Love this too much...?

[Mara3001]

Well, let me begin saying that i´ve been crossdressing since i was 14 or so. (I´m in my forties now).

Lastly i´m having the oportunity of dressing quite often so it´s good because i like it. And here is where i begin to be worried because i really love the sensation of being in "female" mode.

It´s relaxing, it´s fun, it´s like if a go to another dimension where all the problems are less important. I can´t wait to be alone just for change into my female alter ego, who is in fact, just me but using another clothes, but happier.

This has made me thinking about it a lot. Because i don´t know if it is just a phase in my life or i´m missing something more.

Said this. Should i be worried? Do i need some help maybe? Any comment about your experience would be nice.

I have the sensation of releasing some weight writing these lines, girls…

Thank you for reading me. ^^

[Patience]

If you’re enjoying yourself and no one’s getting hurt, why would you be worried? Just enjoy the ride!

[Robertacd]

I have to agree with Patience, if it makes you feel better about yourself then what's the problem?

Anxiety or feelings of guilt is natural, as GM's we have been programed all our lives to "be men", and to reject even the thought being anything else.

[carhill2mn]

What is there to be worried about? If you are enjoying the experience and sensations, why not continue? As long as you are not causing someone else problems or discomfort, go for it!

[Beverley Sims]

If you are enjoying life as it is, don't overthink a problem that may be there.

For most of the readers of your post here, I am sure none of us find what you are doing is unusual at all.

I agree with relaxing, fun and certainly slipping off and leading another life.

It is great being at a party dressed amongst people you know and no one recognises you.

That can be a real boost to the ego. :-)

[Micki_Finn]

You’ve been doing it since you were 14, so it’s definitely not a “phase”. And you only need to worry if it’s causing you problems. Are you spending your mortgage or food money on clothes and makeup? Do you avoid normal human relationships because of it? Has it ever caused problems in your life, but you just accept those problems and do it anyway? If not, then you’re fine and not hurting anyone so enjoy!

[JeanTG]

Go with the flow. There's not much else that can be done about your (our) situation. Just be careful of hurting those you love most. Especially significant others who may not appreciate our interests. But at the same time, be honest. With yourself, especially, but also with your SO.

You may progress to wanting more, you may not. It ebbs and flows for me. Sometimes I really crave it, other times like today, I can't be bothered. If you don't feel like dressing even if you have the opportunity, don't. If you do feel like dressing, by all means do so if it's a safe opportunity.

[Helen_Highwater]

Mara,

Well, let me begin saying that i´ve been crossdressing since i was 14 or so. (I´m in my forties now). So if my maths isn't too shoddy that amounts to roughly 30 years so I think you can forget about it being a phase



This has made me thinking about it a lot. Because i don´t know if it is just a phase in my life or i´m missing something more.

Said this. Should i be worried? Do i need some help maybe?

We as males are brought up as Roberta intimates to to conform for certain stereotypes, to act in a certain way. For years society has seen deviating from these as something to be frowned upon. This societal pressure gets ingrained in our subconscious as so it's natural we question our actions. However as so many have pointed out what we do doesn't cause society harm. It may impact upon close personal relationships and this has to be considered. As long as your dressing doesn't cause issues with those near and dear to you I see no reason for any concern on your part. Enjoy it for what it is and if as time progresses it becomes something greater, that's a bridge to be crossed in due course.

[NancySue]

Don’t worry....be happy. You’ve been dressing long enough to know it’s here for the duration. Might as well enjoy it. Life’s too short. Best.

[Mara3001]

Thanks for all of your responses and comments.

I´m single, by the way, no girlfriend now. I´d love to find someone who understand my crossdressing but it´s complicated. Because with the time, dressing has become a necesity more than a hobbie. And yes, that scares me a little.
I´m fine with my male part but in some mode, i´m more "comfy" when in femme. I think i have a little mess in my head hehe.

It´s great having so many nice persons sharing thoughts and advices here. Again, thanks for your time and have a great time. :)

[Leslie Mary S]

There is no such thing as love to much just sometimes loving at the wrong time/place.

[Judy-Somthing]

Forty-five years ago my mother told me I was going through a “phase” dressing in girls clothes!
Now forty-five years later the “phase” hasn't ended yet!

[Bobbi46]

Life is too to be worrying about, is this wrong? is it just a phase, is there something wrong with me and suchlike, in fact its none of these it is how one feeles if you feel good wearing womens clothing and it gives you peace of mind why worry about the pros and cons of the whole thing.
Be yourself, its your life, enjoy it and be proud of what you do.

[Angie G]

If you dress today and enjoy it the earth will still be turning tomorrow. Just be yourself enjoy life the way it makes you happy . I think if more "MEN"wore dresses the world would be a better place.:hugs:
Angie

[Lana Mae]

It is no phase and it doesn't go away very long! Every time it comes back harder! It is part of you! Relax and enjoy the journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[Shely]

this is something, I think, we have all felt at one time or all the time. I started when I was 13 and not I'm 70 and I still love the feeling it gives me. I love the variation in styles, colors, cut, fit, etc, etc. I can't get enough of the feeling wo men's clothes and jewelry give me. It beings out in me feeling I will never experience in men's clothing. In fact I have fewer men's clothing than I have ever had. I do have around 75 dresses though. When I am dressed, and made up, I feel much more alive than I do in drab. It's hard to put a finger on the reasons, but why try. Enjoy the relationship with all things women. I wish I was better at expression myself in words. Hugs

[Emi GG]

Because with the time, dressing has become a necesity more than a hobbie. And yes, that scares me a little.
I´m fine with my male part but in some mode, i´m more "comfy" when in femme. I think i have a little mess in my head hehe.

Hi, Mara.

It's okay to feel scared or confused. Be gentle with yourself.

For what it's worth, I think it's really good that you found a way to feel "comfy." I mean think of the alternative: you'd be uncomfortable and probably unhappy. If dressing as a woman makes you comfortable and happy, then I think you should give yourself that gift. You're worth it.

[adelinapa]

So I'm just a little older than you, and I've found it *is* a stage.

Not a stage like, "this is just a stage" but... at this period of my life, it's the stage of finally, gently accepting myself. Past the sexual thrills, past the taboo, past the physical comfort, past the shame and past the guilt. I've finally reached the stage of being free in, and from, my own mind when it comes to this.

Hopefully everyone here gets there, or has been there already. The only alternative is to stop yourself from reaching it.

[Rochal Tukque]

The problem with drab is that its so darn drab. I think that part of the addiction to dressing is you can express your self in so much color! Jeans and tee shirts? I can do that in the male. But in the femme your really free to have fun. Ever look at what the Indian girl wear? Color, color and color how fun. So why not be addicted use your imagination and have fun. You will never achieve that in male without being labeled something. So enjoy!

[Maid_Marion]

I wear colorful women's clothes in men's styles to work.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Maria---I'm the same way---Not only is it FUN, it releases ALL my stresses and I can RELAX to the ultimate. Its like a "Vacation from myself" where I am "another person" with no pressures or worries from my male life.----And its fun being "pretty" too. I feel there is NOTHING to worry about and is a HEALTHY mental release.

[Brandi Christine]

So I'm just a little older than you, and I've found it *is* a stage.

Not a stage like, "this is just a stage" but... at this period of my life, it's the stage of finally, gently accepting myself. Past the sexual thrills, past the taboo, past the physical comfort, past the shame and past the guilt. I've finally reached the stage of being free in, and from, my own mind when it comes to this.

Hopefully everyone here gets there, or has been there already. The only alternative is to stop yourself from reaching it.

Adelina is absolutely right, it took me 40 years to get there, I am happy with who I am and accept it.

[GretchenM]

A lot of wonderful and supportive responses here and I have no disagreement with any of them. Enjoy yourself, but be careful you don't hurt others.

Too that I have to add, don't hurt yourself either. By that I mean be careful that your love of the expression of what is obviously a huge part of your identity doesn't become an addiction that begins to interfere with the more "necessary" parts of your life. So long as the rest of your life that is not really associated with gender identity and expression remains stable and as productive as is needed then you are right on the proper track. But if it becomes an obsession that interferes with other things in your life do what is necessary to integrate your feminine self with the important responsibilities. (Imagine dressing as being like alcoholism; it happens.) Sounds to me like you have been at this long enough to be pretty well integrated and are not prone to newbie craziness and enthusiasm that get out of control so easily.

[alwayshave]

Mara, my phase has been going on for 54 of my 57 years.

[Lindseynrva]

43 of my 48 have involved me and my curiosity which became my hobby as I call it. I’ll never pass the tall broad shouldered anatomy will not allow me down that road. So I am left to enjoy dressing as Lindsey when I have timeortheoccational work from home day when I can go all in.

Damn my great aunts long line bra that day when I was 5, it must have had 24 rows of hooks I was in there 20 minutes trying it on! Haha.

[sometimes_miss]

As long as you're comfortable in who you are, everything else is not important. A stage? Nah. We all sort of thought so at one time I suppose, but we were wrong. The phase we went through, was that of a NON crossdresser!

All the world's a stage.
For me, the stage is dressing up as, and playing, a normal male, whenever I have to leave the house. It's a part I've had to play now for oh, half a century.

[Teresa]

Mara,
If you have a problem dealing with these questions it might be worth making an appontment to chat it over with a counsellor face to face . I feel you've reached a point in your life where you should make the right decisions while age is still on your side .

Without any restraints we all enjoy what we do otherwise we wouldn't do it . I know there is more to the story but you have it slightly easier as you don't have a partner to consider . It really depends on how bad your GD is , I also know we keep pushing and want more but sometimes we don't undersand why .

I understand your comment about releasing a weight I felt like a millstone had been lifted off my shoulders when I came out to my wife but sadly it didn't work out .

The bottom line is this is part of you and always will be so you may as well come to terms with it and integrate it into your life , I have now and I'm much happier .

[Krisi]

As long as your dressing isn't interfering with your normal life or social life, there's no harm in it. If you get to the point where you would refuse an invitation to dinner or a party because you would rather stay home and dress like a woman, it's time to start worrying.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mara :hugs:, You sound completely normal to me, You are living the dream so enjoy it.

>Orchid ..O:daydreaming:O..

[Macey]

Mara, I don't think it's a phase. If you're troubled by it, see a councilor for some peace of mind.

In the mean time, life's short, wear that pretty dress (or whatever), think less and feel more, harm none.

[Mara3001]

Wow, one day without being in front of the PC and there are more comments, answers, advices and help that i can manage hehe.

Thank you very much for every second that you have dedicated to me in this lines. It's a great sensation "to be rounded" of so many fabulous persons.
It's true that i ahve in a point where i must stop and study my situation. But please, don't misunderstand me. I'm not all the time daydreaming when being in femme. I have a job, and i work hard to have a decent life.
I'm single but i have a great family, an impressive set of persons that i love more than my life and that helps me when i have some kind of trouble.

They are, in fact, part of the reason why i feel guilty doing crossdressing. I don't know how they would react if i share that part of my life when them. (But i believe that my mother suspects something... :P)

I have a nice life, single, no partner or girlfriend, but no bad at all. (I'm not rich so economic part could be a lot better haha)


Resuming things. I lost in the pink fog, i know. I have controlled quite well through the years. And the only thing that scares me is that i want more every day. Because i feel great. Visit a counsellor maybe it's a good thing for planning in the near future.
I think that some chichat is something that i really need with someone that can understand me.


Sorry for the long post. Hugs, regards and kisses from the distant Spain. ^^


P.D: By the way, i couldn't live now without trying a dress from time to time. xD