Why not a hobby?

[Alexandra Collins]

I suspect many will take issue with my post, but please keep in mind I am not suggesting this applies to anyone other than myself.

If you look at a typical definition of a hobby (a regular activity done for enjoyment, typically during one's leisure time - wikipedia), that pretty much sums up how I feel as an occasional or "weekend" crossdresser who goes about once or twice a month. I don't feel like a woman, I don't feel girly, I don't feel like there is a woman inside trying to get out, etc. But for reasons I cannot fully explain, I just like getting dressed up and trying to look as convincing as possible, and being around others in public in this mode. I think my S.O. put it best when she said I like playing the role of a woman in public. The closest analogy I can come up with is someone who does amateur theater, i.e., for some reason they enjoy playing the role of someone else in front of an audience. For me I think it is some combination of the look and feel of the clothes and the feeling of being thought of, or treated as, a woman.

I totally understand and accept that for some (most?) crossdressers, calling it a hobby is not right for various reasons, I'm just saying that for me I think it is not necessarily wrong.

Just wondering if anyone else feels like I do?

For no good reason just including a photo from my last GNO a few weeks ago, in the hotel room after I got home. I decided to wear pants for the first time, because I had recently scraped up my knee in a minor cycling accident!

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[Jaylyn]

You certainly look good while working on your hobby.... Love the outfit. My wife supports me in all my outdoor hobbies. She even participates in most of them. Maybe if I can convince her this is just another hobby then she be more in support of it.

[michelleddg]

Hey Alexandra,

I would say my attention to my craft - to discover what I can do to make myself attractive and convincing as a woman - has a strong hobby flavor to it. I would also say the attention I've paid in recent years to knocking off bucket list items has a hobby component. However, my need to crossdress is embedded in my DNA and is in no way a hobby. The good news is that I made my peace with all of this many years ago, and no longer lose sleep over why I am how I am. Hugs, Michelle

[Sallee]

I call it a hobby because the term fits.i dress for enjoyment and what I find as the thrill of it. I do it on a part time basis a few times a month and I even get bored with it if I spent several days involved in it and I need something else . Maybe its my age.
I would call skiing and taking care of my equipment a hobby and I do it in the winter 7 or 8 times and if it is continual say a week after 4 days I need something else.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Aleandrea :hugs:, My:love:Wife calls it my little hobby, That's good enough for me. >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[susan54]

Alexandra. I identify with your situation. I am just acting and it is fun. I regard myself as a gender tourist - I get the feelgood aspects of looking elegant in dresses and skirts without the hassle of actually being a woman and at no point to I identify as a woman no matter how much I manage to look and move like one. By the way I love your top.

[Princess Chantal]

I started to use the word “interest” in place of the “hobby” as it seems like it doesn’t draw the long winded lecturing.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I kind of think it is a HOBBY---I experiment with seeing how many DIFFERENT looks I can achieve with clothing and makeup and aided by photography---with a goal of looking like totally different people or characters. I don't use Photoshop--only different lighting, camera angles and facial expressions. For the outside world, I try different male disguises and costumes, with one or two female characters thrown in. But in my CD mode all my characters and looks are FEMALE. This is my USUAL activity when I CD, apart from the CD "High" and psychological effects.

[Robertacd]

I got dumped on by lots of people here when I called it a hobby a few years ago.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Call it whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Just remember to not apply YOUR definition to what others do.

[Brandie.n]

I also call my dressing a hobby I like to play dress up when something good happens,I dress up for halloween,and i also get to play with fashion its one of my many hobbies

[DanielleDubois]

Alexandra , your hobby description fits me almost 100%. I am very comfortable wanting to look and feel as convincingly female about once a month and have no trouble returning to my male self. For many of us it is as much of as hobby as civil war re-enactors who can go to extreme lengths in being as authentic as possible. In our case our "re-enactment" involves a change of gender and therefore is not well understood or accepted by the general public.
However as stated by michelleddg there is something in my DNA that makes my crossdressing a necessity or compulsion . I don't think that is case with civil war re-enactors or other hobbies.

[Frannie7]

Alexandra (and other who have posted) I have been waiting for a post like this for a while because it almost perfectly describes how I feel about crossdressing. I may dressed up once or twice a month and get out once every two months. I have described it to others as playing a role in some ways. I, too, try to look as convincing as possible and enjoy going to places like Sephora for makeup applications. I also find going out more enjoyable when there is someone to go out with. It wasn't this wasn't this way when I started (we won't go there) but now I do look forward to looking as best as I can and going out. Unfortunately, my wife doesn't know, so this makes going out a little harder.

[ReneeTD]

For my part, shopping for women's clothes is more the hobby. Dressing occupies a deeper psychic place than just a hobby, it's a preferred state of being. I'm not "out" and tend to pursue it in moments when I have the privacy to do so, or ways that I can incorporate it in the daily grind. Once in that mode, I am loath to stop. Were it not for my life circumstances, I would probably be full time. I under dress constantly, only using male underwear for doctor visits or such. My femme wardrobe is probably bigger than my male things. I wear my hair at terminal length. In some respects it's more a need than a hobby.

[Diane Smith]

There is certainly a need to stretch gender boundaries that occupies a deep place in my psyche. The drive to do this is far stronger and more fundamental to my personality than my motives for pursuing more ordinary hobbies.

But more superficially, there certainly is an element of "craft" to crossdressing that I also enjoy. Designing the look, purchasing the clothes, producing an artistic presentation with hair, jewelry, clothing, shoes and makeup are all creative pursuits that I enjoy. Observing women in the real world, talking to fashion and beauty professionals, and reading magazines and web sites for clothing and makeup tips supports my art much like the meetings, conferences and publications from my hobby organizations help me learn about my more socially neutral pastimes. Emotionally, I would still be TG even if I never tried on the clothes or thought about my makeup colors. But it's the "hobby" aspect that gives me the satisfaction of creating a unique look and sharing it with others.

- Diane

[KimberlyJean]

It is not a hobby for me, if I could have just decided not to do it I would have, my life would have been infinitely easier without it.

[abbiedrake]

Why not a hobby indeed, Alexandra?
Call it what you want. It's your live experience.
We don't all have to be tub-thumping, political activists.
You're clearly rocking it, whatever label is applied.

[deebra]

For me, deebra I would love to have a set of natural D boobs in my D bra and no package in my thongs and panties. Would love to be a woman for a year. Imagine with this female body and going about as a woman, the enjoyment, fulfilment and happiness. This is not a hobby for me, it's me.

[rhonda]

Hobby or whatever it sure is getting costly

[Beverley Sims]

Alexandra,

I think you look very chic.

Well you have your hobby and I have my pass time.

Yep I can pass the time very easily.

What a great pastime for me. :-)

[Teresa]

Alexandra,
I admit the first time I read someone calling it a hobby I went ballistic . I accept now it can be a hobby to some , the mistake some people make is they tar everyone with same brush .

When I first joined I was on quite a rollercoaster ride , so my reply was the first time I read it called a hobby I pointed out that hobbies don't tear famillies apart , they don't bring you close to ending your life . They don't leave you in such turmoil you need to bare your soul to counsellors/therapists . In these circumstances I felt it would have been totally insulting to my wife and family if I called it my hobby .

Maybe that's a point others should consider when they try and appease wives/partners by calling it a hobby , think twice that you're not actually insulting them . The other point is don't use it as an excuse to spend excessive money on it , again I assured my wife my dressing wasn't going to cost a fortune . She wasn't happy about me trawling the local charity shops but was happier letting me have some of her things .

Again the problem can come when it esculates from a hobby , when you find GD is becoming a problem , then you may be accused of lying about it only being a hobby .

OK you took the precaution of making the disclaimer , I for one appreciate that .

[Bobbi46]

It is whatever rocks your boat so to speak? if it is conceived as a hobby by one then so be it, i think when it changes fromù being more than a "hobby" is when one spends more than just the occasional day dressed but spends most days dressed. personaly I do not look upon it as a hobby for me it is more a way of life a way of living a long held dream that is now a reality.

[Cheryl T]

For some I can agree it's a hobby.
For me I must disagree. A hobby, in my mind, is something someone chooses to do because they have a fondness, or love of a particular thing or activity. Rebuilding cars, collecting stamps, making furniture are things I see as hobbies.
I didn't choose this, it chose me. I don't do it because I love the clothes, but because the clothes allow me to express what's deep inside me so that others can recognize it. Yes, I feel feminine at times no matter how I'm dressed, and even sometimes naked (rarely, but sometimes) but no one else knows and I do want others to know, to see me, to recognize my inner feelings. So ... for me this is definitely not a hobby.

[GretchenJ]

I believe that as long as one puts the disclaimer that this opinion does not apply to everyone here, but is relevant to a certain percentage of the members who post, there should be no issues, and that this is a valid argument for some.

[Georgina]

Almost true for me, although it is more of an interest. Once I discovered female clothes I wanted to know more about them. This included a lot of research into the history as well. I still do a lot of reading on the subject. As I tend towards the scientific ,in my approach, I wanted to do the practical as well as the theory.

[Stephanie47]

When I was a little kid I asked my mother to send away for a packet of stamps for twenty-five cents and a box top from some cereal. I am still "collecting" stamps after sixty plus years. That's my hobby, along with collecting coins and building plastic military models. For various reasons I engage less and less with those hobbies.

Donning women's clothing does not fall into the "hobby" category for me. Like a GG, there are men who wear women's clothing and "collect" specific women's attire; vintage slips for example. But, for me, to get all pretty and emulate a woman is to respond to an inner pull coming from my dna. I've notice through the years that external stimuli and situations have decreased the influence of what I perceive to be my feminine strands of dna.

[Ceera]

It certainly can be a hobby for some of us. Nothing wrong with calling it that for yourself, if you feel it suits you.

I remember when I first started going out dressed in public, and seriously started being able to ‘pass’ more often than not, even when engaging strangers in lengthly conversations. I took a certain amount of pride in my ‘skill as an actor’, that with no medical changes at all, not even pierced ears, I could - through makeup, voice, behavior and what I wore - get a majority of people to accept me at face value as a ‘genuine female’. And for a while, I wondered if that was all it was. If I just enjoyed getting others to see me as female, and not to see the guy under the makeup.

But like any other hobby, for some people it can evolve into a passion, an avocation, or a profession. A casual cross dresser may discover deeper needs driving their ‘hobby’, needs not to just ‘play a role’, but to live in that new role, as a definition of who we are. And that is fine too. It doesn’t mean all ‘hobby’ cross dressers will eventually transition. No more than a family vacation shapshot enthusiast is bound to become a professional photographer. My own need evolved past a ‘need to be seen’, into a ‘need to live like this’. When I realized how much happier I was just walking around in public as a woman, even when doing very mundane tasks and hardly interacting at all with anyone else, that changed it for me. That was when it went from ‘need to be seen’ to ‘need to be accepted, and to live this way’, for me.

We each walk a different path in life. The labels we associate with what we do and how we live can only properly be assigned by ourselves.

[Majella St Gerard]

For me it is also a hobby, sometimes a fetishistic hobby 😉.

[Angie G]

Call it what you like I just wanna get dressed up and feel good. At my age I don't want to spend what time I have on this planet thinking about trivial things. :hugs:
Angie

[Jenny22]

For me, it's not a hobby, it's a daily necessity.

[Nikki A.]

Can it be considered a hobby? Yes, in certain ways for certain people. I also considered it a hobby when I didn't have the freedom that I have now. However for many of us (and I think I am in this category) we progress from it being a hobby into a kind of lifestyle or a comfortable need. If there were not work concerns I would spend more time dressed than drab. As it is as soon as I get home, I'm more likely to slip into a skirt or leggings to get comfortable. It feels right and comfortable.

[Alexandra Collins]

Thanks all for your very civil and thoughtful comments. I started this thread not to suggest that I or anyone else should use the word hobby to describe their dressing. I just wanted to hear from others to see if this term could apply to them, or not, and the reasons why either way. By having a discussion about a single word, we can possibly get to some deeper insight that is meaningful. For example, if I were to try to summarize what everyone has said in this thread in a single sentence, I would say something like:

Maybe there are two end-member types of crossdressers - those for whom it's about what's on the outside, and those for whom it's about what's on the inside. i.e., the clothes versus gender identity. And of course, there can be any combination in between.

For me, I would say I'm probably at least 90% outside. As someone in their mid 50's who only started seriously dressing just over a year ago, I am still trying to figure this all out, for example, to help communicate with my S.O. to express how I feel and hopefully maintain our relationship. I realize if you've been dressing for many years, this is all old news to you, or you've finally realized it doesn't matter or you don't care. I'm just not there yet.


Thanks for reading this far (as an "incentive/reward(!?)" I've added another photo from my last GNO, taken after I got back to our hotel room and I wanted to try another outfit before removing my makeup.),
Alexandra

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[Teresa]

Ceera,
It's a lovely way of describing the evolution some of us go through .The reference of " Skills as an actor " that could equally apply to the times some of us have to revert to male mode now . During the thirty years of photography I often felt I had to act the part on many occasions , I would often think after that I couldn't beleive I've just done what I did . I do question if I did start out acting the part when I first set foot out the door to attend my first social group meetings , I felt so comfortable right from the start so had I become the true me ? I certainly felt a whole person, part of me was no longer hidden .

I know there is the saying that , " Life is a stage and we are all just actors on that stage " I'm now happy with the assigned label of Teresa .

[April Rose]

It doesn't feel like a hobby to me. I have a number of hobbies several of which I usually work at while dressed in woman's wear. It often seems to me that my concentration is better that way, but it is hard to be objective in any realistic way. It just seems more like an identity thing for me.

[audreyinalbany]

I am more than okay classifying my dressing as a hobby while fully acknowledging that for many it's a deep felt need. I'm just a guy that likes to present as a woman...love doing it, but I don't identify as a woman or feel the need to be a woman or feel that I have an 'inner woman' struggling to get out. it's just a 'thing' I do and that I enjoy.

[Tracii G]

Is it normal to feel the need to have a female name while doing this hobby?
I have to ask to all the hobby folks why do you have a female name?

[Alexandra Collins]

Is it normal to feel the need to have a female name while doing this hobby?
I have to ask to all the hobby folks why do you have a female name?

Traci, I'm still not sure "hobby" applies to me, but I have a female name because I go out in public, and I want my name to match my presentation.

[Tracii G]

It may just be more than a hobby for you after all you just haven't realized it yet.
I am transgender so dressing completes who I am,I have no days where I dress totally male.

[Judy-Somthing]

One hobby that stopped my CDing for close to twenty years was having children.
Now that they've all moved out should I make wooden toys, or play Girly-Dress-UP?

I guess it's Girly-Dress-UP

[Princess Chantal]

Is it normal to feel the need to have a female name while doing this hobby?
I have to ask to all the hobby folks why do you have a female name?
I felt the need to use a feminine name online due to seeing it was a common practice in the crossdressing community. Then when I joined the local crossdressing social group I was asked to give a feminine name to sustain anonymity. As I started publicly socializing, the friends felt uncomfortable in referring to me as Jeff when I was presenting a feminine appearance. I don’t use this feminine name for dinner reservations or other arrangements eventhough I know I will be presenting in a feminine form. I am glad that my family doesn’t feel uncomfortable in referring to me as Jeff or Uncle Jeff eventhough I may be presenting in the feminine form (and I sure don’t feel uncomfortable in responding to my real name)

[Majella St Gerard]

the name I use is unisex, I go by Gerri. I've been called Jerry on and off my whole life so I just changed the spelling.
if you are trans then it is not a hobby for you but for us straight guys that like to dress up occasionally it's a HOBBY.
everyone defines themselves.

[Princess Chantal]

I am not a straight guy, I still perceive my crossdressing as an interest, hobby, activity, etc

[Alexandra Collins]

It may just be more than a hobby for you after all you just haven't realized it yet.
I am transgender so dressing completes who I am,I have no days where I dress totally male.

I don't think so Traci, I enjoy dressing as a male most of the time, and after I go out dressed as a female, when I get home I usually can't wait to get those clothes off!

[Tracii G]

Whichever works for you is fine with me and I hope you enjoy it.
The spectrum in CDing is far and wide and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

[JoanneNY]

Great thread, for me, it's a hobby, i've built model airplanes in my youth, fishing on my boat was my mid life release and now that I'm alone I can enjoy my life long desire to C/D. Wait, that alone says that's not really a hobby, I guess it is somewhere in between hobby and the inner drive we have.
WW

[Teresa]

Judy ,
For one moment I thought you were suggesting having children was a hobby !!

I have to aplogise for my sense of humour sometimes but when women tell me how many kids they've had I say with a smile , " Don't you think you should have found another hobby for your husband ? " I've had some really great answers when I've asked that question .

[ellbee]

Lot of great responses! :thumbsup:


Not sure how much more I can add at this point, but for me it certainly takes on *some* elements of a hobby. And I think it always has, at least on some various levels at different times in my life.

For example, back during my en-femme days of going out & about, usually socially (including vanilla hetero bars/clubs), the attempt to pass/blend was a fun, challenging & even vital one. Definitely an art & a science to it, that soaked up a lot time, effort, practice, knowledge, experience, etc. The driving *need* for doing that wasn't a hobby -- but the actual transformation was certainly so, in a way.


Of course, doing all that in my 20's & 30's was definitely easier to be a bit more convincing... But obviously those days are long gone. :heehee:

I still partake in that hobby aspect from time to time, or at least the transformation part, but it's more of a giant hassle & pain in the butt for me, really. And even then, I no longer go the whole 9 yards, with no desire to cover every last little detail like I used to. The quest for perfection was just a recipe for eventual burn-out, really. Besides, I could be wrong, but I feel I've already done pretty much all of what I wanted to do with that. So, I try to leave the past, in the past.


These days, part of it is still a hobby for me. I say that, because it can sometimes *compete* with other hobbies of mine! Whether in terms of time, money, energy, passion, etc. Only so much of that stuff to go around, ya know? Of course, I can still do this "hobby" while enjoying other ones at the same time... Though at that point, it's honestly just some stuff I happen to be wearing at the time, LOL.

I'm an avid leggings fan, for example. Not only do I like wearing them, but I also enjoy shopping for them! The hunt for them, the discovering of a "new" brand or style or print, etc. I spend quite a bit of time on that, heh... And quite a bit of money, too. :o I do some of my leggings shopping on eBay, which adds a whole new element to it all... Will the seller lower the price on this hard-to-find pair? Will they instead toss it up as an auction with a lower starting bid? Are other potential buyers also "watching" it? Will eBay randomly throw me a nice discount code? Blah blah blah. It really is quite fun. :thumbsup:

I should mention, that I own over 200 pairs of leggings, easy. Probably closer to 250? Not kidding. I didn't plan it that way -- it just happened! :eek: And on some levels, I guess you could say it's my leggings *collection*. Only it's a wearable collection. :p



Anyway, as others have mentioned, the act of CD'ing, itself, can certainly be a hobby for some. For others, parts of it may take on certain elements of a hobby -- but it's not an outright hobby, per se.

And just as some in this community enjoy some hobby *aspects*? Guess what: So do plenty of GG's! Whether it's their love of leggings, or make-up, or shoes, or nails, or fitness, or whatever... They, too, can definitely have a passion for certain girly things, many of which they have in common with people like us. Pretty cool, really.

So, at least in that sense, there's really nothing wrong with having CD'ing as a hobby. :)

[AllieBellema]

Personally, I'd say aslong as you enjoy it, enjoy it how you view it... whether it's a hobby of a lifestyle. I would probably say I'm more hobby because more of what I do is crossplay since pretty much my entire wardrobe would not blend in at the local mall. I do enjoy my "hobby" and it makes me happy. I always say do what makes you happy and if it being a lifestyle makes you happy, then that's the way to treat it!

[CarlaWestin]

For me it is also a hobby, sometimes a fetishistic hobby ��.

I think this sums it up nicely for me. Proclivity is such a complicated word.
Funny enough, I was helping a neighbor with a home project and he asked me if I had any hobbies.
I said yes but I just couldn't think of any at the moment.

[ellbee]

I would probably say I'm more hobby because more of what I do is crossplay since pretty much my entire wardrobe would not blend in at the local mall.

Cosplay is another perfect example of how GG's, too, can turn an aspect of this into a hobby of theirs (heck, some even make $$$ off it!).

Not only is it about the creativity & fashion, but for them (just as can sometimes be for us), it's also outwardly "becoming someone else" -- or even just a different extension of themselves.


Oh, and for those who don't know what cosplay & crossplay are, definitely look into it. Probably more geared towards the under-40 crowd, from what I understand, but definitely looks like a lot of fun! :)

[sometimes_miss]

It is not a hobby for me, if I could have just decided not to do it I would have, my life would have been infinitely easier without it.

^this. I didn't choose to want to crossdress, and if I could quit with no unpleasant effects, I would. I think of hobbies as something that I choose to do for enjoyment. For me, crossdressing isn't for enjoyment. It's something I do which just feels normal. No enjoyment, no thrills, not a turn on of any sort. Just.......normal.

[Taylor186]

If you are a member here then crossdressing is not a hobby for you. If the only acting/role playing you do is that which allows you to dress in women's clothing then it is not a hobby for you. Actors and cosplayers don't hang out here unless they are also crossdressers, or maybe studying for a role. I get it though. Claiming the "hobby space" is a lot less guilt ridden than having to face up to the fact that you are a widely misunderstood and derided crossdresser.

[Alexandra Collins]

If you are a member here then crossdressing is not a hobby for you. If the only acting/role playing you do is that which allows you to dress in women's clothing then it is not a hobby for you. Actors and cosplayers don't hang out here unless they are also crossdressers, or maybe studying for a role. I get it though. Claiming the "hobby space" is a lot less guilt ridden than having to face up to the fact that you are a widely misunderstood and derided crossdresser.

Hi Taylor,

I wasn't suggesting that all CD's should consider it a hobby, only that some, like myself, might think about it that way, although I'm still not sure it is a good fit for me. I never suggested that CD'ing and acting were somehow the same thing, only that it was the closest analogy I could think of, and no analogy is perfect by definition, or else it would be the same thing.

Your comment about guilt (and being misunderstood and derided) is way off the mark, at least for me, but I suppose for some that may be a part of it.

Alexandra

[Jenny22]

"A rose by any other name would smell the same." Ditto, hobby or not. Just love it.

[Jaymees22]

Hobby? Lifestyle? Fetish? Addiction? Compulsion? all of the above but always fun.

[Kiwi Primrose]

I have used the term "my hobby" several times in my postings because that is how I see it. I love skirts and as they are being worn less by women they are easy to collect without spending a fortune. Of course it is necessary to have good lingerie, shoes and tops but once again collecting these is easy with so much variety to choose from.
I am not trying to be a woman but I like to wear the clothes as authentically as I can.