A newbie point of view...

[Stephanie D]

I respectfully hope this new thread is received as it is intended to be, ie, informative and very helpful to anyone reading it, and to be able to ask for guidance from those who know:
My comment is and question is this: yes we know that crossdressing is a very complicated subject.
Whether you are single and looking to find someone else's acceptance, or in a committed relationship and hoping to involve/inform your partner, or married and how to broach this topic to your partner/wife/significant other?
It's a VERY loaded question I know, but, throwing it out there, hopefully it encourages someone (like me being new to the forum) to be able to post a question or concern that you may have that may not fit into an existing thread.
I sincerely thank you for being able to post this open topic!

[kimdl93]

If you’re asking what’s the best way, depending on situation, I’d start off by observing that it’s a matter of probabilities, and humans are demonstrably bad at guesstimating odds. Gicven that limitation, I’ll forego giving odds and suggest the following:

single: go out dressed appropriately for the venue, meet and engage people. That seems likely to filter out those clearly uninterested from the pool.

committed relationship: if this aspect of your identity has been hidden or only recently realized, tread lightly. Beware of overestimating the degree of tolerance, should it exist, and if any progression is to be made, let it be driven by your partners overt actions, not by any euphoric or obsessive desires on your part. Caution, delay, reconfirm, consider all consequences, measure thrice and cut once...

[Cynthia_0101]

There could be a hundred and one ways to try and broach the subject of your Crossdressing to a SO. It would all depend on the people and situation. In my case, I knew I had to just come out and say it only 5 months into the relationship becuase everything I had heard to that point was that Crossdressers could not have decent relationships.

I knew there was no way I could continue on with the relationship without her knowing. But to everybody else, there is a time, place and way to do it. It will be different for all.

Cynthia

[Leelou]

Hi Stephanie, welcome! That's a great question. If one is single and looking, I'd say just date and see where things go. If it gets to the point of a commitment, that's when it should come out. Some women can accept us. I've been out with women that accepted me, but I know that's not always the case. It's best to know right away. Even though I've never been rejected because I dress--backdoor brag.

As far as coming out after the long term relationship has been established or marriage, that's a whole different deal. Sometimes it works, though.

[Kas]

“Accidentally” leave some of your fem clothes around the house. Go from there.

Worked out for me!

[Teresa]

Stephanie,
It may be better to write you Cding history down, how it started what drives it , where you are now and truthfully what youi would like for the future . Don't BS just be honest with yourself , you may find it a revelation and even answer some of your own questions . When the time comes to open up to whoever concerns you at least you can show you have given it some thought and taken the trouble to write it down . Women often put great value on this and the honesty behind it , the other point it avoids is starting the conversation and finding you're stuck for the right words , there's nothing worse than blurting out something that can be taken totally the wrong way .

No one can predict how coming out will go , we all think we know our partners BUT ! WE DON'T !! We hope and think they will love us no matter what but it is a huge life changing revelation , to you it may be an occasional change of style of clothes but the questions posed may go much deeper . So also be ready for the obvious questions of being gay or wanting to be a woman . The other important point is don't make promises you can't keep , if you can't truthfuly answer some of them then say so because she won't forget what you say in a hurry .

I appreciate it's a question that is asked often but one that does have to be thought about carefully , also take care about other member's stories , their lifestyle will be different to yours , what worked for them may not work for you .

I wish you good luck in what you decide , It is one of the hardest things a man may have to do in admitting he's not the man everyone thought he was .In most cases the inevitable has to happen , to me the closet was like solitary confinement eventually the words had to be said before something drastic happened .

Kas,
Not sure if that's a good idea , for me it would have been lighting the blue touch paper and waiting for the explosion !

[GaleWarning]

There is a 'sticky' at the top of this section entitled, "Tips to an SO's acceptance", which contains 15 pages of informative comments on this subject.
Please read it!

Greenie started the thread for the benefit of crossdressers on this site, and the moderators made it a 'sticky' because it is such an important topic.

[Beverley Sims]

I was going to say ask pertinent questions and skate around the issue a bit but the previous post is too good to pass up.

Read the sticky referred to by Gale and then you may need to ask some more questions after that

[Di]

Check out the sticky’s in the Loved Ones Section / Telling lies
And Now I like it and now I don’t .

My bit of advice
Tell her you did not mean to keep it secret but you were confused scared ect the lie is sometimes the hardest to get over for many GGs .
Tell the truth do not listen to the ones saying tell her a little at a time because TRUST ME your wife will just think you are STILL hiding and more lies.
Make sure she knows it’s common and she will prob have lots of questions for months to come.
We have a forum here for GGs to talk if she would like to come here.

[mykell]

this could help,
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner
lots for you to ponder.....

[Tracii G]

What Di posted is the wise way.

[docrobbysherry]

Steph, if you're asking for advice for yourself? U will need to provide A LOT more details of your situation and involvement with whom u wish to tell.

Otherwise, any and all advice u receive from us will be generic and possibly useless!:brolleyes:

[cdsamswife]

I agree with Teresa........ Kas's idea of leaving out articles of clothing might not be the best idea. Thats how I found out about Sam... but Id rather not have found out that way and had to confront him about it. Not to mention my immediate thought was that he was cheating on me and not that he wore it himself... getting extremetly upset was an understatement. theres other threads as others have pointed out but the best way i think is still to have an honest conversation with your significant other.. or write it down for her/him. Dont just spring it on them or leave things to be ambiguous. Good luck!

[Alice B]

It really helps to know you SO/spouse and how their thought process works. It the case of my wife, she likes to consume information via reading. Once i decided that I wanted to CD I read all I could find on the subject and then printed out all that I thought was improtant for my wife to read. I then sat down with her, told her what I wanted to do and then gave her all the material to read. Two days later we talked about it and arrived at a working situation. This was a very unusal way to go about things, but for me it worked. As time went on she became more confortable with my dressing and I gained more and more fredom to express myself. The point of this long response is COMMUNICATION. Without it your dressing bevcomes more problamatic.

[giuseppina]

“Accidentally” leave some of your fem clothes around the house. Go from there. ...

:yt:
I agree with cdsamswife: this as an excellent way to irritate your partner. :naughty

The rest of the above advice is sensible.

[Devi SM]

Stephanie, your concerns are no new in this forum so feel comfortable that will find a lot of wisdom and knowledge a out it.
My advice a out looking acceptance the best way to move is always say the truth.
I understand that crossdressing is important and serious for you that want to disclosure to your SO or a future one.
I see for many experiences here that many times it evolves as a life style, so a part of the life and is a torture to live hiding part of oneself.
The acceptance for the other side will be depending of the culture, how you expose your feelings and the honesty both have.

[Natalie_]

I'm not nearly as afraid of a girlfriend losing faith in me and leaving as I am of her telling everyone after I reveal the secret. Has anyone had this experience or do GGs usually keep the secret out of respect?