what do you want the conversation to be about.....

[mykell]

Also gives them something to discuss after I leave ! lol please keep the tone positive, no need to lay blame or shame.

although in this section most are closeted id assume, this is a public area of CD.com that all can see even when they have no vested interest about what and why we are here.

quite a lot of thought provoking threads going on about this crossdressing thing we do, i pulled that quote out from one as I have a vested interest in it.

now im out to some so im still half in the closet, i started out here in the MtF section and assumed i was a crossdresser, the other section was transsexual, some cringey debates from a feminist member taught me that i was more. then we had the opportunity for a NB/TG section. i felt comfortable there.

so my point, well some folks go out half dressed and some folks claim they are not towing the line, but they are NB/TG.
some folks claim that the closeted CD folks are sullying the reputation of TG folks in general, me ill defend anyone's right to present here as they stay in the rulez.
so for me when i am out im not a card carrying trans member but i represent us in what i believe is a responsible side, i think the non-binary androgynous folks are a tad braver than i am and more comfortable than most.
transsexuals have to be real 24/7 and deal with the awkward stares daily, all in all day long. something for the time being i can only empathize how hard that can be.

so we are a visual lot (Edit):above so when folks see us in the wild and they get back to theyre home and sit around the dinner table (if anyone does that weird thing my family still does) what do you want the conversation to be.

me i like my sky high heels but out in the wild its not an option. i may share pictures in them here but when outside i dress to blend and hope that those conversations lead to normalcy.

when our closeted folks reveal to loved ones i assume most would do a web search and their are all kinds of things they may type in the search bar and results are all over the place, some are scary, some blatantly false, some erotically provocative, whats a person to think.
but if it does lead them here for the most part the place is PG 13.
some of the conversations can get campy which may lead these folks can get an artificial taste of who we really are.

so when you post things here do you ever worry what the conversation around the table will be.

you found your way here so our loved ones may eventually find it too. would you worry they may find some of your posts distasteful.

me ive been here (wow that long) i could say if they went back far enough some of my original thoughts may be silly. but for the most part i think i represent in a positive light....id say 99% is that way but some times i could do a :facepalm:

[Robertacd]

Are you asking if we are worried someone will find our posts here and out us?

My question to them would be "Why were YOU visiting crossdresser websites?".

[Teresa]

Mykell,
It's a lovely thought that I could sit to a family meal and discuss TG issues but it will never happen now as I'm alone .

To sit down for a family meal as Teresa did happen for me as I cooked the Xmas meal for my daughter and her family , TG issues weren't discussed, there didn't appear to be any need as I was dressed but it was good to feel so comfortable that they didn't need any discussion . We just pulled our crackers put on our silly hats , opened our presents and ate and drank too much , NORMALITY !!

I had to smile because looking at your whole thread it's littered with labels, and you talk about who has a problem with who !! As I made the comment about labels being put back in their box and forgotten ( which is a comment you picked up on ) there would be so little to talk about on the forum , so many threads revolve around them .

The best comment I had on Xmas day as we sat down for the meal was my daughter liked the reindeer and snowflakes on my dress , my granddaughter liked the red bobbles for noses but I wasn't so happy where they were positioned on my dress !! ( You guessed it , on my boobs !!)

[AllieSF]

I do not worry what is said around the table anymore. When I was stealth to family, friends and neighbors, I wanted to remain that way. As someone said, why were they looking on this site in the first place? Did you tell them, they found something in the browsing history, etc.???? n Any conversation about me and who I am or how I present, I would hope, would be civil, mature, questioning, honest and direct. Now that they know, I would still want the same thing if the conversation ever got to me. Otherwise, I would hope that the conversation would be natural and open sided/ended so that any topic could be talked about and discussed.

As for reading past posts, yes, that could be a problem for some, maybe even me, but since I can hardly remember what I said 15 minutes ago, I have no idea what I said here back in the beginning years,

[Jean 103]

Well this did happen to me a few years ago. My wife found this site, read my posts. She told me that she found a site composed of SOs of members of this site. She said basically they hate this site. We separated shortly afterwards. I stopped posting for awhile.

I'm out and don't really have any TG problems. If you were to ask my BFF, roommate, or friends they would say the same.

I can talk to them about anything and have. For the most part they don't understand, but they are willing to listen.

That is unless I need an option on which shoes to wear.

I wear heels all the time. My only problem is keeping up with my roommates powerchair when we are shopping in a big box store. LOL

[mykell]

roberta,

im asking how we can alter those dicussions around the tables of folks by how we present ourselves out in the wild for those of us of us who are out,
or for the folks in the MtF section who dont get out they can control those dicussions by what is available to read for folks who make theyre way here.
i always struggle with prose. sorry peeps....

[Asew]

Being a public forum, I initially did censor myself in case someone I knew found me on this site. But over time I came to a "this is me so why does it matter" kind of attitude.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Mykell,
We’re such a diverse group, there’s no way to control how an outsider may perceive us. Wether it be through photos, or simply by reading our comments, an outsider can see it all, and possibly form some sort of assumption about me.
So I’d hope the conversations would be more along the lines of direct questions, rather than assuming I conformed to every single trait presented by the group.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Robertacd]

I guess I don't understand what you are saying.

[mykell]

as for me im a big girl, 6' flat footed, 42" girth, so for me im just happy that i may have inspired a dinner comvesation.
with our diverty lies our strenght and they will invite many differering conversation.
yea i get that alot roberta....

[docrobbysherry]

Very chatty post, Mykell. I only found one thing I could directly respond to. Why would ANYONE that wasn't a CD or the SO of a CD Google "crossdressers"? Just doesn't happen!:devil:

[Kas]

I understand what you’re sayin and completely agree. If a friend or relative to a recently outed person were to stumble on this site, they would most likely end up with a “negative” opinion on crossdressers. This is due to the fact that as you say, the majority of posts in the MTF crossdressing section are very “campy”, talking about how girly they feel, how excited they get over things like lipstick and stockings, where they went shopping last weekend and stuff about attraction from other men.

I have found the longer I have been on this site, the less interesting posts there are, and is now 99% junk-posts.

This site has turned into a Facebook for crossdressers, not somewhere to learn about the subject...

[Beverley Sims]

My conversations at home are usually about what we have done and where we have been recently.

Then it turns to where we are going and what are we going to wear (sometimes).

Then it is the weather.

46.2 C where I am today or 112 F.

[Rochal Tukque]

Ever been a golfing, sailing, racing, sports, religious or or or site. Many of these sites can leave an outsiders the wrong impression and over time quite repetitive. So what's new? As far as being found out if you are a active dresser sooner or later someone is going to find out. Hazards of the occupation!

[Tracii G]

Roberta years ago I was on a guitar forum with a non gender screen name.
I had a few girl pics on my photobucket account but mostly guitar pics.
Anyway one member thought it was his "duty" to out me and post a pic he found on my PB account.
He asked is that a pic of you? Are you a fag ? Whats wrong with you ?
I responded yeah thats me so what? I don't care what you do in your free time.
He tried to get nasty and one guy said hey dude lay off OK this site is for everybody I think she looks kinda cute and has a killer body.
The ahole guy said but its a dude not a girl then people piled on the guy and called him every name in the book.
He eventually got banned and I got to stay and they referred to me as a girl after that.

[Shelly Preston]

I know sometimes people might stare. Mostly that because they don't understand.

This can apply to many groups

Two examples those who have a lot of tattoos and I am sure some of us remember the fashion around punk rock.

Do things get discussed ?

I would have to say sometimes but not often.

[Tracii G]

Punk rock was all about getting stares and being anti social.
I know I was there in the 70s when it was all coming to a head in the music scene.
This was way before MTV.

[mykell]

I understand what you’re sayin and completely agree. If a friend or relative to a recently outed person were to stumble on this site, they would most likely end up with a “negative” opinion on crossdressers. This is due to the fact that as you say, the majority of posts in the MTF crossdressing section are very “campy”, talking about how girly they feel, how excited they get over things like lipstick and stockings, where they went shopping last weekend and stuff about attraction from other men.

I have found the longer I have been on this site, the less interesting posts there are, and is now 99% junk-posts.

This site has turned into a Facebook for crossdressers, not somewhere to learn about the subject...

thanks for getting it, i suck putting my thoughts to words....my friend says i should write a book about my life, it will be a looooong boooooring read.
even in this pg 13 site the concept to have someone come here and understand us is with the content available does not hold the attention of females id think, and we always will have the repetitive ideas being played out, has happened since the sites inception.

for me just being seen outside, whether good or bad, i think there is discussion, good and bad, may not always be at the dinner table but i think the discussion will become more familiar and less vile.
my friend and i went to the movie today, she parks at the car deck on the opposite side of the mall, so as we walked i showed her some of the reactions on folks faces, double takes and such, im big my friend says good looking but ill differ that, but i do double takes myself for all kinds of reasons, so what peeps are thinking when they see us is anyone's guess, and some will make sure you get theyre disapproval with a look or a sound without being out rite rude.

[Allisa]

I would like to think that I gave them nothing to talk about except maybe how well I was dressed "for a man" but NIMBY. I think that we(CD,TG,NB,etc...)have gotten to a point where we no longer merit daily discussion unless it is to learn about a family member and their journey thus learning something about all of us and our place in society. It's a bit cold down here(I'm short), hows the weather up there? I just had to say it,sorry.

[mykell]

well youve always been down to earth so ill have to take that on the chin...but we have had a rollercoaster of weather this week ;) have had interesting talks on the weekends if you are up to the drive.

as i walked the mall i was amazed how many folks are so distracted by theyre devices that they simply accept what they are trained to see with theyre peripheral vision.

if it looks like a women and walks like a women it must be a women, others still scrutinize.

[Patience]

[...]some folks claim that the closeted CD folks are sullying the reputation of TG folks in general[...]How can people in the closet sully the reputation of others? And what about folks of other LGBT demographics who are also closeted?

I guess I'd like people around the dinner table to discuss and realize how some folks are well within their right to stay closeted and how unfair and painful it must be for people to be forced to keep their true nature hidden for fear of reprisals.

[kimdl93]

Let the conversations range far and wide. 99% of every conversation here is relevant to those who find it relevant or interesting. And 99% is irrelevant to those who don’t. I’m sure that defies logic, but so it goes.