No longer sexual....

[Jodi Yardley]

I recently retired so I have been dressing almost daily. I have also noticed that dressing and being feminine is ALL that I think about. I have been dressing since early teens mostly because of sexual urges, but now I really just enjoy the thoughts and feelings of being dressed and feminine.

I still enjoy sex being dressed but that's not my top priority anymore, does anyone else feel this way?

[Lindseynrva]

I love being in woman mode. The sexual side has definitely dulled I just love to be femme and can say that sexual thrill of the younger years is not there. Today’s Lindsey is more relaxed and content with the whole experience and not the activity of dressing if that makes sense.

[abby054]

I never had any sexual feelings about dressing even when I was young. I just enjoy the look and feel of the clothes and accessories. I enjoy experiencing the approach to life that females have. I like doing the things that they do in the ways that they do them. To keep it that way, I discipline myself to have no sexual activity of any kind at least 24 hours before and after dressing.

[Tracii G]

Never was anything sexual for me at all.

[Robertacd]

I used to say it was "just a sexual thing", I was lying to myself most of all ...

[docrobbysherry]

I'm 75 and have been dressing since my 50's. Until I starting going out with other T's 10+ years ago, sex was a big part of my dressing!:o
Now, when I'm prepping to go and while I'm out dressed sex NEVER enters my mind!:straightface:

However, when I'm home alone dressing? After I've finished a photo shoot, I have a VERY difficult time NOT being turned on! Especially when I see something like THIS in my mirror!:D

301838

[alwayshave]

It's been a while since it has been sexual for me.

[deebra]

For those that said it's never been sexual......sorry for you but you missed half the experience of a great ride. Every part of putting on each item of female clothing and going about is feminely sexual.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I agree with Debra--I still get a sexual "charge" from it------I also have discovered OTHER benefits too, like "stress relief" "escaping" my self and totally relaxing---and, of course, the simple FUN of "feeling pretty".

[kimberly c]

For me it's still very sexual. I love putting on sexy lingerie. I always take it into the bedroom and have my SO treat me as the woman.

[Gillian Gigs]

From what I have read on this site, you are not alone in these feelings, and changes within your life. My situation is similar to your situation also. There is something nice about it no longer having to be about sex, like when I was younger. At times it is very liberating, because the clothes can express a side of my character, and feelings of who I am. I think that others wouldn't understand this like us older folks on this site. It's like now I can finally enjoy this journey that I have been on for so long. So sit back and enjoy the ride and the scenery.

[Terri1492]

For me the sexual thing is there, not all the time, but most of the time. It is part of feeling feminine and the fantasy of it. Sometimes I can dress and come out of it not feeling the sexual urges. Other times it is far from it. It is ok to have a little fantasy in ones life :daydreaming:

[Lexigurl]

When I was much younger, middle-aged and older CDs told me they had reduced sexual feelings as they aged, and they thought it was great. It was still relaxing, and de-stressing to them. At that time, dressing was entirely sexual for me. I thought, "I like this the way it is. I hope that doesn't happen to me."

Now I'm middle-aged, I've been dressing more of late, and it's feeling more non-sexual, which I like. I can actually underdress and leave the house now. I can feel a little bit femme without getting distracted. Thirty years ago, I couldn't.

But I can also move into a sexual state-of-mind almost at-will, which is fun, too. Plus, my SO has a magical effect on me whether I'm a man or a woman, so that plays into it as well. For me, it's better this way because I can toggle and enjoy both sides of it.

[Asew]

My sexual side of dressing seems similar to lexigurl's. As a teenager, I would dress for hours and at the end have it be sexual. Now that I wear skirts and such most of the time, it is not sexual just dressing, but if I want it to be sexual I can pick an outfit and such and toggle that switch to the sexual side. I like it this way, being able to enjoy both sexual and non-sexual versions of dressing.

[abbiedrake]

I never had any sexual feelings about dressing even when I was young. I just enjoy the look and feel of the clothes and accessories. I enjoy experiencing the approach to life that females have. I like doing the things that they do in the ways that they do them. To keep it that way, I discipline myself to have no sexual activity of any kind at least 24 hours before and after dressing.


From one Abbie to another are you saying real girls aren't sexual?! 😁

For me dressing isn't sexual. I have been turned on while dressed but not because I was dressed. Being turned on just doesn't work like that for me. All power to those for whom it's a strong and/or reliable sexual kick. But for me the question is a little akin to asking do I get turned on by wearing my suits, or when watching the rugby. Both, along with dressing give me satisfaction but are incidental to my state of arousal.

[NjJamie]

I guess I'm right in the middle between Deebra and Marina, it's always sexual though I have occasionally been trying to have it not be that way. From everyone's postings I've been exploring and trying to figure this thing out but always end up in the same place. Right up until the end I tell myself the 'pink fog' will last and I will just enjoy being Jamie but unless I know I have extended time alone I will quickly clean up and wait for the next opportunity. Last year I got to spend an entire day all pretty and enjoyed every second, looking to do the same again soon!

[Beverley Sims]

The sexual thing takes a back seat as you get along with life and your present disposition.

[Alenko]

I don't think it's sexual for me, but I dressed up as a female cosplay character a while ago and heck did I love it, so I started dressing up as a girl some more on and off. I mean, like yeah I would want to try having sex while in girl mode with someone but I guess some people would find that weird so I kind of keep that to myself. I also like looking at myself in the mirror and I like what I see so that makes me feel super good also.

[Krisi]

It's not really sexual for me.

[phili]

When dressing was only a stolen moment- getting turned on by just the thought, and being autosexual was a way to enjoy it as a pretend social occasion, and then obliterate the nagging compulsion driving the dressing with a high dose of dopamine or whatever happens at orgasm. Then the physiological letdown period was a great way to be able to let go of what originally was driving me and turn my attention to the real world again.

Over the last few years I realized I really did want the real world to actually meet my emotional needs. As I gave my self space to buy clothes and go out, I realized that sexuality was a much broader spectrum- and satisfied on so many levels. A skirt or dress is femininely sexual in that it leaves open the space between the legs.Tightfitting pants or blouse are sexual because they cling and show our breasts and waists. The prints or style all are ways of attracting attention - and the materials can be shimmery or flouncy, all inviting touch or at least not resisting touch. All this sexuality is in the broadcasting range- heightened emotion, imagination, and interactive.

The sensuality of some clothes is akin to sexual- and certainly the swish of a flouncy dress across our thighs is as close to sexual as foreplay.

Just wearing ordinary women's clothes can feel sexual to me because my sexuality is feminine, and the implication of my clothing is that i am feminine and receptive to a lover in the archteypal sense. [When I consent to be, of course].

I feel a generalized arousal now that is much more to my liking than a demanding erection. Sexuality is much more broadly present in my internal experience. Now, if I do pursue an orgasm, I often don'e even get an erection, but in any case, afterwards I don't feel any urge to set aside my dress. It was just me being sexual.

I experience sex as both physiological and psychological, evolutionarily demanded and dilettantish, tied to symbols and yet intensely personal, rule-bound and free.

[Robertacd]

phili your first paragraph sums up my experiences perfectly. When I was young the sexual aspect was a large component of my dressing. As I matured it turned me on less and less and in many ways I welcomed that. As when the sexual excitement first stared to wane I thought it meant I was finally "over" dressing.

But the need to dress stayed just as strong as the sexual excitement dwindled away. There was even a time when I would force myself to make it sexual so it would be "just a sexual thing" instead of what I knew it was deep in my heart.

For me it's not a fetish, it's not just a sexual thing, it is who I am.

[Elizabeth G]

The sexual component of dressing stopped for me a long time ago. Sure it was there when I was on my teens but that was much longer ago than I care to admit:o

[GretchenM]

For me, the sexual element disappeared years ago. That seems to be a pretty natural path as we get more and more in touch with our feminine identity and see all the good things and feelings she brings to the table. Also, I got old. And I discovered things that are better than sex - like nibbling on dark chocolate while sipping a rich red wine port. Or Gretchen seeing herself in the mirror and being satisfied with who she is and what she looks like. Many other things as well.

[Michala]

I recently retired so I have been dressing almost daily. I have also noticed that dressing and being feminine is ALL that I think about. I have been dressing since early teens mostly because of sexual urges, but now I really just enjoy the thoughts and feelings of being dressed and feminine.

I still enjoy sex being dressed but that's not my top priority anymore, does anyone else feel this way?

My feelings as well. One thing about it no longer being sexual for me is it's easier to have a flat front like a woman as opposed to trying to hide something creating a bump below the belt line.

[abbiedrake]

Wow Phili, thanks. Such beautiful words. Just lovely.

[BostonBrenda]

Its complex and confusing, crossdressing has not really felt sexual, its blissful. Being around other crossdressers is erotic to me however

[ShelbyDawn]

I can remember dressing as early as 5 or 6 and while I certainly had a few sexual experiences in my teens while wearing my sisters panties or my moms pantyhose, a stiff breeze would have had the same effect.
I like they way I feel when I dress. There is a completeness a rightness about it that is difficult to put my finger on. I wear small breast forms pretty much every day. The weight and the way they move, just feels right. I’ve done the whole makeover thing and have gone out fully dressed but it wasn’t that big a deal. For me dressing just FEELS right.

[Jaylyn]

Jodi I'm more like you in that I just enjoy the dressing part. It can also be a relaxing evening for me. There's a smoothness associated with the soft material and the undergarments that relaxes a body. I've grown more away from it being the sexual thing to a more it feels right and a relaxing mood is what I enjoy in an afternoon after working at the farm. I can slip into a soft night gown and sleep like a baby all night. I started this thing early in life, and it evolved into a sexual desire but now it's evolved into a feeling good and relaxing time for me.

[missjoann49]

Since I live and dress 24/7 it's not a sexual thing for me, it's more so the pleasure of who I am now