Searching For Ideas

[Dharma Rapture]

i am recently in a new relationship with a cd.

i am looking for ideas to help make her feel more like a woman.

how to hold her, treat her, touch her, talk to her.

i do alot already;

i dress her, put on her makeup, by her pretty things, call her my pretty girl, make her wear the jewelry i pick out etc.

i really would like some ideas on how to treat her genitals....and how to treat her sexually.

[Jen_TGCD]

i am recently in a new relationship with a cd.

i really would like some ideas on how to treat her genitals.....
Gently, my dear.... very, very gently!!! :o

[Jen_TGCD]

Okay... I'm sorry!!! It must be the full moon!

Signing off now ! ! ! :p

[Sweet Susan]

I don't know if it matters, Dharma, and I'm not a licensed psychologist, but are you a cd, a straight man, a woman, a lesbian woman, or a straight woman? While it may not matter, it might matter to your cd friend. Why is your friend a cd? Is it because you want her to be, or because she has always been one? Did you meet her when she was crossdressed?

My suggestions would be to always treat her honestly and fairly. Don't be judgemental and don't find fault with her. Allow her to select her own clothes and jewelry. Praise her frequently and meaningfully.

[flicka]

Hello Dharma Rapture

Perhaps I, ( or my partner) can be of help. Are you male or female?

[flicka]

Perhaps I, or my partner, can be of assistance. Are you male or female? Private chats okay

[Dharma Rapture]

I don't know if it matters, Dharma, and I'm not a licensed psychologist, but are you a cd, a straight man, a woman, a lesbian woman, or a straight woman? While it may not matter, it might matter to your cd friend. Why is your friend a cd? Is it because you want her to be, or because she has always been one? Did you meet her when she was crossdressed?

My suggestions would be to always treat her honestly and fairly. Don't be judgemental and don't find fault with her. Allow her to select her own clothes and jewelry. Praise her frequently and meaningfully.


i am a bisexual woman, her girlfriend, lover, primary partner, and more.

she is a CD...10 years i believe, 4 years out, divorced 2 years, just recently out of another 2 year relationship (for me), has had plenty of therapy as have i, we arent struggling with her t girl issues, there is total acceptance from me. she is a CD because thats who she is, it is what feeds her soul, i met her years ago as a CD and lost contact , then met her again recently and the timing was just right and we clicked. this is a serious relationship with long term hopes. she WANTS me to select her clothes and jewelry.....that totally turns her on, and me too.

i run an alternative sexuality organization and know literally thousands of people....many many transgendered persons....i have been asking this question on the boards and in person of some of my friends who are t girls and such.....and i am astonished that i dont get answers.....am i off track here? i am saddened that the most common answer is "no one makes me feel that way"......i am stumped here.


what i want to know is what things that your partner does or says send that shiver up your spine that gives you that feeling you are a girl....how do you want your genitals treated, what words turn you inside out, how do you want to be touched, do you have rituals that send you to that head space?

i have her wear my jewelry that i picked out when she is home, she always wears my pendant, i do her makeup when we are together, i choose her clothes when we are together, i but her pretty things to wear, when we have sex i almost always keep her in girl mode, i call her my baby girl, pretty girl, slavegirl, geisha girl......i tell her all the time how beautful she is to me....i refer to her genitals as her pussy (actually as my pussy).........i got her all my favorite skin care products and showed her how to use them, i stroke her hair and have her brush mine..........she paints my toes ..........we do girls night out....my daughters come over and dress her and treat her like a girl also....i always refer to her as she........i honestly dont think of her as a CD anymore....i think of her as a girl...i suspect someday she may want to go further and i totally support her if she decides to do that....i am trying to get used to sex the way she likes it and is comfortable (which is not how i like it but we both have other partners so its not like i am missing anything)....i talk dirty to her as if she were truly a ****ty little girl.....we listen to female artists and we read books by women authors and discuss them.....i am trying to bring out the goddess in her.

i would love to talk to anyone who has more ideas or insights...please email me at jrsygir1@aol.com

[JoannaDees]

I think you are already in touch with the one person that can answer all of your questions. I wouldn't presume to know what another really likes without experimenting ... well maybe one blonde beauty I just happen to know .... :rolleyes:

[SherryAnn]

as a cd who has never been with another cd I really dont have any right to even reply on this but it seems to me that your complicating things with to many questions dear. Just go with the flo of things & the right things will fall in place as time goes on. Don't be afraid to ask, disagree, agree, encorage, give opinions. If all else fails plant a big wet one on his face & grab em by the gonads.

[Marianne]

Sounds like there are a few 'signs' to me, so I'll add a few thoughts (not 'solutions', just thoughts, they'll probably result in many more questions...).

I'll base them on my own thoughts, desires, feelings and experiences, so keep that in mind too.

Being CD means many different things to different people, although there are similiarities there are also differences. There's no 'one set of rules' that works for everybody, it's all based on life's experiences, stress factors, desires, sexual orientation, fetishism, upbringing, environment and so on.

And also on 'demeanor' , attitude, mental state and learned behavioral responses.

We each have hopes, dreams, desires and wishes. Sometimes there's a 'label' for those, sometimes there is not. The part that's difficult is in communicating those hopes, dreams, desires and wishes in a manner that's understandable to the other person.

Without a common base of knowledge, a common base of understanding and a common vocabulary, communicating all of that is a *major* challenge.

I think the key things have already been mentioned, tho, honesty and openness being the most important ones. The next major one is 'trust'.

Developing trust takes time, a lot of time. It's like climbing a wall of ice, so difficult to make upwards progress yet so easy to slide back downwards.

Reading between the lines there I also sense some touches of BDSM and some major hints of TPE. In that regard the word 'trust' appears again in a BIG way.

So, I see two things, the CD thing, and the domme-sub thing. Although they can overlap a lot, they aren't necessarily connected, although I'm getting the feeling the 'she' *does* connect them together. I also get the feeling that you do too. If so, then there *is* an approach you can try.

Actually, you sound like you're already working on that approach, I'd only add the truth/honesty/trust thing to that.

Self-worth. Encouraging, respecting and honoring her self-worth is the most important thing you can do in that area, showing her that she's important to you, that you respect her as a person, that you respect and appreciate everything she does for you are all things that will help you climb that wall of ice and help prevent any 'slipping'.

The really 'hard' part is that you have to get inside her head and understand what she feels makes her 'feminine'.

If I'm right about the domme-sub thing, then it's up to you to learn how she feels, and that's going to be a major challenge. Take it in 'baby steps' in the same way you would raise a child or train a pet, since the 'sub' thing is to be a giver of pleasure, rather than a receiver.

Of course, I might be totally off base here, in which case, ignore me...
















:)

[christelle]

Hi Dharma,
I think the best you can do for her is just to treat her like you would any other woman. That would be special in itself.
Take care
Christelle