Why Do You Crossdress??

[deebra]

Is it you would rather be a woman and wearing women's clothes makes you feel like you are a woman?
Women's clothes look, fit and feel much nicer than men's and you don't necessarily want to be a woman?
Do they make you feel sexy; skimpy, soft, colorful panties, bras that project female breasts, hose, short skirts and heels, makeup, walking, moving about and setting as a woman??

Me I would like to be a 20 something pretty, well built woman and I would enjoy all of it.

Why do you crossdress?

[Jean 103]

I have pretty much given up trying to answer this question. I always end up because I like it.

[Patience]

I crossdress to express my feminine side.

I also find women’s clothes less boring than men’s.

[Krisi]

Because I like to.

Seriously, I doubt that any of us knows why we dress in women's clothes, wear wigs, breast forms and padded bottoms. We can guess of course and we can try to justify it but in the end, we don't know the reason why.

[NancySue]

Question 1: No
Question 2: Absolutely!
Question 3: Absolutely!
Question 4: Because I want to, have to, and it’s enjoyments.

[Robertacd]

Why ask why?

The answers are as varied as people and everyone has their own reason some have no reason.

Personally I don't really know "why", and since accepting myself I have long since given up on that question.

[Cheryl T]

That question plagued me for too many years.
I've given up wondering, worrying and stressing over it. It's just a part of me and always will be.

[Ronnie38]

I do it because i like to feel pretty. I dont think things like pink, lace, dresses, and makeup should be just for girls. Why can't I enjoy it too?

[Janice An]

I just feel the need !!

[Charlotte7]

Is it you would rather be a woman and wearing women's clothes makes you feel like you are a woman?

No, I would not rather be a woman, no, wearing women's clothes does not make me feel that I am a woman


Women's clothes look, fit and feel much nicer than men's and you don't necessarily want to be a woman?

Ok, maybe (some) women's clothes look nicer than men's clothes you may have a point there, and yes there is a much greater range of fabrics used in women's clothes, so you may have a point there, but remember that this 'feel' that women's clothes have is a double edge sword, as some are made from really quite horrendous material that must be really quite uncomfortable to wear.

As for fit, well, when you bear in mind that they are made for women, well, maybe they don't quite fit as well as some other things. Women's jeans can be very good, but many other women's things, they're not a great fit if you're a big shouldered male shape with a long body and short legs. Men's bodies can be much longer than women's and so tops can come up too short, wiastlines on dresses can sit off kilter, skirt lengths can come out wrong. Due to different body shapes there's a whole heap of potential problems for even an averagely shaped male, but if you're large, tall, bulky and other such things, then fit can be a real problem and I doubt in such cases it woud be the 'go to' reason.


Do they make you feel sexy; skimpy, soft, colorful panties, bras that project female breasts, hose, short skirts and heels, makeup, walking, moving about and setting as a woman??

No, they don't make me feel sexy, I avoid skimpy, yes, soft can be nice, I have a hoodie which is 'soft touch' and yes that's nicer to wear than a much rougher male hoodie, but the male hoodie certainly fit's better. As for underpants, well they're there to do a job and the basic engineering is different in each case. Bras are a necessary evil, ask just about any woman as you might get that answer. Tights can be a nightmare, they're so prone to being laddered. Short skirts can be a problem when you live somewhere as windy as it is here, heels are well known to cause severe damage to feet and should not be worn, and makeup, well there are many reasons for avoiding makeup.


Me I would like to be a 20 something pretty, well built woman and I would enjoy all of it.

Oh, to have a dream even if that dream is unattainable... but is that a good thing? Is it better to hope for that which will never happen or to find a place in the world where you can be a happy person, going about as nature intended?


Why do you crossdress?

I think that I've touched on it there in my last answer, I cross dress, because nature intended that I should

[Seana Summer]

The short answer is, I have no idea why I crossdress. See my profile description


Is it you would rather be a woman and wearing women's clothes makes you feel like you are a woman??

No



Women's clothes look, fit and feel much nicer than men's and you don't necessarily want to be a woman?? They feel nicer but do not fit me better or look better on me.



Do they make you feel sexy; skimpy, soft, colorful panties, bras that project female breasts, hose, short skirts and heels, makeup, walking, moving about and setting as a woman??? Not really

I gave up on trying to figure out why years ago.

[Jackiefl]

Because I can

[Brenda Summers]

I can enjoy my feminine side.

[phili]

I think the simple answer is that clothing is hugely symbolic, both visually and in material, cut, sexiness, practicality, and so on.

A picture is worth a thousand words,and we crossdress to send a thousand word message, to ourselves and others- that we want to experience being in the world culturally associated with the clothing and crossdressing is the obvious door!

[Wildaboutheels]

It's really quite simple for MOST members. And NO, I am not talking about the vast majority of Forum participants who comprise just the tiniest perentage of this site. It's also very obvious.

The P&V GALLERY shows why in both the 2 mega threads AND in what one does NOT see there.

I wear SOME items because 1) I like them and 2) I have no need to follow any herd/follow the latest fashion trends/fit in

[carhill2mn]

The simple answer is that I like to! I like how I look and feel when I am presenting as a woman. I like the huge variety of clothes and shoes that are available. I like to wear pretty jewelry. I like how makeup and hair make me look better. I like how I am treated when in public. I like how many women of all ages smile at me.

In other words I LIKE TO!

[Meeshell]

I really don't care for these kind of answers, but... I dress because it feels good.
It does make me feel sexy.
It does make feel good about my looks.
I do think women's fashions are way cooler than men's
And it seems to relax and de-stress me.
Plus, it tends to turn me on.

Meesh

[docrobbysherry]

--------------------------------------------------------
Me I would like to be a 20 something pretty, well built woman and I would enjoy all of it.
Why do you crossdress?

Apparently for the same reason u do, deebra. But, I'm 75. So, it should be much easier for u to look like a 20 y/o than me!?:battingeyelashes:
However, I/we have no idea what u look like!:daydreaming:

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[Tracii G]

Why ask another vague question with no correct answer?

[Teresa]

Deebra ,
After considering most of these points in the time I've been here I've finally come to the point where I dress as Teresa , whatever people see me as .

In reply I would say I prefer not to present in male mode anymore I feel perfectly comfortable and normal and I don't really consider it crossdressing anymore . I would alos like to be twenty and enjoy it but nothing is now stopping me at 67 .

[RADER]

All these questions, Maybe I should be answering with a # 2 Pencil.
I dress because I like wearing a skirt or a dress. It relaxes me, it gives me a thrill of
doing something that society says is a taboo and I am getting away with that.
I only dress at home, so no pressure on how I look, only what I feel at the time.
rader

[Debra Russell]

Because I have always felt like I should have been a woman and dressing gives me a sense of balance...…………………….Debra

[deebra]

Carhill, Meeshell & Doc we all are on the same page. TraciG why not, I like hearing why others CDs crossdress and their opinions on other posts . We learn and receive support from each other and what many forget when we revisit a topic that has been posted a lot is it is new and helpful to new CD's.
I just left a store and the SA that asked to help me had blond hair, brown eyes, 5'5", around 30 years old, very pretty face, wearing a T shirt that just couldn't hide full C's or D's and stretch pants that complimented her very nicely. My thoughts were would you like to trade bodies but I knew her answer. That is why I CD, best I can do until the surgeons can offer a lot more.

[Hidey]

I just like the freedom of a skirt and women's tops are much more varied and many made of different feeling materials. As already stated some materials are not nice,

Hidey

[Denise1951]

Because it feels good. Wearing a bra is like getting a hug. The feel of a nylon slip rubbing against my nylon clad legs is great. Not a sexual thing as when I was young. It just is who and what I am, and have been since 1961 when I was 10.

[Ginni]

There is a feminine side of me. I dress to satisfy my feminine side. It is a means of expressing who I am.

[Confucius]

I crossdress because it makes me happy. It's that simple.

I do not want to be a woman. I do not need to pass, or impersonate a woman. My personality doesn't change when I crossdress. However when I crossdress my stress levels go down, and my sense of well-being goes up. I believe that my brain interprets crossdressing as contact with a female and releases neurotransmitters like dopamine. It's almost like being in love.

[Rayleen]

Well crossdressing is my life since I remember, it relieve stress and lower my blood pressure.

also Always had a feminine job and always associated with female.

always like soft lingerie and pink is my favorite color.

also very my style.

[Macey]

For the same reason System of a Down asks "Why'd you leave the keys up on the table?"

You wanted to!

[Majella St Gerard]

I guess you can put me in the "because I like to" column.

[valerie anne]

I go out underdresed in bra, tights and discrete lipstick, but my heart melts when I enter the makeup & lingerie sections of the dept store!

[t-girlxsophie]

This'll probably sound like a cop out.But have never been able to satisfactorily answer the question why I Crossdress.I just know I love the way I feel when I do

Sophie

[Georgina]

Because I can.

[GracieRose]

Why do I crossdress?
Because it makes me smile (as well as any beneficial side effects that come with smiling).

[AmandaJean]

It's fun, makes me smile and it feels good!

Oddly I like looking at myself and enjoy taking photos while dressed, no so much in drab. So in effect I like myself more when dressed.

[Periwinkle]

I don't like the idea of wearing only one type of clothes or looking exactly the same all the time. When I see clothes that I'm drawn to, it doesn't matter who's 'meant' to wear them. I'll wear what I want to wear.

[Maid_Marion]

I have the shopping gene and I like the affirmation that comes from wearing clothes that fits me really well.

[GeorgeA]

As a Miad I don't want to be a woman or even look like one. I dress because not being a nudist I have to have clothes on. I find skirts, lingerie and especially nylons much more pleasant and comfortable than male attire. I really dislike trousers and take them off as soon as I can. I no longer consider that I crossdress, as what I wear seem to be natural and no longer fetishistic as when young. I also do not consider them women's clothes anymore as very few women dress like that. What I wear are crossdressers' clothes. I am sad that I am too old to see acceptance of men dressing any way they want.

[LucyDarlene20]

Beats me, and my wife, even after a lot of reading and half-baked theories and deep discussions. I just enjoy it.

[alwayshave]

I love the feel, the texture, the colors and the look.

[Sherrii]

Because I like to. Why do I like to- I really don't know but I do. Sherrii

[Georgia K]

I just enjoy it and wouldn't want to do it everyday as I like having something to look forward to in the weekend . I have no idea why I have the compulsion my phycologist thinks its because of my traumatic childhood where I was forced to wear girls clothes before I was sexually abused by my uncle

[Joyce Swindell]

I feel I need to express this part of me. If I don't express this side, the need will "pile up". (that's what makes me go too far sometimes) So I dress because if I don't I will explode into crazy "outing myself" mode.

[Beverley Sims]

It has always been a form of self expression for me.

[missjoann49]

I dress because of who I am and who I was meant to be. I have an extreme feminine side and it helps me to satisfy that side of me. I love the feel of the clothing and how it feels on me, and when in mixed company I love being treated like a lady

[Carla Bell]

Just learning to answer this --I do love color and sweet smells

[Leslie Mary S]

I do because I want and feel as if I need to.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I dress because of who I am and who I was meant to be. I have an extreme feminine side and it helps me to satisfy that side of me. I love the feel of the clothing and how it feels on me, and when in mixed company I love being treated like a lady

Oh, Honey, so do I! Roxanne Lanyon

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Well crossdressing is my life since I remember, it relieve stress and lower my blood pressure.

also Always had a feminine job and always associated with female.

always like soft lingerie and pink is my favorite color.

also very my style.

I adore being a girl! I love m Roxanne Lanyon. Very, Very much!!!!

[Stephanie47]

I gave up trying to figure it out over four decades ago. All the things on your list are just things which flow from wearing women's clothing. It does not answer why you choose to do what you do.

[pob]

I think I get something out of dressing “cute”, maybe even a bit “sexy”

Men mostly only get to dress “smart”

Women can dress “cute”, “sexy”, “elegant”, “demure”, “sultry”, “chic”, “racy”, etc

Expressing myself as I like makes me happy :)

[sometimes_miss]

It relieves the GID. If you wish to know more, it's all in my bio, link in my sig.

[Stacy Darling]

Purity of my Nature!

I was born to wear a skirt and that's how I see it!

Stacy!

[Michelle1955]

Is it you would rather be a woman and wearing women's clothes makes you feel like you are a woman?
The cloths does not make me feel like a woman, it more in the brain. Would prefer to be a woman to match my brain.
So I’m more than a cross dresser.

Women's clothes look, fit and feel much nicer than men's and you don't necessarily want to be a woman?
See above, woman cloths feel 200% better than male clothing.

Do they make you feel sexy; skimpy, soft, colorful panties, bras that project female breasts, hose, short skirts and heels, makeup, walking, moving about and setting as a woman??
They are cloths and age appropriate for 63 years old. But yes they make you feel good inside.

Me I would like to be a 20 something pretty, well built woman and I would enjoy all of it.
Growing up as 20 in 1975, times were a lot different. If could be 20 year old female, would do it in a heart beat.
Why do you crossdress?

[michelleg]

I started as a teen and it's just the overwhelming thrill of being dressed as a girl. I love the clothes, the lingerie, makeup and accessories that come with being a pretty, sexy and feminine girl every opportunity that I may have.

[Jenny22]

I have to due to the girl that lives in my heart and brain.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

To feel like a woman more than I already do.
To enjoy the freedome of the moment which is usually a long afternoon.
To think about fantasies that I never imagined before.
To help me understand why I have done or want to so many incredibly wierd things.
To understand my long strange journey of socialzation.

[Tahoegurl]

I like to dress to express how I feel...some days it is Alexandra some days it is male ...but I always like to dress nicely. It is an avenue to let me completely express who I am without having to consider a gender specific constraint. I am happy in either mode. Cheers.

[Asew]

I have a compulsion to do it. I think it fills a need to express the feminine ways that I feel. But I don't feel like a woman, which is why I am perfectly fine with a non-binary presentation that mixes clothes from both genders.

[jacques]

hello Deebra,
I crossdress to be me
luv J

[Loveday]

It just feel good to me. I feel more normal.

[Karen B]

It is who I am!

[Stacy Darling]

I used to Surf D, but carrying a board on my scooter was a little dangerous, yet cool!

Who needs an excuse to glam up?

Stacy!

[Lacey New]

I wish I knew the precise answer. I joined this forum thinking that someone here would know the secret cause of cross dressing but so far, just a lot of theories, all reasonable , but still unproven. I can’t deny that there has always been a bit of a thrill doing something that might be seen as taboo and of course there was a sexual thrill when I was much younger but for the most part, that has pretty much passed. I guess that ultimately, I simply enjoy the sexy soft and silky feel of women’s clothing from time to time.

[Danielle_cder]

Because I like to.

Seriously, I doubt that any of us knows why we dress in women's clothes, wear wigs, breast forms and padded bottoms. We can guess of course and we can try to justify it but in the end, we don't know the reason why.

Yep all of this

[deebra]

One of our members hit on something that stuck with me. Chemicals, like in the brain. Some folks have a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes them do things such as aggression, depression, care free, etc. I think possibily we could have been born with certain brain chemicals same as or similar to women where non CDing men don't have. Our brains tell us what to do. Just another theory among millions. Just keep wearing and buying panties and bras, women clothers love us for it.

[Stacy Darling]

Don't go down the chemical imbalance road babe!

I associate with so many scientists which would think twice!

[Crissy 107]

Just have to do it, no choice. I tried for years to suppress it and it did not work.

[AllieBellema]

Because I find mens clothing rather bland and I like how much frillier and elegant dresses can be. I could never really get into the male lifestyles either, I think the closest I can get is that I'm still a pretty strong sports fan... lol. That and I've always adores the vintage styles that I've seen on TV and in pictures while growing up, whether it would be the 50s style poodle skirts and petticoats or the always elegant southern belle dresses. It also led me into crossplay, which I really enjoy dressing up and seeing how good I look once it's all on!

[Miss V]

I like the feeling of femininity.

It relaxes me. It feels more like me, than when I'm dressed in guy mode.

[RebeccaV]

Short answer: I love it.

Long answer: it started as a sexual release as I hit puberty. Then in college it started to develop into more. Now it's something I want to do constantly because I love the way a flowy skirt feels and more importantly I love how I look walking in it.

[CynthiaD]

None of the OP’s answers fit me precisely. I crossdress because this is how I’m supposed to look.

[MarinaTwelve200]

It took me a while to figure out over the years----But it started as a sexual fantasy that turned me on when younger, as an aid to masturbation, and later I saw it as "Taking a vacation AWAY from MYSELF"--As Marina is "Another person" AND a woman which are both far away from the "real me" and she looks good too. Marina, is, in a sense, a "not me", so I can totally relax are release and be free of all the stresses and responsibilities of my "real self" and those simply associated with being "a man" . She does look attractive to me too, so it is even more fun to be in her "company".

-----Psychologically speaking, breaking certain "Taboos" and experiencing some "Traumas" also have an erotic effect on many people.--Myself included. Perhaps I am somewhat "masochistic" to a small degree. I have noticed that the deep brain "Protects" things like one's set "Persona" by erecting psychological barriers against violating boundaries that would change that.----But by violating those boundaries (By becoming Marina) produces its own "Erotic" effect ----which were likely the source of my erotic feelings when I first started this thing.

The early fantasies were a violation of my person limits, which caused an erotic reaction. This in turn, made me cross dress more often and resulted in realizing the even more attractive aspects as in "stress relief" when getting away from myself, so it has become a regular thing.

I see it as sort of "backwards" from many people here. Some of us see our fem selves as "The REAL Me" and others of us, like me, see our fem selves as the "Not Me" . Just goes to show that different mental sets can result in similar activities, like cross-dressing, but for different basic reasons.

[Pixie_94]

I don't remember and I'm not sure I'd like to.

[Alice B]

Decided it was something I wanted to try. Once that decision was made there was and is no going back. Why I decided to try it...???

[dominique]

That question and answer is now lost in the mists of time.

[Bea_]

I attribute my motivation to pure jealousy of the style options that women enjoy. I enjoy both sides of my closet, but there's nothing on the 'boy' side that's as comfortable or as aesthetically pleasing as a pair of leggings with a cute top. Same for dresses and skirts.

[Sherri_Christopher]

I'm a life-long crossdresser and have been doing it since I was four years old, nearly 60 years. I was firstattracted to my sister's crinoline petticoat and one day I slipped it on and it felt heavenly! I had an aunt who lived down the street from me and I spent a lot of time at her house and she wore very pretty Van Raalte and Vanity Fair slips and whenever I got the chance, I put them on and they felt so good on me and made me feel very girly! That's been a pattern that's been set for my whole life, being attracted by feminine underthings, lingerie and clothing, wearing such things and feeling wonderful doing so!

[krissy]

because its who I am. I love the feel of the clothes .the perfumes the makeup the bras and panties I love it all and I know I will never stop so I try to enjoy as much as I can before I meet my maker lol

[CrossKimmy]

Because I need to be connected to my feminine side.

[Tracy Irving]

I cross dress because I want to.

If I don't feel like it, I have lots of other clothing options available.

[Raychel]

I dress, because I can, When I do I feel more like myself.
Do I want to be a woman, No
Do I want to look like a woman. No
Do I want to act like a woman, No.

It is just me, dressing how I feel best.
In my own twisted mind, that is the way it should be.,

[Bruce64]

I don't crossdress, I wear what I like and enjoy.

[GingerCarter]

Sometimes I feel like a girly girl like I’m ashamed to have a member and sometimes I feel like a mans man proud of my member. Which ever route I go tho it’s 100% in that direction unless the wife has a request.

[fun4metoo2004]

Wow. Good question.

My answer 15 or so years ago would have been sexual gratification. Being recently divorced then and REALLY bitter about the divorce, It freed me up mentally too. Now, I just like how it makes me feel. I want to do a better job on my own makeup... I have the clothing and shoe selection process down pretty well now. Happy with my choices, and happy with the responses from the people that have recently seen me dressed.

The one thing I would like is my own bigger boobs. Forms are fine. but I would really rather have my own. No surgeries in my future, just something I wish for. No desire to transition or anything like that. I would someday like to find a woman that appreciates my particular crazy! So far, no luck in that department.

[mbmeen12]

Is it you would rather be a woman and wearing women's clothes makes you feel like you are a woman?
Ans: Yes

Women's clothes look, fit and feel much nicer than men's and you don't necessarily want to be a woman?
Ans:?

Do they make you feel sexy; skimpy, soft, colorful panties, bras that project female breasts, hose, short skirts and heels, makeup, walking, moving about and setting as a woman??
Ans: Yes

Why do you crossdress?
Ans: It allows me to feel and sexually express myself as a woman.

[penny lace]

I have dressed for sexual gratification but mostly just as a release for the inner girl in me.
Not that I need to be dressed to show the inner girl these days I am now happy to be more feminine in my outgoing persona even when dressed as man. My wife calls me camp but now I don't stress over labels just enjoy being me and that is some girl and some boy.

[Patrica Gil]

Why? Because I like seeing a cute pair of shoes when cleaning the house. Then it is nice while driving and glancing down at my nylons and a cute skirt, or dress. Don’t really like being hairy and soft smooth legs, underarms, and etc. feels wonderful. Curling my long hair to look nice is a chore but a joyful one when the results are in. Being in a dress and heels all day feels natural. Guess it should be said I dress for me as any lady would say. Besides it keeps not so nice women away from me, so you could say I prefer it. Thank you for asking.

[Laura28]

Simply put. It is who I am.

[Carla Bell]

I am not sure and I am ok with that. I do like pretty colors, soft fabric, sweet smells.

[Jill Mansfield]

I Just love to be Jill whenever I have the chance to.
It started out as a sexual release when I was young and over the years has become an extension of who I am . Balance is important but as I have matured Jill has tipped the balance to her favor and I am totally happy with that.
I can't really put into words how satisfied and complete I feel when I am fully dressed from head to toe and look in the mirror and see a beautiful woman looking back at me and realize that woman is me.
I gave up trying to figure out the reason I do what I do years ago.

[JennaDcd]

Agree this is a question that can have so many different answers, none being wrong in my opinion.

I dress for many reasons, mainly sexual. Not because I feel like a woman trapped inside a man's body as some do, which is completely and totally fine. Or because it's relaxing. I do it because it's taboo. It's exciting. It lets me explore my silk, satin and lace panty and lingerie fetish, which I've had for as far back as I can remember. It allows me to take on a different persona, one of a naughty little ... you get my point. It turns me on.

[Alexis00]

For me my crossdressing started at age 8 0r 9, before there was any understanding of gender or sexuality.

Now I feel there is feminine part of my identity and supporting it seems as important as the rest of me.

[Nicole Bernard]

I love doing it. I feel beautiful and sexy. As a man I don't feel sexy. I love all the colorful makeup and nail polish. Men don't get to be colorful.

I do enjoy the sexual gratification of it, but I've been trying to extend my time en femme to experience more. Like I had to put my wig into a ponytail to do some chores. Otherwise the hair kept falling into my face and mouth.

I've always felt closer to women than I have with men. I have more female friends than male friends. I feel awkward around men. I'm more comfortable around women.

Nicole

[Glenda58]

Yes I would rather be a woman But I can't. So I dress to feel good. Yes I wish I was 21 but I'm 50 yrs to late.

[Rachel Anne]

I cross dress because every time I go out in the world, that's what society expects with my body type. When I get home and can change into "regular" things, I'm myself.

[abbiedrake]

I get a kick out of transgression so that's a factor. But if clothing privileges were not gendered I'd still wear dresses, skirts etc a good part of the time.
Sensuality is a massive factor. Nicer fabrics, cuts, patterns. Not sexuality, though like so many there were times when arousal was a part of it. Rather a simple enjoyment of the clothing and its fit. I get the same with my suits but extending my options for indulging my enjoyment of my appearance has been a relevation. In fact I'd go as far as to say that I may have first put on a dress because I was missing dressing as well as a man. I was in a bit of a rut and had let myself go somewhat. But the new experience fired something in me. As a result of my crossdressing I'm also dressing better as a man. Which helps with softening the wife. Better a well-groomed man most of the time seems to help with her toleration of my dress days.
As far as my expression is concerned my dressing doesn't provide a sole outlet for my feminine attributes. On the contrary I often consider that my dressing is demonstrative of my security in my male identity. Although I've yet to venture out en-femme I don't believe my masculinity is in any way undermined by a female presentation.
But at the end of the day I enjoy it. And, apart from respect for my wife's boundaries, I see no reason to restrain myself from a harmless pursuit that brings me personal joy.

[Jenna G]

I asked myself that question for a long time and decided it was just me. Love the way it makes me feel.

[Angie G]

I like it all of it. And my wife lets me. :hugs:
Angie

[Stephanie D]

Please excuse me if anything is amiss with this post, as this is my first post, here, or any forum like this.
And besides my wife, who is pretty much DADT, nobody has ever known anything about my life-long feminine side and my secretive underdressing habits and my desires that I have had ever since I was a very young little boy.

But sadly, even my wife doesn’t really fully “know” first-hand, or intimately, about the level of my desire and the level of my secretive occasional full dressing. I think I hide it pretty well. But she is very intelligent and very smart, in both the street smart way and the professional way. So I mean, she MUST really know about it, because we have figured out a way to talk about “it”, without really talking specifically about “it”. And not just once or twice. It’s now been several years, on and off, that it comes up and I try to bring it up carefully. And now thankfully I can even make some little self-deprecating jokes about certain things and how I really love my private time or how I need to ask her for a little advanced heads-up notice, maybe with a text, so she or our kids doesn’t come home unexpectedly to find some big over-weight, 6’-1” drag-queen running frantically amok in their house! But again, we don’t really sit down and talk about, or try to explore my crossdressing. It's out there, she "knows" about it to some degree, but never a conversation to the level I would love to have about it. So, it is pretty much is a DADT topic.

With that being said, I have just finally worked up the nerve today and finally, after a long long time, I joined the forum and wrote this reply! Why? Because yesterday I saw this question posted: Why do you crossdress?

Wow! There is was: a very simple question. But really, it’s the ultimate question! And some of the answers I read inspired me to finally write and yes damn it, I LOVE to crossdress! This was NOT easy for me to do but I am hoping it was the right thing to do.

Because for me, it is a very complex question that I honestly can't answer accurately without possibly contradicting myself. I mean, how does a certain feeling remain true and constant for more than 40 years of a person’s life, and then say it is because of only just one reason or another, or how the reasons may have changed over the many decades? But the end result is that the feelings are still there. Sometimes the desire is stronger than others and sometimes it is deeply repressed. Yes, it’s all very complicated to someone who doesn't understand it, but still, I love to crossdress!! I love how it makes me feel on the inside and out. I love everything about women’s feminine underwear, undergarments, makeup, perfume, hair, and jewelry. But why? Is it an escape from my reality that allows me to temporarily become someone else? That is something I can’t really explain. Just like any other type of love, you know it, but you may not be able to explain it? But I do know that I do not want to become a woman 24/7 (no disrespect at all) and a serious kudos to all the GG's because even just a few hours here and there is HARD! And I know that I’m not gay. And, yes, I know I love my wife! And my family! And I honestly wish she could love this part of me too, but I have to respect her comfort level and her boundary issues too. So in my life I am very fortunate that I have a lot of love, and I know what it feels like.

So I guess I could answer the question simply and say the reason that I crossdress is because it just feels so right, and comfortable, satisfying, fulfilling, sexy, stimulating, erotic, sensual and at the same time, it really just helps me to feel free and natural!

But yet, all of that exists simultaneously, but compartmentalized and separated, because another part of my brain also tells me that comparatively to real women, I know that I look silly, ridiculous, awkward, fake, ugly, and worse, a serious potential source of humiliation, social damage, and utter embarrassment to my loving wife and my family if I ever got caught especially by certain people.

And that is where all the internal conflict comes into play.
I just wonder if that conflict were not there, what would it be like?
Wonderful is what I know it would be like…utterly peaceful, natural, whole and simply wonderful.

So I take my moments, when I can, and I dress only to the level that I think I am safe to do so, and I try not to hurt anyone in the process. And I pray and still hope for more acceptance, understanding and involvement from my loving wife, but I also know that it can’t be forced onto another person unless they willingly choose to engage and become more involved.
So why do I crossdress?
Because it makes me feel happy and I love it!