If it's what I want and had hoped for why am I so scared?

[somestimeskaren]

I've gotten an Invitation to a meet and greet evening with other crossdressers. I've never met the couple who extended this Invitation (a cd and his girlfriend) but they were given my e-mail address by someone I've been in contact with who does M to F makeovers. She said if I had any questions about them to contact the studio. There was a get togeather in Dec in conjunction with the makeover studio that I couldn't attend, that invitation came from the studio. I've wanted to meet others with the same interests and feelings and this is my opportunity but I'm scared and I'm not sure why. I've been out for a drive dressed and walked through a parking lot in broad daylight but never sat around with other crossdressers enjoying a glass of wine and talking about this lifestyle. I've been dressed in front of my son but no one else has really seen me dressed. She hopes to have 20 people attend and she said their group range in age from the 50's to 80's,sounds perfect I'm 66.I told her where I live and she said it's a 2 hour drive to their door so I wouldn't have to get out to buy gas I could drive dressed. She even gave me the address of a Best Western 6 min from their place if I wanted to stay overnight.. This forum has shown me that I'll regret not taking advantage of this perfect opportunity to meet others. So even though it scares me I can't let this chance pass me by I'm going for it. I plan to get a room the night before get dressed and go out do some shopping have dinner, be Karen .The next day meet some new friends as Karen. It's time to overcome my fears and live the life I so desperately want. It doesn't happen until late in March so I have some time to get my courage up. Wish me luck.

[Maid_Marion]

Wish you the best of luck!

[RADER]

Karen;
I also was scared to go to a meet up of Cross Dressers and a few that actually have Transition.
No I do not go out dressed, but I am under dressed all the time, I even wear Fem Jeans.
So I went in DAB to some extent, I was not alone, there where several people like me, only dress at home.
There where about 18 people, 4 that have fully Transition. It was an interesting evening, I found out that I was
not alone. Many people have the same feelings as I have.
IN SHORT, GO, I know you will be welcomed, as I was, and if you want to dressed, do it.
In the group I was at, there where 5 not dressed, so I was not alone.
Rader

[Crissy 107]

Karen, This sounds like a wonderful opportunity and I think you should absolutely go for it. I like what Rader has to say about it.
In case you have any questions just read your signature line. Please let us know if you do go and how it was. Good luck!

[TheHiddenMe]

As the Aussies say, "been there, done that."

Fear of change and the unknown is normal.

I was afraid to go out too. I took small steps, first an hour or so out at Halloween, then a day out in San Francisco, and another few hours out on Halloween. I found out the world didn't end, there were no torches and pitchforks, and the sun came up the next morning.

My make or break moment was knowing my wife was going to be out of town for 4 days and I was going to go for it. Get my nails done, have a makeover, try on clothes at a store, and go wig shopping dressed. Did my homework, planned ahead. Went in drab to the Sephora and Nordstrom to make sure it was ok for the makeover and trying on clothes, and both said yes.

So I booked the nail appointment and figured once I had my nails done I couldn't back out on going out dressed (in poker terms, I was pot committed). I went in drab to get my nails done. I had a cover story about a Halloween party (this was late October), but the nail tech was so supportive I fessed up. She was envious. Loved the nails, went home and got dressed up, and went back that night dressed to show the nail tech. She was great.

Next day, makeover at Sephora, absolutely great (I took notes so I now have a routine). Next to Nordstrom; a room with 15 dresses waiting for me, and a couple of sales angels, who have befriended me, to help out.

I have a full write-up on the pictures forum if you want more details.

So I was fearful, but I received acceptance and encouragement. I've joined a local TG group, but have been out probably 100 times since then, including meeting two others from this board.

So by all means, do it. Make the hotel reservation to commit yourself. Make it happen. Otherwise, you'll be kicking yourself.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Karen

The first CD I met FtF was a local girl from this forum. She introduced me to a friend, and they introduced me to two friends.

The first time I went out en femme, I was so scared that my knees were practically knocking.

Now, my 4 friends have turned into 100 friends. On February 16th, I'm meeting up with a few of those friends. Right now, the count is up to almost 40, but there's still 2 weeks to go.

Having people to talk to with similar interests and seeing how they dress and comport themselves is one of the best paths to self acceptance.

While I started out as a "sometimes", I'm now more than sometimes. If my wife didn't hate it so much, I'd be "Most of the time" Steffi.

Go for it.

[Stephanie47]

I would take the opportunity. If your marital status has not changed (single?) and your son has seen you dressed and you're retired I think there would be no or minimal worries about the adventure. The age range of attendees suggests there should be some people in your age range with whom you should have more in common than just being a cross dresser. Decades ago my non accepting wife suggested I should join a support group. I looked. But, there were none to be found in my area in the 1980's. I suspect my life would have been more fulfilled if I had the opportunity presented to you. Give it a go.

[Helena]

Karen,
Nerves are completely normal but this sounds a perfect opportunity. Decent distance from local area, should be warm and welcoming. The hosts will take care of you - make introductions etc.

On my first visit to our group I drove out to this hotel in rural Lincolnshire and nearly drove home, spooked by people from another do milling about, and there seemed to be no obvious entrance. But I reasoned with myself the venue was logically friendly and I'd be with the group once inside. Thankfully as I left the car another lady, possibly sensing my reticence took me through the courtyard to the room being used and I was fine.

Go and enjoy.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes, go if it is a guaranteed safe place, the more you get out the easier it becomes.

[Helen_Highwater]

Karen,

I would urge you to grasp this wonderful opportunity with both hands.

I've written before about attending a support group early on in my CD'ing journey. Walking into the room I felt self conscious, very nervous. I shouldn't have been. I was welcomed and within a minute or so sat chatting to others like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Don't let this opportunity pass by. And yes, get a room, change, go dressed and take the chance to follow that up in the morning. Don't forget to take photos!

[Connie D50]

Karen just do it I think that is a sports slogan. You only live once have some fun, if you have fun and like it (when you have fun and like it). It can (well) open doors to more and more fun outing's. Connie

[NancySue]

There’s fear and trepidation with every step of our journey...the first time you dressed, the first time you went out dressed, the first time you shopped, etc. but it appears you’ve overcome these...so, yes...go for it...a great opportunity to go to the next level.

[Teresa]

Karen,
I'm now waiting for your thread saying how wonderful is was and I should have done it sooner ! No kidding it happens . It would be a shame not to take up the offer as they've done all the ground work for you , all you have to do is get dressed hop in the car and drive .

I found the best way is break it down in stages , each part is completed before you know it you find youself stepping out the car and making you entrance , the best advice there is even if you feel scared try and walk in with a smile it .

I loved staying over but I admit dressing for breakfast was a little daunting the first time . It 's in broad daylight often walking into a crowded dining room , I find you get eyeballed far more than being dressed to the nines the evening before .

[abbiedrake]

Karen, if I believed in luck I'd surely wish you all I could. As has been said fear and apprehension in new situations are to be expected. Try to remember, as a worst case scenario, it's better to regret something you have done than something you didn't (and can't later change.)
Allow me to add to the voices of encouragement. Get out there, put something in (you usually get more back), and just enjoy it.
Like Teresa, I can't wait for your inevitable 'it was great!' thread.
Go for it!

[Ressie]

I've been to many meetings and most are nervous their first time. You'll never know unless you go!

[carhill2mn]

Of course, it scares you! You have never done this before. We all were scared when we first started going out of the house but the fantastic feelings you will get will be worth it. It is said that you only regret what you did not do. Go and enjoy!

[abbiedrake]

Hey Carole if we only regret the things we don't do why do I still regret saying 'I do' to my practise wife? Lol 😉

[Leslie Mary S]

Get that room now, you should get a good rate booking this early. GO!. I just returned from a small gathering and had a good time. I only wished was that I could have stayed for the whole weekend.
I have a post that details a lot about the trip over and back (4hrs each way) but it say little about the meeting, Just that I was there. I found that after I finished getting ready in the car that I was totally comfortable with being me for the 36 hours.
It was after I got home that I stated getting some shacks search out and read "The Hippo is out and about".
The I saw some photos and became super critical of myself. I knew I could do far better. It was the worries that caused me to blow it.

[Micki_Finn]

I think it’s a good idea for most girls to get out to some sort of social event like this. That being said: if cross dressing is all you have in common, then that’s all you have in common. I see a lot of girls on this site who seem to be under the impression that if they could just meet another dresser in real life there will be some kind of magical bond. Cross dressers are like everyone in that some you’ll like, some you won’t. With some luck you’ll find someone you get along with but don’t expect to magically make best friends just because you’re both wearing dresses.

[Victoria StJohn]

Karen, what a perfect opportunity for you. I know you will do it and go home a very happy lady. We will be looking forward for your comments after. Photos maybe? Cheers!

[Shayla]

Go for it. Nothing to lose!!

[Paige Dehart]

Karen, This seems like an oppertunity to get out in a safe and somewhat controlled environment, but, Micki is right and has given some good sound advice.

[Lana Mae]

As they said in the '70s, just do it!
When at Keystone, the people that I talked with discussed CD/TG things and other things as well! Just go with it! You will have a great time and just relax as best you can! After the initial "hump" it gets so much better!
Wishing you the best!
Hugs Lana Mae

[Tamsin Secret]

If it helps, I will be doing something similar for the first time in a couple of weeks. I'm so excited but nervous. I'm going to do it though, I don't know when the next chance will be.