Church en femme?

[Joanie B]

I have found a church, UCC, which I believe will acccept me as my female self. However, I am wondering what reaction I will have from the GG's?

Has anyone dealt with this before?

How were you treated by the women?
As an outsider? Or as one of the girls...??

What about the men?
The children?


Also, I am planning to go to church this week, but not sure if I should also go to the Ladies Tea or not?

Any thoughts, anyone?

Joanie

[Yes I am]

You can't control how others will react to you, you can only control how you act towards them. I'm sure if you're courteous and respectful you'll encounter few if any problems. As for the ladie's tea, that's something you'll have to feel out for yourself. I hope all goes well for you, good luck!

[CharlaineCadence]

I have been going to a church in Geourga that for the longeset time had two servases. One was familys and one was for just adults no children. the latter was always in the after noon and it was quite a large groups of people. I besides being a crossdresser or even concitered transgender Have been whereing dresses at home. The dresses though are little girl style dresses. I am part of age regession theirpy and so my little girl side gets to come out and play alot too. anyway my paster who knew and supported me in both aspects asked me to come to the adult mass dressed as my little girl self. I founght her to be honest i was terrorfied. but finaly i said ok. She used me and her daughter(son) to help bring understanding of the transgender community to the other church goers so that she could open the servaces to them. That day we had for the first time in a long time a packed house. after she was done she commented on all the new arrivels then asked all the transgender people to stand up the whole normal congregation could not beleave the shear number. Then she asked all of the transgender people who where not members or first time visters to sit down. about 8 people staied standing. Well after that transgender people where openly accepted in either drab or en-fem or em-male. I was even told later on after i had changed ( my little girl does not belong out in public. Too hard to explain to others at times) That i was welcome to come dress that way anytime. I never did but we grew in size greatly after that day. I was shipped to japan shortly their after.The church's name was Sheppord of the cross it was a non denominational church. I do know the church merged with another a few years later and the name changed but, have lost contact with my paster. since.

[Butterfly Bill]

I have been a mamber of a Unity church and also gone to UU ones en travestie ("en femme" might not be accurate, because I don't try to create the illusion that I am not a man). If you like the way you look en femme, there will quite likely be GGs who like the way you look too. I got some special support from some of the lesbians. Has this church made any statement about accepting gay people? If they have declared themselves as Open and Affirming, they will accept you as part of the T in GLBT.

You might should ask in advance about the Ladies Tea, if it is an exclusively female group so that some of the ladies can feel freer to express themselves (like in the GG group here on CD.com) you should not transgress their desires.

Just go to Sunday service like it is the most normal thing in the world, express sincerely your faith in all your behavior, and you will most likely be welcomed. Be a good ambassador for CDdom.

[Jennaie]

I think that I would attend services for a few weeks and wait till someone invited me to join the girls for tea. If the invite did not come, I would probably look for another church.

[sharifemme]

As many of you may know, I have been going to a W&A American Baptist Church for a couple of years on and off. There are quite a few of us TGs there and many gays and lesbians besides the "normal" people. We are always treated the same as everybody else and encouraged to participate in all of the church's activities. Many of the children there will come up to you and compliment you on how you look or what you are wearing. Nobody gets upset because we use the women's rest room either. Some of us have been on the Board of Trustees, the Board of Christian Education, and the choir. They are always glad to see us at work bees, social functions, classes and services. Any way we can participate is gratefully appreciated just as we appreciate the chance to contribute and be part of the congregation.

Sharifemme






I have found a church, UCC, which I believe will acccept me as my female self. However, I am wondering what reaction I will have from the GG's?

Has anyone dealt with this before?

How were you treated by the women?
As an outsider? Or as one of the girls...??

What about the men?
The children?


Also, I am planning to go to church this week, but not sure if I should also go to the Ladies Tea or not?

Any thoughts, anyone?

Joanie

[Toni]

I have wanted to attend church en femme for a long time now and was given the phone number of the vicar of a United Reformed Church by a couple of lesbian friends. I rang him and he told me he would come and see me and he didn't mind whether he met Tony or Toni. Well he met Toni and told me how lovely I looked and that I would pass anywhere and proceeded to tell me the story of his life and asked me a lot of questions about myself and my transvestism, some of which with hindsight were rather embarrassing but he was a man of the cloth and I answered as truthfully as I could. Anyway he ended up by saying that we would have to meet a couple more times before I attended the church. It was only after he left that I realised that he had not told me what time the services were or indeed where the church was. Did he just want a cheap thrill at my expense, I don't know but I still want to attend church.

[Joanie B]

I think that I would attend services for a few weeks and wait till someone invited me to join the girls for tea. If the invite did not come, I would probably look for another church.

Hi,
I had a meeting with the pastor today before work to discuss this, so I went in guy mode. I actually used your advice to answer my question about the women's meetings.

I was disappointed but not shocked in the pastor's answer to my request to come to church as Joanie. He said that altho he wanted to be supportive of me as Joanie, he could not allow my need to dress to trump his need to have an orderly worship service. He is afraid that I would be a spectacle and distract from the worship or other activities. So he requested that I not come dressed to church activities, sigh, which also means I will not be going to any of the female only events.

He said if I had come as Joanie at first it might have worked, but now it would be too confusing....

I may look for another church. Next time I will meet with the pastor BEFORE attending, as Joanie and see what happens...

So I may continue to attend as Jon while I examine my options....

Joanie

[Butterfly Bill]

That's baloney! Surely somewhere in the Chicago area there is a Open and Affirming church. Are there any Unitarian, Unity, or Metropolitan Community churches? Check in some local gay newspapers.

Then just go to the service as you want to and if you don't get good vibes, look some more until you walk into a place that makes you feel good.

If you try to talk about it beforehand to someone who has not actually experienced it, they will likely form some images that are more foreboding that real. Probably he was thinking that you would come as a flaming drag queen. When defending your case. it is better to point at what has actually happened than to something you say you are hoping will happen. If no spectacle was actually made, than they don't have anything to fear.

[sharifemme]

Joanie...

Here is a list of known welcoming and Affirming churches in Illinois(probably not a complete list). I'd suggest that you pick one and try it out as Joanie. Just don't switch back and forth between male and female presentations.

Sharifemme
Illinois
ALLIANCE OF CHRISTIAN CHURCHES
CHURCH OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
QUINCY IL
angels@adams.net (angels@adams.net%20)
LAMPLIGHT MINISTRIES
TAYLORVILLE IL
METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCHES
Holy Covenant MCC
9145 Grant Avenue
Brookfield, IL 60513

Email Address: holycovenantmcc@hotmail.com (holycovenantmcc@hotmail.com%20)
Website: http://www.holycovenantmcc.com/ (http://www.holycovenantmcc.com/)
Pastor: Rev. Buddy Vess PastorBuddyVess@aol.com (PastorBuddyVess@aol.com%20)
Lay Delegate: Rob Hadley
Director of Music: Greg Petit
Director of Celebration Ministries: Jan Belzer
Director of Empowering Ministries: Patti Reid
Deacons: Rob Hadley, JoAnne Bratkovich
Worship Times:
9:00am Traditional Service & 11:00am Contemporary Service
6:00pm Taize (first Sunday of each month)

Good Shepherd Parish MCC

Email: gsp_news@hotmail.com (gsp_news@hotmail.com%20)
Website: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/1734/GoodShepherdParishMCC.html (http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/1734/GoodShepherdParishMCC.html)
Pastor: Rev. Wayne Bradley RevWayneBradley@earthlink.net
Lay Delegate: Jack Law-Hart
Worship Times: 11:00 am and 7:00 pm
Meeting Location:
7045 N. Western Ave. - Second Floor
(Light of Christ Lutheran Church facility)
Chicago, IL 60645

Resurrection MCC
1722 East 55th St. Basement Apt. Chicago, IL 60615

Email: shaneresmcc@yahoo.com (shaneresmcc@yahoo.com%20)
Website: http://www.gldufmcc.org/ (http://www.gldufmcc.org/)
Pastor: Rev. Shane Desautels
Lay Delegate: Holly Blonde
Worship time: Sunday 10:30 am
Meeting Location:
1156 E 57th Street (Disciples Divinity House Chapel), Chicago, IL

MCC of the Fox Valley
164 Division Street, Suite 505-506
Elgin, IL 60120

Website:
Interim Pastor: Rev. Gordon R. McCoy GrmChiTown@aol.com (GrmChiTown@aol.com%20)
Deacon: Don Lindenbrook, julnisse36@hotmail.com (julnisse36@hotmail.com)
Lay Delegate: Don Lindenbrook
Worship Time: Sundays at 10:30am

New Spirit MCC
542 S. Scoville
Oak Park, IL 60304

Email: newspiritmccoakpark@netzero.net (newspiritmccoakpark@netzero.net%20)
Website: http://www.mccincarnation.org/ (http://www.mccincarnation.org/)
Pastor: Rev. Bradley Mickelson
Pastor’s Email: PastorEmil@aol.com (PastorEmil@aol.com%CA)
Lay Delegate: David Olszanowski
Clergy Candidate: Rich Hendricks
Coordinator of Music: Carol Ann Kyrias
Worship times: Sundays at 11am (June through August at 10am)
Wednesday Prayer and Hymn Sing at 7:30pm

Heartland MCC
Church office: 512 W. Allen
Springfield, IL 62704

Email: hcmcc@heartlandcommunitymcc.org (hcmcc@heartlandcommunitymcc.org%20)
Website: http://www.heartlandcommunitymcc.org (http://www.heartlandcommunitymcc.org/)
Pastor: vacant
IPL Email: cook@uis.edu (cook@uis.edu%20)
Lay Delegate: Art Clark
Worship time: Sunday 12:00 pm
Meeting Location: 1st Presbyterian Church, Seventh & Capitol
UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST ONA CHURCHES
United Campus Ministries
2 Northern Illinois University
633 W. Locust Street DeKalb IL 60115

UCC
406 West Galena Boulevard Aurora IL 60506


Church of the Good Shepherd
515 Orchard Dr Carbondale IL 62901


First Congregational UCC
30 N. Washington St. Carpentersville IL 60110

Community United Church of Christ
805 South 6th Champaign IL 61820


Galewood Community Church UCC
1776 N. Narragansett Avenue Chicago IL 60639


Epiphany United Church of Christ
2008 West Bradley Place Chicago IL 60618


Ravenswood UCC
2050 West Pensacola Avenue Chicago IL 60618


St. Paul's UCC
2335 N. Orchard Chicago IL 60614


Nazareth United Church of Christ
2500 N. Talman Avenue Chicago IL 60647


University Church
5655 South University Avenue Chicago IL 60637


Wellington Avenue UCC
615 Wellington Avenue Chicago IL 60657


Peoples Church
P.O. Box 408335 Chicago IL 60614


New Church UCC
616 Spring Street East Peoria IL 61603


Congregational Church UCC
320 West College Jacksonville IL 62650


First Congregational Church
P.O. Box 489 La Grange IL 60525


Christ Church UCC of Germantown Hills
110 Holland Road Metamora IL 61548


First Congregational Church
25 East Benton Avenue Naperville IL 60540


Hope United Church of Christ
248th Avenue Naperville IL 60564


New Covenant Community UCC
210 West Mulberry Street Normal IL 61761


Pilgrim Church
460 Lake Street Oak Park IL 60302


First United Church of Oak Park
848 Lake Street Oak Park IL 60301


First Congregational UCC
907 Paul Street Ottawa IL 61350


Immanuel UCC
1500 Old Church Road Streamwood IL 60107


First Congregational Church UCC
320 Grand Avenue Waukegan IL 60085


First Congregational Church UCC
1125 Wilmette Avenue Wilmette IL 60091


INDEPENDENT CHURCHES
Well of Living Water Ministries
403 N. Illinois Ave.
Belleville, IL 62220

Web Site: www.well-of-living-water-ministries.org (http://www.well-of-living-water-ministries.org/)
E-Mail: scarmas@juno.com (scarmas@juno.com)
Pastor Dianna M. Thomas
WELCOMING AND AFFIRMING BAPTIST CHURCHES
Grace Baptist Church
5353 N Kenmore 60640

gbcfriends@aol.com (gbcfriends@aol.com)

Lake Street Church
607 Lake St. 60201

AFFIRMATION [UNITED METHODIST CHURCHES]
Winfield UMC
OS347 Jefferson, P.O. Box 359, Winfield, IL 60190

Wheadon UMC
2214 Ridge Avenue, Evanston, IL 60201

Hemenway UMC
933 Chicago Avenue, Evanston, IL 60202

Euclid Avenue UMC
405 S. Euclid Avenue, Oak Park, IL 60302

Hazel Crest Community UMC
17050 California Avenue, Hazel Crest, IL 60429

First UMC-Chicago Temple
77 W. Washington, Chicago, IL 60602

Holy Covenant UMC
925 W. Diversey Parkway, Chicago, IL 60614

UMC of Albany Park
3100 W. Wilson Avenue, Chicago, IL 60625

Berry Memorial UMC
4754 N. Leavitt Street, Chicago, IL 60625

United Church of Rogers Park
1545 Morse Avenue, Chicago, IL 60626

New Hope UMC
7115 Hood Ave., Chicago, IL 60631

Epworth UMC Chicago
5253 N. Kenmore Avenue, Chicago, IL 60640
Website: www.epworthchicago.org (http://www.epworthchicago.org/)

Irving Park UMC
3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641

Grace UMC
3325 W. Wrightwood, Chicago, IL 60647

Broadway UMC
3344 N. Broadway, Chicago, IL 60657
DIGNITY [ORGANIZATION OF GLBT CATHOLICS]
Dignity/Chicago
3023 N. Clark, #237
Chicago, IL 60657

DignityChicago@aol.com (DignityChicago@aol.com)
Mass on Sundays, 5:00 p.m. Broadway United Methodist, 3344 North Broadway (at Buckingham) Chicago, IL
lutherans converned
LC/Chicago PO Box 10197, Chicago, IL 60610-1097
lcchicago@lcna.org (lcchicago@lcna.org)





Hi,
I had a meeting with the pastor today before work to discuss this, so I went in guy mode. I actually used your advice to answer my question about the women's meetings.

I was disappointed but not shocked in the pastor's answer to my request to come to church as Joanie. He said that altho he wanted to be supportive of me as Joanie, he could not allow my need to dress to trump his need to have an orderly worship service. He is afraid that I would be a spectacle and distract from the worship or other activities. So he requested that I not come dressed to church activities, sigh, which also means I will not be going to any of the female only events.

He said if I had come as Joanie at first it might have worked, but now it would be too confusing....

I may look for another church. Next time I will meet with the pastor BEFORE attending, as Joanie and see what happens...

So I may continue to attend as Jon while I examine my options....

Joanie

[BeckyCath]

I think that I would attend services for a few weeks and wait till someone invited me to join the girls for tea. If the invite did not come, I would probably look for another church.

I think that's a really shallow reason for wanting to go to church "enfemme"


I was disappointed but not shocked in the pastor's answer to my request to come to church as Joanie. He said that altho he wanted to be supportive of me as Joanie, he could not allow my need to dress to trump his need to have an orderly worship service. He is afraid that I would be a spectacle and distract from the worship or other activities. So he requested that I not come dressed to church activities, sigh, which also means I will not be going to any of the female only events.

Why would you want to go to female only events?

Sorry i just think this is all bit disrespectful... Yes, if you're TS and are transitioning, but isn't there somewhere the line should be drawn? If i was just a tranny, i would never even dream of going to church dressed... I go as a woman, because, that's who i am... Genesis 1 and all that... he created them male and female...

Rebecca...

Rebecca

[Joanie B]

I think that's a really shallow reason for wanting to go to church "enfemme"



Why would you want to go to female only events?

Sorry i just think this is all bit disrespectful... Yes, if you're TS and are transitioning, but isn't there somewhere the line should be drawn? If i was just a tranny, i would never even dream of going to church dressed... I go as a woman, because, that's who i am... Genesis 1 and all that... he created them male and female...

Rebecca

Because I am not "just a tranny"....I see myself as a female, I dislike the company of men in agroup, I just thought it wuld be nice to be a girl, with the girls....is that so wrong?

btw, I have been to an MCC church en femme, and they were cool with it.

Thanks for being honest, but I disagree.
I think I will just keep looking for a W& A church and start over, maybe go back to the MCC church where at least they accept me as who I am....

Joanie