Taking for granted my gender/sex

[kathy gg]

Hi all

With all the threads going on about self acceptance and trying to get to a resoluation or find inner peace with this t-stuff....I was sitting here and thinking how uncomplicated "my" exsistence really is.

I can honestly say that I have never felt a deep need to NOT want to be seen as a female. I never felt anything other than okay with my gender or birth sex. And even the few times in life when I have thought "oh, this would never happen if I was a man. (like when I go to get an oil change and they try to find $500 worth of problems with my car!)" those reflex thoughts are not enough to desire what it is like to be anything other than a female. Those are just things some of us say. Like that time of the month: "Damn wish I was a guy this week!" Sort of a joke with women.

I know there are women who identify as ftm and to be honest I really have never gotten to know one in a personal way. I have seen things on tv about women who want to be guys, but still, that is just television, not a friend or acquantance.

I guess the common complain (in the community) is women take for granted that they can wear what ever they want....okay...I'll not disagree with that statement. But I think what is even more is I have always taken for granted my gender.

Every female friend I have had in my life that I have known has also not felt any "gender conflict". All of us just sort of don't give our gender much thought or what ever. It is what it is. I dont' know one woman in my life who ever talked about taking a "magic pill" or "waking up one morning to find a guys body". Every woman I know pretty much likes being her gender. I know women who have expressed curiosity at what it might be like to be a guy, {in a sexual context} but I think that is alot different than wanting to make that happen. Kinda like wondering what it might be like to walk in outer space, but no desire to sign up to be an astronaut.

And I suppose I would have kept on not thinking twice about my gender had I not been exposed and reading up on the transgender community. And meeting and knowing so many people who really feel so bound in their exsistence in life. All those feelings of conflict, confusion, desperate to express the "real" person with-in.

I will never know what all this feels like. Cause I like being who I am. I may not be always be happy with my weight or with my other physical imperfections, or my job or my family or how much money I have...but I still like being me.

And I 'get' why other people do seem to keep asking quesitons and trying to find answers. People want an explanation as to why they have to feel this and someone else does not. I do think I understand that root of jealousy or envy. Not even so much for my choice of clothing, but just that contentment with my gender and gender expression.

I am not writing this post to gloat about being a woman or anything like that. But just to say that I really hope that those people searching for answers find something that they can believe in. Something that fits. I just hope they can get to some mental place that feels like happiness.

Thanks....

[Sophia Rearen]

Another reason to envy women.

[Maria D]

I don't think it's about gender specifically, so much as 'not being allowed to be who you are'.
For FTMs for instance, there's much that men take for granted. It's just about being happy with who you are, whoever you actually are, if that makes sense lol.
That's my, err, how many cents in 2p?

Take care :)

[Julie York]

Nice post kathy.

You say that you don't KNOW any GGs who want to be men. No-one I know suspects I am a crossdresser! Ahaa!

Anyway.....I knew a woman who was quite pretty and had a great figure and dressed like she was a teenage guy going to a football match. Used to drive me mad. I can understand women wanting to be free to express themselves any way they please, but for a CD it is actually quite sad to see a GG not exploring and enjoying her femininity...or rather, taking it for granted. It is like being a musician and seeing a magnificent guitar in the corner of someone's room and they never play it.

[sharifemme]

Kathy...

SENIOR PROM AND NO DATE!!! You've got to be kidding!


Anyway, Thanks for letting us all know what you think of the whole thing. You sound like you have a lot of compassion for others and know your own "self" quite well. I really appreciated what you said.

Sharifemme




Hi all

With all the threads going on about self acceptance and trying to get to a resoluation or find inner peace with this t-stuff....I was sitting here and thinking how uncomplicated "my" exsistence really is.

I can honestly say that I have never felt a deep need to NOT want to be seen as a female. I never felt anything other than okay with my gender or birth sex. And even the few times in life when I have thought "oh, this would never happen if I was a man. (like when I go to get an oil change and they try to find $500 worth of problems with my car!)" those reflex thoughts are not enough to desire what it is like to be anything other than a female. Those are just things some of us say. Like that time of the month: "Damn wish I was a guy this week!" Sort of a joke with women.

I know there are women who identify as ftm and to be honest I really have never gotten to know one in a personal way. I have seen things on tv about women who want to be guys, but still, that is just television, not a friend or acquantance.

I guess the common complain (in the community) is women take for granted that they can wear what ever they want....okay...I'll not disagree with that statement. But I think what is even more is I have always taken for granted my gender.

Every female friend I have had in my life that I have known has also not felt any "gender conflict". All of us just sort of don't give our gender much thought or what ever. It is what it is. I dont' know one woman in my life who ever talked about taking a "magic pill" or "waking up one morning to find a guys body". Every woman I know pretty much likes being her gender. I know women who have expressed curiosity at what it might be like to be a guy, {in a sexual context} but I think that is alot different than wanting to make that happen. Kinda like wondering what it might be like to walk in outer space, but no desire to sign up to be an astronaut.

And I suppose I would have kept on not thinking twice about my gender had I not been exposed and reading up on the transgender community. And meeting and knowing so many people who really feel so bound in their exsistence in life. All those feelings of conflict, confusion, desperate to express the "real" person with-in.

I will never know what all this feels like. Cause I like being who I am. I may not be always be happy with my weight or with my other physical imperfections, or my job or my family or how much money I have...but I still like being me.

And I 'get' why other people do seem to keep asking quesitons and trying to find answers. People want an explanation as to why they have to feel this and someone else does not. I do think I understand that root of jealousy or envy. Not even so much for my choice of clothing, but just that contentment with my gender and gender expression.

I am not writing this post to gloat about being a woman or anything like that. But just to say that I really hope that those people searching for answers find something that they can believe in. Something that fits. I just hope they can get to some mental place that feels like happiness.

Thanks....

[Julie Avery]

Thanks for your thoughtful post Kathy.

Love the new avatar :)

[paulaN]

beeing able to express ourselfs freely would be a good thing. but your mind could still keep you trapped in he**. sometimes that's the way I feel.(trapped) I think most of us cd's have had those feelings.

[Julie Avery]

...for a CD it is actually quite sad to see a GG not exploring and enjoying her femininity...or rather, taking it for granted. It is like being a musician and seeing a magnificent guitar in the corner of someone's room and they never play it.

Exquisitely expressed.

[Kimberley]

And this is exactly why we love the GG's here so much!! You are all very special people.

Kimberley.

[Julie York]

And I don't have a crush on her at all.


Good.

That's settled then. Let's say no more about it.

[karentvca]

Kathy,

You've hit it right on the head for me. I am sure many women feel like you in perhaps the opposite ratio to how many CD-men are NOT happy with their gender. Why are there so few F-to-M CDs compared to M-to-F CDs? Because the clothing sucks? I don't think it has to do with real girls having "more freedom" to wear what they want. A woman wearing her husband's shirt or boxers is usually not trying to look like a man.

On the other hand, it would be cool to hear a non-CD man say the same thing about his gender. Like most women, he probably doesn't feel the need, unless he has a friend who is a CD. Certainly among men, it is not something we discuss -- even as a joke (like women during "those days" of the month). You know, "God, sometimes I wish I was a chick!" Yeah, that would get a few laughs and some high fives down at the pool hall.

I am one of those CDs who loves women too much. In my head, you girls are perfect (I know, I know... that's not possible... take my wife, please... blah, blah)... but I am serious and it drives me nuts because I know I am being ridiculous.

It's jealousy pure and simple. I love your hair, your skin, your nose, your lips, your clothes, the way you talk, the way you walk... it's maddening. And it's delightful. A reason to get up evvery day and breathe -- oh! and I love the way you smell.

[CaptLex]

I am not writing this post to gloat about being a woman or anything like that. But just to say that I really hope that those people searching for answers find something that they can believe in. Something that fits. I just hope they can get to some mental place that feels like happiness.

Thanks, Kathy, that's what I hope for every day too - finding the answers, something that fits and getting to a mental place where I'm happy. From your lips to God's ears. BTW, that's a great picture! :cool:


I can understand women wanting to be free to express themselves any way they please, but for a CD it is actually quite sad to see a GG not exploring and enjoying her femininity...or rather, taking it for granted.

Julie, I feel the same way about guys. Some don't even have to think about being guys and take it for granted. And some would rather not be guys, which I understand, but can't relate to since it's something I dream about every day. It's the other side of the same coin, hon. ;)

[Katrina]

Kathy,
You are truly one of the most insightful people that I have never met! You got it exactly right. While I cannot speak for all gender-dysphoric people, I know that I spend a lot of time contemplating my gender which I'm sure non-gender-dysphoric people don't do.

[rhondasxycd]

Wearing a dress and makeup or whatever dosn't change who i'am ..To me it's the options that GG's have ..Like if they don't wanna wear makeup and do put on an old pair of jeans and sweatshirt.. ( like I wear daily at work in male mode ) No one thinks twice !! But then they have the option of doing there makeup and wearing a pretty dress.. where as if i exchange my sweatshirt and jeans and make myself pretty as i can its like i've commited some kinda crime !! We need more options !!! (SIGH )

[Anita Mae GG]

I think we all struggle at some point for acceptance of just who we are, regardless of MtF or FtM or GG or anyone else for that matter. What would be nice is if we ould all find that place that makes us comfortable in our own skin and just behappy to be ourselves, whatever that might be for each person :happy:

[SherriePall]

I second what Tammy Marie GG just said. If only ....

[Christina Nicole]

Kathy,

I suspect hat most people could write the same thing. Unless one is a TG, then one doesn't think about gender. It is just something that one is. Without a reason to explore this gender continium thing, most people don't. I suppose that makes you normal.

Regarding your profile photos... I'd say that the boys were intimidated by your beauty. The "She must have a boyfriend," or "She wouldn't want to go out with me," problem. Must be terrible to be so pretty. Oh, to be so cursed!

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[LilDolly87]

I try not to think about what gender can and can not do it drive's me crazy. and I work on cars for a hobbie I know a lot of GG's that know there stuff. Makes some of the guys really pissed off but I love it.

[TGMarla]

It's funny, you know? As the months go by, and I gain a greater acceptance of who and what I am, I have less desire to dress. It's like the more I accept myself as a crossdresser, the more nonchalant about it I become. I'm more comfortable in my own skin. The gender conflict which I have known all my life becomes less and less. Crossdressing becomes less important. The blending of the masculine and the feminine within me is still there, and likely to stay, but the outward manifestation of it is less necessary.

That's not to say that I don't enjoy dressing up. I enjoy it greatly. No matter how comfortable I become, putting on a lovely dress and transforming myself into the image of a woman is still very special to me.

But I have always wondered about the lobsided statistics on cross-gendered individuals. Surely it can't be the clothing. Surely there must be something more to it. However, the clothing is a very powerful thing. As human beings, we are attracted to that which we find beautiful. Men, as well as women, are attracted to beautiful clothing. But women have no obligation to never wear some clothing. As men, we don't easily accept that something is denied us. And that which is denied us is not only the clothing, but the feminine in the abstract as well.

So thanks for the insight, Kathy. Such thoughts are exactly why I hang out on this forum. I like to hear what makes people tick. And baby, you're tickin'!

[Jacqui]

kathy, I enjoyed reading your post and always appreciate your input.

For me, it is more than the desire to dress. It is the desire to be a woman. And to be able to read a woman's thoughts helps me to understand and grow.

Almost every night before I go to sleep, I fantasize about what it would be like...and now I can add one more thing:
attaining a feeling of taking my femininty for granted...if only!

Jacqui

[Mona]

I agree with Marla, for me it's about exploring and feeling things I'm not allowed to as male. And Rhonda has it right also, we need more options, in clothing and in who we are and how we express ourselves.

[DawnLabelle]

Great post Kathy, one thing stands out to me in particular. The envy of not your clothing (even though thats how it shows itself in us) but the envy of how more content and comfortable women are with their gender. Interesting stuff :)

Dawn

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

For what it's worth Kathy, transman sociologist Aaron Devor has some interesting thoughts (http://web.uvic.ca/~ahdevor/FEMDYS.html) on the personal vs. social aspects of female gender dysphoria -- and specifically it's relation to femininism. (If you don't have patience for academic writing, just scroll down to Table 1, which summarizes his points.) Devor points out that women who are dissatisfied with their gender roles might be FTMs, but might be tomboys, femininists or simply women who's behavior is less feminine.

In short, because women have an "accepted" way to voice their discomforts about "being a woman" they're less likely to think about changing their gender identity. (Yes, there is a "men's lib" movement but frankly it doesn't hold a lot of appeal for most men. But that's a different discussion.)

[Dana]

For me, it much more than just dressing up in women's clothes, jewelry, and makeup, etc. Its more a state of mind ~ a state of being if you would.

Its most definately about options.

Being a man ~ has its downsides. Most women marrying "up" that is to say someone who his higher up on the food chain ~ socially, economically, finacially, (I think that it work out to about 80% ~ and before I get bashed by the GG's I think ALL of you fall on the 20% side ~ you're not in the relationships that you're in for the money, the status quo, nor keeping up with the Jones' ~ you're in it for the person that involved with)

Being a guy, you're expected to (a) have all the answers to all the questions, (b) have all the solutions to all of the problems, or (c) know where to go and find the answers and solutions ~ and if that fails ~ you're at least expect to "DO SOMETHING!!!!

Most men don't have the option of quitting their jobs ~ and becoming a "househusband" and staying home with the kids ~ even if the wife is the major breadwinner of the house. Everyone in his social circle would be on his case! That most men simply isn't an option.

We're expected to initiate everything romantically ~ and I mean everything! From the first meeting to intimate moments in the bedroom! Men get turned down for physical intimacy all of the time, but "Pity The Fool" that does so to his GF or wife! Most men, were to go to work and tell their buddies that the wife wanted to get intimate last night, but they turned them down because they were tired, or had a headach, would in unision hear, "NO! YOU DIDN'T!" Not just because manly men don't do such things ~ but because they KNOW what the Devil to be paid.

Personally, even in guy-mode ~ I enjoy the company, and coversation of women more than I do ~ most of the time ~thing is I end up feeling like Rudoloff, and sooner or later not being allowed to participate. Least I jepordize my rep. as being other than an hetro male.

To be honest with you about it, I've just about giving up on playing this game called life, by someone's else's rules. I've pretty much have decided to strike out and be a maverick, and play not only by rules, ~ but to also make them up as I go along.

To be honest with you about it, the reason that I broke up with my last GF, was because all I was getting out it was sex. And, as a person, as an individual, as a human being I needed and wanted more than just sex ~ yet many women think that's all the men care about ~ and so therefore that's all that they've got to bring to the table ~ they couldn't be more wrong.

Men are just like any other human being ~ they want to feel WANTED, NEEDED, LOVED, VALUED, ATTRACTIVE, and APPRECIATED.

Its a given ~ that in order for a man to get with a woman ~ that he's got to at least play the role in giving and providing all of those things. He's got to romantic, caring, giving, loving, appreciative, thoughtful, sensetive, etc. but I just don't see most women reciprocating the favor. I want those things too!

Why do men crossdress? I think its a simple enough answer? Because its fun! Its fun to step out of and away from the day to day. Its fun to go shopping! Its fun to explore new things, and to experience new things that you've never experienced before. Its fun to thump your nose at society, the demands, the expectations of others. Its fun to be a "rebel".

I was married for 12 years, and was career military. At 29 I laid in bed with chest pains ~ went to the doc ~ and he told me it was stress. A couple of months later ~ I had a knot half the size of a golfball growing out of my forehead ~ same thing ~ doc said it was stress. I use to work no less than 60 hours a week ~ more often 70 or 80! All for my wife and children. For my efforts, I get told I was a workaholic, boring, and a set of divorce papers. Got raped, mentally, emotionally, financially in divorce court.

I've been divorced for 15 years finally got out of the child rearing and child support business, ~ yet tomorrow ~ I've got to call the IRS over a bill that stems from my divorce.

I'm 49 years old, retired military, living in a two bedroom apartment ~ going back to WalMart, Sears, whatever ~ buying all that stuff that I already bought ~ over again (THANK GOD, its cheaper this go around) I've paid over $100,000 + in child support ~ and yet I am stugglling to stay in touch and be a part of my children's lives.

I wasn't the one that cheated, yet the ex-wife is living on ten acres of land, with dogs, horses, and a house with her toyboy third husband, (she's 51 and he's 43) and guess who got EXCLUSIVE rights to pay for all of that!

The Bomb of a school teacher down in Flordia ~ 25 years old ~ could easily get a Playboy centerfold shoot, that molested a 14 years old boy gets three years house arrest and a walk. If she had been a man ~ they would have hung him! He would have easily gotten 10 years ~ minimum ~ if not a hanging.

I've also got the un-fortunate blessing of being a W.A.S.P, if I end out on the street, having to sleep in a hollowlog, eating road kill, and drinking muddy water, I don't have anyone to blame but myself. I can't say, I ended up there because I was a woman or a minorty.

And, yet I'm NO longer bitter ~ (I was and have been! Most of the above is what I've had to come to terms with ~ and make peace with ~ JUST THE WAY IT IS! No one's fault ~ just the way that it is! You'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out! There's the way its suppose to be ~ and there's the way that it is! There within lies the difference ~its called reality!)

There are times that I think that it would just be easier~ that this transgendered thing would be easier ~ if I were just gay. Or, a TS, or have been born a woman!

But, now that I'm back out here in the real world ~ I wouldn't wish being gay, TS or a 48 year old woman on anyone, simply because its HARD, all day hard! Kid yourself not about it!

Its hard finding someone to love you ~ who really loves you ~ warts and all! Inperfections and all! Relationships? Easy to get into ~ HARD to maintain ~and the Devil's to be paid to get out of one! Its even harder to find someone that LOVES you, and WHO you love! My advice to anyone successful enough in finding that? DON'T SCREW IT UP!

If you're a "non-traditoinal" male that happens to be TG ~ that muddy's the water even more! Its hard for your average, stereotypical GG to get this wrapped around their head. Go back and re-read "Snowwhite" and "Cinderella" and there's not one mention about crossdressing! Not one!

And, then most men are "conditioned" and "programmed" to think (like I was!) that in so long as they have good jobs, careers, with good benefits, with good pay ~ and they're good providers, that don't cheat, that don't gamble nor drink up the rent or mortgage, that don't physically, mentally, emotionally, abuse their wives and children ~ that they're good husband's! Think again! It doesn't COME that easy! You've got to WORK for it, from start to finish! And, if you think you're fooling someone, YOU'RE only fooling yourself!

Me? I'm not in a relationship. By choice! I had to, wanted to, needed to go to the sidelines ~to pull back and re-group! All of this dating, mating, business was just wearing me out! I'm 48, and I don't have the luxary of screwing this up one more time ~ at best I've got one more shot at getting it right! Somewhere between kindergarden and college ~ I must have missed something! Some very important lessons in life ~ about life, about marriage, about women, and how to make it happen! To make it work!

One of the true definitions of insanity is constantly trying to do the same thing over and over, and over again ~ all the while expecting different results!

For those of your blessed, fortunate to have a GG in your life, be she accepting or not, (all the more if she is!) you need to put your CD desires on the shelf ~ and focus on HER, her WANTS, her NEEDS, her FANTASIES!

You do that, and I promise you, she'll be much more receptive to YOUR wants, your NEEDS, your FANTASIES!

Best $100 I ever spend was on this: http://www.lightyourfire.com/

When I went through it it gave me a better understanding of women! It gave me a better understanding of my marriage! It gave me a better understanding of WHY I'mdivorced!

I majored in finance, after 20 years in the military. Four years of college studying finance ~ and I finally found the answers to my money problems~!
http://cheapskatemonthly.com/

You take care of her, her wants, her needs, fulfill her fansaties, ~ along with the money problems ~ the credit problems ~ you'll be one step closer to Heaven. The focus should be on her, not you!

"She" knows what's out there! She's KNOWS what in the market! If you will address these two areas, the competition will lose HANDS down! She'll give you the -10% girltime, if you'll give her the +90% that she WANTS, and needs!

[Jennaie]

And I don't have a crush on her at all.


Good.

That's settled then. Let's say no more about it.

Being a somewhat shy girl, I wasn't going to say anything, but now that I know I'm not alone here...

[Joy Carter]

Some really great words going on here but the one thing I have not heard Kathy, No Date For The Prom You Should Have Called Me! Just Joy trying to be funny. Just being loved for who I am is enough and being that person inside and out has been hard. Self acceptance came first now if the ones around me would accept me on the outside then I would have all I need.

[AnnaMaria]

Cathy,

I find your post very interesting and insightful. I have often wondered what women felt or thought about their own gender identity. Though I do realize that yours is only one opinion I suspect that most women feel the same to some extent or another.

Personally since I started to accept who I am and try to better understand the big picture of exactly what it all means I have found that I have become much more comfortable with myself and my gender mix. I have noticed that since I started this journey of understanding my "dressing" has become more infrequent but I still feel the desire to put on a pretty outfit from time to time. Though more recently I have started to bring more girls clothes into my drab life. I am a professional computer consultant and thus expected to dress the part daily, so to combat the feeling of dred that I feel in having to dress completely male everyday I have taken to replacing my dress pants with womens that will pass for unisex for the most part. Thus far no one has noticed or commented about it in any way.

My wife still does not completely understand my reasoning behind this move and she does worry about me from time to time simply because she doesn't want me to be outed and ostrasizes by the community that we live and work in, and I understand that competely. She has also asked the question "If they are pants and look like guys pants then what makes the difference if they are girls or guys? and I have to answer that I can't put my finger on it but there is a difference. Maybe it is just a mental thing or maybe it is my subconcious way of rebelling against the social stereotype that exist. Who knows, all I know for sure is that I feel more natural and at ease when I am wearing girls pants instead of guys. And I suppose that is the whole point after all. Be comfortable with who you are and your life will be more comfortable all around.

anna

[kittypw GG]

Nice post kathy.


Anyway.....I knew a woman who was quite pretty and had a great figure and dressed like she was a teenage guy going to a football match. Used to drive me mad. I can understand women wanting to be free to express themselves any way they please, but for a CD it is actually quite sad to see a GG not exploring and enjoying her femininity...or rather, taking it for granted. It is like being a musician and seeing a magnificent guitar in the corner of someone's room and they never play it.

Do you think that this is the same way that women who love crossdressers feel? It is hard the other way as well. I mean being married to a man who is a beautiful example of a male and all he wants to do is look like a girl. Kitty

[Lilith Moon]

Do you think that this is the same way that women who love crossdressers feel? It is hard the other way as well. I mean being married to a man who is a beautiful example of a male and all he wants to do is look like a girl. Kitty
Kitty,

You are a tremendous asset to this forum. I've been CD-ing for many years and yet you have have come up with a lot of stuff that I had never considered but which makes a lot of sense. Thank you for your thoughtful posts. :thumbsup:

[Wendy me]

Kathy well written i all ways enjoy reading your posts ... that's what i am talking abought is being happy with just who we are and i belive that a person has to be comfy with them selfes ... gender , lifestyle , fashon or what ever realy is not the issue in life ... to get to the place were we are ok with who we are and truly be comfy in that place is priceless.....

[Star]

Sobering thoughts Kathy. Thanks for sharing them, it helps. I think the urges are in part sexual, but the yearning to be a girl started at such an early age that it cannot be. All I know is it has always been there. I can control it but it takes work.

[kathy gg]

Thanks to all who have replied to this thread. I wish I could respond to each post individually , but I would not have time to respond to all the other cool threads happening!

But a few come to mind:
Julie York! haha!

Marlena...I checked out that link to the ftm, very interesting stuff. I guess people might have called me a tom-boy at certain times in my life.

As for the prom pic....what can I say....life is harsh!

and Lex..thanks for reading this thread. I do hope you find happiness.

[Butterfly Bill]

Do you think that this is the same way that women who love crossdressers feel? It is hard the other way as well. I mean being married to a man who is a beautiful example of a male and all he wants to do is look like a girl. Kitty Ever since I starting hearing in the early days, "That dress looks good on you", I have always looked for clothes that hang well on my male body and show it off well, and managed most of the time, judging from compliments I get, to succeed. I don't try to look like a woman, and don't feel I need to.

[ashlee chiffon]

for that great insight ...
... these are the kinds of thoughts i like to hear from the GG's because it helps me understand myself more when hearing how You view life. I can never totally know how a Woman truly feels, but each tidbit of insight gives me more empathy, love, and understanding of the Female and makes me at least feel more "womanly" and "feminine" for that tiny bit of knowledge. Every cd is somewhat different *being the individuals they are!* in their personal reasons for "walking the walk", but i think we all share one common thread...
We love women and their clothes and eagerly enjoy these moments of reflection!

[Aileen]

Well, I don't have a desire to become a woman, except when I get a gorgeous dress and think how much I'd like to wear it to work and show it off. It would be nice to not have to make the first move romantically, but I've pretty much given up interest in romance these days, and anyway I could wind up being an unattractive woman who wouldn't get any moves made on her, and then where would I be? All things considered, even though I like to crossdress, I'd still rather be a guy.

You know, over my years of working I can only recall about 4 women who wore dresses I would want to wear. Four women in 25 years. Where I work, most women don't bother to wear skirts or dresses, and of those who do, their outfits are nothing special. Women who really, really enjoy wearing dresses are rare.

[Clare]

You know, over my years of working I can only recall about 4 women who wore dresses I would want to wear. Four women in 25 years. Where I work, most women don't bother to wear skirts or dresses, and of those who do, their outfits are nothing special. Women who really, really enjoy wearing dresses are rare.I have to agree Aileen. In my opinion, dresses are what defines a woman's femininity.

I guess that a dress requires a little more consideration in terms of the overall appearance (pantyhose, heels, makeup, etc...) whereas a set of pants and a blouse do the job without the need for all the ancilliary effort. It's so sad that many ladies today seem to have lost the desire to wear dresses - they are so nice to look at (and wear!).

[Clare]

As the months go by, and I gain a greater acceptance of who and what I am, I have less desire to dress. It's like the more I accept myself as a crossdresser, the more nonchalant about it I become. I'm more comfortable in my own skin. The gender conflict which I have known all my life becomes less and less. Crossdressing becomes less important.In many ways, I have to agree with you Marla. However, I have a strong need to consistantly dress enfemme, even though I am becoming more relaxed about my gender orientation.

I guess it reflects one of the Gender tests I particpated in via an online link here a long time ago. The result indicated that I was transgendered, but it's main focus was that I would prefer wearing female clothing full time and presenting as a woman (makeup, etc), whilst staying a genitic male without the need to transition, which I thought at the time was reasonably accurate.

[janedoe311]

I am a man and have had to work for everything I have. Two women where I work got jobs as computer technician and system analysts and have no idea of what they are doing, that was affirmative action in Action.

I have had to answer very simple computer questions from them. One of them worked for the same department in a different location and I did everything for her, as well as my job in my lab. (She called me many times every week and it got to be a pain), After 10 years she does not have my help anymore and everything she knows I taught her.

Regardless of male or female if you are not AGGRESSIVE you will have to work to get ahead and even that is no guarantee. "Things could be worse." I have a family and I am sure if I could not work my wife would find a fulltime job at a public school instead of the day care jobs. She gave up trying to get a teaching job years ago. She has a Bachelors degree and current teaching credentials, I do not even have an Associates degree. She would make more that me if she did get a full time job at a school with better benefits. But I am not pushing her even though we need the money. So again things could be worse.

I envy woman for their beauty, grace, "breasts", and the ability to have children but would not trade that for my family. It is frustrating not being a woman (and I do not know why), I get upset on not having breasts; I feel that there is something missing. I look a beautiful woman in envy.

I wore a bra and forms one day when my wife was gone for a night and it felt normal, always wanted to do it, (worked on the house in the basement all day, no visiters).

So I understand your frustration, Just hang in there. There are just as many unemployed men as woman out there, if not more unemployed men. Again “It could be worse”.

Love Jane

[sharifemme]

Ashlycal...

WOW! My sentiments EXACTLY! The more I learn about females, the more I love and respect them. Women are so much more interesting than men in so many respects! With men, it's all about self-image, competition, and macho. Women have such a broader range of feelings and interests.

Shari




for that great insight ...
... these are the kinds of thoughts i like to hear from the GG's because it helps me understand myself more when hearing how You view life. I can never totally know how a Woman truly feels, but each tidbit of insight gives me more empathy, love, and understanding of the Female and makes me at least feel more "womanly" and "feminine" for that tiny bit of knowledge. Every cd is somewhat different *being the individuals they are!* in their personal reasons for "walking the walk", but i think we all share one common thread...
We love women and their clothes and eagerly enjoy these moments of reflection!