There are wonderful women out there

[Dressing up]

I don't post much but I do get tons of support and advice from this group. I doubt I would have the confidence or progress in understanding myself with out the ladies in this group.

I have feel for all the ladies that have friction from there SO's. Every situation is unique and every SO that has difficulty with our female expression may be wonderful in so many other ways. But I do want to say there are GG's that will love and support us CD's. I am in my mid fifties and have been married twice. My first wife is deceased, and I am still close to my second ex. We did not break up because of my cross dressing. Both my ex-wives supported my cross dressing to varying degrees. The main thing that slowed me down was my concern about being out to others or my kids. I feared risking employment, friends or offending family. I have revealed my CD to few outside of my two ex wives.

The last two years I have been dating a woman, I told her about my CD side after two months of dating. I knew at that point I had something special with her. She was a bit uncomfortable at first, she had not been exposed to this before. To her credit, she read up on the subject and learned that I am a typical hetro-male cross dresser. I do not want to be a woman nor have I ever had a gay relationship. I slowly introduced her to my female side, took over a year to get her comfortable. We also both have three kids, her last one started college and I have one in college and two in HS. I do not want to introduce this to them so I have had limited time to express my feminine side.

Recently, I have been finding more time alone with my girlfriend. She has been helping me with tips on dressing and makeup. We just went on a 5 day weekend. Since we were out of town and I did not worry about running into any one that would make either of us uncomfortable, I was able to dress pretty much all day. I have not tried to pass and I enjoy the clothes and make up. I was not wearing a wig or breast forms, just clothes and makeup. We went all over town, museums, restaurants, shopping even talked with the other guests at the B&B we stayed at.

We walked past a MAC store and she convinced me to go in and shop for concealer and foundation. I loved the experience, I am hooked and have started to wear that every day, even in male mode. She has been trying to get me to go to a pedicure with her. I am a bit uncomfortable due to my toe nails being a bit damaged from playing basketball. I learned that ballet flats are great shoes to wear at the airport since they slip on and off easily at the security lines. She critiques my clothing selection if they don't match. She lets me know if my make up is done tastefully, I am getting better and better. I told her that I believe a day will come when my kids are independent, that I will start to go 24/7. She believes she can handle that. I work had to let her know how beautiful she is and how selfish I sometimes feel that she is walking around town with a MIAD. I know there is a lot that must be difficult for her.

I don't know how I have gotten so lucky, but I just want to say to any of you ladies that find yourself frustrated finding love and understanding, don't give up. And for the ladies that are in relationships without acceptance, I just hope you can find a way to a more peaceful future.

[Jaylyn]

Good read and I agree with you many women are out there that probably support our dressing. Some dressers like
myself are married to the loves of our lives and have had times we were supported by them and can do some dressing but limits apply as in my case. We have a great marriage but we have to have both sides give and take a little.

[Patience]

I’m happy for you.

Thank you for your post.

[DTelia]

Sounds like you have a winning relationship. Here's my question...on one hand you state "you don't want to be a woman", then you state that she's ok w/you going 24/7, aren't these contradictions?

My one concern w/this hobby is that it is a slippery slope for many. I've read several accounts that didn't think they would CD, but little by little "need" or want more and more and eventually deciding they must live full-time as women, even transitioning to make that possible. I won't share my opinion of what I think of this...only pointing out what seems like a contradiction in your post.

Best of luck to you, your SO, and family!

[Macey]

So much better when you can share the journey together :)

[Crissy 107]

You are in a nice relationship, enjoy it as you have an obvious gem.

[alwayshave]

Dressing up , Very nice story. I'm glad you have a supportive girlfriend.

[Dressing up]

Thanks for all the response. DTelia, you bring up a good point about the contradiction of 24/7 and saying I don't want to be a woman. One of the concerns of my SO was if I would ever want to surgically or medically change my body. One can never know exactly how the future will play out, but I hadn't had those desires yet in life. I think the is a difference between dressing and med/surgical changes. The latter would significantly change our relationship to something different. Something neither of us signed up for. I guess that is the distinction in my mind that removes the contradiction. I hope others here enlighten me if I am missing something.

In a truly liberal society, we would limit freedoms only to the extent that they interfere with others' freedoms. I try to use that logic with others. I do not see how the clothes I chose to wear directly impacts those around me. I think I have always dealt with others perceptions and feelings about how I should behave. I think I am becoming less inclined to do so.

I wish I knew where this all leads. But I hope I can always keep caring people in my life.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes, an interesting read and I feel you have been lucky getting your wife on side.

You are wise not involving the children but to conduct yourself correctly when you go away on holidays, do dress convincingly, it is much easier.

[sometimes_miss]

Sounds like you have a winning relationship. Here's my question...on one hand you state "you don't want to be a woman", then you state that she's ok w/you going 24/7, aren't these contradictions?

My one concern w/this hobby is that it is a slippery slope for many. I've read several accounts that didn't think they would CD, but little by little "need" or want more and more and eventually deciding they must live full-time as women, even transitioning to make that possible. I won't share my opinion of what I think of this...only pointing out what seems like a contradiction in your post.
Nope. Wanting to be a woman, and wanting to dress like one, are completely different things; after all, there are a whole lot of women who prefer not to dress like one; look at all the women who prefer to wear sweats instead of getting all dolled up in fancy dresses, fixing their hair and make up.
I'll leave it at that. I don't want editing to change the meaning of what I write.

[JulesLynne]

I’m happy to hear this story! Just make sure that you go out and pamper/spoil her every once in a while. Like you, I just had my very first experience in a MAC store and it opened me to a whole new world. I was blown away by how those brushes felt on my face and my wife remarked that she loves the MAC brushes. Guess what she’s going to get for a gift - some MAC brushes.

[Leelou]

Great post, thanks for sharing! You obviously have found a wonderful and accepting woman. But,(isn't there always a but). you've only been with her for two years. And more importantly, from what I can tell you intend to keep this from all of the children on both sides? For a while?

[Tracii G]

Very good post and yes there are some wonderful women out there in real life.

[Keira Bea]

Wonderful thread. I have recently gotten to know a lovely lady. We are just friends but she has totally accepted my crossdressing. She has offered to take me on my first girl’s night out at a theatre, possibly London to see The Rocky Horror Show. She said I would fit right in as other crossdressers will be there too. She has friends who are the same as me, and have done makeup for them in the past. I have recently told some of my family, and they are accepting. Well, my mum is struggling a little bit but understands why.

I now wear full makeup everyday, even in guy mode when I go out. I look and feel so much better. Even my skin health has dramatically improved now I take better care of myself. I don’t get any bad comments as a guy wearing makeup. I am still too shy to go out in gurl mode although I have before recently, because it feels too local and am not that confident enough yet. But this theatre night out with my friend out of town will be a thrilling experience, if it hopefully happens.

[Cheshire girl]

A most interesting post. I’m happy for you. The love and support of a SO is so wonderful. I’m also blessed with an understanding wife who helps check my appearance before I go out dressed and is very helpful with make up brows and general clothing and style tips. Her approval and words “ you look fab” before I go out the front door just give me the confidence that I need. Having other female friends to go out with dressed is great too. I’m sure you appreciate how lucky you are. So many other posts refer to having to CD in secret dreading being discovered. It’s not for anyone to offer advice really but for what it’s worth I’d say don’t push your luck too far. Your wife will probably still want to relate to you in full male mode. I ensure we have lots of that time too and don’t go on about my femme side too much. Enjoy and cherish your good fortune.xx

[t-girlxsophie]

I'm in the same position,my wife has been understanding and supportive from day one, she knew from the start so that helped a great deal.Im so blessed as are others like me who have that love and support

Sophie