why do people think c/ds are gay ?

[hiede]

im 6.3 tall 225 lbs i have loved to wear pantyhose, pantys,bras,nighties, my whole life i dont love other men i love my wife but she thinks im gay i like to wear pantyhose to bed and have sex in them she thinks im gay at least i see on this site there more people in the same boat i am not homofobik i dont think i spelled it right but im not a sientist i really like alot off the pics you guys (girls) send in you all look sweet i wish 1 day i may have my pic on this site dressed in drag love it later

[hiede]

:eek: :)
im 6.3 tall 225 lbs i have loved to wear pantyhose, pantys,bras,nighties, my whole life i dont love other men i love my wife but she thinks im gay i like to wear pantyhose to bed and have sex in them she thinks im gay at least i see on this site there more people in the same boat i am not homofobik i dont think i spelled it right but im not a sientist i really like alot off the pics you guys (girls) send in you all look sweet i wish 1 day i may have my pic on this site dressed in drag love it later

[Abraxas]

I think they think male CDs are gay because they can't understand wanting to express their feminine side, if they are a guy.
If a guy is called girlie when he is a boy, it's extremely offencive. Like they're not worthy. And that's crap, but it's just how the world is.
If you think about it, though, in the Rennaisance, the men wore the high heels and tights. Maybe male TVs aren't crossdressing, they're just reverting to a society where things were simpler, more artistic, and maybe even better.
Then again, maybe not.

[hiede]

in the animale history the males are always the most colorful , standout, goodlooking .i feel we shoud be the ones wearing the standout clothes .i love women. i wish we could all dress the same without all the negs. about it .have fun later

[Sweet Susan]

I think it's natural for people to think men are gay if they wear women's clothes. Particularly when it is further investigated and they find out that many men (pointedly called transvestites) get sexual satisfaction out wearing women's clothes. Just because crossdressers think they aren't gay doesn't necessarily mean they are straight, either. This is really a rather deep subject, and I'm of the opinion that it all boils down to a premise that there really is no such thing as sexuality, that we do what we do and that is what we do.

Julie very smartly mentioned the reverse, that how would we feel if our women wanted to wear men's clothes and look and act like a man. How would we react to that? From experience, I can tell you that that too is an interesting situation. A year before my wife and I got married and just weeks before I told her that I was a crossdresser, she told me she didn't want to shave her legs. One night while we were in bed doing our thing, I noticed that she had some lengthy stubble on her legs. The next day I asked her about it, and she said that before she met me she hadn't shaved her legs in months, and she wanted to quit shaving them. Would I mind? Call me bizzare, but it excited me. In less than a month she was a wooley mammoth. For the next year she didn't shave her legs or her armpits. The hairier her legs got, the more I got used to it and liked it. I could write for pages about why I liked it, but that is not the purpose of this entry.
I never once thought about her as being gay because she didn't shave her legs, and I never once asked her to shave them. To be honest, though I didn't tell her, she wasn't the first woman I had been with who didn't shave her legs. The other three weren't gay either, but they all four had the same thing in common, and it wasn't that they were lesbians or gay.
I think if we all had the courage to let down our inhibitions we would find that we are very capable of having homosexual sex and having it comfortably. I also believe that men who think crossdressers are gay are fearful of their own sexuality. Just my thoughts............

[Virtue]

Well I don't help towards the case of CD's not having gay tendencies since im bi :p sowwy :rolleyes:

[samanthajay]

hey some bird spisies the male bird is the prittiest. why cant that be true for some of us humans? :D

[Lily_gg]

I think that the assumption a lot of the oh-so-smart and educated by Jerry Springer brigade out there hold is that if a man dresses in any bit of women's clothing, he wants to look like a woman, and the only reason he wants to look like a woman is to attract a man, because women attract men.

They seem to completely forget that men can attract men and women can attract women.....

Work through it slowly with your wife, reassure her daily how much you love and fancy her - make it VERY clear that you're still hugely attracted to her (and only her, and that she doesn't have to compete with your feminine side) - buy her flowers, let her catch you gazing adoringly across the room at her, tell her you love her when she'll least expect it, be really tactile and touchy-feely - hug and kiss her, or just squeeze her as you go past her on your way to do other stuff in the house, run her a lovely bubble bath, and tell her you're doing these things because she's the most wonderful woman you've ever met and you can't imagine your life without her because she completes you. And then try and explain what you want to wear, and (roughly!) why - if it's just a sexual turn-on for you, tell her, and get her to share her fantasies so you can make them come true too; if it's relaxing, tell her you find it relaxing, compare to her wearing her favourite relaxing clothes. But take it slowly - let her dictate the pace she's happy with, and tell her that you've only managed to tell her because you trust and love her so much - good luck!!! ;)

[Wendy me]

i think all guys have at least though how it would feel to put something fem on we on the outher hand do and amit to doing so ..." be matcho put down what you don't understad ..." i think that is why people think that way

[mchelle]

probably because we are wearing womens clothes..of course women who wear womens clothes can be gay too..
i loooove women but like to wear womens clothing & imagine being a girl. i think about being a girl w a guy, but i dont like guys..
its just hard to figure out, so the easiest way for most is to think you are gay if you wear womens clothes.
i do have other female traits i guess you could say, as im nice and understanding and not all into sports obsessively, though i do watch football when my fav team plays & i drink beer along w other alcohol..
its probably easier for people to classify in 2 categories...straight or gay than all the subcategories.

[Abraxas]

True-- good point.
People know about drag queens, but not really about straight transvestites/ crossdressers.

[Sweet Susan]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't have to be a drag queen in order to be gay man who poses or passes or dresses or lives as a woman. I believe the whole drag queen thing entails an exaggerated hyperbole, isn't that correct?

[Amelie]

I didn't say drag queens.

[Abraxas]

I think what it is, is that drag queens are really just in it for the performance aspect. They don't even necessarily have to be gay.

I could be entirely wrong, though.

[chocolateboygirl]

Why do people think CD's are gay? Easy!

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!

:D

[chocolateboygirl]

Now here's a question: if in male mode you're attracted to women, then in female mode you're attracted to men, what does that make you? Straight as an arrow? I mean, I'm not usually attracted to men (usually!), but when I dress up, I want to be as feminine as possible, and that means being with a man.. so I guess the best way to describe it is being BENT!

I can see it now..

"Oi! You there! Get bent!"
"Sorry mate, already am!"

ta!
cbg

[Sara Kat]

Now here's a question: if in male mode you're attracted to women, then in female mode you're attracted to men, what does that make you? Straight as an arrow?
I think so! If you think of yourself as a female while in female mode then you're straight!

[chocolateboygirl]

I think so! If you think of yourself as a female while in female mode then you're straight!

Exactly. However, to the rest of the unenlightened, a man dressed as a woman is a man dressed as a woman, and if that man dressed as a woman is attracted to men, then that man dressed as a woman must be as gay as a three dollar bill!

You know, it's almost easier to be identified as gay these days. Look at all the gay TV shows!

ta!

[Marianne]

just to derail the thread....

The use of the word 'gay' has changed from it's original meaning, and is often used, particularly by hormone-driven teenage males, as a term of opprobrium (if I lost ya, try dictionary.com).

Society, and particularly the microcosmic society of the high-school locker room, has focussed on forcing people into certain molds (also known as 'sterotypes'). Society and the mass media is geared towards selling you something, and convincing you that if you don't buy it, you are somehow 'inferior' to everyone around you.

It's insidious, it's present all around you, it fills your every waking moment and your every sensory experience.

Hollywood, Madison Avenue, MTV, they all constantly bombard you with messages designed to appeal to you innermost fears. And they've done a damn good job at it.

Now pause for a moment, and THINK.

Think about something we all see almost every day.

I'll focus in on a few examples to make it easy for ya, you might recognise them...

Father looking under the hood of a car. Says to infant son "It's HEMI powered!".

Two guys at a dinner asking "What did you have for dinner". One says "five pounds of chicken", the other says "a spring salad", kid sneezes, the 'salad' guy gets blown across the room. (There's a slew of variations on these.)

Big guy holding up a HUGE hot dog over his barbecue and talking about it being a 'manly' grill.

Three guys walk into a bar, they have several hundred kinds of beer. Cute little blond waitress hands them a HUGE list ("ve haf hundredz of beers from all ofer the vorld, call me ven ready"), they pick 'Sam Adams'. She smiles as if to say "Wow, you made your mind up real quick, you chose Sam Adams, that's sexy, wanna sleep viz me?".

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We are under constant pressure to raise ourselves up above others by pushing them down below us.

Sometimes that's expressed by asking "Are you gay?"

"What, you cried when 'old yeller' got shot, what are you? Gay?"

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"Say Honey, you did a really good job arranging those flowers for the baby shower!"

"What are you, gay?"

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"umm, guys? I really don't feel comfortable at shoving these firecrackers in my nose, lighting them and then jumping 200' from this cliff into that shark-infested sea to see if I can hit the water before they explode and then see if I can outswim those sharks over those razor sharp rocks!"

"What are you? Gay?"
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"Honey, I'd like to try a little role-reversal here by wearing something sensual instead of the usual rough jeans, heavy cotton shirt and steel-tipped boots"

"What are you? Gay?"

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It's insidious, it's pervasive (go ahead and hit dictionary.com again).

In every waking moment we're all being 'conditioned' to accept the 'status quo', we're all being fed a bland diet of crap designed to get us to buy into spending our time and money on 'conforming' to the image that the mass-media thinks will sell the most 'product'.

And we *all* fall into that 'trap'. We are but 'pawns' in that big game.

The *challenge* for all of us is to understand that we've been 'conditioned' that way, and so has everyone else around us. Each and every one of us is responsible for our own destiny, and our own fate.

And we each have the awsome responsibility of being open, honest and understanding of the reactions of our loved ones to our 'non-conformity' with that constant 'mind control' forced on everyone.

Don't ask "Why doesn't she understand?", but instead ask "What can I do to help her understand?".

The answers to that last question are out there (and many of them are actually *in* here), it has to be a two-way street, and it requires taking a step back to look at everything from the other persons perspective.

"What are you? Gay?" isn't a reaction that should scare you, it's really a plea. A plea driven by fear and ignorance. A plea driven by the constant pressures in daily life delivered to you by folks who don't care about anything except the contents of your wallet (and by the desire to move those contents to *their* wallet).

You cannot *make* someone accept it, you can only attempt to explain it. And you cannot even begin to explain it until you understand it yourself.

------

Yah, I know, that's a *lot* of deep *stuff*. It's taken me a LONG time to get to this point, and I'm not sure that I'm right, all that I know is that it works for me, yor mileage may vary.

[Cora_Cd]

Hi Everybody, The reason most people don't understand is because they are uneducated on the subject matter. Cora.

[PaulaMea]

I'm confused...which is nothing new lately. Me, in "guy mode" I identify as being straight, with no attraction to other men. Though I have had "encounters" with pre-op transexuals. As Paula, I am strictly into women. I guess, Paula is a lipstick lesbian.
I finally stopped mind-f**king myself about it all...

[Rachel Ann]

Hmmmmmm

I guess we all have a perspective based on when we grew up. In the 50s and 60s, "gay" was just coming in to use as a non-pejorative alternative to "fag", "queer" and "homosexual".

Christine Jorgenson had the first recorded SRS in Denmark circa 1960. People didn't know what to make of it so it was thought of as an extreme case of homosexuality (read "perversion").

The American Psychiatric Association didn't change the definition of homosexuality from a pathology until years later. There was a hilarious incident in 1965 when the subject was debated at their annual conference (no change ensued that year). Somehow Andy Warhol, who had many connections in high society, became the entertainment provider for the banquet. He brought The Velvet Underground along to furnish the music. I was working for Andy and for the VU at the time, so I got to see the Mel Brooks-style horrified expressions on the attendees! :D It was in The New York Times the next day.

ANYWAY, having digressed - back then (and earlier), people didn't distinguish much between homosexuality, crossdressing, pedophilia, S&M, and any other form of unconventional (read "sick" or "degenerate") behavior. "Transgender" and "gender" as other than "sex" had yet to be coined and defined.

So, it was inevitable that many thought of crossdressing as a gay thing, and the concept stuck. I'm sure that there were hetero crossdressers then but I bet that they stayed deep deep in the closet.

Halloween became a big deal because in most places, it was the one day of the year that it was legal to crossdress in public. But this was only reported by gay men, at least to me.

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That having been said, I'd like to comment on another topic brought up in this thread:

I have been in a lot of discussions about whether "straight" (applied to a male) means attracted to women or to men when in femme mode (assumes attraction to women in boy mode).

I am attracted to women in both modes but I think that the term "male lesbian" is considered offensive by many women, especially GG lesbians. It has become a way for non-tg straight men to assert solidarity with feminism, which is usually bogus and just another way to try to get laid.

So, I just consider myself to be straight.

I had my bi-curious phase years ago and came away having learned that (1) sex with a man is not the end of the world and (2) at the end of the day, I am basically attracted to women.

At the time, it was hip to be "outrageous", "insane", "filthy" and "degenerate" - terms like that were taken as compliments, at least in my circles!

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My, I didn't know that I was going to have so much to say! ;) :)

[Sweet Susan]

I didn't say drag queens.

Agreed, you didn't say drag queen.

[jade lee]

I don't consider myself gay when dress, bi yes. Would I make it with a another cd, I would like to. I have the same problem with my wife, she think I m gay when dress. But i give her the best and longest sex she ever had when I am dress! I do fantasize being as a les cd. It is just the way i feel!
At least I was taught that feeling are neither right or wrong. it just how I feel!
It will be always the same, even the wife does not accept or evenhave a open mind. And they talk about us male side is close! Can't win for losing.