady’. There will come a time when my appearance won’t carry off such young clothing and hair styles, and when I can’t dance the night away with the same energy as a woman half my age. At that point, I may embrace my status as an elder, and show my grey, and ‘dress appropriately’. But until that day comes, my feminine side, who has had far fewer years given to her to enjoy life, will revel in my apparent youth, for as long as I can.

I will, however, also acknowledge that for many in our community, nothing short of reincarnation into their next life will make them look ‘appropriate’, in any sort of opposite-gender clothing. I honestly think they deserve a little more consideration. If they are comfortable, and wearing that outfit makes them happy, why detract from that happiness?

[Brandi Christine]

I think this mirrors what some cisgender women do, there are women out there in their 40s, 50s & 60's who dress as if they are in their 20's. Some can pull it off very well, some cannot. What is funny is the reactions of other women towards the ones who can pull it off are usually negative, while the reaction of men is typically "Hell Yea" when they see a sexily dressed woman who can pull it off whatever age she may be.

I wouldn't necessarily dress for going out (which I have never done in daylight anyway, yet…) like I dress for the pictures I post, but I also know women dress for men, not for other women… And if you got it, flaunt it!

[KatieGG]

I was going to post somthing similar to this, my husband tends to dress more like how girls did when we were in high school, which is when he really started dressing. He loves the mini skirt over jeans look, which I used to rock back in the day.

I always joke with him that its time to leave the junior section behind and start dressing like a big girl lol

[Sabrina133]

Dressing age inappropriate is a great way to get clocked. If you are trying to pass, then being conscientious of the way you dress is an important consideration. It doesn't mean you cant dress flirty - just be aware.

Having said that, if you are going to go to a place that openly welcomes CDers, then girl, wear what you want. Have fun with it.

[Asew]

KatieGG, I also started dressing in my teenage years and have been yearning to buy cargo skirts like I envied on the girls in high school (both a knee length and maxi length, and why are these not more available nowadays, cargo shorts are totally in style still, and weary of buying online for sizing variance of manufacturers).

[KatieGG]

At the end of the day wear what you like and feel comfortable in. Especially around the house obviously nobody will see. But I tell him people are more likely to notice the girl dressed like a 16 year old in 2007 lol.
We go to concerts a lot where he blends in a little more dressed like that, but I started buying him clothes more appropriate for a girl in her late 20s for when we go out. They still have a lot of fun and cute stuff he likes. Older doesnt have to mean boring.

[Vicky_Scot]

Myself, my wonderful wife and most of our female friends are about the same age range so it is easy for my to gauge what ladies around my age are wearing.

x x x

[Heather Anne]

I agree completely that any CD that is going out in public dressed as a women should be should dressed age appropriate. Pay attention to what women your age are wearing will give you a good idea what to wear. Also the venue where you are going. You would not wear a formal gown to go to a nightclub. Something goes when going shopping you would not wear really tall high heels. My goal when I go out in public is to blend in the best I can. If I were a working woman my entire wardrobe would appropriate to wear to work.

[Beverley Sims]

Any woman who goes out in public asmutton dressed up as lamb is open to ridicule.

I wear younger clothing most times but it is tops and pants and easy to get the right balance.

Most of my skirt hems are above the knee as I look dowdy in below knee dresses.

[GretchenM]

Personal preferences matter a lot in everyone's choice of attire. I am of the age appropriate, blending school of thought. A lot of people, even though they don't say anything, judge us based on how we look and behave - the image we project. And that plays into how much they support our freedom to express ourselves and what side of the fence they fall on with regard to opinions regarding mental illness. There are a lot of people that still think transgenderism is a mental illness - we know it isn't but they do and behavior that validates their thinking is a negative influence.

In my experience here in Denver, it is pretty rare to see a trans person who is not dressed fairly age appropriately. And it is pretty rare to see a GG who isn't dressed age appropriately. The general attitude here is blend in and look "normal" if you want to be accepted in that way. But others may have other ideas and want to be noticed and inappropriate dress is certainly a way to do that. I agree it is up to the person and what turns their wheels, but the trans community as a whole is trying to be accepted and embraced as just another variation in human diversity. If an observer sees you and concludes you are wacko that does factor into their opinion of trans people as a whole. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. That is negative that is not helpful. Do as you please, dress as you please, but remember everything has consequences, both good and bad. I believe if we want to be accepted we have to make an effort to be acceptable.

[Cheryl T]

Age appropriate, as has been said, depends not only on age, but on apparent age.
My wife always tells me I look about 45 when I'm actually somewhat older (not telling). Therefore I dress as other women in their 40's dress. I don't feel it's beneficial to dress as a 2 year old would since my purpose is to blend in and be accepted. Then again, if I was say 5'4", 120# I might dress younger than 40 (probably :) ), but I'm not and if I tried to pull off that look I'd be pegged immediately.
The same is true if you are not dressed for the venue. Midday shopping at the grocery store in a fancy dress, black stockings and high heel sandals screams "look at me" and you will not only be noticed, but you will be read.

In the privacy of our homes, anything goes. Dress like a little girl, a hooker, a maid, a bride, a ballet dancer or whatever. Just remember that unless you are trying to draw attention, look like you belong.

[alwayshave]

I dress age appropriate. And as a matter of fact, my wife tells me I commonly dress like a mother of the bride.

[Periwinkle]

Unless I'm doing cosplay, I tend to gravitate towards modest, usually vintage clothing. Shoot, even when cosplaying the most revealing thing I'll wear is a short skirt. So really, I tend to wear clothes that suit an older age most of the time. ^^'

[ToniG]

Age appropriate- And- Venue Appropriate ! Causes the least problems--draws least attn. Unless you ARE one that's looking for attn... In my case--wardrobe, hair, and style is chosen to "blend" as best as poss with the Senior GGs in my area. My area is filled with Senior Parks, and Leisure World is a mile so. of my complex. May wear "other things" at home---but when Out its age-appropriate casual wear to blend-in. Toni G..

[CynthiaD]

I've tried the "short and frilly" look and discovered I hated it. I discovered that I just wanted to look female, not like some teenager's fantasy. I can't say whether my dress is age-appropriate, but it probably is close. I choose outfits that make me look ordinary, because that's the impression I want to project: just an ordinary female.

I also don't feel comfortable criticizing other's choices. I admit that I don't like to see crossdressers who, intentionally or unintentionally make themselves look silly. To me, crossdressing isn't silly. I'm dead serious about it. But if you want to go out in hot pants, fishnet stockings and spike heels, with a full beard, more power to you.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I find that if I use a GREY Wig---I look my age, AND I look more "Realistic".-------But since I do not go out, It does not matter, and dressing YOUNGER is more FUN I can look 20 years or more younger with Darker hair. So I tend to dress with the shorter skirts and dark hair, usually. My grey wig is for other "Disguises" and not (Usually) my CDing.

[DeeDeeB]

I dress as I feel is appropriate to the situation, not necessarily my age (72 for those who care). I get looks whether I'm dressed in a long skirt, a mini, or (men's) dress pants. I try to assume it is because I look fabulous. Sometimes I can convince myself. Bottom line is - if you feel good about yourself and your appearance, just smile, be confident, and love the attention. Be proud of who you are, and be the best you that you can be.

Dee :fairy1:

[t-girlxsophie]

A lot of my dressing at home fulfills any need to dress younger(within reason) and tbh my wife kinda likes it so that's all good.

In my younger years starting out I thought I should wear skirts all the time,was many years before I ever wore trousers or Denims,and now although there's still places and times to wear skirts. I Feel that I blend in more in denims and ankle boots,nice top or sweater combinations.

Having said all that I'm not quite ready to adopt grey wig and dowdy elderly clothing,don't know if I never will

Sophie

[Georgia K]

I've never liked when someone would say that women over there looks like she's wearing her daughters clothes . I mean who cares if there happy more power to them I say

[pamela7]

i've not looked, let alone posted, over here for a very long time, but I spotted this thread title, and feel my life these last few years as an out TS has given me some new perspective. Yes, everyone ought to be able to wear whichever clothing they like. And nonetheless, most TS would seek to dress age-appropriate in most situations, because they are seeking to live life as an authentic woman. But ...

The CD'er is free to indulge in self-expression. The CD'er can revel in knowing this is their "play time", so you should dress it up girls, and be outrageous, because that's part of the whole point.

[Teresa]

Kaley,
First of all we don't know what age group you are talking about as you don't reveal your age .

Personally I possibly wear clothes for a slightly younger age group but chosen with care , I accept figure shape does play an important part .

As I'm full time in my new home town , I had to think hard about what to wear for everyday , hopefully chosing the right style of wig and being careful how little makeup to wear . GGs who do push the boat out do stand out but it's not often you see one strutting around in heels especially in the supermarket , 3" heeled boots are possibly the limit and most wear flats .

I must admit it's the part I really enjoy putting the outfits together .

As to the question of letting people find out their mistakes or helping them out , it's a tricky one ! In male mode we would hardly if ever tell another guy he looks a **** , in femme mode we all strive for a different identity , what we think suits us, the problem is we have a huge choice of styles and colours , we can wear a skirt or a dress or resort to jeans / trousers . I keep a careful watch on GGs to see what they wear and how they wear it for the given weather and time of the year .

One interesting point is many GGs said I dress stylishly , I'm still not sure what they mean exactly but sometimes they may look to us for some ideas . How many times have some of us had a GG tell us they really like an item of clothing and where did you get it . I have this happen several times when trying items on in the changing rooms or at my social meetings .

Pamela,
Yes in basic terms knowing when it's " Playtime " or " Realtime " .

I have to admit it is more fun dressing as a woman when it's appropriate to have fun , slipping on a lovely gown to go out for an evening , whether it be a ball or a nice meal out , feels far more special .

[Connie D50]

After 12 years on this site when I first read this post I was like this could get ugly. I pleased to see it for the most part it hasn't I do of course feel to each her own. I want to thank my wife in that she would never let me leave the house not dressed nice (I have to admit that means age appropriate). I do the same for her that doesn't mean you can't look very stylish (even hot my wife does all the time).

[Krisi]

If you want to go out in public and not make a spectacle of yourself, you should dress your age. There's and expression I am fond of: "Mutton dressed as lamb." Same thing for if you're at home and want to look in the mirror and see a female. Dress your age.

I'm not suggesting that you have to wear a sack dress, I'm suggesting dressing like your wife or sister dresses. The object is not to try to wear the shortest, tightest miniskirt you can find or the highest spike heels. Leave these things for the teenagers ot hookers. You can look "fashionable" and appropriate at the same time. And if you're going out in public, you'll have a better chance of passing as a woman.

[sometimes_miss]

Personally, at this point in my life, I refuse to wear grey or grey-streaked wigs, or to dress like an ‘old lady’.
^this. It's the same with many women that I've known over the years; as they get older, they think it's appropriate to look 'old'. So they actually aim for that look. I don't understand why anyone would actually want to look old.

Dressing age inappropriate is a great way to get clocked.
Dressing age appropriate will only increase the delay of getting clocked by a couple of seconds; the vast majority of us are going to get clocked anyway. We're rarely fooling anyone, other than the 1% of us who truly can pass.

Older doesnt have to mean boring.
It doesn't HAVE to, but it usually does. I see it most often due to marriage; once the impetus to be attractive isn't as much of a priority, it's easy to jettison the extra work needed to appear young and pretty. I'm not saying that men don't have the same failing, but men are more judged by our ability to earn money, than in our appearance. A 40 year old guy who's financially successful but who's homely and wearing poorly fitting clothes will still have many women interested in him; a comparable woman will have many fewer potential male suitors.

My goal when I go out in public is to blend in
Pretty much no one 'blends in'. It's a euphemism for passing, and few are able to accomplish that. Or maybe you're thinking that if you're far enough away that others might not notice that you're actually a male, as quickly? Well at that distance, they wouldn't notice you weren't a woman if you were wearing fancier clothes, either.

Thinking that we're suddenly unnoticable because we're not wearing more flamboyant female attire is a myth brought on by the pink fog.

Too all of you who have somehow managed to convince yourself that you want to look like Tootsie or Mrs. Doubtfire, I congratulate you. I wish I could do it. But I'm unable to feel good at all, while looking like that. And feeling good is why I crossdress in the first place.

[Stephanie47]

I do not recommend supporting anyone unconditionally. There are always consequences for one's actions. Some may be unintended, but, that's life. I am a 'mature' person as far as age (71). My choice of attire is 100% dresses. All hit at the knee, +/- an inch or two. I think tasteful. I do agree if you want to experiment with fantasy in your own home..fine. Outside the home? You alone will bear the consequences of your actions.

[Micki_Finn]

Ceera is 100% correct. (And are you serious? 60’s? I always thought 40s too!) Anyway, I digress. Some of us are blessed with genetics that allow us to pass for significantly younger than we are. The only “age inappropriate” outfits I have a problem with are dressers that try to look like underage girls. There’s a bit of an “ick” factor there.

[Miss V]

I'd be lying if I said that I don't cringe a little when I see a middle-aged CD in public dressed like a teenage girl.

People are free to dress how they feel. But if you wish to be more accepted by the general public, then dressing how a GG woman would at your age makes you look FAR more passable and presentable.

But like I said, dress how you like. But don't be shocked when people point and mock.

(Obviously you can go as wild as you like in your home or a specific venues :battingeyelashes:)

[Rhonda Jean]

i've not looked, let alone posted, over here for a very long time, but I spotted this thread title, and feel my life these last few years as an out TS has given me some new perspective. Yes, everyone ought to be able to wear whichever clothing they like. And nonetheless, most TS would seek to dress age-appropriate in most situations, because they are seeking to live life as an authentic woman. But ...

The CD'er is free to indulge in self-expression. The CD'er can revel in knowing this is their "play time", so you should dress it up girls, and be outrageous, because that's part of the whole point.

Even though I think this was intended as a mild jab at crossdressers, I don't totally disagree. Not that I think it should be a free-for-all. I'm WAY too judgmental for that. But, we can often take ourselves WAY too seriously. I've never done too much of the club wear, night out with the girls stuff. Mainly because I wasn't going to a club or out with the girls. A couple of times a year I'd give in to the wearing something too short, too tight, too everything... just because it was so fun for a short time! I think women do the same thing, actually. Even "authentic" women. Five or so years ago I stopped doing it. I knew the time had come. In 2018 I allowed myself that simple indulgence again a couple of times, and I'll probably do it again in 2019. We (including myself) can get so hung up on being authentic that we forget that there's nothing wrong with having fun with it. I won't do a steady diet of it. I'm usually in skinny jeans or leggings. But when I get the urge to wear a miniskirt, I'm going to do it!

[pamela7]

hey Rhonda Jean, it was no jab, not at all, quite the opposite. I was saying that CD'ers really are able and open to express however they wish; more so than TS who have the desire to fit, pass and be a woman of their demographic.

[Nikki A.]

If I dressed age appropriate and to blend, I'd be wearing polyester pull up pants to church and sensible shoes. To dress up and wear pants does nothing for me. However I do wear knee length or longer dresses and skirts, nothing too low cut. Appropriate and classy is the look I go for. I'd like to incorporate leggings into the mix, but I need to find a tunic to provide a little coverage in the front.
I have also seen some instances where my first thought was "Did she look in the mirror before she left the house?". But that was for both CDs ans GGs, I do understand that sometimes it is that it may be an issue of not having the right clothing or a limited selection. At least make sure that it fits correctly, and if you're happy with your look, more power to you.

[Jill Mansfield]

I have toned down how I dress dramatically as I have matured.I like to dress to blend in and wear what is most appropriate to my surroundings .
But while at home I can still be that 20 something girl in the 5 inch heels and the way too short mini skirt .;)

[t-girlxsophie]

CDs really aren't able to express how they wish or else it would be acceptable to dress as hooker,or in evening gown doing the weekly shop.As a Crossdresser I'd rather not be the focus of ridicule in that way.

Sophie

[Rhonda Jean]

hey Rhonda Jean, it was no jab, not at all, quite the opposite. I was saying that CD'ers really are able and open to express however they wish; more so than TS who have the desire to fit, pass and be a woman of their demographic.

My apologies, Pamela. Already had my guard up.

[Tahoegurl]

I tend to dress a little conservative...i have been referred to as a hot soccer mom...😂. But I think the outfit needs to be appropriate for the occasion, well fitting and of good taste. But it is the whole point of blending in with what other women are wearing where you live. Fashion is a personal choice...i love clothes and I like to enjoy the experience. Have fun with what you are doing and it will show through . Cheers.

[Cheshire girl]

As lots of the posts have said wear what you like but if you don't want to get stared at dress appropriately for your age and the surroundings. I went clothes shopping today in a busy shopping centre with an older female friend. I was going to wear a new silk midi dress but my wife said I would have been over-dressed.I took her advice and I felt confident and really enjoyed the day.

[AngelaYVR]

Eventually you’ll find your own style. Just remember that you can be dressed appropriately and still not blend in. Me, I’m always dressed perfectly - everyone else is underdressed! ;)

[Maid_Marion]

Don't a lot of people dress to be stared at for something like a Taylor Swift concert?
If only 2% do that you still have 1000 fans dressing outrageously.

[docrobbysherry]

What do I think of people like u that disapprove of this 75 y/o's outfits?:straightface:

I think you're jealous!:devil:

300225

[Helen_Highwater]

"Men don't tell each other if they're dressed badly". They do in my circle of mates. You'll get a remark something along the lines of, "Who dressed you, Stevie Wonder?" or "Are you wearing that for a bet?".

[Debs]

I am in Blackpool for a few days dressed in a friendly bed and breakfast, while im out shopping during the day, I shall dress sensible and blend in, but when Im in the b and b and only going down to the bar and in the safety of the premises, I shall be wearing shorter skirts and tighter tops !!!!

[kimdl93]

I’m very conscious that I’m not a 20 something. I make choices that maturing women will wear. I also tend towards casual.

[t-girlxsophie]

Debs,Theres a photograph (remember them) of me in the Gynway playing pool in micro mini,sparkly halter top and leather knee high boots,wasn't for stepping out in,but sure was fun to wear in the b&b

[Beverley Sims]

I say if it looks good on you, wear it.

[Helen_Highwater]

Dressing age appropriate will only increase the delay of getting clocked by a couple of seconds; the vast majority of us are going to get clocked anyway. We're rarely fooling anyone, other than the 1% of us who truly can pass.


Lexi,

There's flaws in your thinking IMHO. Wear a clown suit in a busy street and 90% will notice you. Dress like the rest and there's no reason for folks to look your way. Yes some will see and read you. Most won't have a reason to look so don't.




Pretty much no one 'blends in'. It's a euphemism for passing, and few are able to accomplish that. Or maybe you're thinking that if you're far enough away that others might not notice that you're actually a male, as quickly? Well at that distance, they wouldn't notice you weren't a woman if you were wearing fancier clothes, either.

Thinking that we're suddenly unnoticable because we're not wearing more flamboyant female attire is a myth brought on by the pink fog.


I can't think of anyone who posts who advocates blending over passing suggesting that in doing so we become unnoticeable. It is however a sliding scale. At one end there's those who are so badly presented (and I'm excluding MAIDs from this) it's immediately obvious that they're male. This will go right through to those rare few who are 99.9% passable. Choosing what you wear plays a significant part in reaching the higher end of the scale. It perhaps more importantly impacts upon just how folks interact with you. Dress like a 17 year old while in your sixties, and with the figure of a sixty year old, isn't going to win you any admirers. To the contrary.



Too all of you who have somehow managed to convince yourself that you want to look like Tootsie or Mrs. Doubtfire, I congratulate you. I wish I could do it. But I'm unable to feel good at all, while looking like that. And feeling good is why I crossdress in the first place.

Mrs Doubtfire or Tootsie are styles you'll never see me emulate. I wear clothes that fit well, look stylish, colour co-ordinate and are suited to a woman who's taken time to present well while out and about without being overly dressed. And yes I feel good when I look in the mirror and take that out on the road.

[t-girlxsophie]

Does this phenomenon of Pink Fog really exist,never seen it mentioned anywhere but on the pages of CD.com

Sophie

[Glenda58]

I laugh that age appropriate dressing why I'm not gender appropriate. I'm 71 but dress like I'm 50. So who cares but me.

[mriley]

I agree. who cares but you

[Teresa]

Helen,
I was going to comment more on Lexi's replies but this question was asked in the open M/F section , it's not fair to say just for crossdressers but I'm finding the forum choices are narrowing . Are her comments fair ? If so which sections do we head for , I'm not NB but that section is becoming more restricted to that group , I consider myself in social transition so I'm not openly welcomed in the TS section .

If you dress everyday and head out into the RW the arguments about blending and passing and most of the other labels fall by the wayside . As you know it means dressing approprite in clothes, hair (wig) makeup , it doesn't always mean dressing like grandma or skirts round your backside and killer heels .

[Janet Murray]

I always try to dress age appropriate, but, I also like to wear pantyhose, which is a no no today.....I think, and feel, that you should wear what ever you feel comfortable with, AND makes you happy. It's hard enough going out dressed age appropriate, or just dressed period. If you have the courage to wear what "turns you on" than I say go for it....What ever you wear going out is a plus, and ad's to making this normal in our society, so why would you want to judge or condemn......

[AmandaJean]

Here's my two cents on the subject...

Doesn't it depend on your intention and your circumstances to what age you decide to dress?

For instance not every crossdresser goes out in public. Although from this thread it looks as though the number of stay at home crossdressers is smaller than I thought!

Personally I would have a tough time "passing" going out in public. But posting photos is fine. Why? I'm six - four in bare feet, have a large Adam's apple, man face features and love wearing heels (size 14!). I'm slim so in photos it looks proportionate, so dressing in age appropriate clothing would not be helpful or allow me to "pass". I truly stand out in a crowd!

On the other hand if you love younger clothing and you feel comfortable going out like that. I say more power to you. Sure you'll get a lot of looks and people will judge. That's really the way of the world.

Personally I'm more uncomfortable with a MIAD out in public than an inappropriately dressed crossdresser. But hey, that's me!

[FrannGurl]

Anyone can dress how they want, but for me I feel more comfortable and more myself in age appropriate dress, although I do like to look nice. It's usually womens jeans/leggings and flats with a sweater or blouse, which are things most women in a wide age range wear daily. I have a slender shape and like how I look in jeans or leggings,but don't wear real short dresses when I wear them, in fact I like the longer summer dresses the best. At 56 I think I would look pretty silly ( and probably creepy) dressed as a teenager or in something frilly, but that's just me and to each their own

[Maid_Marion]

I've always gotten positive feedback from wearing shorts. As recently as last summer. So why not flaunt it while I still can?

[Wildaboutheels]

Apparently, this guy never got that memo?

[Shannon michelle]

A comment in another thread made me think about this. Look at how your SO dresses and dress similarly. I do this without even realizing I guess after 25 years of shopping with her we have similar styles. we often match with out even planning it even when I am in Boy Mode.

I have also started following some style blogs on instagram one for over forty and one for over fifty women.

SM

[Krisi]

What do I think of people like u that disapprove of this 75 y/o's outfits?:straightface:

I think you're jealous!:devil:

300225

If you're going to wear a mask and a silicone body suit, you can dress whatever age you want. For those of us going out in our own skin, dressing our age is more appropriate.

I'll never forget being at a dance and seeing my friend with his date. I first saw her from a distance and she looked "hot" with long blonde hair and a denim miniskirt. Then my friend brought her over and introduced me to her. Up close, she had to be at least sixty years old with a face that would stop a clock. What's important is that everything matches. If your face and skin look a certain age, your clothing should also. Most real women know that. This one didn't.

[Majella St Gerard]

Dressing age appropriate is total bullshit, there are too many factors to take into account. The physical effects of age (deep lines on face), weight, height your attitude and personality. Now I'm 56 and you all know I dress "younger" than my age and I'm known to wear quite revealing and sexy outfits. I also dress for the location. I do not dress trashy when going to vanilla establishments but in a nightclub or similar place, I'm definitely dressing to be seen. It's one thing if you can pull off the look (I go over every outfit many times to make sure I'm good) and another if you look like an overweight ex-lineman with a face that looks like a dried river bed, it ain't gonna be pretty. Just know what looks good on you and do it.

[Celee]

I think it depends on the situation. If you’re at the store in miniskirt and stilettos (Walmart) and you’re over 30 then no. If you want to go to a nightclub then go for it but own it. if you are of a certain age be prepared for the backlash if you are CD or GG

[Krisi]

Dressing age appropriate is total bullshit, ................


You are certainly welcome to have your own opinion, but calling other people's opinions "total bullshit" is a bit over the top. We all should be able to post our opinions without being insulted.

We come from all over the world and are each in different situations as well as having different goals concerning crossdressing. You have figured out what works for you (for now), but you have no right to apply it to other people that you don't even know.

[Cheshire girl]

Funny thing is that as I have got older I have actually got to like more mature ladies clothes and accessories. I am told my outfits are attractive. I gave up the short skirts years ago and love finding a classy outfit. Not quite twinsets yet but getting there. Shoes and heels are more sensible and comfortable now but still feminine. I especially like Artigiano, Joseph Ribkoff and Frank Lyman though I heed my wife’s gentle warnings not to go out looking like I’m going to a wedding!
Do whatever you please but take care when going out. Xxx

[ToniG]

You are certainly welcome to have your own opinion, but calling other people's opinions "total bullshit" is a bit over the top. We all should be able to post our opinions without being insulted.

We come from all over the world and are each in different situations as well as having different goals concerning crossdressing. You have figured out what works for you (for now), but you have no right to apply it to other people that you don't even know.

Krisi is correct. ALL of our sits are diff... Like I have posted---Senior GG works for me in the area that I live. So I Dress like them when Out. What I wear at home doesent matter. BTW---- have been sober since 1975 - so don't wear miniskirts or clubwear as haven't been in a bar/club since 1970s. IF I wore a short bodycon dress in the Walmart across from Leisure World--- wd be like waving a lit roadflare over my head. But I DO understand those that "need" the pantyhose & stillettos. Toni G..

[Crissy 107]

Krisi is correct, no need for that here.

[docrobbysherry]

Krisi, I know u like to take shots at folks sometimes. But, you're often wrong or rite for the wrong reasons! :heehee:
My photo u commented on is my natural figure with the same forms and pads u wear! I look exactly like that when I go out. Sans mask! :battingeyelashes:

If you're going to wear a mask and a silicone body suit, you can dress whatever age you want. For those of us going out in our own skin, dressing our age is more appropriate. -----------------------------------
.
This my body suit. I rarely wear it out. When I do, it's to private, costume events!:daydreaming:

U can dress however u like if I can do the same?

300456

[Aunt Kelly]

Dressing age appropriate is total bullshit...

So... not being an exhibitionist, who is trying to deliberately attract attention is "total bullshit"?

Right. Got it. Thanks for the tip.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Kaley,
Dressing according to a given situation may be a better way to put it, rather than referring to it as dressing age appropriate. Yeah sure, if it’s an at home thing, anything goes. But if you’re planning on heading out? Some thought should be put into the outfit you plan on wearing to wherever you may be going. I’ve kinda refrained from posting here because this all seems a bit obvious, but then we all make mistakes. Hopefully we become aware of those errors, and learn something from them.
As far as dissing Majella over her BS comment? I think her take on this was not intended to question anyone’s opinion, but more likely in regard to the whole concept of “appropriate”. Simply put...what’s good for one is not good for all.
Dressing to be “seen” at a club? That seems perfectly normal to me. Club wear pushing a shopping cart??? Could someone please point me in the direction of this store?
Much Love,
Kristyn

[JaytoJillian]

When it comes to selecting clothing, I never think about how old it makes me feel I only consider how good it makes me feel.

[Majella St Gerard]

Krisi, Did you stop reading after the bullshit line? I didn't call your opinion bullshit I called the concept of age appropriate dressing Bullshit. Try reading and comprehending the whole post before you rag on someone. Have a nice day.

[Sherrii]

Clint Eastwood said in the Playboy Interview he did many years ago "Some people are old before their time because they think old." If you are "thinking young" and enjoy it well wear what you want. If going out in public maybe you want to blend in a little though. So maybe tone it down if you are going out, but at home dress how you like. Sherrii

[Shayna]

I don't know about age appropriate, but as I've gotten older I've become more comfortable with simple looks - Oversized sweater with leggings and a boot with a chunky heel, or a simple floral print dress. I'll never pass, so it's not about trying yo be age appropriate. I just feel more comfortable not being as sexual in my choices as I was when I was younger.

[Beverley Sims]

Likewise I dress smartly and in clothing that represents me at least ten years younger.

I look dowdy in a longer dress with sleeves.

Mostly something that is reasonably fitting and smart.

Skater skirts are for around home but just above the knee suits me.

In the winter Jeans or other such trousers and knee hi boots with a heel.

Spikes are needed for icy sidewalks tho'.

It was unfortunate that most could not read the complete post and take it in, I am referring to the one by Magella.

Back to the subject and let's not squabble. :-)

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe when I stop being interested in sex I'll stop trying to look sexy? :daydreaming:

But, at 75 I'm just not old enuff for that yet!:devil:

[penny lace]

I dress way to young but that is because I am allowing the inner me to display and inside I'm still 20!

[Bobbi46]

Sorry folks I've just picked up on this thread so "age appropriate dressing" definately! for example if you are say 60 yrs old dressing up like a 20 something ready for a night out clubbing but instead going to the local shops dressed like that is not on, one would stick out like a boil on the end of ones nose, so yes I think age appropriate dressing is very relavent just as is dressing for a particular situation is relavent as well, mind the deviding line can be very narrow at times.
Near me is a married woman maybe about 55 ish in age and she insists in wearing bottom hugging mini skirts, does she look right? no is she dressing for her age most certainly not. I never fail to see umpteen woman dressed in things they think they look good in but in all matter of fact they do not. I believe in dressing to look right and blending in as best as is possible

[Krisi]

Yes, a woman who tries to dress younger than she really is will be noticed and ridiculed. When I was working we had a contractor's representative who was like that. Probably fifty years old but dressed as if she was twenty. Everybody laughed at her behind her back.

[Sherrii]

Penny lace, you are "thinking young". See my post no. 80. Sherrii

[phili]

I've always been very sympathetic to older women who dress 'too young'- because it is obvious they do it for the same reasons I do- to project youthful, active, and sexually inviting in a modest way, and the corollary- specifically not settled, blending, too old for the game, etc.

I was only sorry when they employed bad makeup to simulate the youthful look, rather than to let their real faces show the beauty of their soul and let the clothes reflect the role they want to play in life. I can't think of a reason why an 'old' or wrinkled face should be used as a reason to exclude someone from the life they wish to lead. Of course, I make the same argument for a specifically male face.

Gender messaging is a two part event, though, and if we have a hostile or critical audience for our presentation, it is no fun. I understand that everyone is trained to judge each other by pop culture norms, but it just keeps artificial barriers up against those who can't compete on those terms.

[Stacy Darling]

I was hit with "his new shorts are what a young girl would wear" in counselling this week.

I'm thin athletic? my fn male shorts are shorter than my femme, and my tops are quite thin.

Being judged on age appropriate dressing should really be a thing of the past, as this will come back to bite!
"Is it the parent telling the child how to dress, or the child telling the parent"

How short are my shorts?
Comfortably short!
Stacy!

[Jean 103]

Really I just turned 63 what should I wear?

I can remember when I was I high school they threw out the dress code.

I live in the real world. I get feedback from my friends GGs.

I wear tight fitting clothes because I am thin and it works for my body. Something that looks good on me may not on like my best friend, her style doesn’t’ work for me, the same goes for my roommate and others.

Some don’t like anything I wear, while others get turned on by it. The two extremes, most are somewhere in the middle, they like ME. It is not just the clothes, but who you are.

For those who agree with this nonsense I have a question. “Why do you want to put people in a box?”

I think it is funny that the people you would think should be more tolerant of others are like the most judgmental.

[Alice B]

I am 76 and what I wear is only my decision based upon how it makes me feel. What someone else decides to wear is their decision and I keep my opinions to myself.

[Maid_Marion]

A baby T looks like a great way for an exhibitionist to show off their flat belly. It is a short, form fitting T shirt that exposes the midriff!

[Rachelakld]

I was at the garden centre with wife 2 days ago.
Wife spotted a woman appearing to be late 60's and commented she's wearing my dress.
Okay she did have tights on underneath, but probably better legs than mine anyway.

300891

My 16 daughter says about my more "age appropriate" wig - if your imitating a female, why not imitate a young one.

[Brandi Christine]

I agree with Kristyn "Dressing according to a given situation may be a better way to put it" The pictures I tend to put up are fantasy pictures I take at home, and unless I were going to a CD themed club (That's my fantasy but not very likely to happen at this time) I would not dress like that in public, but if that is what floats your boat more power to you... I've been in situations where there is a GG who might be fifty but dresses as if she were thirty, and she gets noticed... Isn't that what she wants? I also had a job in a retirement home, there is a woman there in her eighties, and she has long beautiful blonde hair, I told her she looks fabulous and that was the truth... One of my goals it to go out in daylight this year for the first time, I will be dressed cute but not overly sexy, but definitely not dowdy...

[AllieSF]

I am a firm believer in live and let live, which includes dress as you want and I will dress how I want. I have seen cis and trans people dress terribly, and that is OK with me. Sometimes out of place styles catch on and keep our fashion styles forever changing, including our own wardrobes. If you've got it, flaunt it. If you don't have it, fake it!!

[Jaymees22]

What do I know I'm a senior who shops in the juniors dept..
It all depends if I'm trying to blend in out in public or staying at home and dressing for my own amusement.
Sometimes I dress a little over the top going to a support group meeting.
I think it should be up to the individual what they wear and feel comfortable in. We are not the fashion police...

[Maid_Marion]

None of us are getting any younger. Now may be the best time to get in shape to wear not so conservative summer apparel while you can still look good.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Rather than dressing appropriate to my age, I can believe that my age is appropriate for how I dress.

[ToniG]

Age-appropriate & Venue-appropriate have advantages. Called Ma-am on Sat--first one of 2019. Had Senior GG coming at me on the sidewalk, so stepped aside into a driveway. She blurbed "Wont Run You Over, Ma-am" as she went by. Guess I was "passable" enough! :) Gray maxidress, Blk Sweater, Gray short-hair Wig ( looked like the cart-lady s hair). Passed-by several folks at the bank==no one seemed to pay any attn. My "senior-style" worked again. Can Guarantee that IF I was Out for 2 hrs in a miniskirt & pantyhose ( Not worn by GGs here) -- that my 'results" would be different!!! Dress As You Like---but be reminded that the "where & when" factors can determine whether you get the "clock & mock" or not. Toni G..

[sometimes_miss]

I'd be lying if I said that I don't cringe a little when I see a middle-aged CD in public dressed like a teenage girl.
Why? How does it affect your life? She's just being who she is.


But like I said, dress how you like. But don't be shocked when people point and mock.
and

I'd rather not be the focus of ridicule in that way.
If you think by dressing age appropriate, no one is going to ridicule a crossdresser for dressing up as a female, you're sadly mistaken. They might not hoot and hollar, point and stare, but the ridicule is going on behind your back. We're still not accepted as anything normal by the vast majority of the population.


Does this phenomenon of Pink Fog really exist,never seen it mentioned anywhere but on the pages of CD.com
Where else would it be discussed? It's specific to us. And, it's just a kind term that we use here. The rest of the world just refers to us as being delusional. And THAT term is discussed in plenty of other places. As in, 'He thinks nobody notices he's dressed in his wife's outfit? Is he delusional?' The general population does not use the nice, kind term 'pink fog'. In fact, they almost always use the bad one; that we're crazy.


Lexi, There's flaws in your thinking IMHO. Wear a clown suit in a busy street and 90% will notice you. Dress like the rest and there's no reason for folks to look your way. Yes some will see and read you. Most won't have a reason to look so don't.
It doesn't take much, and people notice things in their peripheral vision far more than you'd think; that's all it takes for them to take a second, more critical gaze, and BAM! You're clocked. Look at all those people that claim to have spotted something 'out of the corner of their eye' even though there's nothing there. Unless you have every mannerism perfect, if you're not passable, people will notice. They may not say anything, but they will notice. The best most of us can hope for, is that they won't be bothered enough to say or do anything.

Dress like a 17 year old while in your sixties, and with the figure of a sixty year old, isn't going to win you any admirers. To the contrary.
We're (old crossdressers) not going to win admirers no matter what we wear. I don't think I've ever heard, or anyone else has ever heard, 'Wow, what a great looking old crossdresser! Good thing she's dressed age appropriate or she'd look ridiculous'.


And yes I feel good when I look in the mirror and take that out on the road.
And so do the people who you might think are dressed age inappropriately, so why do you get to be right, and them wrong?


Although from this thread it looks as though the number of stay at home crossdressers is smaller than I thought!
A sample size of 100 on a crossdressing forum, is hardly enough to define how the majority of crossdressers behave. It never ceases to amaze me, at how many people think that the ideas expressed on this forum accurately describe that of the general population. We're a group of people with at LEAST one aberrant personality trait.


A comment in another thread made me think about this. Look at how your SO dresses and dress similarly.
That would never have worked. Sadly, my ex wife dressed like most guys do. Loose fitting t shirts and asexual style pants oh, 99% of the time. She wasn't exactly a girly girl, and didn't want one for a husband, either, apparently.


When it comes to selecting clothing, I never think about how old it makes me feel I only consider how good it makes me feel.
^Right on!


I dress way to young but that is because I am allowing the inner me to display and inside I'm still 20!
Same here. When I consider how I sometimes feel like I'm supposed to be a girl, I feel, well, sort of 'suspended in time' as that person I was as an adolescent, forever waiting to become that 14 year old girl that I had really believed I would become. Just because I now know it was impossible all along, doesn't stop the feeling from being there, ever present to some degree. Although there's always at least some tiny amount of psychological discomfort from it, at least it's not the crippling GID that a lot of TG folks have to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of very bad, intense GID days in the past. But they're few and far between these days, as I understand why it's happening to me.


I never fail to see umpteen woman dressed in things they think they look good in but in all matter of fact they do not.
They dress that way for the same reason we wear girl clothes. Because it feels good.

I believe in dressing to look right and blending in as best as is possible
Based upon your own idea of what 'looks right'. We each get to decide what that is. For me, it's a plain white button down top and a plaid skirt. with quite long, straight, 'schoolgirl hair'. I didn't get to choose feeling like this. If I could get rid of it, I would. But in the meantime, I'll dress as that 14 year old girl that the protons, neutrons and perhaps bouncing electrons in my head are telling me that I am.


Yes, a woman who tries to dress younger than she really is will be noticed and ridiculed. When I was working we had a contractor's representative who was like that. Probably fifty years old but dressed as if she was twenty. Everybody laughed at her behind her back.
If you actually think that no one's laughing at us behind our backs just because we're wearing 'age appropriate' women's clothing, well, have I got news for you!


Being judged on age appropriate dressing should really be a thing of the past, as this will come back to bite!
Absolutely, Stacy Darling!


For those who agree with this nonsense I have a question. “Why do
you want to put people in a box?”
<snip>
I think it is funny that the people you would think should be more tolerant of others are like the most judgmental.
Well said. I don't get it, either.

Maybe the best one:

My 16 daughter says about my more "age appropriate" wig - if your imitating a female, why not imitate a young one.
What a great sentiment! I think I can speak for a lot of us wacky folks when I write, tell her thank you from all of us 'age inappropriate' crossdressers. The older I get, the more that the fewer times I get to feel young and really happy, are when I get to dress like the pretty girl I always wanted to be. It just feels so good.


I think it should be up to the individual what they wear and feel comfortable in. We are not the fashion police...
Unfortunately, plenty of people think that they are, and it's kind of sad that so many of them are right here, criticizing those of us for not dressing how they think we should. We used to call them busybodies. I don't know what the politically correct term is for them, nowadays.

[Patience]

I think it’s not so much what’s appropriate for one’s age, but what’s appropriate for the venue.

If a dresser's goal is to go out, their best bet is to dress in a way that’ll be in line with what other folks are wearing. Once that’s achieved, the question is: does it look good or not? If those two requirements aren’t fulfilled, lack of age appropriateness is just compounding a bigger problem.

Of course, what folks wear at home when they’re alone or in the company of consenting partners is their business.

[Angela Marie]

It all depends what you are comfortable with. I like clothing that will accentuate my body. Obviously at 64 i'm not going to dress like a 15 year old I see nothing wrong with a stylish outfit regardless of age.

[MonicaPVD]

I realize that this forum brings together people with a very diverse set of life experiences and perceptions. However, it's getting old to read thread after thread about dressing in age-appropriate gear. You should wear what makes you feel happy, comfortable or complete. What others think is irrelevant at every single level. This is why I truly hate the term "passable". There is no passable. There is no age-appropriate. There is only what makes you feel good about yourself.

[sometimes_miss]

it's getting old to read thread after thread about dressing in age-appropriate gear.
Everything old is new again.Virtually every topic has been covered many times. Read through the older threads, and you'll find that this is true. How many 'age appropriate' threads do you think are here? 20? 30? I guess about maybe three per year. I never went back and actually counted. But the old threads are all locked, so when noobies want to ask something, there's no way they can, other than to start another thread. It's sort of akin to raising children; as each one grows, they ask the same questions. So instead, we have crossdressers come here and learn as they go. That's why we have to keep responding to the same questions, over and over, to help the new folks who come here. Of course, all the different opinions get stated all over again, so there's support for however you feel. This is a feel good site for crossdressers, after all.

And hopefully, we help each other, and the more experienced ones don't get old and cranky, like me.

Grumble grumble grumble. Snarl.

[MonicaPVD]

Everything old is new again.Virtually every topic has been covered many times.

Ok,ok, good point. I think I meant comments in general, not just threads. In any event, I'm all for wearing whatever you want to wear out in public.

[Alice B]

If it makes them happy it is OK with me. Who am I to judge another's taste or their fantasy

[suzanne]

Because I am closer to 60 years old than 50, I have a tendency to apply the age brakes. My wife thinks I should be conservative as well. She has told me quite clearly that she prefers me in a skirt rather than a dress, and longer ones over shorter. But then friends that know me tell me it's poppycock.

About 5 years ago, I went to my favorite dress shop wearing a knee length animal print skirt with leggings, wedges and a top with cardigan. Fairly conservative, really. A young SA, about twenty, came up and raved about my outfit, saying "I had that exact same skirt and word it until it fell apart." My thought was "Oh crap. I'm dressing like a twenty year old. Not good" The other ladies reassured me, saying, "Our clothes are mature and classy, not aimed at young girls, so she's dressing older. Your look is right on for your age. Youthful but not young."

At other places, they tell me "You have beautiful legs. So if you've got them, go ahead and wear your skirts short." I won't go with a full blown micro mini skirt, but 3 inches above the knee still feels like an good choice at my age. I watch what professional are wearing in their late 30s or 40s and try for that kind of look.

[MsEva]

Yes, age appropriate as well. I even got my first age appropriate wig to match my hair color, I have been graying since college. Now almost totally white. So my new wig (which was approved by my dear wife) is the same color as my natural head. Sheesh! I am even wearing a pantsuit that was sort of willed to me after she passed, I kind of look like her.