Crossdressing for stress releif

[Simoneshamon]

Had a chat with my wife the other day and she will tolerate my dressing sometimes do things but its more dadt. She wanted a macdonalds and i sed i would get her one but could i do my dressing. [Have done it before and she was ok with it] but this time i had 100 questions. As to why i do my dressing and want to go out etc. I just replied with, Its a way to reduce my stress and if i drive i get a hour of dressing and not hurting anyone. And she cant understand it. She is scared i will get seen etc but i dont do make up and cover my top with my coat and they cant see my skirt whilst in the drive though and its a min thrill to me! So my question is how do i explain its just stress relief? and how do i keep up with the highs and lows as the other day she was happy for me to dress and she tied me up.

Thanks for reading x

[Maria in heels]

Hi Simoneshamon! You have entered the world where your wife, like mine, will somedays say YES and other days, the answer is NO, because she worries about what others will say and think if you are seen. In this relationship, I can only recommend that you respect her wishes, and learn to deal with her swings between the yes and no, and be thankful for whatever she allows. I know what you mean when you say that dressing also relieves your stress, and that is very important for your psyche for sure. I can tell you that just slipping into a pair of my heels as I sit on the sofa in the bedroom watching tv has a very calming effect, and I will also just put on a bra and forms under my t-shirt to go to sleep ... the most amazing feeling when I wake up in the morning comes and I know that I am whole.

[Beverley Sims]

Welcome to the forum and what you do seems quite normal, your wife should accept your explanation evenually as it does take time to get used to various activities and what occurs.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Welcome

She wanted a macdonalds and i sed i would get her one but could i do my dressing. - (Never place a condition on spouses hunger and dressing - when someone is hungry they are hungry
As to why i do my dressing and want to go out etc. I just replied with, Its a way to reduce my stress and if i drive i get a hour of dressing and not hurting anyone. (It is hurting your spouse, you are just not listening)
And she cant understand it. She is scared i will get seen etc ( fears are real)
but i dont do make up and cover my top with my coat and they cant see my skirt whilst in the drive though ( They CAN and DO see everything, they just don't comment, ask a trucker if they can seen into a car)
and its a min thrill to me!
So my question is how do i explain its just stress relief? ( It's not stress relief, it's more like an adrenaline high or runners high, -you said it a thrill-)
and how do i keep up with the highs and lows as the other day she was happy for me to dress and she tied me up. ( carefully , just like thrill seekers, yesterdays thills will not satisify tomorrows)

Most people eventually see a therapist, instead of waiting 3-10 years , start early and go 3-4 times a year.

Thanks for reading x

[Tracii G]

Welcome
If you feel its beneficial and relieves stress then why not do it?
Better than taking drugs to relieve stress.
Not sure why some here claim it is a stress reliever I think its more an excuse or a way to justify why they do it.
Just my opinion sure but like I said if it helps you thats a good thing.

[Stephanie47]

First, welcome to the forum. I dress to relieve stress; more so before I retired than now. I do agree with Kelly your outings may fall more into the "thrill" of doing it and maybe even the "thrill" of potentially being caught. I could never understand how fear of being discovered en femme and thinking of all the potential negative consequences relieves stress. If a man who needs or just plain likes to wear women's clothing does not care if he is observed as a man wearing women's clothing, then I can see it may be a stress reliever. He is satisfying his need to be who he feels he must be. It satisfies an inner struggle.

I have stated many times as it relates to me wearing women's clothing at home is comforting. To leave my home for an evening drive was terrifying because of all the potential negativity being discovered may bring. Yes, until something happens it would be just a fear of the unknown. But, that fear did not relieve stress. Emulating June Cleaver and doing domestic chores does relieve stress or at least is comforting. And I do get something done.

I understand a wife's concern there may be negative consequences for you and her if discovered. All this becomes a shared secret. The problem always seems to be trying to convey the answer to the "Why" question. What one feels when doing it is different than figuring out the answer to the "Why."

[Simoneshamon]

I think i put it wrong. I like the feeling of interaction knowing they dont know what i have on. Its also a great feeling to get out and go for small walks as i do occasionally and she is ok with that most of the time! as i use a old footpath no longer in use. There is a kind of freedom and relaxation of feeling the cool air on you legs up your skirt and the heels clicking as you take each step. I have no desire to become a women or look like a women i just enjoy the feeling of the softness and silkiness of the clothes. And when i am dressed i feel sexy and relaxed. Its hard to explain.

I know when use cds go out there is always a risk and in todays world it shouldnt matter what we wear as girls can wear what ever and we cant.

[michelle.foster]

Hello Simoneshamon,
When I first came out to my wife she too was afraid of my being found out. I respected that and would ask if I could dress when we were going out, usually to a movie where we be in the dark. Some times she said yes, some times she'd say no. I went with whatever she said. But I keep asking, and also continued to tell her I didn't care if anyone saw me.
I also reminded her that it was a stress relief to be dressed. and over a relatively short time, she came to accept that, and when I asked if she minded if I dress, she did mind.
We went on a weeks vacation road trip up the coast, I packed my girl clothes and she allowed me to spend two of the five days dressed, completely.
Awhile ago, I was in a complete funk, depressed, angry, being a real bitch. She suggested that I get dressed and go out for a while, I didn't because I was that messed up. But she has accepted that dressing makes me feel better. We now share clothes, she makes no comments when we go out and I put on bra and forms. I gave up the tighty-whities a long time ago and only wear panties.
So there is hope, continue to ask, continue to explain the "WHY". continue to dress around the house as much as you can. continue to calm her fears - I'm sure she can't really explain her fears either. Because some one might see you, OK they saw me. There are many threads here that basically all say the same thing "They don't really care, what you're wearing". They don't even see you most of the time.
Good luck,
Hugs

[Confucius]

I believe our brains are hardwired to release feel-good neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, etc.) when we crossdress. I understand that crossdressing relieves stress, but I usually explain it to my wife as "it just makes me happy".

In my case, my wife and I have to be sensitive to each other's needs. I needs some crossdressing to reduce stress and be happy. My wife needs to feel loved, protected and secure with her man. She sets the limits to my crossdressing according to tolerances and I respect those limits. I never forget to tell her that I love her and that she's simply wonderful.

Never do anything to break her trust in you.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Simone;

Really not trying to belabor, but you are still describing thrill seeking: "the feeling of interaction knowing they dont know" and "feeling the cool air on you legs up your skirt and the heels clicking" and "no desire to become a women or look like a women i just enjoy the feeling"

These days there is NOT "always" a risk. In fact in recent years there are laws to protect, company policies that allow CD/TG to work dressed as they want, go to entertainment ,shopping venues dressed as they want. In Baltimore it's not unusual to see TG members of society on a daily basis. Television has TG/CD people in roles. RuPaul has one of the funniest shows on TV these days

I'm not saying that occasionally there is not a hate crime involving a member of the community, just that the frequency has dropped drastically since the days of beat on sight.

YOU are going to find out soon that it takes more risky activity to attain the 'stress relief' you seek. Acknowledging it and working on ways

[t-girlxsophie]

I believe a lot of CDs do it as stress relief and that's ok,there's no right or wrong reason,certainly a lot worse you could do to relieve stress

Sophie

[Tracii G]

I think you are in the experimentation phase because it sounds like its all a game to you.