I'm Depress

[Glenda58]

Today I open my photo album and looking at all my outfits I got depress. I have no place to wear them now that I'm married. I might get to go out once or twice a year now when the wife is away or I go on trip without her. Before I was married I for go out 2 or 3 times a week. Always mass on Sunday then grocery shopping after church. There was always some meeting somewhere during the week. Going out to dinner and maybe a show once a week. But now I have all these outfits and I can go out,

I was told before I got married not to do it that my CDing would come to a stop. But I didn't believe them. Just venting I want to dress and go out as the complete Glenda not just underdressing or going out without makeup or my wig on.:sad:

[JulieB]

Im with ya it can be depressing at times. Being married makes it hard to deal with. I dress whenever I can. But those times where I go out , get a motel, and make a day of it then going out to club or? Dont happen enough, but when they do its a wonderful thing.

[Maria in heels]

Glenda...sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed because you can't go out as much as you did in the past. I can understand this and can only try to offer you a positive story...mine. I too did not dress as much once I was married for many years, but imagine, as our 30th year approaches, Maria was given the freedom and suggestion of venturing out! Now, I didn't ever go out except for those nighttime walks that many of us do in secret just so that we could breathe a little. Suddenly, she says maybe you do need to be with others and experience friendship, so she googles and searches and finds a meetup group for me! So since January, I have made two new friends in person and been out, working my bucket list (way behind what you have done) and continue to grow as a person... you never know what can happen, and hopefully one day, you will find that things change and Glenda will start traveling thru the world once again

[Robertacd]

I know the feeling it's hard when you are married, even harder married and raising children. But to echo Maria, now that our children are grown and myself coming to terms with and talking to my wife about where I really am on the transgender spectrum. My wife has become even more accepting and is even encouraging me.

[Jenny Elwood]

Well, if your wife is aware of your proclivities, you need to renegotiate your deal. Don't fall to pieces trying to live up to another's standard. I once tried to, it nearly killed me.

[Maria 60]

Well you know we all know where your coming from and we can all totally relate.. My famous line to my wife " I'm all dressed and nowhere to go". Life of a crossdresser, holding it in and bottle it up. We should always appreciate we have this place to vent.

[Rachelakld]

I was told before I got married not to do it that my CDing would come to a stop.

Sorry I missed something - who said marriage changes the person you are?
I though people got married because they love the person who "currently" exist, not some future re-molded person.
I understand people change when they age, but change to our own self, not that fictional character someone else wants (otherwise I'ld be Tatum Channing with abs instead of me).

[GretchenM]

I am with Jenny and Rachel. I think it is time to negotiate a new deal with the wife. But don't make it just about you. Keep it in the context of the marriage arrangement. Be gentle and take it slow. And maybe you should consider the possibility of changing your dressing format from full Glenda to enough Glenda to calm the dysphoria to a manageable level. Being a crossdresser/trans person is hard in a marriage depending on the attitude of your mate. But if the love is strong, a compromise can usually be found. But it takes work on both sides.

If your wife does not know about Glenda then telling the truth about you will make her think you lied to her and deceived her. Overcoming that may definitely take some professional help to keep the discussions from spinning out of control and both of you saying or doing things you will regret.

The solution is not obvious, but there is a solution that is workable. If you continue to feel resentful and that the marriage is hindering you from being the genuine you then that resentment will eat big holes in the fabric of your marriage.

[Judy-Somthing]

I only have a three hour window once every other week and an hour of it is spent getting dressed and undressed.
My desire to dress is still pretty strong even after 50 years of dressing.
I try to talk myself out of dress shopping but it's tuff.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is something you will have to work on as depression can become quite serious.

[Stephanie47]

I'm looking at your age and your posts back to 2007. You've only been married to your wife about ten years. It appears she has known about your desire to wear women's clothing for pretty much your entire marriage. I know younger guys thought cross dressing desires would lessen or disappear when married. I'm your age and I knew many decades ago that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. From your posts it seems your wife is controlling your marriage and it's on her terms. I think you need to revisit this issue. At our advance ages I think a woman has to accept the entire package and not just pick and choose. She does not have to participate, and, you do not have to push it in her face. Accommodations need to be made by both husband and wife.

[Angie G]

I know the feeling. I got married and never got my Corvette. But I'm not sorry. :hugs:
Angie

[Lydianne]

When I resigned myself to being incapable of defeating my dressing needs, the first thing I did was assess relationship hopes.

Do I miss marriage and kids? No,... but others in my position might.

So it's trading one loss for another. I chose one, you chose the other. I'm just fortunate that I don't regret my choice. Others who made the same choice as you might also not regret their choices.

- Lydianne.

[docrobbysherry]

Glenda, life is all about compromises and choices. As long as you're still alive u and your SO can work out ways for both of u to be happy!:)

Figure it out! I'm sure u can do it!:thumbsup: