Reaction from customer while working at Walmart

[JMO2]

I work in the Crafts/Sewing Department at Walmart some days. On this particular day I was putting the cards in with the patterns, in the drawer when this older guy I would say was between 65 and 70 walks up to me and the other associate in the department and starts to ask where the "Command Hooks" are when he stops dead in his tracks when I look up and says,"What are you doing working over here. Oh, well I suppose you wouldn't look bad in a dress". I look at him and said "I work over here because of experience. My mom was a seamstress for our town". He says,"So you modeled the dresses after they were made for people?". I said,"No, I was taught a lot by my mom when I was growing up." He says,"So you were forced to wear dresses when you were a boy". I said,"No the company hires and puts people in positions they are most qualified for". (which was a lie) He kinda looked at me funny and then asked,"Where are the Command Hooks". The comment to the lady I was working with said was ,"I think you got him a little befuttled and confused, good for you"!
This whole episode with this guy got me thinking that I wish all that he said were true, even though they are not. Strange how it gets you thinking like that. In Maine they cannot fire you based on race, religion or gender. On that note it wouldn't be a employment issue if I some day walked in dressed. I probably won't because on that same note they can let you go for no reason at all. (Kind of a double standard)

[Eemz]

He sounds like one of those a-hole old guys who think oh I'm old now so I can insult anyone I like and claim that "in my day" this behavior was ok. It wasn't. The same guy would also claim that "in his day" people were more polite, respectful and nice to each other. And he was none of those things to you.

Well done JM I think you handled it well and kept the high ground and didn't rise to the bait. I'm sure he was a bit flustered by the event, but only because you refused to play his game. Good for you :)

[Tracii G]

He was an admirer LOL

[Jean 103]

I think he was coming on to you.

You would have been better to ignore the comment.

Return with excuse me, what is it you’re looking for, less personal.

Or this one, but you will likely be fired, (you know the Walmart apt will tell you that gramps). LOL

[Patience]

[...]when he stops dead in his tracks when I look up and says,"What are you doing working over here. Oh, well I suppose you wouldn't look bad in a dress". [...]I would have said "Sorry, you're not my type".

As for the follow up questions about your personal life, you were under no obligation to answer anything. Just because you have to be nice to customers doesn't mean they have the right to interrogate you.

If such a question ever comes up again, just say the store sometimes rotates staff so they can get familiar with different products or that you're filling in for a staff member who called in sick.

[Beverley Sims]

Comments like that you just take them on the fly.

It does make you wonder what people like that are thinking.

[nvlady]

It's easy to talk to you like that when you're working. I wonder if he'd say the same things to you outside after work.

[Rochal Tukque]

That was totally strange! What ever are Command Hooks?

[SamanthaToday]

He clocked you.

Like the saying goes it takes one to know one.

But he was being a total jerk and thought he was being clever, I thought you handled yourself well.

Samantha

[quebec_blonde]

I may have answered "Why, do you like men in dresses?"

Good for you, sometimes the best comebacks are the ones we think of 10 minutes later.

[Allisa]

He's very homophobic and his comments were made to put you down because of his insecurities. The big question is why was HE in the sewing department?

[Catherine_B]

As time goes by neanderthals like him will slowly fade away, here in the UK its the teenagers that are in groups that represent a threat ...

[missjoann49]

Seems like he was kind of an A-Hole
Glad you handled yourself the way you did

[char GG]

It's possible that he had some kind of dementia or disability. Since my son is autistic, so I have dealt with many kids (now adults) with physical and emotional impairments. They often don't have the filter coming from the brain to the mouth.

I think you handled the situation very well. I hope he found his "command hooks" (whatever they are, lol).

[JMO2]

Thank you for all the nice replies it gives me a better perspective on what might have been going on in his "head".
"Command Hooks" are hooks and velcro that you can put up on a wall with a special adhesive on the back. They have a tab
that you pull and when you pull that tab the hook or velcro comes off the wall with no damage to the wall.

JMO2

[Crissy 107]

JMO2, I think you handled this jerk correctly, too bad it happened though.

[LeannS]

There are people that go out of their way to put people down you did very well keep your head up.

[Allison Chaynes]

There is a subgroup of old people who love annoying and pestering the hell out of retail associates. Like any group, it's easy to associate all with this subgroup and develop a dislike for them. Just remind yourself that just be cause this one was a $&@head doesn't mean all of them are. I just quit a job where 98% of our customers are over 60 because I got sick of reminding myself every five minutes that they're not all $&@holes when so many seem determined to prove me wrong.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Would have been better to ignore him from the get-go. Say the wrong thing and you could be fired, even if he started it.

Like Char said, he could have had dementia or something else wrong with him. Let that come out and you could be fired for talking that way to someone who is disabled (even if it isn't actually true.)

Yes, what I wrote above is a bit ridiculous, but in this day and age common sense is out the window. You are the employee, if there is blame to be had between the two of you, you will be the one to get the blame. And in an at-will state, you can be canned for any reason.

[Jodie_Lynn]

He clocked you.

Like the saying goes it takes one to know one.

But he was being a total jerk and thought he was being clever, I thought you handled yourself well.

Samantha

I don't think so. I got the impression that @JMO2 was working in drab. I felt that the customer was referring to a male working in a "traditionally" female department, i.e. sewing & fabrics, since the customer made the comment "What are you doing working over here. Oh, well I suppose you wouldn't look bad in a dress"


The follow up questions, cite a couple of tropes from 'forced feminization" stories. And, were also quite rude.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jmo2 :hugs:, So far they have not invented a FIX for SUTPID !! >Orchid ..O:daydreaming:O..

[Judy-Somthing]

It's to bad you can't tell off a customer.
A friend worked at a store and told a nasty customer where to go and he lost his job.
My wife would have scratched the side of her forehead with her middle finger and made sure he noticed!

[docrobbysherry]

I wonder? :brolleyes:

If u weren't a CD if anything he said would have phased u at all?:straightface:

[SusanSpencer]

I've learned the hard way to censor myself. Once, a dear female friend said "Your tongue is like a razor!" and burst into tears. I was mortified but she was dead-on. I'd hurt her and it was a while before I knew she trusted me again. Won't blame my early life. It's how my head works. Nothing more or less than that. Gradually I'm trying to become a better person - but so are all of you:hugs:

[Chloe St Clair]

When I was in those pre-teen years many moons ago, my father was constantly telling me to "Put your brain in gear before engaging your mouth!" Or in other words, "Think before you speak."

I'm sorry to say it took too, too, many years for me to develop that habit. I still sometimes forget and just say the first thing that comes to mind, with the predictable results. :sigh:

[Ressie]

It would have been better not to answer any of his questions IMO. Every answer you gave sparked more of the same type of questions from him. Of course, if I were actually in that situation I can't say how I would have reacted.

One method is to answer a question with a question. "What are you doing working over here. Oh, well I suppose you wouldn't look bad in a dress". What makes you say that? Now the pressure is on him to answer. - Or change the subject completely, maybe back to command hooks.

I like the axiom, "don't complain, don't explain". Explaining why you're in that department isn't part of your job description. You didn't have to do it.

[Meghan4now]

There is a lot missing from this story. Was the OP dressed? Partial mode? Did they know the customer. We're there other comments previously made that brought up the subject?

Out of the blue, from a total stranger, this seems to be a very odd conversation. If so, perhaps this person is lacking basic social filters or inhibitions. Funny how many people think CDing or trans is some form of crazy, but clinically diagnosible sociopathic attacts on us are ok!

[Tamara Croft]

I wonder? :brolleyes:

If u weren't a CD if anything he said would have phased u at all?:straightface:This is the best reply I've read in this thread and it's really true. Some of the replies are so far off the mark, it makes me wonder just what planet some of you fell off ;)

People of a certain age were raised differently and if the OP went to work en-drab, how would the customer even know they were a CD? Do they have a CD radar or something? Obviously not, it was just a passing remark because the OP was in the sewing section, it wasn't rude, it wasn't nasty etc... it was just one of those off the cuff comments.

Like Doc has said, if the OP wasn't a CD and just a male working in the sewing department, would it still be offensive? I personally thought it was quite funny, if you're offended by some off the cuff remark, God help you in the real world!

[Alice Torn]

Reminds me of a guy at the hardware store asking for a skyhook!!

[Joannie]

I might have asked him if he needed help finding dress.

[Ressie]

how would the customer even know they were a CD? Do they have a CD radar or something?

None of us know if the OP is a bit effeminate or what his personality is like. We also don't know the tone of voice the customer had. Also someone saying "you wouldn't look bad in a dress" would be fighting words to many guys IMO. I've been to Maine and it isn't anything like San Francisco. And I agree that the guy was very likely looking for a hook up.

However, Docrobbysherry did bring up a good point that no one else did.

[BettyMorgan]

He sounds like one of those a-hole old guys who think oh I'm old now so I can insult anyone I like and claim that "in my day" this behavior was ok. It wasn't. The same guy would also claim that "in his day" people were more polite, respectful and nice to each other. And he was none of those things to you.

Well done JM I think you handled it well and kept the high ground and didn't rise to the bait. I'm sure he was a bit flustered by the event, but only because you refused to play his game. Good for you :)
👆🏻 This. Exactly.
No, he wasn't coming on to you. He was simply taking the opportunity to be an a-hole.
He was likely looking for Command Hooks to hang his Jerk of the Year award.