Accepting wife but I have hang up

[EllenJo]

Hello everyone, I am wondering if anyone else has my particular hang up. My wife is very open and accepting. For years I underdressed with her blessing and had no trouble changing my drab clothes in front of my wife. Often we would wear matching panties on any given day. She sees me dressed everyday unless we have company or are traveling. She gives me many compliments, in short she is the best.

However I cannot bring myself to change into Ellen Jo in front of her. I just do not wish for her to see me in between my self and Ellen Jo. I don't know why I am this way but I am. She has brought this up a couple of times and I cannot explain why.

Does anyone else have this issue?

Hugs
Ellen Jo

[Cheryl T]

Oh yes, I remember this well.
When I first came out to my wife I felt the very same. I wanted her to see me fully changed, but not see the process. It was scary as I felt she would feel differently about me if she saw what took place. It was totally in my mind and had to do with the fact that no one had ever seen me as I dressed.
Well, over time that all changed. Now when we get ready to go out we dress together, do our makeup together, help pick out lingerie and outfits and just act like total girl friends. It's so wonderful to be able to share every part of this with her.

It takes time to get over that fear, and shame, that we all carried. We'd love to snap our fingers and change instantly, but truthfully, sharing the process is so rewarding. Just relax, talk to her about it and express how you feel. Let her in, you will feel so much better in the long run.

[Samm]

Hi Ellen Jo, I'm pretty much the same way. My wife had a habit of randomly bursting into the room while I was in the process of getting girled up. I always hated the thought of her seeing me 'unfinished' or in between. Especially when she would unknowingly catch me off guard.
I'm not sure why it bothered me so much. Maybe it was all those years in the closet before we met that still had me hyper sensitive to not wanting to get caught.

[Micki_Finn]

Yeah it’s not uncommon. I got over it, some girls don’t. It’s not a big deal, honestly.

[Robertacd]

I enjoy it when my wife helps me with my makeup.

We have been married for over 25 years and have probably seen each other in every possible state of being by now.

So half dressed is nothing.

[Di]

Like others have said it’s normal. Some get over it some do not.
Many yrs back when Sher and I were first together she would get so upset with me when I came in before she got to a certain point . But after being married and years together she got over it.

[Donna St. Marten]

I can understand how you feel because we don"t exactly look our best in between the transition. Be grateful for the supportive wife that you have and don"t worry about it.

[mattea]

Hello! I have the same feelings, and figure many ladies have the same desire to only be seen when they are at their best. After many years together I can do it when she is around and she is usually helpful, but I would rather be completely done up before she sees me.

[Cynthia_0101]

Even though my wife knew for at least 18 years and was supportive I could not dress in front of her at all. I was always afraid that seeing me dressed would be the straw that broke the camels back. I did get over it though and now have no issues with her seeing me in any state of dress.

But it's something you have to comfortable with.

Cynthia

[Angie G]

It's the way you are it's not a bad thing, Your not killing someone. don't beat yourself up over it Ellen. it all good hun. :hugs:
Angie

[cdinmd206]

Wow I was just the opposite. I loved when the wife and I would dress in the same room when we were going out. I was such a thrill to watch her get dressed as I was putting on the same items. We always helped each other especially when it came to attaching the back garters to our stockings. It was like 2 girls going together on the prowl!!

[NjJamie]

Ellen, I think you'll find as many answers as there are members and for me I would say "it depends". I have done both and completely enjoyed each but the next time (which may be quite some time, down cycle for now) I would probably prefer being alone. As others have said, it's all good and enjoy the heck out of it!

[Teresa]

Ellen,
I'm not comfortable with the in between state but have to accept it when sharing a hotel room .

I did pose the question sometime ago to my wife about dressing in front of her and wondering at what point she would stop me , she just replied , " Not going to happen !"

[Jenny22]

Hi, Ellen.

You said, "For years I underdressed with her blessing and had no trouble changing my drab clothes in front of my wife. Often we would wear matching panties on any given day."

Then you said, "However I cannot bring myself to change into Ellen Jo in front of her. I just do not wish for her to see me in between my self and Ellen Jo." ... a bit confusing, no?

Get her involved. Ask her to go through your femme stuff and pick out things SHE would like to see you wear, from the skin out, and to help you get dressed one evening when you get home. It could be fun!

[Beverley Sims]

I was a little self conscious years ago but it soon dissipated.

It is a natural feeling experienced by most of us.

[Krisi]

I also feel uncomfortable dressing in front of my wife. Not putting on the clothes, perhaps but putting on my boobs, butt padding and wig. If I had to, I would, but I would rather not. I have taken these things off in front of her, somehow that's different.

[Karen RHT]

I've come to believe that my wife seeing me in various states of dress/undress, actually helped her take steps forward. She is now much more comfortable with me in a skirt or dress around the house than she previously was. We've been married well over 40 years. No reason for me to be hesitant about my wife seeing me no matter what I'm wearing.


Karen

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ellen Jo :hugs:, It could be the embarrassment of not being completely presentable. >Orchid ..O:daydreaming:O..

[Rochal Tukque]

Most the gg girls I have known included the wife wanted their space until they were ready. The wife and I still do that going out as girls. Unless were stuck in a motel room then its just working bath and mirror time. No hard feelings we just like the finished product, construction zones are always so messy.

[Francene Lola Dupree]

Initially I felt the same, uncomfortable getting made-up in front of GF or her seeing me part way through.
Since we installed a Vanity Mirror in the lounge I have got used to doing it with her as the audience, and she is much more comfortable with a more gradual transition than seeing only the before and after.
xXx

[alwayshave]

Ellen Jo, I understand exactly how you feel. My wife is accepting, but I don't like getting dressed in front of her.

[Tracii G]

You see her do it when she is getting dressed up why not return the favor?
She may really enjoy it.

[Krisi]

I would say that if your wife has asked you about it, you should go ahead and do it. Maybe not the tucking or putting on the boobs, padding and wig, bot the rest shouldn't be a problem.

[EllenJo]

I want to thank everyone for your insightful views. I do understand that I am extremely fortunate to have an accepting wife, she's the best and so are all of you.

Hugs
Ellen Jo

[JoanneNY]

Ellen Jo, I envy your situation, with a mate so accepting you are blessed. Don't think about it, just enjoy.

[Rhonda Jean]

40 years ago when I was first married I absolutely loved getting ready together! Fast forward through years of going out alone and through divorce, my hangup was still not getting ready in front of my SO, but going out together was unexpectedly difficult. The first time I went out dressed with my new GF we were doing the same things I'd done alone hundreds of times, and I didn't expect any difficulty. Took me a minute to just get out of the car. It was the realization that when I was out dressed I walked differently, spoke differently, interacted with people differently. I wasn't sure how she'd handle that. I wasn't really embarrassed, but I was afraid I'd be embarrassed, if that makes sense. That lingered for really the whole first day. Still gets me a little every time, but she never laughed or made a comment about it, and I'm the one who is uncomfortable about it, not her.

[mikki1960]

After my bath, I'll do my make-up, and when, I go into the bedroom to pick out a wig, I'll likely catch her picking around all MY makeup and sample it..............particularly my lip stick and gloss !!!! WE have nothing hidden from each other, and she's happy to tie down the corset........seems she takes a pleasure for me to groan........can't breath !!!