Trying to go from DADT into Lounging around in Frilly Nightgowns

[Robbiegirl]

Anybody have any success or ideas on how to go from DADT to the point where you are lounging around in fun and comfortable frilly Nightgowns ?

Since so many women now wear Pajamas to bed it seems harder to convince them that waltzing about in a nightie is way more comfortable but Maybe its worth a try ?

I'm wondering if I just put on one of her princess Olga nightgowns that she never wears if i can convince her its all about the soft material and comfort ? Yes I will get bombarded with laughter and teasing for sure but maybe it will work in the end ? Any Thoughts ?
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[Crissy 107]

Robbiegirl, I like your idea but not so sure how it will go. Good luck and report back!
BTW, I love all of the nightgowns.

[Anna Stouf]

I have tried this twice and both times the end result was divorce. Two of my four divorces began when I was caught wearing a nightgown. In one she came home unexpectedly and I was standing in the kitchen with nowhere to go, and in the other I came out of the bedroom wearing a nightgown thinking’s that, based on what said earlier, it would be okay. It was not. Never believe what a woman says.

The other two divorces were also CD related but did not involve nightgowns.

[Beverley Sims]

I think the idea is fraught with danger, I would try a pair of satin pajamas in a pastel blue colour first, if the reaction is bad back pedal.

If you get a favourable reaction, after about a week try a more feminine look maybe pink or something with flowers.

If it is still a favourable reaction after about another month or so something frilly.

After about six months you may be able to wear a nightie.

Note...... It doesn't happen overnight or even a month. :-)

[Macey]

Is this a little like wearing a surprise cheerleader outfit? Robbie, darling, you know your wife, so take anything I say with a grain of salt, but I might try "Honey, I think I'd like to wear one of your nightgowns." Or possibly "Dear, I really think I'd like to sleep in a nightgown so I'm going to buy one for myself. I'd feel more comfortable being 'me'. Can we talk about that?"

[mykell]

DADT meant "IDWTSI" I Dont Want To See It" for my wife.....i volunteer, have my own trans group, we can talk about things, i shave my body, but she still does not want to see "it",

dont do anything you will regret.....talk about it first....but im guessing she would not like to see you lounging around in frillies....

[Tracii G]

Start the discussion and see how she takes it.

[Kandi Robbins]

You have a unique relationship with your wife. How could you possibly think anyone here could offer any suggestions?

Talk to her. Be open and honest. Nothing said here will change that. Common sense is always the best way to go.

[Sara Jessica]

You go girl! Give it a whirl and let us know how it goes.

:ale:


I have tried this twice and both times the end result was divorce. Two of my four divorces began when I was caught wearing a nightgown. In one she came home unexpectedly and I was standing in the kitchen with nowhere to go, and in the other I came out of the bedroom wearing a nightgown thinking’s that, based on what said earlier, it would be okay. It was not. Never believe what a woman says.

The other two divorces were also CD related but did not involve nightgowns.

Your story is infinitely more interesting, or more teachable, than the premise of this thread. It should make anyone in a relationship that has a variant of DADT feel very lucky.

When are people going to realize that women don't dig this thing of ours being shoved down their throats?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Robbie :hugs:, See line #4 in my Signature first. >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[Ressie]

The answer is: Don't start with DADT. Show and tell at the beginning, before the relationship gets too serious.

[Oldlvb]

I wear nightgowns every night but it took a long time to get there. I would suggest having a talk to your wife before showing up in a nightgown.

[Aunt Kelly]

Surprise, and other games, are extremely unlikely to produce the desired results. My recommendation, as always, is open and honest communication. You mention DADT so the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, so if you want to change the terms, say so. Don't make a unilateral change as you appear to be considering.

[erinna]

I'm not so sure about the surprise thing and especially wearing her clothes without permission.

I've come to a sort of compromise on loungewear. I have some unisex satin pants and some of those athletic type sports shirts that are rather silky. Underdressed in some panties (which she is actually ok with). Its not such a shocker for her and stress free for me.

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I have gone the opposite direction. We went from I wearing sexy negligees to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Early in our marriage I explained to my wife when she found me wearing one of her nightgowns that I loved the feel of the soft nylon. Negligees were added to bedroom play. Then some hosiery and a garter belt. When my interests developed further and we had "The Talk," she was totally turned off. I still have one of my pink peignoirs from the early 1970's and the white peignoir she found me wearing one night. It would be nice to be able to wear them once again.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Don't wear her nightgown (or any of her clothes). Wives do not like it when their husbands wear their clothes (without permission), it never ends well. Seriously. Ask the GGs here.

Short of sleeping in separate rooms, unlikely she will ever tolerate it. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[Krisi]

Keep in mind that you will look nothing like the models in those photos. You will look like a dude wearing a woman's nightgown.


So let me tell you how I did it: My wife runs around the house in sack dresses. Nightshirts, perhaps. Dresses with little pigs or puppies on them. One day I asked her "How come you're always wearing those sack dresses?" She said "Because they are comfortable." I said "OK, I want one too." Surprisingly, a couple days later she came home and handed me two. Now I have several and they don't have little pigs on them.


I slowly moved up from that to dressing in front of her anytime I want but that's another story for another day.

[Sidney]

My wife knew I wore panties and a bra under my clothes. One night she walked in front of me wearing a long silky night gown and I said that looks like is comfortable and feels good. She says it is and it does. I asked her if she had one that she doesn't wear that I could try wearing. She gave me a funny look and headed to the bedroom returning with a long PINK nightgown and said try this it is to big for me. We still have a few boundaries, she doesn't want to see me dressed in womens outer clothes is the only big one. I now lounge around mornings, even a and sleep in panties, bra and silky gowns or silky PJs. I buy my own now but still occasionally wear the pink gown she gave me years ago.

All that being said I would not "surprise" her. Just tell her that her nightgowns look comfortable and you would like to try one to see if you'd like to see how it felt to wear and sleep in. Good luck and keep us posted.

[docrobbysherry]

Nite gowns r not comfortable to "waltz" around in unless u enjoy freezing!:straightface:

And, when I try sleeping in them I invariably wake up tied in knots!:doh:

[Asew]

Don't assume you can just wear her clothes even if she doesn't wear it often (buy your own or ask permission). A frilly nightgown is a big jump, perhaps start with something simpler like a t-shirt nightgown or a half slip or sleep shorts, etc. Communication, talk about it with her that you want something different to wear to bed.

[Robbiegirl]

Well I listened to all your advise but decided to go for it anyway

First of all my sweet wife and I have never really had the talk. She has seen me put on her lingerie many times over the years and knows i like it but doesn't know the depth. She is somewhat in denial and almost any lingerie I have put on was stuff I bought her and she wore maybe once. She has made it clear that seeing me in lingerie does nothing for her and she has no interest in wearing it herself.

On to this morning, while she was still in bed I came twirling in showing off the pretty full sweep of the Olga Nightgown
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After much laughter, she said i was crazy ! I then climbed into bed and tried to get her to admit how nice the nylon felt and that maybe she should frilly nighties a new try. She once again made it clear she didn't like frilly girly things. She then asked me playfully the most direct question she ever has which was why hadn't I told her all these stories before about trying on girls clothes growing up. After about 15 mins she asked me to take off the nightie and told me she loved me but to please make sure no one we know finds out about my silly hobby !

Needless to say I won't be lounging around in any pretty nightgowns, when she is around ! Oh well !

[Micki_Finn]

You went against all the advice you ASKED for, then didn’t get the result you wanted. Shocker.

[stephenie3756]

I love all the nightgowns you posted photos of. I would be wearing a different nightgown every night if I owned the collection of gowns you posted. Sorry you did not get the result you wanted when you wore the Olga nightgown. I was out in the open to my wife until she decided she did not want me dressing anymore. So, back underground I went and have stayed. She knows I have a collection of clothing, heels, etc. It was a pure joy when I was able to dress in the open. But, those days are gone. Your wife does not want to see you dressed. You can either live with her decision or leave.

[Maria in heels]

Robbie... I would recommend that in any DADT, you always ask permission before just doing. Thankfully she didn't get very upset with you, and hopefully that wasn't just nervous laughter on her part. AT least it got her talking to you about it somewhat, and you now have the open door...she said that she doesn't want anyone to find out so give it a week or two and then approach and ask her if you can wear one of her nightgowns that she doesn't like around the house ONLY. See where that takes you....

[Beverley Sims]

Play it slow and you may meet with success, your wife was not repulsed by what you wore, you could be like her and wear less esoteric lingerie, get her to the point where she doesn't laugh at you and accepts what you wear without comment.

[rhonda]

Looks like you got something started hope it goes well for you and I gotta get me one

[Diane Taylor]

Unfortunately for us, laughter and teasing can be a part of what we have to go through to live and dress as we wish. It can hurt just as much as ridicule but if you don't venture forth and deal with it you'll gain NOTHING and that's worse than laughter or ridicule. Go for it !!!

[Stephanie Julianna]

When my wife and I were first married she tried hard to be a part of my dressing and would let me wear a nightgown to bed occasionally. That only lasted until the first baby came along. A few years ago I told her I would like to get silk or satin PJ's since I loved the feel of the fabric and I would like to sleep in them. Since then I have exclusively worn Alexander Del Rossa ladies satin polyester PJ's and lounge around in them on a regular basis till mid morning when I am not working. I think it's a great compromise and I still get that girly feeling. My wife is just taking it in stride. When we have a sleepover movie night with our grandkids, 3 being girls 15 to 12, I do change into a T-shirt but leave the satin pants on. When they first asked me about it I simply said I like satin and they are very comfortable and make me feel rich. Now it's just a part of who I am to them.

[Robbiegirl]

In my relationship humor is the key. I am known for being quite funny and my wife really enjoys that about me. I wanted her to laugh when I came out and twirled and preened like I had seen ladies in the movies do. I believe humor helps to break the ice in all situations. My point was that i wanted to wear nighties because they are so soft and so fun and of course a bit naughty. So this way i never had to come straight out and say what i wanted and her reaction told me what I needed to know. I mean who wouldn't find it rather funny to see a manly man trying to imitate Grace kelly with the frilly nightie but no wig or makeup
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[ClosetED]

Try watching "The Marvelous Mrs.Maisel" with her. The actress and her mother wear those lovely nightgowns. They may get your wife wear them - how to want to see you in them is another matter.
In Season 2, episode 2, there are some Parisian drag queens - maybe that would move discussions.
They didn't with my wife.
Hugs, Ellen

[Alice B]

If a litle laughter and kidding is the worst that can happen go for it. If you have no idea what the treaction would be, forget it

[Sara Jessica]

I mean who wouldn't find it rather funny to see a manly man trying to imitate Grace kelly with the frilly nightie but no wig or makeup?

Ummm, many if not most women would find this scenario horrifying in their partner.

[Robbiegirl]

Try watching "The Marvelous Mrs.Maisel" with her. The actress and her mother wear those lovely nightgowns. They may get your wife wear them - how to want to see you in them is another matter.
In Season 2, episode 2, there are some Parisian drag queens - maybe that would move discussions.
They didn't with my wife.
Hugs, Ellen

Ed, Oddly enough we do watch the show ! And after my little performance the other morning my wife remarked to me that she bet I wish she would wear pretty Nightgowns like the ladies on the show do ? I responded " you bet " enthusiastically and she responded with a laugh " fat chance and you really need to get out of the 50s " !

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[Jodie_Lynn]

Since so many women now wear Pajamas to bed it seems harder to convince them that waltzing about in a nightie is way more comfortable


Who are you to determine what is more comfortable for a woman to wear? You post a lot of threads about what YOU prefer, but how does that translate into determining what others should do?


A classical example of male entitlement. YOU have fantasies and desires, and you feel that the woman in your life should acquiesce to your needs, regardless of HER needs, desires, or comfort levels.


If you try to force your needs on your S/O, you will NOT like the results. She is a person, not a convenient fetish dispenser. If you insist on pushing YOUR desires over HER objections, you will NOT "win her over" to your way of thinking, but instead, will drive her further away.

I know that this is not going to be received favourably by the community, but reality outweighs fantasy, in my opinion.

[Robbiegirl]

Thank s for your comments Jodie.

I agree I am an idiot ! I bought into the version of women that I saw on a daily basis on TV. Many of us came from a generation where men and women didn't live together before marriage so all we knew was the dating version of each other.

As the popular TV show Mrs Maisel show us even today, women seemed to love wearing pretty negligees. Thats what I thought i was getting ! I didn't think this was a fantasy I stupidly believed this was the reality.

Of course I want my wife to be happy and comfortable.

[Ressie]

There was a guy on the radio who said he bought lingerie for his wife's valentine gift. She told him to take it back! No more lingerie for her.

[Krisi]

You went against all the advice you ASKED for, then didn’t get the result you wanted. Shocker.

It's funny how often that happens. ;)

[Jodie_Lynn]

>>SNIP<<
When are people going to realize that women don't dig this thing of ours being shoved down their throats?


Thank you!

People, in general, feel that their own personal viewpoint is paramount, often forgetting that they share the planet with others. Others who may not agree with our own personal opinion and/or worldview.
Where do we draw the line between what is good for "us" (general pronoun applied to various worldviews), and what others are comfortable with?
I'm pretty sure that most of us have seen the viral video of the transwoman going apeshyte ballistic over being mis-gendered in a convenience store. Does anyone feel that she is a positive representative of the CD/Transgender community?


Sometimes, we have to accept that how we see ourselves is not going to be accepted by the rest of the world. Or should we just say "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead"?

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Thank s for your comments Jodie.

I agree I am an idiot ! I bought into the version of women that I saw on a daily basis on TV. Many of us came from a generation where men and women didn't live together before marriage so all we knew was the dating version of each other.

As the popular TV show Mrs Maisel show us even today, women seemed to love wearing pretty negligees. Thats what I thought i was getting ! I didn't think this was a fantasy I stupidly believed this was the reality.

Of course I want my wife to be happy and comfortable.


Robbie, please don't think I'm trying to shame you, you like what you like and you want your wife to participate. That's fine, but don't push the limits too hard, you might not like the rebound.

As I read on another site, regarding dating issues: "No does not mean 'try harder'."

[Robbiegirl]

Ummm, many if not most women would find this scenario horrifying in their partner.

I always tended to date gals that appreciated my large sense of humor. Everyone of them enjoyed seeing a guy try to put on things like their lacy Bras, Undies and stockings. The key was making sure they felt I was doing it to entertain them and be playful. I left it up to them to determine in their minds how much I was enjoying the experiene

[krissy]

Im in a dadt relationship have been for 39 years hate it I dream of a time I can be myself around her but I don't think it will ever happen so good luck I hope you can get what I have always wanted:hugs::chained:

[Maid_Marion]

It may not be what you really want, but Carole Hochman sells comfortable nightgowns and robes. From XS to 3X.