Road blocks

[Jean 103]

Do you have any?

If so do you welcome them or are they holding you back against your will?

Finally if they were removed, would it make any difference, like would you be full time?

When mine was removed I came out. Six months latter I’m living as Jean, and well the beginning of a very long story.

[Brandi Christine]

Family, I love her but she is very intolerant of anything trans, as are her kids (27 &30). If things changed I'd be starting a new journey towards becoming a woman...

[Beverley Sims]

Yes, they have big alphabet letters on them and it is horrendous trying to play with them and dodge the trucks at the same time.... :-)

Did I say Dodge the Trucks?

If medical science and I had the knowledge back then I would have turned right at the fork in the road.

Now I have learned to live with it.

[GretchenM]

Yes there are some, but they are easily negotiable by getting a bit creative in finding a path around them. I would like to have a bit more freedom, but, being non-binary and I am pretty content. Years ago, I fully explored the transition route and found that it made me even more dysphoric which told me my path does not head in the direction. Maybe someday it will. But not today. My most comfortable and least dysphoric mode is the way I am.

Jean: I admire your spirit. I think you have found your way. Live it. Hope you are keeping a private journal. Those are always fun to read years down the road.

[Teresa]

Jean,
I'm afraid it took a separation to clear mine but no regrets . many of the fears haven't happened, my wife is still a road block but I've taken a detour now , so she's only blocking herself .

I can't believe it's been a year of living as Teresa .

[sometimes_miss]

Waze shows most roadblocks, and with GPS it's pretty easy to avoid them. I don't go out driving dressed en femme, so It's not a part of my worries.

[Majella St Gerard]

No roadblocks here, I control my own life.

[docrobbysherry]

None to speak of here either, Jean. Altho, I must say overcoming roadblocks in life requires planning, compromises, and tenacity!:Angry3:

Most people r satisfied to spend their lives waiting for miracles to happen that will change things. Until they run out of time!:sad:

As a self actualized person, I'm sure u understand, Jean!:thumbsup:

[Teresa]

Sherry ,
That is the scary bit , running short of time !

[Allisa]

There was one but through the cycle of life it was removed and now there are just large "speed bumps" to be taken slowly but easily overcome and now I can express myself openly and in public but with age comes a time restriction and thankfully the wisdom to enjoy the open road ahead.

[Alice B]

I think my road blocks are mostly of my own doing. I used to dress and go out almost every week and fully dress at home (wife present) 3-4 times a month. Have attended DLV three times. Lately the urge has wained. I still wear a bra and forms almost all day/evenings.Still wear panties, full body shave and wear some light makr up in a regular basis. Can't place my finger on what holds me back. I think of it, make mental plans, but something holds me back. Think it might be the lack of local friends to share it with. And unfortunetly age is becoming a factor

[Carolina]

Well in my case I see two large roadblocks, my wife and my job.
My wife doesn’t really like Carolina, although I’m dressing more and more at home and we go to the spa for mani pedis together (me in drab but in wedges). I hope (or wish) that she may become more open to the idea of her hubby becoming her female companion (not an easy thing to admit). According to my therapist she would have to mourn her hubby first...
My job is a bit more difficult. It is a great job, top of the ladder, board memberships in listed companies, but highly conservative environments. My dream (or fantasy) is that the requirements to have more diversity in boards and top management teams could open their eyes to allow and accept Carolina. Yup, keep dreaming...:daydreaming:

[biancabellelover]

The usual roadblocks: wife, family and friends.

My wife doesn’t want me to wear a wig or makeup. She doesn’t mind my dressing, and will often buy me outfits, underwear and jewellery. She’s also happy to see me move and act in a more feminine manner (when I’m dressed) but she wants to look at my face and see her man! She’s also happy for me to feminise my body somewhat, as long as I can still present as male, so that when we’re out she is seen by the public with her Man!

And I’m okay with that. Her happiness is important to me, just as my happiness is important her. And while I’ve put my happiness before hers on occasion in our relationship; this isn’t one of them.

Friends and family: I think it’s fair to say I’d lose around a quarter of them, and I don’t want to lose any. There are way too many stories of loss.

Michelle.

[maya1]

The usual roadblocks: wife, family and friends.

My wife doesn’t want me to wear a wig or makeup. She doesn’t mind my dressing, and will often buy me outfits, underwear and jewellery. She’s also happy to see me move and act in a more feminine manner (when I’m dressed) but she wants to look at my face and see her man! She’s also happy for me to feminise my body somewhat, as long as I can still present as male, so that when we’re out she is seen by the public with her Man!

And I’m okay with that. Her happiness is important to me, just as my happiness is important her. And while I’ve put my happiness before hers on occasion in our relationship; this isn’t one of them.

Friends and family: I think it’s fair to say I’d lose around a quarter of them, and I don’t want to lose any. There are way too many stories of loss.

Michelle.

I've learned when it comes to family, the ones you would "lose" are not valuable anyways and it's better to have them out of your life sooner!

[Tracii G]

Really don't have any at the moment.

[Leslie Mary S]

Yes I have some road blocks. Most are in my mind and body. but I have some really tough road blocks too

[biancabellelover]

Hi maya,


I've learned when it comes to family, the ones you would "lose" are not valuable anyways and it's better to have them out of your life sooner!

Different people and different families. My family is very close, and there isn’t a single one of them I want out of my life; even the in-laws.

But I’m confident that my parents would struggle with my coming out, and I know that my brother would. In no way do I think any less of them for being like that. People are products of their environment, and my parents (78 and 85), and my brother (59) have had nothing in their lives to prepare them for this.

They are open minded in many ways, and perhaps I’m doing them a disservice by not giving them the benefit of the doubt. But I’m not prepared to find out. Decisions are made within frameworks of compromise and consequence. In this, compromise has been given higher priority than consequence.

Michelle

[JennB]

Myself is a roadblock many times! With an accepting SO and working from home many times, the opportunities to dress are probably more than for many here. Yet, I don't do it as much as I think about doing it. The work that goes into dressing is many times a mental road block [which also gives an appreciation for the work that women go through on a daily basis]. It is funny how many times I "haven't bothered" that day, and how many days when I do dress I had thought about not doing so due to the work, but have never regretted a day dressed at home. Getting out of our own way is many times my biggest road block.

[Patience]

Not really.

I imagine not even my job would be that big a problem although I probably wouldn’t be allowed to wear my wigs; so I’d have to find a workaround for that.

[Diane Smith]

Work is a big one, of course. I'm a high school teacher, and even though it's a pretty liberal place, appearing too androgynous wouldn't be acceptable to the administration, and many of the parents. (I get the feeling that most of the kids wouldn't have that much of a problem with it, although it only takes one "squeaky wheel" to make things difficult.)

But I'm planning to retire after this school year, so that particular roadblock will be crumbling.

A bigger issue is my health. I have a number of chronic conditions that affect my strength and endurance, including a rare form of anemia that leaves me tired and weak much of the time. I often make plans for places I'd like to go and things I'd like to do, but a lot of times just don't have the physical energy to follow through. I'm afraid some of my friends think I'm a bit slothful and unreliable as a result. I've been going through a relatively good patch lately, and hope that will continue long enough to get my retirement finalized and let me enjoy myself more later this year. This affects a lot more in my life than just my femme outings, of course.

- Diane

[Krisi]

I don't have any "roadblocks". I do not want to live as a woman or be a full time crossdresser. I'm fine as a crossdresser.

[Asew]

My wife's fear of my kid's being bullied at school for it (so no dressing around town, minimize what I do outside in the yard, but dressing at home and at work are fine).

My wife's reluctance to be seen out in public with me. The only time we went out together was a drag show, and she wasn't in the greatest mood and felt odd about it. We are going to another drag show in about 3 weeks. I have told her down the line after the kids are moved out I wish to be able to go to the store dressed and she isn't sure if she will ever being out with me like that. That I could do it if I was going without her, but at this time she doesn't think she would want to do that outside of LBGT friendly venues.

[Stephanie47]

I don't have any "roadblocks". I do not want to live as a woman or be a full time crossdresser. I'm fine as a crossdresser.

I'm in total agreement. I would add having a wife who is not on board with her husband wearing women's clothing, and, further presenting as a woman, knocks some sense into a husband rather than seeing him go off the rails down the line and totally wreck himself. I do not live in a vacuum. Perhaps having a 'shared secret' also means some 'shared responsibility.' If my wife were to predeceased me I would probably wear women's clothing at home to my heart's content. However, I doubt I would leave my long established comfort zone.

[LeannS]

The only person in my way is my wife she doesn't like it at all.
Am I not going to kick her to the curb. As we have to much fun together.

[Krisi]

Reading the original post again, I believe this post was aimed at those who are nor "crossdressers" but transsexuals or those leaning in that direction. I believe the majority of crossdressers are just that, crossdressers. Obviously, that's still a wide range of behaviors from wearing panties to bed all the way to going out in public imitating a woman. Still, we don't have a desire to transition or even live 24/7 as women.

A crossdresser's roadblocks would typically be a wife, other family or roommates.