Got Caught again

[Glenda58]

Got caught again but I wasn't dressed. I was editing my photos for avatar late at night when my wife walked up behind me ( I thought she had went to bed). And wanted to know whos picture that was I was staring at. Not thinking what she said I said it was me and that it was a old photo that I found on my PC. And that I was trying to delete it. She wasn't have any of that till I deleted it in front of her plus 2 more.


We know the stories of getting caught. She doesn't talk to me unless she needs something. Plus she want me to go to counseling. But that's not bad because she wants to go after I see them first. So I'm looking right now. This may work out in the end somehow.

The think that gets me is she didn't know it was me.

BTW I still can find them on my PC plus they're all on Flickr.com

[docrobbysherry]

U need to discuss with your SO before u bring in a counselor. Because he/she will need to know where u both stand to help.:straightface:

Do u know what u want, Glenda? Then, tell your SO! Sneaking and hiding is stressful. And, as you've found, if u keep dressing behind her back u will eventually be CAUGHT!:doh:

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Glenda,

I'm siri to hear about what is an undoubtedly stressful situation but if your wife is now open to couples counseling this may actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Good luck.

Elizabeth

[Kelly DeWinter]

There are two things that stick out about previous posts and your DADT, your spouse goes out at times and calls you ahead of time before coming home, so she knows what you do when she is not home. You have had health issues that are serious. She makes you delete YOUR photos and now you are concealing photos online. It's very confusing. It may be time to sit down and discuss in a kind calm manner that this late in life things are not going to change, that your dressing time, photos etc. are a small enjoyment in your life. Talk to your wife about how you feel. Talk about how it makes you feel when you cannot talk to her about what is important to you.

[kimdl93]

I concur with Kelly and Co. Whats the dang point of this whole thing? She knows. You know she knows. She knows you know.....you know she knows you know.....I'm getting dizzy

[Maria in heels]

Glenda...i've read your post several times now, and I too am confused somewhat as to what you are telling us your relationship is. Counseling can be good for the soul, but sometimes there is a totally different outcome .... have you thought about that as well? If she's not talking to you unless she needs something, that doesn't sound very good...So we all will hope for a positive outcome and hopefully you two can work things out

[Beverley Sims]

It must be hard being in a DADT relationship.

Glad you can recover your photos.

[Glenda58]

I told her before we I asked her to marry me that I was a Cross Dresser and she still said yes. Now she wants me to change. This is the first time she said she wanted to go to counseling. Before it was always me not her. Maybe after some counseling we can work something out. Because we all know that it's not going to stop not after 66 yrs of dressing.

[Di]

I’m sorry .
It’s great you told her before marriage but she must not have understood it. It’s not something you can change it’s just a part of you.
So fingers crossed she will find this out after counseling and things improve for you both.
Best Wishes

[Jaylyn]

Glenda are you past the point of setting down with her and both being able to express how each of you feel about the dressing? That's were I would start I trying to get things straight with each other. You both need to agree that both voices need to be heard in a calm tone.
If I were you I really wouldn't be hiding any thing at this point but that's just my opinion. If she finds that you are hiding things from her your being trusted will be out the door for sure.

[Shely]

Yes, the DADT situation is a bucket of mud, but better than nothing.

[alwayshave]

Glenda, my ex-wife always wanted to go to counseling for thing she thought I was wrong about, not crossdressing, she was unaware. When we finally went and the counselor took my side she had a fit and told the counselor she was a quack.

[Sherri_Christopher]

Glenda, what I found troubling about your post is your wife making you delete those photos in front of her. Very heavy handed! I hope counseling works for the both of you.

[LeannS]

Glenda you will get caught sooner or later but you will be. Sounds like you both need to sit down and talk about things.
take care and good luck

[FrannGurl]

I was caught red handed in the worst way by my ex in a similar fashion.

She knew of my dressing, but I was becoming more attracted to men. It wasn't that I hid it earlier in our marriage, the feelings came back and I thought they were gone. I wish a thousand times I could have taken back the hurt I caused her and it actually caused me nightmares for several years.

I was on the computer and sending an email to someone and she walk up behind me and saw every word. At first, she thought it was another girl and then found out that it was me. .We divorced and she outed me to everyone, along with pictures of me...Ive never told anyone about this other than a few women friends of mine. It has caused me a great deal of pain, along with the pain I caused her. If I had one thing I could change or be honest about in my life, it would be this.

My situation was different and Im sure others have stories to tell, but all I can say is talk....be patient...allow HER to talk and let her process it...Please let us know how it goes and let her know how much you love her.

[giuseppina]

That sometimes happens when somebody disagrees with a health professional, Jamie. It's happened to me many times; I take the position the health professional is correct until proven otherwise.

[adelinapa]

This sounds like an awkward situation, and I do not have any experience in it but I do in marriage. In those two things are constant:
Men never want women to change, and they always do
Women always want men to change, and they never do

I hope it works out for you :)

PS double check your flickr, I heard they were starting a big purge of old photos today.

[Stephanie47]

I you told her you are a cross dresser before marriage I'd say you're on a lot firmer ground than the guy who kept it a secret. That being said, most women really do not know their husbands until they have lived with them for awhile. I can understand cross dressing becoming an issue if it is all consuming in a relationship.

Counseling? For whom? And, to what end? If she wants you to go to counseling to "rid" yourself of this "terrible fetish," that is different than counseling for the two of you to come to some mutual understandings. At your age (71?) I would not give up cross dressing. I would hope any wife in a DADT marriage, knowing her husband was a cross dresser before tying the knot, would give her husband adequate time and space for his activity.

Did she ever give you any profound words of wisdom when you told her of your desires/needs to wear women's clothing.

PS: Your avatar picture looks very nice.