Acceptance of long hair and about whatever else

[DTelia]

Over the last several years it seems society is relaxing a lot on fashion, grooming, and hairstyling.

It wasn’t long ago where nearly all white collar type jobs and even a lot of blue collar jobs required men to shave or at the very least have a well groomed mustache or beard.

In the 90’s, goatees started to gain popularity, but people like my wife and I think most women still preferred a clean shave. I know there were exceptions, I’m just talking about what I think was the majority.

Well, beards are the rage and they are not only universally accepted, but women like my wife actually find them attractive now (though she prefers that they are trimmed and cared for).

Hair styles are much more liberal as well. When I go to the gym, half of the men that have hair, have longer hair and half of them have some sort of man-bun. Again, initially, these were frowned upon by a lot of women, but over time have been accepted.

This has been great news for me, because I have been able to go longer recently. I have even thought that there’s more of a “who cares” view and even a form meets function perspective to some extent (why shave, etc when it’s not necessary?). Again...good news for me and others wanting to grow their hair longer.

The only problem are the people who are shaving their heads below the bun, braid, or pony. I’m even seeing women do this. Attractive women with beautiful hair. To each their own, but i don’t care for it....I prefer grow it all or not at all. Because of this, I think this will be a fad, and man buns...longer hair may fall by the wayside.... hope I am wrong!

No need to share thoughts, but curious if anyone agrees.

[Maid_Marion]

I'm lucky that my shoulder length hair dries very quickly. Nor do I have issues with tangling. But for some, it can take a long time to take care of that beautiful hair.

[Robertacd]

I have had long hair all my life. The last time I had short be hair was when my mom made me cut it for my highschool senior photo.

I had hair down to my butt when I was in my 30's. I am in my 50's now and still have sholders leangth hair.

[Macey]

I've had my hair long just about all of my life (except for a stint in the service, of course), wore a scruffy beard for the better part of three decades as well. Was never really a set back for me, although occasionally, when encountering a person who softly disapproved, they would tell me what time it is.

Hey, why keep your hair long? This is the 80's (or 90's, or the new millennium, whatever).

Long hair has gone in and out of fashion for thousands of years now, was never too bothered about what time it is ;)

[Devi SM]

For transition I let my hair grow around 2 years ago.
I didn't pay attention on those years how the tendency on people was but today I see tons of guys, mostly old guys, with long hair. Most of women who doesn't know I'm a trasgender compliment me. One day , the husband took the conversation towards long hair but wife complains about he uncared it but mine was well care. I said that I wasn't happy with the ending curls going out. She said, women care about that and are very picky but men can do whatever, I told her, I'm not a man, then she double look at me and said really? Yeah I'm a transwoman, I said, then she said, that's why your hair is so beautiful, then she add, good thing that you don't paint it, leave as it's, you're handsome, sorry, beautiful...I just laugh...

[DTelia]

It takes a big step "not to care" about what others think...this is somewhat the point of my post. I was too young to really benefit from the 70's look...but I still think today is different. People in the 70's had longer hair, but shorter hair was still viewed as more appropriate, professional, etc.

I think that is changing a bit now, and hope it's more than just a fad.

[Beverley Sims]

I would like to see long hair come back.

It served me well in the seventies, I would get it permed and it only took me ten minutes to come home put on a dress and makeyp and go out again.

[Krisi]

Having one's own long hair would be really nice for crossdressing. The downside is, long hair takes a lot of care. Otherwise, you look like a homeless person who has no way to care for it. The other downside is, you are mor recognizable if you have long hair in male and female mode.

[Tracii G]

I have let my own hair grow out since 2012 and cut it myself twice in that time frame.It is mid back in length.
I always take care of it with the right products.
Do still wear a wig on occasion.

[sometimes_miss]

Over the years, I've observed something very interesting. Seems a lot of women will change their mind about what they think is physically attractive, depending upon the guy. I first noticed it back in the 80's, when I would hear the women I work with complain about men with beard growth being abrasive and very irritating on their skin, to the point that they wouldn't even kiss him. Yet, I would later see them dating guys with the three day beard growth 'style'. When I asked, the response I got was always some sort of, 'Well, it's nice on HIM, so it's okay'. I've seen the same thing happen with other men's styles that women initially HATE but somehow come around and find it attractive if it's on the right guy. I think it all goes back to the fact that what a man looks like, isn't anywhere's near as important to a woman as how much a woman's appearance is to men.

That said, I, for example, would never date a woman with traditional 'man style' length hair, such as the way Halle Berry wears it so often. If you like it, great, but I find it a tremendous turn off, just like most women find men in woman's clothing a tremendous turn off. I love long, straight, silky beautiful hair on women. To each their own, we don't get to choose what turns us on, or turns us off.
Fwiw, I wore a full beard or a Fu Manchu style for about 40 years. When women liked me, they said it looked great. When they got tired of me, seems the beard annoyed them.

[DTelia]

That said, I, for example, would never date a woman with traditional 'man style' length hair, such as the way Halle Berry wears it so often. If you like it, great, but I find it a tremendous turn off, just like most women find men in woman's clothing a tremendous turn off. I love long, straight, silky beautiful hair on women.

While I prefer longer healthy hair on a woman, I’d she doesn’t look good with it, then I’d rather her wear what’s best for her.

But when longer hair is best for their look, I totally agree.

[Lisa LIckorice]

I’ve had long hair since I was 15. I’m a musician and it comes with the territory, so maybe that’s why no one has ever questioned it. I’m so much for conscious of my shaved legs thinking people will think that’s weird.

[Devi SM]

Lisa, what you just write about long hair is so true.
All the time people, when in male, ask me if I'm a musician, I'm actually one but the purpose of long hair was my transition.
Probably If i would answer that I'm trasgender thst people would shut. Lol
When I was younger, had so many bad thoughts about guys with long hair but one day I had the experience of meet and worked with a young guy that at the beginning I rejected, soon he taught me that long hair has nothing to do with gender, social status or sexual preferences.
That guy was a brilliant hacker that just enjoyed reaching the network at a university I was in charge of all IT systems, lately it was smarter to hire that guy have them working at our side, as security of the network. Long hair.

[Maria in heels]

I don't have super long hair but sometimes I alternate with it being longer past my shoulders in the back to shaved with a #2 when I get tired of the hair. I also, since 1987, have had a modified MULLET where the top and sides are shorter, but the back is longer. My hair is straight and I have heard recently from women that its "time to get rid of the mullet" and I reply "so should I put it up in a man bun then?" and they stop cold. So I guess that there are still women out there that have their opinions, as well as some guys, but who cares right? Currently i'm still growing the back and the sides and top are getting longer - soon i'm going to start carrying a brush and have the top "permed" and go all out!

[Keira Bea]

There is so much ridiculous male-shaming toxic-masculinity towards men with long hair, from both women and men. I don’t get why. Transphobic bigots say “If men can’t naturally grow breasts and other bits then they can’t ever be female”. Well, I can equally say to any narrow-minded hypocrites who thinks that we shouldn’t have long hair either that if men weren’t supposed to have long hair then we wouldn’t have the natural ability to grow it long. Well, I believe in freedom to be whoever we are so long as we aren’t harming anyone. They’re just insecure.

Throughout history and in many cultures men have had long hair, even today. But I blame long male hair bigotry on bullshit Conservative manmade social gender constructs from different societies. Partly to do with religion, and I think also to do with the military. It has become so intertwined with each other. It is an outdated form of control to suggest that we can’t be military men (real men) if we share similar traits to as they saw as a lowly female. Sissies, wimps, probably even likened to cowards. That attitude still seems to be just as real today.

It is just hair.

[DTelia]

To your point Kiera Bea,

I think the popularity and trend of short hair over say the last 150 years has more to do with the influence and opinions of women. I'm share that military and other factors played a role as well. Long hair just isn't practical in a lot of roles men have historically played. Even in sports...while I would love to sport a pony tail if I was a professional athlete, it really doesn't make much sense for basketball/football players to have it.

But I do agree with you...society is way too uptight about it. I think if men did a better job w/grooming, it would be more accepted. Most men, really aren't.

My mom always said...if you want long hair, take care of it, clean it, trim it, brush it, etc....unfortunately, I never took her up on her offer :-(

[Eemz]

Currently i'm still growing the back and the sides and top are getting longer - soon i'm going to start carrying a brush and have the top "permed" and go all out!

Well if it turns out anything like your avatar photo it'll be great :) Go for it.

But the mullet ... I dunno... grow it out girl, grow it out. MacGyver owned that hairstyle back in the day :) I'd vote for the man bun LOL

[Jennifer in CO]

twenty years ago I had to move my hair to sit down...when it was braided. the braid at mid point (just around the bra strap length) was as big around as your wrist. My wife had it down to about 5 minutes to braid it every morning. At that length (and thickness) I wore the biggest scrunchies and I tried to match the scrunchie color to my shirt/blouse color. So they would be blue, black, grey, white, etc. They would also be lace, taffeta, nylon, or what ever material I wanted. If it wasn't braided, I used barrettes either two medium size on the sides or a large one in the middle. The only comments I ever received were on the length of the hair, not what I tied it off with or held it back out of my face with.
Today, my avatar is kind to me as that image is quite old and its even shorter now (and all grey). But every now and then I'll dig out one of the big beasts and tie off the braid with it. Just to reminisce...

[Asew]

I am growing my hair out now and also had long hair back in the 90s. I feel like there is a similar amount of acceptance. Both times some people tell me to cut it, but otherwise no issues. Also I don't understand the styles with the undercut, you lose volume but I guess it is easier to wash.

[abbiedrake]

This strikes me as another thread that highlights the differences in where we live. This is me walking on eggshells, but it seems a mostly American preoccupation. Sure, here in Britain in the late 60s and the 70s there was the usual slagging off of those with long hair as somehow less manly but since then I don't think it's been such an issue here in Blighty. No-one cares. Well, that's not strictly true, but there are apparently laws against culling the stoopids. Even the example of athletes. DTelia, when you mention football you mean what we call American football because in Association Football playerrs haven't stopped sporting any manner of hairdo for decades. Even our rugby players have long hair quite often. With the military there are far more practical considerations so the point's moot.
I just fail to see why it's even a point of discussion. It typically isn't. The only time I hear it come up is usually in reference to the likes of man buns. And that's because the commenters typically have something prejudicial to say. But it's vanishingly rare. People have better things to worry about for the most part.
Now if you're talking about long hair worn in a typically feminine style then that's essentially going to be viewed in the same way all CDing is. And that's a different question.

[Sherri_Christopher]

I always preferred having my hair long and except for when I was young and my dad gave be brush cuts (I hated them!) and when I was in ther service, I've worn my hair long. For the past 27 years. I've had it long, past my shoulders and down my back and I wear it in a pony tail most of the time, except for when I CD, when I wear it down. As long as I have it, I'm keeping my hair long!

[Robertacd]

I think it really depends on your career and to some extent where you live.

I am an Engineer, so my hair really doesn't come into question. Even though I do have to interface with high level customers when they visit our lab.

But of course if I wanted to go into management, sales, marketing, or even applications engineering I would have to cut it. Not worth it to me.

Living in the Northwest seeing men with long hair is pretty common since the 60's and I can't say that I have ever got any hassle for my long hair when DRAB around here. But when I was visiting home back in the Midwest a few years ago I was using the urinal in the mall restroom and a couple rednecks came in and one of them said " Duh..., I thought I was in the wrong bathroom for a minute there. Huck huck".

[AllieSF]

I also have not seen much negative comments about long hair on males, especially those types of comments where they infer that long hair is not masculine. Hair styles, length, color and how it is cut/styled have changed considerably since I was a young child. However, in my teens long hair on males became the go to style for some. At that time there was some push back from some. Even after that phase had ended, so to speak, some males continued to wear long hair, even in many of our USA professional sports. In contact sports that can become a problem because sometimes long hair gets intentionally or unintentionally pulled. So, I believe that the majority stay with shorter hair. I think that long hair on males in most populated areas of the USA is accepted or at least tolerated by most.

[lorisdream]

Mine is about mid back length now days. No issues at work from anyone. I even have a lady that braids it every single day for the past 2 years. On the days when I wear it down, some will ask if I have changed hair styles. I love the fact I can change my hair style from day to day if I choose. I am attempting to attach a recent photo; hopefully it works. 301496

[Leslie Mary S]

Until about 1991 I wore a military cut, not a buzz cat. Then I let it grow along with my beard and stach. by 1993 I was doing the Santa Thing professionally. come 2002 the face hair came off. My hair is now about 12" long. Just can't get it any longer.

301499
Yep the curls are natural.

[biancabellelover]

I agree with Abbiedrake. Hair length seems to be an American issue. In Australia very few people could g.a.f. about hair length. In any workplace it’s okay, as long as it’s clean and kept in an OH&S safe fashion.

I would agree that the U.S. military has gone overboard with short hair. Last time I worked with them (2007), anything longer than a number two was frowned upon, and clean shaven was preferred.

Michelle

[Leslie Mary S]

I agree with Abbiedrake. Hair length seems to be an American issue. In Australia very few people could g.a.f. about hair length. In any workplace it’s okay, as long as it’s clean and kept in an OH&S safe fashion.

I would agree that the U.S. military has gone overboard with short hair. Last time I worked with them (2007), anything longer than a number two was frowned upon, and clean shaven was preferred.

Michelle
Clean Shaven is from having to wear gas masks, you can't get a good seal to your face with a beard. You need a medical waver or religious waver to wear a brard or even a long 'stash.

[biancabellelover]

Hi Leslie,


Clean Shaven is from having to wear gas masks, you can't get a good seal to your face with a beard. You need a medical waver or religious waver to wear a brard or even a long 'stash.

Sorry, no.

Firstly, by "clean shaven" I meant the haircut. I.e. shaved bald head. I didn't think I had to make that clear, as we were talking hair length.

Secondly, regarding the whole beard thing and gas masks: While "Clean shaven for gas masks" is the usual reason trotted out so that soldiers have their faces clean shaven, the claim is doubtful. Israeli army soldiers can have facial hair, some European armies allow long hair and facial hair, many Navies around the world allow their sailors to have beards, and many police forces around the world allow facial hair. All these forces use gas masks.

Cheers,

Michelle.

[Leslie Mary S]

I once went to the gas chamber and there were a couple men who had beard weavers, Guess what? they had to leave the building because the gas got to their face and lungs very quickly. If you don't want to shave you get the gas.

[biancabellelover]

Good for you Leslie!

What can I say? I've also done (more than enough) gas training. I was also clean shaven, but so what? All we've done is prove both of our personal experiences with in my case an Australian gas mask and in your case (I'm guessing) a gas mask issued to the USAF.

But I can guarantee you that my statements regarding other nations and other armed forces is correct. Some of those armed forces simply require that you're "clean shaven" when operationally required. While in barracks and on some operations facial hair is allowed. Some of those forces have requirements so that the beard is trimmed so as not to interfere with the seal, and some of those forces have gas masks that seal with a beard (the recent Canadian gas mask is a good example).

Further, there are "beard friendly" gas masks, as well as techniques to seal your mask while having a beard.


But as I said in my earlier reply: My reference to clean shaven was on the HEAD and not the face.

Michelle.

[susanmichelle]

I have had long hair most of my life it’s about a foot or longer now and I often tie it back into a pony tail. Not only being natural blonde all my life but it’s still natural like 4 different shades of blond mixed too. Part of the reason I grew it out in the beginning was my dad when I was in school insisted on my hair being cut weekly. He made me get a flat top cut for all of high school and most made fun of me then. Now I just get mixed reactions like last October went to a national arts and crafts show here in Louisville Ky and afterwards stopped into an Applebee’s to have dinner and walked in with my hair down loose with my friend a gg and the waitress immediately as would you ladies like a seat at the bar or a table. We just laughed as she then seemed embarrassed even though I’m a cd lol but was still cool

[Molly Wells]

I've been letting my hair grow for about 4-5 months and its getting below my collar in the back and below my ears on the sides. I plan to keep letting it grow till I get tired of it, if ever. The wife fussed at first but I simply told her that all my adult life I have purposely stayed within the "social and corporate" image for a professional in a conservative field. Now, at almost 68 and semi-retired I am going back to my younger days and letting it grow.
I do get some comments from those that I have worked around for a long time. Most comments are good natured and friendly. I just tell them "if you got it, flaunt it!"

Molly

[Micki_Finn]

What I read in this post: “Thank god people are judging me less so I can judge other people”

[Lindsay blonde locks]

Hair is a big thing for me! It's even a part of my username.. My hair is blonde and curly, and I just started growing it out because of the same sentiment you expressed. Society is going towards the "Who cares?" stance when it comes to men and women defying gender norms for hair length. I think girls at my high school even like my hair at its current length (about 5 inches)

[ReneeTD]

I've never worn my hair 'really' short, except when I was a kid and my parents gave me no choice in the matter. As a teen, I had a cousin who wore his hair long, it was the late 70's/early 80's. He was the "cool" guy and I tried to emulate that, but still the parents would step in at some point and push the haircut issue. Usually they wouldn't let it hit the shoulders before the fighting would start. Now that no one has any say in how I wear it, it is terminal length. That is just falling off the shoulders at my age, it won't go any longer. People will comment on occasion, but I rarely hear anything disparaging.

For me, the feminine expression is a daily need even thought I am not out. I address the need via hair length, and whatever underdressing I find appropriate to the situation.