Irrational Fear of Shopping

[Kay74]

Since I'm fairly new to this, I still find it really difficult shopping for female clothing and makeup in person if it's for myself. The strange thing, is that if I'm buying for my wife, I will confidently buy clothing, underwear, lingerie, tampons, whatever and not sweat it. I know its all in my head, as I've managed to buy a few things and the clerk hasn't made any comments or funny looks.

Maybe it's a fear of coming out, as I'm still keeping CD to myself.

Katy

[Maid_Marion]

Yes, it is the fear of being "outed."

I can't buy stuff at VS when they are having a busy sale day.
Too much of an overload. Better for me to find stuff online.

I have a much easier time at Target and Kohls, which I can easily combine with my grocery shopping run!

[Macey]

If you're buying things, not trying on … write out the things you want on a list. Look manly, awkward, and confused as you scan the aisle up and down prominently holding your list out, scanning it again and again. Look confused and troubled. Everyone would see you as a man shopping for his wife and hoping he doesn't bring home the wrong thing ;) a sales assistant may even take pity on you and you can ask where this or that is located.

[Robertacd]

We all have that fear, but honestly nobody cares. You will not be the first guy to buy woman's clothes and you won't be the last.

[Micki_Finn]

Well, you said it yourself. It’s illogical. Unfortunately emotions are rarely concerned with logic. The only way to get over it is to confront it head-on.

[Cheshire girl]

Nobody cares. They just want to do their jobs and sell stuff. It’s much more fun of course going dressed and presenting as a woman.

[Tracii G]

If your fear of being seen as gay its called homophobia.

[Devi SM]

I think that fear is the child of ignorance.
When I say ignorance is not an offense but a description of your actual state of knowledge on women's stuff.
As Macey say you could make a list.
Another thing is shopping on internet first, learning name on things, etc.
Educate yourself and then you'll find out that nobody cares.
One time I was in drab and got into the womem's fitting room. The clerk didn't see me when I came in first time but when leaving, then I come back again and show how many items I carry inside. She gave me the proper card with a number and walking inside.
I don't know if is the trust I gaming with the time but nobody says a word. So know your task.

[ellbee]

Back in the day, I used to do my shopping in-person. Pre-internet days, so no other options, really.

And for a few years, even too young for a credit card, heh. So, the catalog thing was out of the question, too.


Yeah, I suppose I could have went with a GG-friend or GF?

I always shopped by myself. Sucked it up & put on my big-girl panties. All you could do, really.


Honestly don't recall if I ever did the "only-GG" stores. Probably a few along the way? :strugglin

Though going to a place that carried both men's & women's was easier & more typical for me. Women's on one floor, men's on another? Ah, well! :heehee:

Of course, this was also before those self-checkout thingies.


Hate to admit this, but when I was a poor teen, I may or may not have gotten some make-up at a "5-finger discount."
Bad, ellbee... BAD! :spank:

Imagine if I had ever been caught?? :o



Anyway, shopping in-person really depends on your confidence. You have to convince yourself that it's no big deal.

Yeah, sometimes you might feel a bit more nervous or whatever. And depending on who you get as an SA or cashier, that could make-or-break things, too. Honestly, just have fun with it, if you need to... If done properly, it puts the other person at ease, too.

Of course, *what* you're buying plays a role, as well. A couple basic tops in neutral colors? No big deal. A full face of make-up, pink lace panties & a pair of 6" patent heels in a size 15 EEE? Yeah, bit of a difference, LOL.


Call me a wuss, but these days, I just buy everything online. :D

I do it out of convenience, for selection, and for pricing.

Granted, I also buy like 95% of my *guy* stuff online, too... So, it's not really much of a stretch.


Hey, some prefer doing the in-person thing! And I don't fault them for that.

But if you have issues with it, either work on getting over it, or do the online thing for some/most/all. :)

[Eemz]

It is interesting that you can buy stuff no problem when you know it's not for you, so the only thing that's different is your state of mind, presumably. I would guess it's setting off guilt or shame or some such over the CD, because evidently you're not worried what people will think about you buying this stuff if it's not for you. So the fear is not of being seen buying women's clothes... you have no problem doing that when it's for someone else.

So all I can say is... you're not weird, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Chant that to yourself before going to the register next time and see if that helps :) LOL

[Krisi]

The people working in the stores don't care what you buy although they sometimes are a little "chatty" so you'll want a smart comeback if someone says "Oh that will look good on you." The real danger is that you'll be trying on those heels when your next door neighbor or co-worker comes around the corner and sees you wearing them or ends up behind you in the checkout line. One thing you can do is to shop as far as practical from where you live or work. I have run into people I know when shopping in the ladies department but fortunately, my wife and I were together.

[Stephanie47]

With Valentine's Day coming up soon perhaps that will give you a little more confidence to buy for yourself. One thing I always did was to inquiry about a gift box. Pretending the clothing is for a wife on Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas always helped me in my early years of buying clothes.

As to trying to figure women's clothing out every major retailer has a website with information about sizing in general and sizing specific to particular clothing. Learn about fabric types. Some fabrics have not stretch and are very form fitting. Men have wider shoulders than women and certain fabrics will not stretch. All this information is also used by women when choosing clothing.

[Asew]

Irrational but pretty common. Usually it gets easier with practice :)

[JulieB]

I go to stores Im unlikely to run into someone I might know. Then I go when they are unlikely crowded. Self checkout is awesome... and the internet makes it simple, long as Im getting the mail,, Ha!

[Crissy 107]

We all were nervous the first few times but as said it does get easier. Pick your times in the beginning when you feel the store will be less crowded. Shopping for yourself is to me very exciting, I’ve never met a lingerie department I didn’t like. ;)

[Tracii G]

One tip don't be looking around and hiding it only makes you look guilty of something and security will be watching you.
Best thing is get over it because it is irrational.

[Leelou]

This is always a fun topic. Yes, it can be awkward, but just go out and shop! You'll gain confidence quickly when you learn that no one cares.

As soon as I was out of the house and left my own desires, I was out shopping.

[DanielleDubois]

This all comes down to what you personally are comfortable with and not what others are comfortable with. I do most of my shopping online especially once I have found a store which is consistent in their sizing. Self serve checkouts are great until when the checkout machine refuse to acknowledge you put an item in the bagging area and the clerk has to come over and override the system. I will still slip a pair of pantyhose or something into a big grocery shopping with the backup plan if the clerk says anything I can just tell her my wife put it in the cart or that I simply pick up whatever has been put on the grocery list. But I haven't had to implement that plan and my self checkout experiences have gone smoothly. One thing I have learned after 6 decades of doing all of this is never feel pressured by what others say they are comfortable with. Things have been much less stressful as I have realized what I am comfortable with.

[Beverley Sims]

Katy,
That irrational fear will dissipate with time, you work out ways to suppress that timid feeling.

[Ressie]

I don't think the fear is completely irrational. There is a chance that someone that knows you will see you in the lingerie dept. If that were to happen, they might approach you to talk or they may pretend they didn't see you.

So, if that person comes up to talk, you naturally will feel uneasy about the situation. You might have to lie and say you're shopping for your wife. This could turn into an episode on Seinfeld, you being George. That's where one has to lie more as the situation unfolds.

The fear of being outed is justified unless you don't care if you're outed. So do your shopping in other cities where no one knows you until you feel less nervous or embarrassed about it. I personally would die if my brother caught me in a store looking through a rack of dresses. But I'm at the point where I don't think about that while shopping in my home town. Which means someone I know will eventually see me.

When that happens I'll probably just come out to that person rather than making up a story.

[Diane Taylor]

Each time you buy things that are for you the fear will lessen until it's mostly or even completely gone.

[JennykBailey]

Look at it this way, women are always looking through the menswear, so strike a blow for equality and shop in the women's wear section. As I often say to my wife, I'm never happier than when I hang around in Ladies Lingerie!

[TracyT]

If you're buying things, not trying on … write out the things you want on a list. Look manly, awkward, and confused as you scan the aisle up and down prominently holding your list out, scanning it again and again. Look confused and troubled. Everyone would see you as a man shopping for his wife and hoping he doesn't bring home the wrong thing ;) a sales assistant may even take pity on you and you can ask where this or that is located.

No offense, Macey, but this is exactly the wrong thing to do: it perpetuates the idea that crossdressing, and a man shopping for women's clothing for himself, is somehow shameful and must be disguised by acting "manly, awkward, and confused." That's going backward. We need to go forward.

Kay, pick a store where you know you'll feel comfortable, and a time when it won't be super-crowded. I recommend Sephora. Figure out exactly what you're shopping for. Dress as feminine as you're comfortable with in public. Walk in, smile, and tell the salesperson confidently what you need. Ask to try it out in the store. I guarantee you will be treated with kindness and courtesy and it will be one of the best CDing experiences of your life. You will find that shopping openly in women's outlets is a huge boost to your confidence and your enjoyment. And you will lose your fear.

Good luck!

[Kay74]

Thanks for the suggestions and support, everyone!

I do know that it's all a head game thing, and agree like with anything else it's just a matter of practice, practice, practice!

What recently worked to fake out my head was to buy an item for me, and an item for my wife, along with some other items I needed.

Also, the self checkout is generally pretty great, but there was a time when I crashed the POS software trying to buy a pair of clip on earrings. This required the cashier to come over and help out, and when they were scanned on a second unit, it crashed too! For a $5 pair of earrings, it was quite an ordeal! Eventually, it was sorted out and was able to get through it.

[Cheryl T]

Then just shop for your wife, but buy your sizes ...

[ChubbyLeahCD]

Since I'm fairly new to this, I still find it really difficult shopping for female clothing and makeup in person if it's for myself. The strange thing, is that if I'm buying for my wife, I will confidently buy clothing, underwear, lingerie, tampons, whatever and not sweat it. I know its all in my head, as I've managed to buy a few things and the clerk hasn't made any comments or funny looks.

Maybe it's a fear of coming out, as I'm still keeping CD to myself.

Katy

I totally relate! I’m closeted so I feel self conscious if it’s for me, even though I’m in my male clothes.
I usually start shaking and get flushed. It feels all eyes are on me. I’ve shopped online and shipped to store. I’ve also looked up items and written down the SKU and go in and ask one of the SAs and say it’s for my wife.

[Patience]

I think it’s normal to feel some butterflies in one's stomach when one finally decides to act upon one's impulses. Part of it is due to the amount of variety in women’s clothing. I was pretty terrified when I started buying clothes for myself.

Now I've been doing it over a year it's the most natural thing in the world.

[Macey]

No offense, Macey, but this is exactly the wrong thing to do: it perpetuates the idea that crossdressing, and a man shopping for women's clothing for himself, is somehow shameful and must be disguised by acting "manly, awkward, and confused." That's going backward. We need to go forward.

Kay, pick a store where you know you'll feel comfortable, and a time when it won't be super-crowded. I recommend Sephora. Figure out exactly what you're shopping for. Dress as feminine as you're comfortable with in public. Walk in, smile, and tell the salesperson confidently what you need. Ask to try it out in the store. I guarantee you will be treated with kindness and courtesy and it will be one of the best CDing experiences of your life. You will find that shopping openly in women's outlets is a huge boost to your confidence and your enjoyment. And you will lose your fear.

Good luck!

No offense taken, Tracy. My advice is not for someone looking to forward the 'cause', but for a person who's scared and looking for a way to move forward. Some folks can dive in head first to an irrationally fearful situation, some would rather dip their toe in and test the waters until they feel more comfortable. Fortunately, there are infinite ways for each of us to move through the world as the individuals that we are, rather than a mono-static ideal of how a CDer should behave. And, fortunately, there is a myriad of advice for a nervous individual to choose what is right for them.

[Jenny22]

Kay, first, you have to know your sizes of various female things, regardless how you shop. In brick and mortar stores, I've always shopped for my girl-self while dressed as a guy!! Many times I've bumped elbows with females at sales racks and have even asked them their opinion on a garment or a question about one.I've never had a negative reaction. It's easy to shop in drab for female things, even lingerie! Over the last few years I've bought over 50 bras and 100 panties, many dresses, tops, skirts ,camis, stockings, etc. Never had a problem or a challenge. You just have to man-up and do it. Once you do, shopping is a snap!

[wendy]

I've been shopping for women's clothing for years and from time to time, I still get butterflies. One thing you can do is shop in stores where there are minimal to no sales staff like Walmart. In places like those, you can browse around and truth is, no one will bat an eye. Most if not all go about their own business.

In the US, stores like Target are perfect. There are barely any sales staff so you can browse at your leisure.

[ellbee]

No offense, Macey, but this is exactly the wrong thing to do: it perpetuates the idea that crossdressing, and a man shopping for women's clothing for himself, is somehow shameful and must be disguised by acting "manly, awkward, and confused."

I agree with Tracy on this. But it has nothing to do with wanting to "further the cause" or whatever.

Instead, it has to do with just respecting a fellow human being during a one-on-one, face-to-face interaction.


I'm sure anyone who's been working some kind of retail job for any length of time can recognize when someone genuinely needs assistance, versus being told some BS-story that they've already heard a thousand times before, that insults their intelligence & that they're now forced to play along with once again. Because when the latter happens, part of them probably resents you for that (even if they don't appear to show it at the time).

IOW, no one likes a BS'er. :thumbsdn:

If you're not actually buying something for your GF/wife/mother/some-other-GG, then please don't pretend that you are. To me, that's so far down on the list of various ways of going about this, that it's not even a valid option. (Again, no offense to Macey.)


Now, I'm not saying you should hop onto the PA system & voluntarily announce to the whole store that once you get home, you'll be jumping into this skimpy little outfit that you're buying. :heehee:

In fact, no one has to know anything, if you don't want them to.

The overwhelming majority of my in-person purchases were pretty neutral & ho-hum on *both* sides, to be honest. Maybe think of it as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"? Besides, I'm sure I wasn't the first guy who was *possibly* buying something femmy for himself there -- and I'm sure I wasn't the last.


If an employee asks if they can help you find anything -- but you don't want to be bothered? A simple & polite: "Not right now, thanks" is more than sufficient. And they'll be on their way, leaving you to shop on your own. That's it, easy-peasy.

Of course, if you're feeling brave enough, and actually do need help finding something, or not sure about something? Let them know! That is their job, and it's the reason why they're there. Of course, at that point you can volunteer as little or as much info as you want. And if they then ever ask you something like: "Is this a gift for someone, or... *pause*?" A simple "Nope!" is more than fine, leaving it at that. Or, if you're feeling a bit more open & confident? Reply with: "Nope, this is for me." See the difference? :)

And the latter reply also potentially opens up a further dialogue. The employee is getting more of an idea of where you're coming from, and they'll now be able to assist you better, ya know? Seriously, some GG's are *good* at this fashion stuff, for example. They ENJOY it. And they enjoy helping potential customers become happy & stylish customers. Will *every* GG-employee be jumping at the chance to help out a guy pick out something cute for himself? No. But probably a lot more than you think. (Of course, they also want to sell you a lot of stuff, too, so, you know... ;) )


Anyway, *you* are pretty much in control of what you want to disclose, what you don't want to disclose, and how & when you go about doing it. And if at any time you start getting too nervous or uncomfortable? You can always politely "back out," so to speak. Just thank them for their time, and inform them that you'd like to just browse around a bit more on your own. I'm sure they'll more than understand, and they'll say something like, "Okay, no problem... Just let me know if you need any more help!" Again, easy-peasy.

Of course, if you start getting too nervous or uncomfortable? You could also go another route, one that makes you *gasp*... a bit vulnerable! :confused3:

Straight up tell them: "Listen, I'm not gonna lie, here... I'm shopping for myself, but I'm a bit nervous & overwhelmed by it. A little scary for me, ya know?"

BOOM! Odds are, that will "trigger" something in her, and at the drop of a hat she will *totally* change her demeanor. She will get super warm, super friendly, super helpful, super empathetic, etc., etc. She will want to put you in a much better emotional state... And she'll probably grab you by the hand (figuratively and/or literally, LOL) & lead the charge! :D

Trust me, she will definitely appreciate your openness & honesty -- and your willingness to show your vulnerability to her. :thumbsup:

(Unless she's a total bitch, of course! :roflmao: But odds are, she wouldn't be.)



I dunno, enough rambling for now.

And you know what? Jeez... I think I've almost convinced *myself* to start going shopping in-person again! :p

[Brandi Christine]

Like the other girls are saying, every time you shop it gets easier, I usually shop at Goodwill for the prices and have never had any issues. I will select a few colorful men's/androgynous tees as camouflage, usually from the other guys that are shopping as the women pretty much ignore me. I am always dressed in guy mode, but I always have women's underwear on when shopping for girly clothes, kind of a morale booster (Or is that a morale 'bustier' :o)… I've tried things on with no issues (with my feet in nylon showing below the door!) and have never had an issue with the clerks. For makeup & stuff the self checkout at Walmart is great too! Just be careful, eventually you'll have too many girly outfits & too much makeup! (as if that is possible :battingeyelashes:...)

[Crissy 107]

Another thing, not sure if it has been mentioned yet, I have been told by a couple of SA’s that they absolutely know when a guy is shopping for himself. I guess when you are good at your job you know how to read people. Don’t let this scare you off but the point is just enjoy yourself and relax.

[Happygirl!]

For me, the biggest fear is running into someone you know. But outside of that, I think it can be fun just telling the SA it's for you, and asking for help.

[Kelli_cd]

While shopping for bras, if an SA asks, What size does she wear?, I reply: She wears 42DDD, but I wear 38B. This is followed by a quick change in demeanor, but that had never been negative. I've always felt like I receive special attention as soon as the SA knows I'm shopping for me.

[Brandi Christine]

Sort of on a related topic, I was at work doing a job at a Macy's yesterday and always make it a point to walk through the makeup area, and there was a male makeup artist (in a very good make up job I might add) that I was just dying to ask if it would be possible to come in and get a makeover, for now it's one of my fantasies, but someday...

Of course I'd never ask while in my work uniform though...

[Angela Marie]

I stopped dressing for a few years. Yeah it was a purge lol. Anyway before I stopped I would go out regularly and shop dressed. I never had a problem. When I started dressing again, a few months ago, I felt very nervous. I just have to get my confidence back

[jacques]

hello Kay,
the way I conquered my fear of shopping was to go shopping; now I find it hard to stop.
The one thing I learnt was that Shop Assistants are trained to be interested in your money, so they cannot afford to miss a sale by judging you.
luv J

[Leslie Mary S]

I think Vanessa hit the powder puff directly on the nose with:

I think that fear is the child of ignorance.
When I say ignorance is not an offense but a description of your actual state of knowledge on women's stuff.
As Macey say you could make a list.
Another thing is shopping on internet first, learning name on things, etc.
Educate yourself and then you'll find out that nobody cares.
One time I was in drab and got into the womem's fitting room. The clerk didn't see me when I came in first time but when leaving, then I come back again and show how many items I carry inside. She gave me the proper card with a number and walking inside.
I don't know if is the trust I gaming with the time but nobody says a word. So know your task.

[HollyGreene]

I've been buying women's clothes since the 1980s, both for girlfriends or wife, and for myself. In all that time, I can only remember about 3 times when an uncomfortable situation arose.
1) When buying panties for myself and for my girlfriend, I bought 2 different sizes. The SA pointed this out when I went to pay, so I said "yes, they are for 2 different people". By the look on her face, I think she was thinking "wife and mistress'.
2) I bumped into a work colleague in a store when I had a basket full of women's clothes and had to explain. I just said I was buying reduced-price bargains for my girlfriend. Luckily the item on top of the pile did actually have a reduced price tag on it.
3) In a supermarket, I was buying panties for myself. The woman at the checkout picked them up and said "I'm saying nothing". I said "Can I not buy things for my wife?". She said "Really?"
So I replied with. "Yes. They're not my size". That shut her up.

[Jean. Ann]

That twinge of fear is a part of what. makes shopping
so exciting

Jean Ann

[Alexis00]

A woman who works for Nordstrom’s told me in passing that 10-15% of their sales of women’s clothing is to crossdressers. I had a lot more questions to ask. When are the best sales? Do these jeans make me look fat?

I’m also a scaredy cat shopper, Target is manageable. Hopefully I’ll have enough courage and budget to go to Nordstrom’s, I probably look better!

[Stacy Darling]

Throwing that fear out the window may seem to be a reckless comment!

It's how I went forward though!
Stacy!

[Crissy 107]

Alexis, I like the 10-15% # the salesperson at Nordstrom told you. Pretty interesting.

[Miss V]

I recently ordered some shoes online and picked them up in store. I was super nervous.

I was the only man in the store, and when I went to the desk to collect them, people were looking at me like they had never seen a man before. It was quite embarrasing. Even though the shoes were boxed up.

Doubt I'll ever do it again.

[Aneline]

I once had a cashier at a grocery store say in as sarcastic a tone as she could muster "so you just ran out of lipstick" when I mixed a small purchase for Aneline with a grocery shopping trip. I guess I should have shown her my list...
So yeah, I hate buying stuff in stores.

[Eemz]

Miss V - oh that's so stressful. But I guarantee it was at least 90% in your own head. Women send their partners in to collect stuff for them all the time so there's no reason anyone would assume anything else. Half the time we create the stress in these situations ourselves... if people were looking at you they were probably thinking - why is that guy sweating? he looks terrified, what's all that about?

Unless you were in the nip or wearing a gorilla costume, in which case yes fair enough ;)

Next time - just walk in like you own the place, collect your shoes and walk out. Nobody will bat an eye.

If you need to psych yourself up, just role play in your mind while you're doing it "I just have to collect this stuff for the Mrs then I'll go drink beer with the boys, get some chewin' tobacco and cuss a lot". LOL

[Sometimes Steffi]

Once, I was shopping for girls stuff in Sports Authority. I noticed a tall girl (who was definitely a GG) shopping in the men's department. Nothing so unusual, but just from watching her, I got the impression that she was actually buying something for herself that she couldn't get in the women's department because the women's clothes wouldn't fit her.

My wife somehow arranged a surprise all-girl 30th birthday party for me. One of the GGs got me some "sexy" men's bikini underwear. She told me that she was very embarrassed shopping for that. I didn't really understand being embarrassed; as a GG she could be shopping for her husband, son, BF or any man without any suspicion on her. It was all in her head.

Moral. Be confident. Convince yourself that you can shop for anything on the pink side of the store.

As a backup plan, be ready for some funny banter from the SA, like, "I think than will look great on you."

Have a response ready, like:

Oh, you really think so? I do too.

Thanks, but I think it's way to small for me.

or my favorite:

It's for me, but it's not for me.

If the catch the double entendre, this is where they become flustered to talk to you.

And if they're not flustered, then you can talk to them more, providing "Too Much Information."

I've never had to go that far, but I have my script memorized just in case.

[Mermaiden]

I have recently been working on that fear. Encouraged by the wisdom and experience of people from this site I have pushed myself in “baby steps” and purchased female clothes as part of a a larger collection of items using th self checkout line, and worked myself up to buying a dress at a busy store and a checkout clerk. No one blinked. Give it a try and stay cool.

[Crissy 107]

Steffi, Double entendre, just another interesting thing you can learn about on this site. I love it!

The first time I bought nail polish at Walmart, a red and a pink, the checkout lady said, oh those colors will look nice on you. I was embarrassed and thrilled at the same time. I had other things also, just smiled and left.

[Leslie Mary S]

never had any adverse comment from any SA about my purchases since the time I was in Penny's with over $150 worth of Items. There were plenty of people shopping but the check out was almost empty.
We were down to the last two Items and the SA made a statement I didn't like. I just left everything there and walked out with the SA and Store Manager following me. Never went back.

[alwayshave]

Once in Kohl's I had an older women, maybe mid 70s give me the dirtiest look while I was sorting through panties on a rack. Other than that one incident, years of emotion free shopping.

[Ineke Vashon]

I'm not out. I found a way to avoid discomfort when shopping in drab. In Walmart, or other store with self checkout, I fold my purchases in my cart, with the barcode tag on top. Then all anyone sees is me scanning folded items which dissappear into the shopping bag. As yet, I do not own any big girl panties :devil: And that's ok by me.

Ineke

[leotard fan]

hello. when i was a young boy i don´t had fear of buy any female clothing. but since some years ago i have terror of someone note the cloths are for me. good tip macey, i already done that (use a list). eemz, i like your opinion. all opinions help me, thanks for the support!!

[Sometimes Steffi]

I once had a cashier at a grocery store say in as sarcastic a tone as she could muster "so you just ran out of lipstick" when I mixed a small purchase for Aneline with a grocery shopping trip. I guess I should have shown her my list...
So yeah, I hate buying stuff in stores.


Like Vince Lombardi said, "The best defense is a good offense."

You can have a "smart" retort ready, like:

That lipstick is not for me. Do you really think that color would look good on me? I prefer a plum [or whatever your favorite color is] myself [sarcastically].

That will either shut the cashier up, or want to get into a conversation with you.

Note that I didn't even lie, as long as you believe that "me" should be interpreted as "girl me".

[Patience]

[...]Unless you were in the nip or wearing a gorilla costume, in which case yes fair enough ;)Hang on...let me write this down...

[abbiedrake]

I've never had a fear of shopping. I bought my own women's undies at 18. Bought practice wife some underwear that never got worn. And I've bought plenty for my wife, under and outerwear. So shopping for women's clothes? Never been an issue for me. So that extended to buying for myself. I will admit to claiming to an SA that my purchases were for my wife. But recently I shopped for makeup and just straight out told the SA it was for me. I figured she could assist me better if she was looking at what she was dealing with in terms if foundation etc. As a result there are a few shops I'm thoroughly out to despite never having shopped en femme...yet.
I've also tried on women's shoes before purchase. Checkout assistant said nothing. All good.
As others have said the fear is all in your head. I've even made what I consider a friend or two through opening up to an SA. They say they like how open an talkative I am, in contrast to their own hubbys. Sad that.

[ellbee]

She told me that she was very embarrassed shopping for that. I didn't really understand being embarrassed; as a GG she could be shopping for her husband, son, BF or any man without any suspicion on her. It was all in her head.

Not sure if you remember, but a while back on the NB sub-forum, apparently there was a GG who was getting *very* nervous & embarrassed for shopping in the men's section -- considering the purchases were for "her," as they simply felt much more psychologically comfortable & natural in men's clothing.

I recall this person also being very self-conscious, concerned that people would be looking at "her," just *knowing* that they were wearing all men's clothes... When in reality, nobody was probably batting an eye.


While perhaps a bit different than some men's skimpy underwear, your post definitely rings some truth for many... That it can sometimes very well be just in our head. :)

[KatieGG]

I always have to go with my husband to buy clothes. The only time he went by himself, he came back with mens basketball shorts, boxing gloves (wtf lol) some food and a skirt lol.
I think it's funny he is confident enough to go out dressed, and even shopping with me, if anyone paid attention to us they would know we were buying it for him but he can't do it by himself lol

[Angie G]

I shop for myself even really personal things. And it't now big deal. Iv'e had comments on items like I think that will look good on you. I just say I HOPE SO! :hugs:
Angie

[abbiedrake]

Wow, further to my earlier post I just remembered a funny time when I was 18. I once went to Asda and bought 3 items: a Star Trek video, a pot of jam, and my first bra. Christ knows what that cashier thought my evening was going to be like!!
I was living with friends at the time too. Thanks heavens they didn't see what was in my bag. Lol
Erm, just to clarify, I really like toast with jam on... 😊

On a slightly different note I was shopping in male mode today (not 'in drab' I'm a 3-piece suit-wearing peacock ladies! 😃 ) and I hit New Look (a womens clothing store for those unfamiliar), perused the sales racks and picked out a shirt I immediately liked. So I used the fitting rooms for the first time. A small milestone, sure, but a milestone nonetheless. Even better I was able to gleefully report to the SA that I needed a smaller size. Quitting booze continues to pay dividends.

[Sandy Diego]

So far my dressing has so far been limited to bra's and panties. Well I took the plunge this week & worked up the courage to go shopping for the 1st time. I went to Target, because I figured I had to start somewhere. I picked out a cute top and a denim skirt & some thigh high hose. It was time to head to the checkout lines. I was so nervous! I seriously had't thought about that option. It was so easy and quick, I was so happy to get home and dress up in a full outfit for the first time. As I was driving home, I decided I would love a pair of heels and some make-up. So I drove to another Target in town, and got what i wanted. I want home and dressed up and it was fantastic. I strutted around my condo and felt so sexy and proud of myself. net up I'll order a with online. Until then I've been working on styling my short hair in a pixie style. I'm a single bi male, and I wanted so badly to strut my stuff for a man, and show off my new look. It was very frustrating! Sorry for the off topic tangent

[BostonBrenda]

Its a hurdle for most of us, I still struggle but the urge to buy a dress that fits me, to relax and shop for lovely things. Even in guy mode its so harmless. Thanks for all that feedback ladies

[Paula_56]

One of the most liberating moments in my life was for the first time uttering those words “they’re for me” When the words came rolling off my tongue, the world stopped, I could hear the clock ticking and the hum of the air conditioning. I had visions of alarm bells going off and a SWAT team bursting out, but instead I got a smile of approval from the sales associate and a 1000lb burden of guilt was lifted off my shoulders. I had given myself permission to be transgender. It was an epiphany. The problem was in my head, once I got over this I was able to move forward with my evolution as a woman.